I didn't sleep that night.

I knew I was making the right decision for myself and for my family. Besides, I had never been the type to plan out my dream wedding…

… okay, something at Disneyland would have been nice, back when the park was open.

Somehow, as I tossed and turned, the ceremony suddenly seemed very important. With the world as it was, there was no way I could plan out anything extravagant. Our wedding would have to be quick, with only Dad and Asher in attendance. My friends would want to know why I was marrying a guy I hadn’t even seen in over a year, and I couldn’t tell them about the SAFEsite.

Connor’s last name was Schneider. My new married name danced around and around in my head. Hi, I’m Astrid Schneider. I’m Miss Schneider. Just call me Mrs. Connor Schneider.

Oh, God.

It was stupid. I was literally facing the end of the world. The last thing I needed to do was worry about surnames, but my brain would not turn off.

I finally fell asleep around two in the morning, but when the alarm rang it felt like I had just shut my eyes.

First thing I did when I got up was check Dad's bedroom. He hadn’t come home last night. Big surprise.

Well, if he wasn’t home, he couldn’t tell me and Asher off for having a cup of coffee. We were both horribly addicted, which was a bad idea seeing as there weren’t going to be any more coffee beans soon. I blamed Starbucks. Sugary frappuccinos are a gateway drug.

Bleary-eyed, I started the coffee machine and yelled at my smart TV to turn on the news.

I immediately regretted it. Riots had sparked up in San Francisco last night. The city was an hour and a half to the north, too far away to worry about the violence spreading, but it was also probably a taste of what was to come.

“Ugh,” Asher groaned as he stumbled out of the connecting garage that doubled as his bedroom. After he hit twelve-years-old, we’d converted it so he could have his own space. He took one look at the TV and told it to switch to cartoons.

I rolled my eyes but handed him a cup of coffee.

“I can’t believe you’re going to school,” he said.

“Well I am, and so are you.”

Tipping his head back, he groaned again and slumped in his chair. “Why?”

“What else are you going to do today?”

“I don’t know. Surf?”

I leveled a disapproving look at him. “Seriously? You can do that after school. The water’s too cold this time of year in the morning, anyway.”

“That’s what a wetsuit is for.” He took another sip and sighed. “Fine, I’ll go to school.”

We both went quiet for a moment, enjoying our caffeine fix. However, I noticed that Asher was looking everywhere but at me. He wasn’t the type of guy to keep anything to himself, though. Sure enough, he spoke up.

“So, have you thought more about what Connor said?”

“No,” I lied. “I don’t need to.”

“Geez.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I don’t like it.” I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he held up his hand. “Not in a ‘He’s my best friend and you’re my sister’ overprotective sort of way. It’s just, like, you shouldn’t have to take the bullet for Dad and me.” The coffee must have kicked in because his lips pulled to the side in a quick, teasing smile. “Or whatever that guy has down there.”

“Asher! Gross!” Unfortunately, the only thing within arm’s reach was a roll of paper towels. I threw it, nailing him in the face.

He grinned, but it was fleeting. Asher leaned forward. “Seriously, though, Astrid. Are you sure? Absolutely sure?”

I couldn’t let myself think about my answer. “I’ve known Connor forever. I think, maybe, I could grow to love him.”

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

And that was the crux of it right there. I didn’t love him. I’d never even had a crush on him—though apparently he had one on me, which was super weird. Why hadn’t I noticed?

Could I love him? He wasn’t bad looking. Actually, he was handsome now that he’d put on some growth. He was fair-minded, and had never made fun of me, even as a little boy. He also liked to surf, too, and had done a little skateboarding when we were kids. It would kind of be like marrying Asher.

UGH. EW.

Wrinkling my nose, I shook my head and tried to banish that disgusting thought forever.

“Come on,” I said, rising. “Let’s get to school.”

* * *

The school's bus service hadn’t been running for the last couple of months. Luckily, Asher and I lived close enough to our high school to walk.

On a regular day, students gathered in the open air cafeteria to mingle and gossip before the first bell rang. It had always been crowded, noisy, a raucous mix of sleep deprived kids and weird nervous energy.

Today, we walked into a ghost town. Maybe half the people were there as usual, and most of the talk was subdued. Some of the girls hugged each other with tears in their eyes. Not a big leap to figure out the topic of conversation was how no one got chosen for the lottery.

