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Ashes and Cinders
Helplessness and Hope

Helplessness and Hope

I had to cover my face to get the tears off. I didn’t want any of that. I pierced my mental barrier and was about to grab onto the massive fox with my Psychic mana, while she growled and whined, saying something to Junior, when I hesitated.

I know I just got myself this fancy new skill and all but… I thought for a second. My head isn’t going to explode for some reason… Is it? How was I supposed to know whether or not she wouldn’t kill me? I didn’t exactly want to risk my new life so I turned to Junior, latching the tendril onto him before I sent him the question.

“Quick question, is the Perception skill going to rid me of my lack of ability to communicate with your mom, or is that not how it works?” I asked, interrupting their verbal conversation.

He paused, looking over at me, twitching his whiskers. “The skill shouldn’t do much, but thinning the connection between both will allow for greater resistance for pure Psychic might if that's what you're asking. Less mana to travel across, less feedback.”

I stared at him and gave a nod, taking a breath and responding

“So more Psychic Perception means better resistance?” He shook his head.

“No. More experience and exposure means more resistance, or tolerance really. Finicky things.” He said blankly, refocusing on his mother. I focussed on my task, without hesitation this time. I breached my mental barrier twice, attempting to pool mana into both foxes at once.

It failed spectacularly. The moment I tried forming a connection beyond the first appendage, it fizzled into pieces and joined the rest of the ambient mana.

I was unable to keep both up at once. I frowned in confusion, a little startled by the development. I paused once again before focussing on the tendril itself. If I couldn't have two at once then I'll use one for both. Instead of piercing a second one through my mental barrier, I branched off another from the center, creating a Y shape.

The strain on my mind was instant, causing me to gasp. I held on, just about connecting to both foxes.

“-foolish! The spirit is volatile! If you continue to endanger yourself by antagonizing it, I will reprimand you!”

“But-”

“I do not want to speak of this! You are a grown-”

My connection collapsed in a heap as I found myself panting exhaustedly at the strain of holding both at once.

*Your quick thinking and willingness to innovate helps Telepathy becomes Telepathy II*

The notification startled me, causing my gaze to go blank for a second before I snapped back to attention. Both foxes were staring at me with a curious expression, clearly noticing something. Maybe they felt me using the mana on them? I questioned myself.

Junior suddenly broke away from his mother, passing towards me and placing his paw on my head, patting it twice. I guess it was supposed to be comforting or something? I could see the pride on his face so… Self-satisfaction? But after the second pat, I began to tilt backward, falling like a domino. His simple movements knocked me back in a daze, and I flopped back onto the dirt with a ‘thunk’.

He growled something at his mother in amusement and I felt her eyes bore into my form, gazing at me with a questioning scowl.

I shrunk under her gaze, trying to move away before only flopping my limbs around pathetically. Why the hell is she mad at me? What did I do?! I thought. She observed my distress with a piercing gaze, looking at me like she was about to gobble me up… Before letting out a wheezing whine that confused me for a second. It sounded like… Laughter? Mirth? Amusement? What the hell is with these foxes? I’m starting to think I’m some kind of toy…

Though Junior seemed to be just as confused, his paw brought back down slowly to the earth.

Well, maybe he knew what was going on. I winced as the mental mana broke my barrier and latched onto the small fox, scared of the hulking and whining from a couple of feet away.

“Uhhhh, hey kiddo?” he scowled. “Do you uh, have any idea what she’s laughing at?” I asked. He glanced back at me, studying my face.

“No.” He shook his head, not saying a word beyond that. I was befuddled at his single-word response. What is it with people and not giving me answers? Or, foxes in this case. Ugh. I should have asked more questions when I had the chance.

The wheezing fox was calming down as she slowly, and tentatively approached me, a smile on her face. My face twisted in frustration and helplessness, that I wiped off my face, but not before she noticed. She cocked her head at me, like she was expecting me to do, or say something. I didn’t.

She leaned down, her nose touching mine, over my prone form. The moment she did, a connection established, a sudden spike in ambient mental mana wormed its way into her flesh, through her veins, and touched upon my barrier, breaching it with the sheer force equivalent to a battering ram. I winced visibility and tried not to cry again.

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“You.” The same voice gonged into my head, causing me to barely restrain crying out.

“Are the strangest little spirit.” She fluttered her nose as the wind caressed my cheeks, soon picking me up, and set me upright in a more… Dignified manner. If you could even call it that. “I have ever laid my eyes upon. Then again, you're also the only one I've ever known.”

Her cheerful voice surprised me, lacking the bite and ruthless tone it had before. She almost sounded like a more regal version of fun-size, though, I quickly diminished the Idea as blasphemy, lest she somehow senses it, and burst my eardrums.

I didn’t respond, staring at her, half of me hoping she would go away, the other half wondering if she could get me a quality baby wrapping to go with the nice bed.

We stared for a time, me looking away after a couple of seconds to focus on the grass, the ground, the clouds, just not her damn silver eyes.

When the silence prevailed, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a tiny fox, sneaking around the corner, rear-end pointing up to the sky.

He was using me as a distraction, that much was clear. I stared openly at the pouncing fun size. Viralya caught my surprised gaze and turned to look at him. She had just begun to move and get out of the way, but it was far too late. A small form landed onto her side, tail twitching playfully, a smile on his face.

