A new god arose, devoid of anything but a blue ball of soundless, sparking energy, floating above an endless, still sea and a self-illuminated scarlet sky. Not far away, the arisen god saw a beautiful being facing him—tall, shoulders so wide it made his body resemble a banyan tree, such smooth fair skin that dust fell off as though it were giving its regards, legs longer than his upper body, medium-length parted blinding blonde hair, a thick neck, predatory dark eyebrows, deep-set light blue eyes, an uncurved forehead, big pink lips, a chiseled jaw, high-set cheekbones, an arching slim nose, and overall, a fine face.
In front of him, the arisen god saw letters of black fire appear; they showed: God of Death, God of Wealth, God of Magic, God of War, God of Love, and God of Desire, each disappearing after a few moments.
“What powers would you like to have and what kind of god do you desire to be?”
What is this place? Why do I have these… things, these words for all that I see? What is this cold feeling—this not belongingness? What was it he said? I forgot all but the last two.
“Were those my options?”
The being nodded.
“What was it? God of Love and God of Desire? What’s even the difference?”
“An interesting question,” he said. “Victory over lesser beings. Victory over those with unfulfilled desires. Such is the difference.”
This place looks and feels wrong—false. It isn’t ominous, though it is, in a way. Is this even real? That… being’s non-answering only makes it creepy.
“That sounds unclear.”
He let out a lulling laugh. “Knowing everything wouldn’t be as fun, would it?”
Not one day and now he has likened me to a pet that entertains him? Charming.
“The remainder?”
“Obliteration. Despoilation. God of Death—God of War. God of Wealth—bound only by his greed. God of Magic—dwells in thaumaturgic potency.”
“Bound only by his greed, you say? Then what about the others? What are they bound by?”
“Themselves and many other things, clearly.”
As useful as I expected.
“You seem to be enjoying this rather much.”
“Why, a rejoicing moment it is to see your children choose their path, and I have high hopes for you.”
Children? Path? I don’t understand. It hurts. More reason to choose quickly so it all ends.
“What do you suggest?”
“I have found it’s better to let my children earn their power instead of giving it all from the beginning,” he said. “And so, I leave it to you, newborn.”
“I can’t comprehend about the others, but wealth is wealth, so God of Wealth, it is.”
“I see—interesting choice.”
“I simply will wealth into existence, do I not?”
“You will find out soon.”
Letters of black fire appeared in a line, though this time, they didn’t disappear: Body Types: Human, Draconic, Aquatic, Avian, Feline, Orc, Elven, Canine, Fae, and Serpent.
“There you go—your options.”
Even though I’ve never seen elves, orcs, etc., I can imagine them. Useful, unlike somebody.
“Overwhelming options. Can’t you tell me more?”
Hope he’s useful this time.
“A human body, which I have, is the most common type of body gods and goddesses choose, as it’s an all-rounder, but most importantly, it’s the most pleasing to look at, which is why most gods and goddesses have this body type,” he said. “Fitting, I would say.”
“Aren’t you the one who created all the gods and goddesses?”
“True—I let them choose, and some honored me by choosing a human body type, and others chose otherwise, which they found better suited to their tastes, and while it is technically true that I am the Father of All Things, that doesn’t mean I simply willed every god and goddess into existence—there’s another way, which you will find out soon enough—a more delightful way.”
“I see.”
He’s clearly not telling everything. He’s clearly not lying. He’s clearly unclear. My head is starting to hurt again, even though I have no body. Can’t imagine how much more if I do get a corporeal form.
“Now onto the next—the description.”
The arrangement of the black flames changed; they showed: Human: Human. Draconic—Humanoid, Leather Dragon Wings on the Back, Optional Straight or Curved Horns. Aquatic: Humanoid, Gills on the Neck and Chest, Webbed Hands and Feet, Optional Lizard Tail. Avian: Humanoid, Feather Wings on the Back. Feline: Humanoid, Cat Ears and Tail, Popular with Goddesses. Orc: Humanoid, If Male, Equine Penis, If Female, Increased Natural Muscle Definition. Elven: Humanoid, Variable Ears. Canine: Humanoid, Dog Ears and Tail, Never Chosen. Fae: Humanoid, Glowing Bodies at Night, Color Depends, Variable Butterfly Wings, Hidden or Otherwise. Serpent: Humanoid, Half-Serpent Transformation.
The human section says human only. How insightful. Like creator, like creation. Brilliant. These are merely physical descriptions with no more appends. Useless. Infuriating. Human seems to be the obvious choice, it being listed first and other superficial but important reasons, I suppose.
“I choose to have a human body type.”
“Best choice—I won’t say why. Now then, on to the next part.”
