Author note: I'll be dealing with controversial/taboo topics in this series, so be sure to read with an open mind~

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Despair is the ultimate way to dive nose first into regrets.

Regrets themselves are the best way for someone to value both life and set goals for him or herself.

For example, a workaholic who’s never at home one evening returns home tired, only to find his warm wife and loving daughter gone. He doesn’t feel anything at first, but then after a few hours, worry attacks his heart like a bunch of ants. Then, a little bit of a despair seed is implanted within his mind. “What if she is seeing another man?” “What if she kidnapped our daughter and truly isn’t planning on returning?”

Simply put, the What ifs start appearing.

After that comes in the regret phase, “Is it because of my work?” “If she returns...I’m going to work less and pay more attention to them.” “Why do I even work so hard for? Is it to buy my daughter things? Who cares about those, my love will be enough.”

And as simple as that, he becomes knowledgeable about his problem, faces it head first, and finally ties the knot with a smile.

That is the moral of the story above. And just for fun’s sake, the wife was cheating and left the guy to rot alone.

Oh well, life is harsh. You begin understanding your faults, and your wife and daughter leave you.

You gain some and you lose some, mate.

Knock, knock, knock!

“Hmm. I can’t get the door at the moment, I’m in the middle of something!”

Knock, knock, knock!!

“Ugh, I said I can’t get it! Who the hell locked the door? ...Oh, right, I did that when that burglar woman tried to steal my things yesterday...”

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!

“Patient #1!!! Can you please answer the door~? I’m in the middle of cooking us lunch~ Heck, I’m make your favorite meat-in-a-bowl here. So hurry the hell up and open the door for me, will you?”

Argh. Can’t you use a little bit of your super magic and close the hole? Why go through collecting wood and everything to begin with.  

...Oh right, I was the one who complained that I wanted the flooring to be smooth. With magic, the wood would be too hard for the comfort of my feet...

Well, whatever. That gorilla of a woman knows how to build a hut on her own, so how hard can it be for her to close up a hole she, herself, opened?

And just like that, the barbaric woman led a handsome, blue haired, purple eyed young man.

I seriously envy these immortals.

Why?

They can’t gain weight at all...

Well, all except for women. Even when I say ‘women’, what I mean is just...well, their jugs if I were to put vulgarly.

For example, my older sister boasted the biggest breast I’ve ever seen in a woman, while the barbaric woman’s pitiful breasts were small yet firm.

I smiled as I made eye contact with the blue haired immortal guest, while the guest’s eyes themselves began to glitter.

He released a smile, and jumped at me.

“Eh?”

Me, not understanding anything, couldn’t react in time.

These immortals have far more muscle power than myself. For example, the barbaric woman could break through walls and crush stones to dust. Of course, all of my equipment were ready for super-mortal strength, so you needn’t worry about that at all.

The blue haired immortal reached an arm length from me in an instant, and then threw a punch straight at my face.

If that punch were to hit my face...I’m afraid that my skull will cave in at best, shatter at worse.

That’s when a sudden, red blur appeared in front of me.

That red blur extended it’s hand, and caught the punch of the blue haired immortal with extreme ease.

The red blur asked sternly, as if scolding a child, “What are you doing?”

The red blur was none other than the barbaric woman.

The blue haired immortal clicked his tongue in response, and quickly withdrew his extended fist.

“Hmph, I was thinking of inviting you with us to lunch...but with that attitude, just grit your teeth and sit over there.”

I pointed at the long dinner table to the side, which had five seats arranged under it.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, I need to stay calm!

I just saw my life flash before me!!

Why? Why did this guy attack me?

For a second, I thought he was a rare visitor with some manners, since he knocked on the door!

Usually, they break down the door, lockpick it, or do anything without a care for the consequences!!

Ughhh, this is too troublesome to deal with...

And just like that, I finished cooking my share and the barbaric woman’s.

Of course, I didn’t even pour any water or tea for our rude, blue haired guest.

