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Chapter 74 - Back Again

Berlin was just like John remembered it: an oppressive wall stretching out of sight around tall and cold buildings. It was different from Paris, where people had the liberty to care about design and beauty.

John felt that Berlin more adequately represented Earth’s state, emphasizing function over form—a very German approach, if the stereotypes from his world also held true here.

But even here, there were beautiful buildings with columns and stonework that reminded him of the capital of his world. They were just well hidden in between the newer ones.

He and Karin walked through the streets from the train station to the Project Red facility, taking in the city. Neither of them had talked much, with Karin too worried about the tyrant situation and John too drained of emotion.

He still had emotions, but they were under suppression. It was much easier to live in the moment, focusing on what he saw instead of what was on his mind.

Children's laughter suddenly caught his attention, making him look over at the concrete park of a building. Four young kids were playing with a ball, kicking it around and trying to keep it in the air.

It made him smile to see that kids were still able to play, that the world hadn’t been completely drained of happiness, and that there was something worth fighting for.

“Humans are still humans, even in this state,” he mumbled, walking past the park. “As long as there are kids, I guess…”

Karin seemed lost in her thoughts, having a more somber expression than John. “Do you think they would join the breaker program if they had the choice?”

“Breaker program? The simulation, you mean?”

Karin nodded, staring at the ground as they walked. “So many orphans were brought into the program without much of a choice. But maybe they would be happy to have the chance to fight for Earth. Maybe we’re lucky to have such an opportunity, and such a beautiful childhood.”

John considered her words, feeling that Karin was trying to make a decision based on them. “I… feel pretty lucky to have the memories that I have. If the alternative is living in a place like this, without any parents, I’d go into the simulation willingly.”

“Maybe you did.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to wonder about that. I just… I’m scared that my memories are all fake. That the simulation began this year, and my first twenty years of life were all erased like they never happened. Who did I leave behind? And what would that mean for me, with nothing but fake memories?”

Karin stayed silent, digesting his words carefully. “... Perhaps it’s best not to know? Live the little white lie they’ve told us and focus on the problems ahead of us instead.”

“That would be easier. But since the thought formed in my head, it’s been bugging me… It’s like we’ve been reincarnated in a way. People left behind, memories lost, but the same soul inside.”

“Mhm… Then, should we be grateful for that?”

John knew what she was really asking. But it still wasn’t something he could answer for her.

“Karin, if you want to stop fighting, that’s up to you. And if they threaten your husband to force your hand, I’ll fight Director Lee personally. Several ECs will since we all want the simulation to be left untouched.”

“... It’s not that I want to stop. It’s just… I’m so scared of leaving him behind. If they could create a fake version of me to take my place if I die, I think I’d be less nervous. Even if it’s a horrible thought.”

“Oh, I hate that,” John replied, nearly recoiling at the idea. The thought of a false version of him living on to lessen the impact on the people he left behind was disturbing. And not totally out of character for the company.

“Well, I mean, I don’t like it. But I’m not sure my husband would survive without me. He would at least suffer greatly, and I hate the thought of that.”

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John looked at her, unable to keep a grimace from appearing on his face. “I understand why you said you envy me a bit now. My choice is easy. But if Serah was back home waiting for me to return…”

Karin nodded wistfully, looking at the river they were walking by. “I won’t know what to do before returning to him. I could at least protect the city if there are emergencies, but another portal…”

“The survival rate is about sixty percent, and I think you’d be fine. That percentage is probably affected by situations like these, so it might even be higher.”

“Oh, you’re daring to convince me now?” Karin asked, smiling at him.

John smiled back. “You said it would be your decision, right? No need for me to feel bad, then.”

“Hah, you’re cheeky! Well, if everyone surviving becomes an aspecter, it’s no wonder they send us out on these expeditions. It’s a massive increase in power.”

“... We might need that power soon. When the weavers leave for China, their portals will be unguarded. No way to know what happens then.”

“That’s ominous…” She sighed, looking at the entrance to the company they just arrived at. “I’ll need time to make a decision.”

“I hope you find an answer you can be happy with,” John said as they walked through the doors.

A familiar voice greeted them as soon as they entered, coming from the room's speakers. “John! Karin! Welcome back!”

“Thanks, Vera! It’s been lonely without your constant presence surrounding me,” John said with a clever smile.

“I’ll turn off my sarcasm sensors for a while. Can you say that again?”

John chuckled. He had missed the always helpful voice. “I was being at least half honest. It’s strangely good to be back, even in this cold place.”

“I feel the same way,” Karin added, looking around the empty lobby. “But I’m even more eager to get back home. Is that fine, Vera?”

“Of course! Just take the elevator down, and you know the rest.”

Karin headed straight for the elevator, and John followed, having no reason to stay behind. The elevator opened with a ding, but one that sounded suspiciously like Vera was making the noise with her mouth. They had never made sounds before.

“You’re sounding awfully cheery, Vera,” John noted as they stepped inside.

“Well, of course! Until yesterday, I thought Karin would be the only one returning from the portal. It’s a real tragedy…”

John looked up, trying to find a camera to look at as he spoke. “There are still three of us alive, just so you know. Serah is in another world.”

“Really?! She found a portal?” Vera asked, sounding hopeful.

“... Not exactly. She was taken. And I intend to bring her back.”

Vera went quiet momentarily, perhaps sensing the weight of his words. They were spoken with determination. The elevator moved downward, taking them to their quarters.

“I bet that’s an interesting story. And a painful one. I’m sorry, John.”

He took a deep breath, folding his arms. “Thanks. I also intend to go back home for a while, but you know I’ll be back… Oh!”

John suddenly realized he hadn’t tried using the antler point since he was in Paris. It might have moved at this point, giving him a more accurate destination. He removed it from beneath his armor and infused it with essence, feeling the almost magnetic force moving it around.

“What?”

It pointed nearly straight down. And it was moving, visible to the naked eye.

“... Whatever it is, it’s inside this facility,” John concluded, feeling his pulse suddenly speed up. He had no idea what he was looking for, but it was nearby.

‘It’s most likely a person, right? Could it be… one of the other candidates? Or Captain Dirk? Or some random researcher?’

“Whatever what is?” Vera asked, sounding confused. “What is that bone?”

“... Supposedly, it has the power to guide me to whatever is most important, or something like that. I hoped it would guide me to Serah somehow, but I’m pretty sure she’s not here. So maybe it’s someone who can help me find her?”

The elevator kept descending, and the bone kept moving. The facility went deep into the ground to make sure any beast attacks wouldn’t damage the sleeping candidates or the servers holding the simulation running.

Finally, it slowed down and arrived at the floor where their rooms were located. Now, the bone was pointing horizontally.

“It’s here. Pointing towards my room?” John asked, feeling even more nervous now.

Vera spoke quietly, sensing the atmosphere, “There are other rooms in that direction, John. But I can’t pinpoint exactly where it’s pointing.”

The door opened, letting John and Karin walk into the empty hallway. John knew Karin’s room was in a different direction, but she still followed him.

“You curious, Karin?” he asked lightly, trying to calm himself. It was an obvious question, after all.

And that’s how she replied. “Of course I am! Whatever that guiding thing is, it has incredible origins.”

“Mmm, after triangulating the direction, it seems to be pointing to your room, John,” Vera interjected. “But I don’t have any logs of people entering it.”

‘... Is it pointing to…?’