“Don’t say a word about Connor’s offer,” Asher said in a low tone.

I turned to him, shocked. “Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“No, but just don’t…” he trailed off and winced. “I think the next few months are going to be hard, and I know how you are. You’ll feel bad for the people who aren’t getting in.”

So, what? I'd share my good fortune? I rolled my eyes and turned away from him to look for my usual group. The table I sat at was completely empty. Lydia and Ashley had already texted to let me know they weren’t coming to school. Marrissa was a total 4.0 GPA nerd, though. I didn’t think she would miss class for anything, but she was nowhere to be found.

Normally Asher would be mingling with the other surfers and jocks, but today he stuck close. Either he was feeling protective, or he didn’t trust me not to spill.

The conversation in the cafeteria was muted to the level roughly appropriate for a funeral wake. So, naturally, Jessi O’Hannon’s snide voice rang out like a bell.

“—I know she won the lottery. She has to be hiding out with her boyfriend.”

My head turned, even though I knew that engaging with The Queen Bee was a bad idea.

Jessi “Queen Bee” O’Hannon wasn’t a bully in the traditional sense. She was one of the most overly aggressive girls I’d ever met. Anyone who crossed her path was a target. By the second month of school, everyone had a story. Normally, I tried to ignore her, but this was too important.

“Who won the lottery?” I asked.

Jessi gave me a slow, deliberate glance up and down, both dismissive and judgmental. “Excuse me? Who do you think you’re looking at?”

“I’m looking at you,” Asher said before I could reply. He stepped forward. “What are you saying about the lottery, Freshman?”

Yup. He was definitely feeling protective.

Queen Bee’s dark eyes flicked from me to Asher. “Celia Yarrow. Kylee saw her father’s initials on TV last night, and she hasn’t shown up for school yet.” She turned back to her friends with a mean laugh. “She’s probably trying to get pregnant with her boyfriend so he can come along, too. Then he’d be family.”

A wave of shame and anger rose up within me, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. Even if Jessi wasn't making up rumors, I wasn’t doing the same thing as Celia…and even if I was, so what? It was the end of the world. Who cared anymore?

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Asher said, a hand on my shoulder. He didn't need for me to say anything to guess the direction of my thoughts. “Let’s get out of here.”

Thankfully, the bell for the first period rang.

* * *

I walked into homeroom to see that someone had written ‘320 Days To Live’ in big bold letters on the whiteboard in permanent sharpie. My poor homeroom teacher spent most of the prep period trying to clean it off.

That set the tone for the day. Only a few of my teachers showed up for work, and those who did weren’t interested in teaching.

Mostly, I played on my phone and sat in on a game of Shenanigans when someone brought out a deck of cards. The game used to be called ‘Bullshit’, which you’d yell out if you asked if someone had the card you wanted and they lied. The administration came down on us for yelling out profanities, so sometime last year, it evolved into ‘Shenanigans’.

Either way, not a lot of learning was done. No one mentioned a change in the curriculum, either. I guess we were all still in a period of after-lottery adjustment.

The bell for lunch finally sounded, and I kept myself from sprinting to the cafeteria. If Shane wasn’t there, I was going to ditch the rest of the day.

But there he was, sitting at a table that was set to the outside edge, leg bouncing up and down. I slowed to a walk, not wanting to look like I had been in a hurry.

“Hey,” I said, sitting across him.

“Hey,” he echoed, expression visibly lightening.

We smiled at each other, my heart jumping in my chest. “I looked for you before school,” I blurted.

He grimaced. “Yeah, I usually stay away from the cafeteria in the mornings. Too much drama.”

Over his shoulder, I saw that a group of girls had taken over the next table over. All were red-eyed, with one girl crying into her hands while another patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

My happiness burst like a balloon, replaced by a pang of hollow, aching guilt. I had the chance to live out the asteroid, but everyone else was staring death in the face.

Shane had turned to look, too. He shook his head and glanced back at me. “It’s a tough day for everyone.”

He was right, but seeing the girl crying was the last straw. I couldn’t take any more fear and grief.

Grabbing my backpack, I stood. “Let’s get out of here.”

“You mean, ditch school?”

“Sure. No one is teaching anything anyway.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I just can’t…I can’t take the atmosphere right now.”

He hesitated, but then nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere but here,” I said.