“Now then, what did I do to offend you?”

I asked while shoving a spoon filled with rice and meat into my mouth.

The barbaric woman stood up, brought a small bowl, and shared half of her lunch with the blue haired immortal.

“Hmph. I came here to kill an ant!”

His eyes glittered with killing intent, and my spine couldn’t have helped but shiver.

Of course, he shamelessly ate the bowl of meat and rice that the barbaric woman gave him.

The one just stayed put and did not interfere whatsoever.

“And? What did this humble ant did to you?”

Finding the root of the problem is the best way to solve it.  

“You tortured my daughter, and you are asking me what you, an ant, did? I also heard from her that you’re a mortal! Aren’t you a tiny bit stupid? Telling your life’s story to the person you’re torturing? Your weakness?”

I lowered the spoon within my hands and started laughing.

“This is great, this is great!”

Isn’t it simply ironic? Pinch the daughter, and the father appears. If I were to pinch the father as well, will the grandfather appear? In this immortal world, the cycle won’t reach midway and I would have already died of old age!

“Then how about this,” I smiled, “How about you take one of the courses in my menu. I’ll let you even choose! If you are to finish the course and is still willing to kill me, then I won’t let patient #1 here,” I pointed at the barbaric woman, “To interfere.”

If I had to guess, this blue haired immortal already realized that he’s no match for the barbaric woman.

Giving him a chance to value his life and keeping the woman at bay at the same time. If I wasn’t a genius with this move of mine, then who is?!

I simply can’t see truth in the words we exchanged yesterday. Even if I only requested it one-sidedly. But now, now that my life is at stake, she wouldn’t dare interfere.

The blue haired immortal broke a smile but his eyes were not smiling at all. “Unlike my beloved daughter who I never let experienced any pain before...” The blue haired man’s smile deepened, “I am quite confident in my capabilities in handling pain.”

I clapped my hands together, “This is great, this is great! Since I forced your daughter into the pain course, I won’t count her as a patient. In fact, I’ll give her number to you.”

This way, the patients I failed to treat are not seven, but six!

I immediately stood up, and moved to my office to bring back my menu.

As soon as I returned, I handed the blue haired immortal the menu. Of course, he tried to stab me with a fork but the barbaric woman stopped it before it reached me.

“Now then, you rude guest of mine. From now on, you are patient #58!”

Patient #58 opened up the menu, and immediately furrowed his brows.

“What the hell is this?” He asked.

“Those are my courses!” I replied, smiling from ear to ear.

Hehehe~ I can do this without interference! Oh how easy will this be~

“The happy course, the doubt course, the shame course, the lazy course...What the fuck? Are you sure that you didn’t just mishmash whatever emotion and traits into a ‘menu’? This, honestly, looks like it was written by a bored eight years old!”

I shook my head, and decided to not reply to his insult.

“Just hurry up and choose whatever you take fancy of.”

Patient #58 closed the menu after taking another look at it, and then said, “I want the pain course.”

“I’m sorry, patient #58. You see, this red haired barbaric woman--ahem, patient #1, destroyed my equipment. So that course is not available at the moment...”

Patient #58 didn’t react much, and just randomly asked, “What’s the hardest course you’re given?”

I smiled, “The hope course.”

Patient #58 smiled back at me.

Oh, I guess he realized that i arrange my menu by the least popular to the most popular...or did his daughter, that burglar woman, tell him?

“Then I’ll take course #7, the despair course! Let me see exactly how you’ll make me despair.”

This person must have lived for a few centuries, or even a couple of millennia if he was this confident.

“Oh, good choice,” I smiled, “Let’s start as soon as I finish eating!”

After that, patient #58 tried to kill me multiple times. Be it by throwing a spoon, to moving closer to me and suddenly try to kick me, to even kicking up the supporting pillars of the hut in a desperate attempt at making it fall at me and crush me to death.

Of course, all of them were prevented by the barbaric woman.

It’s been a while since I had such a wild patient.

