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Chapter 58 - Embrace of the Past

"My boy," Tunklard said with a smile, crossing the distance between them in a few strides. Before Gabriel knew it, he was enveloped in a deep hug. The familiar scent of herbs and ink clung to Tunklard’s robes, grounding Gabriel in a reality he feared he’d never see again. His body went limp as he tried to reconcile the gentle touch of his teacher with the heavy weight of disbelief that weighed him down.

“It’s so good to see you,” Tunklard whispered, jolting him back to the present. Gabriel returned the hug, squeezing tightly, feeling Tunklard’s wiry frame. Afraid to let go.

"You’ve grown bigger, lad. Maybe don’t squeeze as hard," Tunklard said with a laugh.

Gabriel released him, his smile uncharacteristically reaching his eyes. "Tunk! It’s so good to see you."

His tutor chuckled ruefully, the old nickname still holding its power. "It's good to see you too, Gabriel."

Gabriel, not Orion. Hearing his name spoken aloud was like a bell ushering his true self. I’m not a nameless boy anymore. I don’t need to pretend to be someone else.

"How are you here?" Gabriel asked, his eyes roving Tunklard’s form.

The man lowered himself into the plush chair, gesturing for Gabriel to do the same. “I’ve travelled through each of the four kingdoms, experienced all that Valandor has to offer. When I had to leave Accamania, I knew that this was the best place for me. Fortunately, I was able to make a good impression and earn the opportunity to tutor the young princesses.”

“I’m sorry, it was all my fault you had to go.” Gabriel looked down, unable to look in his friend’s eyes. The weight of self-recrimination holding him like an anchor to the shore. “If I hadn’t argued with the king that day, if I hadn’t mentioned you, then maybe you never would have left.”

Gabriel felt the subtle touch of Tunklard’s finger lifting his chin, forcing him to look up at his teacher. “It wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself. It worked out for the best; we would never have been able to be here together otherwise.”

Gabriel only nodded at that, not quite believing the words. Reaching across the table again, Tunklard grasped Gabriel’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Gabriel. I’m truly sorry.”

Gabriel kept strong, holding back the tidal wave of emotions with a wall built by the sorrows he had endured. He again merely nodded in response.

“I deeply cared for your family. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I’m sorry too.” Gabriel tried to release his hand.

“Tell me, Gabriel. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.” Tunklard wrinkled hand, held Gabriel’s firmly. “Tell me everything.”

Gabriel had spent so long on the run, and even here and now, speaking with the king and his minister, he was still running. No one knew him from before. No one could truly understand who he was. Who he had been. The impenetrable wall started to crack, then instantly shattered.

“I blamed myself for so long. Thinking I was the one who caused this. That my actions led to my family being murdered before my eyes. But it wasn’t me. It was never me. It was Carnahy.” Gabriel’s fist tightened.

Gabriel spoke with fury and regret, recounting everything from stolen grains to the night of blood. The bittersweet reconciliation with his now dead brother, and his mad escape on the darkest of nights. The deadly forest that gave way to him joining the Balatian army and the battle that ensued. The sleepless nights and the dreams that haunted him. He revealed everything but one secret—one that only an old witch knew for now. Throughout it all, Tunklard remained silent, listening intently. Only his dark eyes conveyed his emotions: the drawn closure of his eyelids, the rapid blinks, the eye contact, and the lack of it. Each subtle movement of his eyes spoke more than words ever could, as Gabriel’s cathartic release unfolded.

By the end, Gabriel's voice had turned husky. He couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken so many words. Then again, he hadn’t had his friend, but now he did.

Tunklard spoke no words of pity. When he finally did speak, it was with a surety Gabriel had rarely seen in him. “Whatever life brings, I will always be there for you. I will follow you, lad, to the end of Valandor. Speak the words, and if you wish to go somewhere else, I will go. From now until my last breath, I will always be there.”

“Thank you, Tunklard. Thank you.”

The wizened man displayed a rare show of emotion, a gentle tear escaping from his eye. “So, what now?”

Gabriel leaned forward in his chair, his body weight resting against the timber table. “They will try to wed Sarah when she comes of age. That won’t be happening.”