The two foxes blurred as the wind picked up. My mental connection to Viralya severed itself, making me reel back. I winced and looked back up.

Fun size was hanging on for dear life, weaving in and out of trees, going in circles around me. I stared, opened mouthed at the display of speed and magic. Currents of Wind mana flew in every direction, making up a tapestry beyond anything I had ever witnessed. It was random, disorderly, and absolutely stunning. I glimpsed flickers of air, dancing around in the open space, twirling around playfully.

A gust tickled the back of my ears as a foxy scream whizzed by my ear. Completely ignoring fun size, I studied the wind around me, reached out, and grabbed the stuff.

It slipped straight through my fingers, dancing around them as I felt a gust of wind tickle my nostrils, prompting a sneeze. The wind seemed to giggle for a second and it faded beyond my grasp. Uhhhhhh… I wondered if I had just angered the wind mana, maybe amused it? Ugh. More evidence I'm a glorified boy toy. I shook my head and focussed on the wind mana, really trying to see it with mana sense.

I studied it, watching the trickles of mana flow through the earth, air, and greenery. The complexity, the patterns, the endless movement in a dance I couldn’t describe. I thrust my hands out, twisting them around, curling my fingers as I pulled.

The mana responded and rushed in my face. I hadn’t really planned this far. The mana swirled around my head, parting before it like a rock in a river. I felt nothing as it poured in the opposite direction. It intertwined with itself, before sinking into the earth like a snake in a burrow.

I sighed, glancing about me, and shook my head. Alright. No more playing with forces I don’t understand.

I sucked in a breath through my nonexistent teeth, in a tsk sound.

Looking towards the red blurs again, dancing on a whim. I smiled, feeling some of my tension and anxiety from being thrown about like a rag doll burn away.

I Blinked and Viralya stood before me again, fur not even ruffled, except for two paw marks on her side. I swear I could hear the chattering of little fox teeth as Viralya huffed at her child. He just looked shaken and disheveled as he fell off her side in a thwomp, bits of frozen fur stuck to his claws.

He didn’t utter a sound, huffs of breath coming and going quickly. I looked back to Viralya who looked at me with a smirk, her tail flicking back and forth, fangs bared. She came up to me once again, not even glancing at the young fox behind her, and touched my forehead, banging on my mind. It gave quickly and her thoughts flooded into mine, seamlessly continuing the conversation like it was nothing.

“As I was saying, you are strange beyond comparison. I had my doubts, even as I pledged to raise you-” I squirmed at that, still uncomfortable by the thought. “-but you reassured me. I watched you get plowed down by that rascal of a fox, not once, not twice, but thrice. You didn’t burst into rage, you didn’t fall victim to your desires, and your mana has only gone out of control once. That is remarkable for a being such as yourself, yet I will save my words, knowing you still haven’t got a clue as to this world.” She winked.

“I had assumed you were already gone, hiding behind a mask cunningly, but your actions have proved otherwise. I understand the shock of a new body so suddenly, but rest assured I will not make the same mistake again.” She inclined her head.

My eyes looked into her own, revealing a mixture of excitement, shame, and hope whirling in a mass of silver. I digested her words as she waited for me to speak.

So far, I had been stumbling in the dark, entirely ignorant and panicked to the world around me, just reacting from one scenario to the next. I mulled over myself, my emotions and thoughts in turmoil. I guess she could sense it as she blew on my face, her breath smelling of autumn leaves and old oak.

Also, I was pretty surprised. I had never expected a fox to apologize for being mean to me, but hey, what can you do?

“I can tell you have suffered, and no, I do not wish to cast pity. I can tell you have suffered in a sense of ignorance, constraining yourself to only yourself, never tasting what was beyond, and you died in, to put it lightly, unsatisfactory terms. I cannot but help but see and reflect upon that-” She nodded to her own cub. “-as I was reminded of a certain bumbling pup, wandering into my cave with nothing to call their own.”

“Wait, fun-size over there is an Orphan? But…”

She gave a foxy chuckle again. “Fun size, hmm? That is certainly an interesting nickname. Nevertheless…” She shook her head. “You remind me much of him. As well as many other young beasts that have come my way. Maybe such is a weakness of mine, carrying children of those who have gone, and giving them the tools to power. Although, I have never had a human student before.”

She smiled at me mentally, her fangs not seeming quite so scary.

“I shall mentor you, just as I mentor him. By this, I swear.” The winds rose, picking up in a small gale, whispering in my ear. My mind froze for a second before excitement and anticipation ripped through me.

“Does that mean I can learn to do magic like you? Can I throw fireballs and call down bolts of lighting like a wizard or sorcerer?!” I erupted in her mind.

She smiled at me. “Most likely not.” She dashed my hopes. “But…” The carrot dangled. “I can learn to show you what you can do. I can open the doorway to mana and show you what your own strength can accomplish. Feats of legend unique to you and you only.”

I gaped at her, excitement coursing through my body once more as she smiled. Thoughts of conjuring tacos and pizza, leaping across the stars, and wonders past my imagination went wild.

I looked to the dissipating air mana, fantasizing about harnessing its power.

This is going to be awesome.