We moved toward the east side of the forest, walking for about twenty minutes before we reached a door in the middle of nowhere. This door was covered by three walls, all three being a meter long and a two meters tall.

Of course, the walls were on both sides of the door going vertically and the third wall closed the gap between the first two at the back.

There was no ceiling at all.

This whole structure was built by the barbaric woman by the way, and the design was by yours truly!

“Well then, I want you to open the door and go inside by yourself. There’s a similar entrance to this one about three hundred meters from here. All you have to do is find that exit, and walk out of it. If you do walk out and still wish to kill me...then so be it, I will die by your hands and not even heaven can interfere.”

Patient #58 simply sneered, “Hmph. Isn’t that simple enough?”

I didn’t answer him at all, and simply smiled while gesturing him to enter.

Patient #58 ‘Hmph-ed’ again, before opening the door.

The insides of this structure was actually pretty simple.

It was just a set of stairs leading downward.

Patient #58 didn’t hesitate at all, and immediately began to descend down.

His voice echoed for the last time before he moved out of sight, “You better be prepared to die. I suggest that you go taste that red haired woman of yours before it’s too late!”

I let out a chuckle, “We’ll see who’s confident when you come back up~ Oh and by the way, it’s a maze!”

Honestly speaking, I kind of lied when I told him about the exit...after all, the place I’m leading him into is a pocket dimension!

I had the barbaric woman kill a certain rare monster, who’s stomach leads to his own pocket dimension...and shaped it into a maze!

Of course, all the hard labor was by the barbaric woman, again. You can’t expect me to make a maze out of a pocket dimension, do you?

The pocket dimension itself is quite unique, to be honest.

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“Hmph. If only that woman wasn’t there, then it would’ve been simple to kill that guy...Hahaha! I think it’s all lies, that mortal bullshit. But who knows, if he did die...then wouldn’t I be the first person to kill a human?”

To begin with, the way the woman acted is a strong indication that he truly is a mortal.

But as far as I know, the only mortals are beasts! Monsters!

Are you telling me that there are human shaped beasts? I never heard of one.

And not only that, a human shaped beast with the intelligence of a human! Either way, killing him would make me the first to kill his kind. Be it a mortal human or a mortal beast.

Ahh, how I remember Mary coming home yesterday crying.

Just remembering her expression, her tone of voice, her tears...I can’t help but want to kill him! Kill, kill, kill. kill!

I’ve protected my daughter for centuries, making her live a carefree life...and yet, he dares to treat her like that?

If what she said was true...then that human-shaped beast is simply brutal. A sadistic beast. Ridding the world of people like him will do good. I think that the heavens made him a mortal on purpose...Him, being an immortal, is simply too good. The heavens wants him dead! That’s why he is mortal.

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

“To begin with, I’m the fifty eighth...or ninth if we count Marry. This bastard...”

It could be a bluff though.

Let’s just not over think it, shall we?

And just like that, I finally took the last step out of the stairs.

“.....This place is oddly silent.”

The first impression that this dark place gave me was the abyss.

Not only was it eerily silent, but was dark as well.

It was so dark, in fact, that I couldn’t see the palm of my hand even if it was mere centimeters away from my eyes.

I don’t know if its because he lives in a forest or not, but doesn’t he know that walking in a maze with your left hand touching the left wall and making it guiding you, you’ll find the exit?

“Even if it’s silent and dark, there is nothing to be afraid of. Even if beasts come in, I can easily deal with them.”

This will be super easy.

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“Fuck, this is not easy!”

This is the fifth dead end I bumped my head into while following the left wall.

Not only are the roads long, and the spaces between each dead end is vast--giving you the illusion of hope by  making you think you’re going in the right way--Its also taking a lot of time.

In fact, I think it’s already been three days since I entered.

This deathly silence is a bit hard to take...since all I care hear is my own breathing, my foot steps and my heart’s beating.

This is really harder than I thought.