Tunklard’s brows furrowed, his wrinkles even more pronounced. “And how will you be stopping it?”

“I’m going to kill Carnahy. I’m going to kill everyone who stands in my way.”

“So, it’s revenge that drives you?” Tunklard asked quietly, his shoulders drooping.

Gabriel only nodded, his resolve firm. They will die, but not before they suffer like I did.

Tunklard stood from his chair, moving around the table to kneel on his old knees. Gabriel heard the click of the man’s legs as he adjusted himself to be beside his chair. He placed his hand on Gabriel’s leg. “Death begets death. I’ve taught you that much. Your mother would not want this for you.”

“I loved my mother with all my heart, but even I do not know what she wanted for me. Her words and her actions contradict each other. She understood violence. I saw that with my very eyes. Her spoken words of peace were shattered when she used her daggers to protect me. She sent me here, to the most violent kingdom in Valandor. I know that she would want me to fight. If I don’t do this, if I can’t free my sister, then I could never live with myself. I might as well have died with her that night.”

“And you think she wanted you to go on a murder spree? No, she wouldn’t. Your mother was strong and believed in justice. Fight with every fiber of your being, but fight for a cause, not for revenge. Seek justice, not vengeance.”

“There is no justice for kings. This world is not fair, that much you taught me,” Gabriel said, throwing his mentor’s words back at him. “I will have my revenge.”

Something seemed to pass in Tunklard’s eyes. Gabriel thought it was his teacher seeing him in a new light, merging the youth he taught with the soldier he had become. And just like that, the indecisiveness in Tunklard’s eyes passed.

“My words were not hollow. I’ll be with you every step of the way. Maybe in time you will see the light and move away from your path of darkness. The lust for vengeance is intoxicating and all-encompassing, leaving you as nothing but a husk of your former self. Live for more. Fight for more, Gabriel.”

He felt guilt as Tunklard’s eyes bore into his own. He wanted to squirm into himself, the shadows of his shame seeking to hide within his very being. The pleas of the dead, the faces of those he lost. Nothing could banish the crimson river that flowed and filled his soul.

“I was nothing but a naive child, thinking my hatred of violence would protect me from it. How wrong I was…”

“I failed you,” Tunk whispered.

“I don’t want this, Tunk,” Gabriel said with a shudder. “You know me. I’ve never wanted this. But I must be what I’ve always hated. I have to give in to the blood. Become who I was born to be, rather than who I dreamed to be. My sister needs to be saved and my people. Carnahy is a usurper. Someone willing to kill for the throne will never be a good monarch. As we speak, he is probably cowing my people with fear, killing dissenters. I need to protect her. I need to protect them all.”

Gabriel took a long breath, his heart steadying, knowing that this was his path. “I will live side by side with violence and die with it. This is my fate, and what I deserve.”

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A long silence followed, Tunklard clearly wanting to interject, but something made him pause.

Tunk stood, the crack in his knees betraying him. “I will teach you.”

Gabriel raised a quizzical brow.

Tunklard collected himself. “I wasn’t always a teacher for the nobility. I lived a different life. I won’t go into it now, but one day I will.”

Gabriel only nodded, unsure if Tunk could really teach him anything about fighting. The man was obviously past his prime. But Gabriel had always thought there was more to the man’s scarred visage.

The door opened, and Gabriel saw the Spider languidly move in. Tunklard's voice dropped to a low whisper, urgent but steady. “I will teach you how to control the violence rather than let it control you. I’ll meet you here next week. You’ll learn how to move from the past and look only to the future.”

The Spider's sneer silently beckoned Tunk to leave, cutting off any further questions. Tunklard extended his hand, and Gabriel grasped it as if it were a lifeline. “Next week,” Tunklard repeated with a reassuring smile.

As he let go of the man’s hand, he felt one of Tunk’s rings scrape against his skin. Gabriel glanced down, his eyes catching on something familiar. A cufflink, not just any cufflink, but one made from the darkest metal that he knew all too well. His breath caught in his throat as his mind reeled with the implications.

Gabriel’s eyes widened as he looked back up at Tunklard. The old man’s scarred visage, the deep lines of age and wisdom, took on a new meaning. Gabriel’s heart pounded, the realization hitting him like a thunderclap. Tunklard didn’t need to tell Gabriel of his past, because now he knew. The ever-wise teacher had always been a warrior monk.