The flames disappeared and reappeared, this time changing their color to vibrant red; they showed: Skin Color: Black, Dark Brown, Brown, Olive, Light Brown, Green, Blue, Red, Orange, Fair, or Pale.
This feels equally important as the previous choices. I wonder why.
“Are there advantages and drawbacks to choosing a specific skin color?”
“There are—for example, if you choose blue, you will stand out in every human city and village—people will be hostile—untrusting.”
“Do you have any suggestions, then, or will you say nothing because it’s more fun that way?”
“Well, you are the first blessed child I willed into existence since a long time—I will give you a hint—go with grace.”
Go with grace? Feels as though he’s saying choose the fairer ones only—of which, there are merely two. But why? And why do I feel like he’s genuinely trying to help me? He knows something I don’t? Frustrating.
“Fair. And I would appreciate a detailed description of the benefits and drawbacks of each skin color.”
“Then you shall have it.”
The red flames reverted to black; they showed: Black: Extreme Discrimination, Not Recommended, Chance for Copulation Decreased in Certain Cities, with Few Exceptions, Mainly Large Penis, Physical Aesthetics, and Height Being Main Attractors, Some Blonde Goddesses’ Preference for Partners. Dark Brown: Harrowing Discrimination, Recommended for Masochists Only, Chance for Copulation Decreased Everywhere, with Few Exceptions, Mainly Height and Physical Aesthetics Being Main Attractors, Some Blonde Goddesses’ Preference for Partners. Brown: Poor Choice, Disgusting to Most. Olive: Recommended Only for Goddesses Opting for Certain Aesthetics, Some Rich Gods’ Preference for Sexual Purposes. Light Brown: Recommended for Sex Slaves, Male or Female. Green: Recommended for Serpent Types Only, Not Recommended Otherwise. Olive: Recommended for Goddesses Opting for Certain Aesthetics, If Male, Use Caution, You Have Been Warned. Blue: Recommended Only for Aquatics, Extreme Discrimination in Human Settlements. Red: Only for God of Intimidation Type. Orange: Feared, Only Recommended for God of War Type. Fair: Recommended for Males, If Female, Recommended for True Introverts Only. Pale: Recommended for Females, Excessive Beauty May Lead to Broken Hearts or Worse, If Male, for Submissive Type Only.
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Wow, talk about fun. Interesting. Soul-sucking. Well, this seems slightly more useful.
“Wait, God of Intimidation?”
“Ah, yes, I didn’t list out everything, as it would have overwhelmed you.”
“If there is a God of Intimidation, then there is also a God of Wisdom, correct?”
“One doesn’t necessitate the other, but yes, there is a God of Wisdom, but a budding God of Wisdom is not omniscient.”
“Then why the name? And are you omniscient?”
“There are better and far more enlightening ways to get the answers.”
“All right.”
Yeah, I am merely a plaything. I understand.
“Having an orange skin color leads to discrimination, but not the usual kind. People fear you—respect you. It’s a reverential fear of the inevitable of all mortals—death itself. There are far more orange-skinned gods and goddesses than there are red-skinned gods and goddesses, and the reason is, I believe, beauty. Orange-skinned goddesses are far easier to look at than red ones. When you see an orange-skinned god or goddess, remember, they are hot like a volcano—the anger, not attractiveness. Best to avoid them, even if you wish to woo them.”
Sudden—but helpful. All right with me.
“Are they like that from the beginning or—”
“They tend to become like that quite soon.”
“Is there a reason?”
He grinned.
“I thought as much.”
When can I leave? Insufferable. No expletives would ever explain it.
“Now on to the most favorable skin colors—fair and pale. If you are fair-skinned, people will admire you everywhere, even in underwater cities, believe it or not, and you may even find that people are extra nice to you, respectful towards you, and understanding towards you. Why? Beauty. Do not underestimate the power of beauty. On the other hand, pale skin is the gold standard for female beauty, which is why many goddesses are pale skinned. Major goddesses have pale skin, and they are far more relevant in human areas compared to goddesses with other skin colors, except fair skin. Beauty… is biased.”
Sounds like superficial sacrilege. But I feel like I agree. Something primal within me tells me so.
“Other options?”
The flames disappeared, and in their place, drops of blood out of nowhere took place; they showed: Hair Color: Black, Dark Brown, Brown, Auburn, Red, Strawberry Blonde, Dark Blonde, Blonde, Purple, Pink, Silver, or White.
Disgusting smell. Is that what they call blood? Appetizing. Wonder why the sudden change.