“To begin with, how fucking large is this thing? I remember his saying that the exit is three hundred meters away from the entrance...but I’m sure I already covered an area ten times as large as that!”

Oh Marry, my beautiful daughter Marry! Don’t worry, papa will be sure to get out of here as soon as possible and kill that bastard.

To begin with, I can simply go back to the same door and exit.

It’ll take me, probably, two to three more days of endless walking...but I refuse to believe he is waiting for nearly a week in the same place.

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“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Where the fuck is the entrance? I’ve been walking for so long, oh so long! I’ve been walking for so long that my feet bled, then healed, then bled, then healed, then bled, then healed, then bled, then healed! It’s been probably more than two weeks. Or could it be one? Heck, it might have been a day!”

I kept running into dead ends, one after the other. I’ve bumped my head into dead ends more than sixteen times already! I remember that following the left wall would lead me to the exit...I’ve tried that before, and it still didn’t work. However, even if I want to try it now...where is left? Where is forward? Where is backward?

I DON’T KNOW!

I simply don’t know!!

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“The darkness is fine, I can live with the darkness...but this deathly silence! It’s too silent, it’s too silent, IT’S TOO SILENT!!!”

I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but I can tell you one thing. I’ve already bumped into a hundred and thirty nine dead ends.

How many dead ends does this place have?

Ahhh, Marry. Yes, I got to avenge Marry, don’t I?

I simply have to fight through it. I’ll eventually reach the exit.

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Marry! Marry! Marry! Marry! Marry! Marry! Marry!

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“Ehehehe~”

How long have I been here?

A hundred years?

A thousand years?

A hundred thousand years?

Was I born here?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know!

Although one thing for sure is, this laughter belongs to my beloved Marry.

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“Ehehehehe~”

This soul destroying child’s laughter.

This cursed darkness!

“Why am I here? What did I do to deserve staying here for all eternity?”

I tried mashing my brain in, I tried to plug out my ears, I tried to stuff my ears with my fingers, I tried to pop my eardrum but nothing, nothing, NOTHING CAN HELP ME STOP THIS LAUGHTER!!!

Why is there laughter?

Not only that, at some times I can see a person in the midst of all this darkness.

It’s a smiling male, his smile was shaped like a crescent moon...simply too creepy! To fitting to this horror of deathly laughter and darkness!!

Even if I was excited at first when seeing him, now he simply haunts me...laughing at me with this irritating child’s laughter!

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There is no longer darkness.

There is no longer silence.

There are various scenes playing through, colorful ones.

Are these my memories?

As I watch these plays and replays of events that I no longer remember, my sense of awareness slowly begins to sharpen.

They are all happy memories.

For example, me killing my first demonic beast.

Me learning some low level magic.

Me being praised by my great, great, great grandfather.

Adventuring with my dad in the open world.

Meeting my beloved wife and my beloved Marry.

Oh, and these things simply don’t have any sounds at all...the only sound in this place is a child’s laughter.

After watching these memories of mine, slowly, I began to remember everything.

Of course, the memories that I have forgotten are still being played in this darkness.

I started to remember why I’m here, I started to remember what happened, and I started to remember who that young man with the creepy smile was.

As the scenes continue playing, I noticed a recurrence.

All the other scenes played only once, but this particular scene played three times now.

What scene, you might be wondering?

It’s a scene where I make love with Marry while she was still just nine years old.

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I don’t know how many dead ends I went through, so I started counting right after I regained my self of identity.

A few minutes...or was it seconds? Perhaps it was hours. Whatever. Earlier, I ran to my three hundred and twenty seventh dead end. This place has no end, does it? Why did I want to challenge a person such as this? Why did I want to kill a person who was capable of setting up something like this? Was I insane?

Not only that, the scene where I am forcing myself on Marry is repeating again and again...to be honest, I’m already tired. I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired! I want everything to turn black again. I want everything to turn silent again. I want that sweet laughter to stop!!!!!

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Is this heaven’s punishment for what I’ve done to Marry?