He watched his mentor walk away, each step a reminder of the hidden depths of the man who had always been more than he seemed.

Gabriel’s mind swirled with memories of their time together, the lessons learned, the stories shared. He could almost hear Tunklard's voice in his mind, filled with wisdom and patience. It was comforting to know that despite the secrets, Tunklard had always been a guiding light in his life.

Oddly, Gabriel didn't feel any betrayal at his teacher's silence regarding his past. It was as if Tunklard's hidden identity only added another layer of depth to the man he respected. Then again, it would be hypocritical of him if he did. Gabriel had his own secrets, his own burdens to bear. He mused that he might finally have someone he could trust, someone he could be open with, unlike the old witch, whose motives were still unclear. The idea of having an ally, someone who understood the weight of his responsibilities and the darkness of his past, was a solace he hadn't expected. Gabriel felt a flicker of hope, believing that with Tunklard’s help, he could navigate the treacherous path ahead.

"Are you listening to me?" the Spider asked, his voice cutting through Gabriel’s thoughts.

Gabriel hadn't heard a word the man had been saying, so preoccupied with his own reflections. "Of course, please continue," Gabriel responded smoothly.

"As I was saying, upon entering the room, you must salute the king in the military style and then do the same for the queen. You are not to speak before they do, and you must speak with respect in all instances to the prince and princesses." The Spider took a breath, drawing himself up as if the entire speech were beneath him. "Is that all clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now follow me." Jacob ushered Gabriel to follow.

Gabriel should have felt nervous as he followed the man; after all, he was about to meet the royal family together for the first time. But after everything he had been through, it almost seemed trivial. His place was here now, and he felt strengthened by the thought that he was not alone. The memory of Tunk brought a smile to his face. I'm home.

Jacob led him through a winding corridor, and Gabriel silently followed. It wasn’t long before the man thrice rapped his fist against a door. The man spider pushed the door open and beckoned Gabriel to enter.

He pushed his shoulders back and stepped into the room with every ounce of confidence he could muster. Seated around a large round table were the king and queen. He saw other faces, but his focus remained on the monarchs ahead. He saluted the king first and then the queen, keeping his eyes down until they addressed him.

He let out a breath. In, out, in, out. Whilst he didn’t feel the nerves initially, now that he was here, he found the need to center himself. To remove the distractions that lingered.

Queen Isa spoke first, her voice warm yet commanding. “Welcome, Orion. It is good to have you here. Your presence is welcome at our supper.”

Gabriel released his salute. “My thanks, Queen.”

The room was grand, filled with the subtle opulence befitting Balatian royalty. The air was thick with the scent of polished wood, mingling with the faint aroma of incense. Every detail seemed to demand respect, from the richly embroidered tapestries to the intricate carvings on the wooden beams overhead.

He surveyed the rest of the table before he took his seat. Two girls and a young man filled the remaining seats against the wooden-grained table that sat beneath a chandelier. “Prince Aluban, Princesses Adriella and Casena, it is my honor to make your royal acquaintance.”

Gabriel took his seat. To his right sat Aluban, and to his left, the youngest princess, Casena, who appeared a few years younger than him.

“I hear that you’re at the academy,” Aluban said.

“I am Prince Aluban. The academy is better than I could have ever dreamed.”

“Call me Aluban. Everyone knows I’m not one for titles that I haven’t earned.”

“Of course, Aluban,” Gabriel said with a smile, already liking the prince. His muscles were evidently taut beneath his shirt, and he cut a striking figure. Gabriel couldn’t help but think that this was what the king must have looked like in his youth. Deep blue eyes, a sharp and squared jawline, with the beginnings of a long beard that was meticulously oiled.

The young man let out a boisterous laugh. “That’s better. I graduated three years ago. Every warrior wants to train there for a reason.”

Gabriel nodded and was about to add to the conversation when the elder princess, Adriella, cut in. “Why is he here?”

“Adriella,” her mother chided gently. “Orion is our guest and will be our guest for the foreseeable future.”