“Black hair is the commonest, but it can be exceptionally eye-catching when it's blue-black. Dark brown hair is less common than black hair. Brown hair is more desired than the usual black hair amongst humans. Auburn hair is eye-catching, but you must be a woman. Red hair is the same. Strawberry blonde hair—the fetish hair color some gods prefer their woman to have. Dark blonde hair—the underrated hair color. Blonde—the gentleman’s choice. Purple—for the dark and mysterious. Pink—for fun. Silver—for elven exuberance. White—for looking old or bold, depending on how mentally impaired you are.”
“No mentions of drawbacks or advantages?”
He smiled. “For fun.”
“I choose brown.”
“Excellent, but that’ll depend on your next choice.”
“May I ask why?”
“You’ll see soon. Now then, let’s talk about arguably one of the most niche yet important things to have right—eye color. So, what will you choose?”
The drops of blood turned black; they showed: Dark Brown, Light Brown, Hazel, Green, Blue, Amber, Red, Silver, and Gray.
“The best choice will depend on what you’ve previously chosen.”
“This is making me feel anxious.”
“It should—part of the fun.”
Your fun, of course. What should I choose? I feel like I should choose based on how it will appear. For some reason, I feel inclined to…
“All right, then. I choose green.”
“You’ve chosen well.”
Is that right? Oh, how I would like to know.
“Now choose your build.”
The drops of black blood changed into transparent liquid; they showed: Build: Slim, Average, Toned, or Muscular.
“Slim—chosen by most goddesses for aesthetic. Average—never chosen, so it loses its meaning. Toned—the most popular choice of gods. Muscular—not chosen, as it tends to attract gods, not goddesses, unsurprisingly.”
The changes of the texts seem so random. Fitting, I guess, seeing as how their master is of like kind. Toned sounds like the one being endorsed—I will choose it.
“Toned, it is.”
“Now back to the hair.”
The liquid disappeared, and again, black flames took over; they showed: Hair Length: Long, Short, or Medium.
“Most goddesses, especially those with a human body type, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, choose long or medium, and no goddess has ever chosen the remaining option, unsurprisingly.”
Though I know nothing of philosophy, the Middle Way is surely sometimes the way to go, but it has long lost its original meaning. How do I even know this? Are these old memories surfacing? Not now.
“Medium sounds the best.”
“Agreed—for males.”
Another safe choice. Luck—the most important thing in this disgusting world. At least that’s what my gut feels. This learning of words and then feeling as though they were merely being unlocked—makes my head hurt.
“Other options?”
“No. I would have, though, if you chose to be a goddess—breasts and buttocks.”
“I’m glad I didn’t.”
That would have been disastrous, almost soul-crushing to the point where I would consider suicide or self-obliteration as an option. Glad I didn’t. Something inside me is deeply relieved because of that. But what? That remains unknown. So close—yet so far.
“So, what now?”
“I gave you a power most gods and goddesses lack—the ability to know others’ true desires. Consider it a parting gift.”
Finally, something truly useful. I have changed my mind. He’s good—until he isn’t, of course.
“Anything else?”
“You’ll see soon.”
“So, this is it? I feel… sad.”
“All my children felt that way when they were like you. Surely, they were sad at the fact they will no longer see me, their father, for a long time or even never.”
Well, that makes me the exception. I was only jesting, and it was a feeling of peace, not sadness, but he believed me all too easily. Tells me he’s not as cautious as I thought. Father, though? I need more information before I consider that.
“I have had many children who I never saw again because they were killed by my other children or something else.”
“Wait, I can die?”
“In many ways.”
“Aren’t I supposed to be a god?”
“So? Gods die. Even you may die if you practice not caution. But us deities are free from death due to old age, but we may die, killed by things.”
“And those things are? Forget it. You won’t tell me anyway.”
Both paused for a while.
“If you are the Father of All Things, why create things that could kill you and your kind?”
I won’t point out how that’s not… smart or healthy.
“All answers in good time, child.”
Seriously, how annoying can one be?
“I still don’t know your name.”
“You may recognize it better later. It’s Servantus.”
“And mine? Or do I choose it myself?”
“You can, if you want—however, your name shall be Nero, the God Blessed by Roses.”
“What does that mean?”
“Aesthetics.”
“I don’t get it.”
He and I have been static all this time, mostly. But the end is near. And I don’t feel fascinated—I wonder why.
“Let not your enemies outpower you. Be strong so you may conquer your enemies, and if you aren’t, you may even be fucked by them.” Servantus laughed.
“Any particular reason you are cracking up at the last part?”
“And if you fuck well, then you may do so.”
Of course, he simply ignores me.
“Let the world teach its ways to you. Learn. Understand. Know. Attain. I will watch your steps with high interest, Nero, my child. But the time has come.”
No sooner had he said that than Nero vanished and materialized in an old, decrepit shrine, filled with vines, dirt, and broken marble floors, with a white ceiling that had floral patterns, though a shell of its former self.