Is my love to Marry forbidden?

Am I not allowed to love anyone?

I only got together with Marry’s mother to begin with is for Marry’s sake.

My love to her is what she needs, and her love to me is what I need.

Is our love unforgivable by the heavens?

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Marry? Who the fuck cares about Marry?

I’ve run into the fifth thousand, nine hundred, twenty eighth dead end earlier.

Love? What is love? Can it get me out of here?

Alright, is admitting this going to let heaven forgive me?

I pretended to be a gentlemen to Marry’s mother and married her. I got in a relationship with her for the only sake of supplying my useless love to her daughter, Marry.

Who fucking cares about Marry?

I simply want to get out!

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I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

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I ran into the seventh hundred ninety ninth thousand dead end today.

I’m sorry, Marry.

I’m sorry that I tried to go against that monster, I’m sorry that I accepted entering this hell, I’m sorry.

Is this my punishment for ruining--brainwashing Marry into my perfect daughter?

Whatever it is, I really hope her cheerful “Ehehehe~” could stop.

It’s making me crazy!

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Is this how death feels like?

I wonder if it is...

I tried to bash my head into the walls so many times, but nothing happens.

Oh, how many times did I try to break the dead ends? Be it magic or physical strength, not even a scratch could be made.

I’m sorry. I’m going to repent. In fact, if I were to ever leave this place, I will live my whole life just to make Marry happy. All eternity!

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Alright, heavens. I didn’t really mean it last time, but now I do. I will solely for the sake of Marry for all eternity!

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I’ll disappear for Marry’s sight, never to be seen ever again...so can you at least stop this laughter? please? PLEASE?!

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My brain hurts. My heart hurts. How long have I been here? A trillion years? I don’t know. This irritating laughter has gotten so loud, that I can’t even hear my own thoughts.

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“A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

This is too hard, this is too painful! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!!!

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Along with the laughter, the dead ends and the repeating scenes of me raping Marry, there was an extra edition.

It’s a bright light with a step of stairs.

Although the steps of stairs look very familiar to me, I simply can’t make myself go over and climb them upwards.

My guts tells me that it’ll bring me to hell...I wonder why? Have I ever climbed a set of stairs before, I wonder?

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After so much time, I finally realized where the laughter was coming from.

It was coming from the bright, set of stairs!

I want to go there and silence whoever is laughing...but my guts still refuse to let me go near the stairs.

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Alright, I made up my mind.

I am going to climb these stairs.

It might take me to a worse hell...but I’ll do anything to silence this insane laughter!

I slowly began to ascend the stairs, one step at a time. As if every step is walking on fire, I carefully took my time. I spent all eternity in that crazy laughter, taking my time climbing stairs is a good way to distract myself.

After an unknown period of time went by, a shining light penetrated my eyes.

As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw the creepily smiling man and a red haired woman to his side.

Is this man god?

Is this man the one who sent me to hell?

“So, what is the value of life that you spent learning the last hour?”

That’s the first thing he asked me.

I feel his gaze penetrating my soul...I felt that if I were to tell a lie, I will be sent to that hell again.

“To...live for the sake of forgiveness from Marry!”

The celestial being simply nodded to my answer, and then asked another question. “Do you wish to kill me?”

I couldn’t help but shiver in fright.

I shook my head furiously, “My life is meant for Marry! To protect Marry! To be punished by Marry! Not to kill!!!”

The celestial being turned around and walked away with the red haired woman, and I couldn’t help but release a sigh.

Although I remember what I’ve done to the child called Marry. Although my heart is set to repent...but who exactly is Marry? Where is Marry?

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Author note: For those who noticed something...yes, even I after I finished writing noticed it. It's similar to the last volume of HakoMaria, isn't it? I promise the next chapter will be unique! Even I only noticed after finishing the chapter. And when I did, I changed the girl's name to Marry, lol.

Oh, and if it was confusing, then sorry...I'll work it out tomorrow again with a fresh mind.