The princess's hair cascaded in brunette braids, parting from the center and draping against her back, echoing the queen's style. However, the similarities between mother and daughter ended there. Unlike the queen's golden locks, Adriella's tresses were a deep chestnut. Her bronzed skin contrasted with her mother's pale complexion, and her youthful countenance featured rounder features. He couldn't help but notice the princess rolling her dark brown eyes.

“His father was a friend of mine, and he no longer has any family to look after him,” the king added.

Gabriel saw the princess’s expression soften slightly, but then, as if she remembered herself, she let out a scoff. Although he found her incredibly beautiful, he was not looking forward to spending time with her.

“Oh, that’s so sad!” Casena said in a high-pitched voice. “Well, you can always spend time with us.” She finished with a smile.

“My thanks, you are a true princess,” he said with a slight bow to Casena, before making sure to look Adriella square in the eyes, ensuring his words carried his intent.

“He has a backbone,” Aluban laughed.

“We’ll see how long that lasts at the academy,” Adriella retorted.

“He has already served under Commander Galland. The soldiers even call him Little Wolf. Being a warrior is in his blood,” the king said. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he was referring to his mother’s or his father’s blood.

The name Galland seemed to stir reactions around the table. Adriella perked up, while Aluban showed some restraint in his features. “Galland is a commendable commander. You must have done well to be named so favorably,” the prince said.

Gabriel shared a detailed account of his experiences under Commander Galland, recounting the battle between the peak hills and the village that demanded retribution. The mood at the table turned somber as he recounted the sacrifices and struggles faced in the heat of battle. War had become a familiar companion, shaping him in ways he never could have imagined.

“And that’s how I undeservingly earned the name Little Wolf from the soldiers,” he concluded.

The dinner continued for another hour, with sporadic questions probing into his past and his fabricated parentage. Gabriel recounted his false identity with practiced ease, the lie now so ingrained in his narrative that it felt like a part of him.

He was no longer an Accamanian, no longer a prince. Shedding his root, Gabriel embraced a new identity, one forged partly by figment but also in the crucible of his experiences. As he spoke, he felt a mix of relief and sadness, knowing that this facade was necessary yet also a barrier to his true self.

Judging by the youngest Princess Casena’s adoring eyes, Aluban’s respectful demeanor, and Adriella’s thoughtful silence, he knew he had made an impression. Each reaction spoke volumes, offering him a glimpse into the dynamics of the royal family and their perception of him. Despite the weight of his deception, Gabriel couldn't help but feel a glimmer of acceptance in their eyes, a flicker of understanding amidst the sea of uncertainties that surrounded him.

After a long silence, the king spoke. “Orion will be joining us in the castle on his free days when he’s not required at the academy.”

The statement ratified his own perspective. He had done well. He didn’t mind the dinner; it wasn’t as stuffy as it was in Accamania. There were still customs to adhere to, but they didn’t stifle him. He wasn’t sure if it was due to the cultural norms or if he himself had changed.

“Your Majesties,” Gabriel looked at both the king and queen, “It has been an immense honor to share your bread and drink your wine.” The last statement was a lie; the mulled wine he tried was a mission to force down. “I look forward to sharing your table in the days to come.” Gabriel then turned to the prince. “It was an honor getting to know you. I hope to learn your warrior ways, Aluban. Mayhap one day you may grace me with a spar.” Gabriel was laying it on a little thick, but this was how one spoke with nobility; he knew that firsthand.

Aluban sat a little straighter in his chair. “I’ll gladly help you with a spar.”

Then Gabriel turned to the princesses. “Thank you both for being so gracious, Adriella and Casena. I look forward to getting to know you better.” The quick glance at Adriella belied his words.

Casena chirped and shared her agreement. In contrast, Adriella's gaze felt more calculating as she looked at him, almost as if she were sizing him up. Clearing her throat, she corrected him. "It's Princess Adriella."

“Adriella!” the queen chided again.

“Of course, Princess Adriella,” Gabriel said with a fake smile.

With a courteous nod, he excused himself from the table and made his way back to the academy. The day had been eventful, leaving him in need of some time to reflect. Tomorrow would bring the familiar comfort of training, a welcome respite from the complexities of his new life.