CHAPTER TWELVE – SPARKING WRATH

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I flew for over two cycles but I never found Bugbear. I wasn’t worried about him anymore though. I no longer had to fear for his safety as I once had. Death would only return him home and he didn’t care about the same things players did. Losing gear or losing experience did not matter to him. I also knew that beastmasters couldn’t catch him now that he was a player.

Instead my mind was filled with excitement. I could hardly wait for Iron to log in so I could show him the good news! At the same time, I couldn’t stay anywhere I’d normally spend a lot of time because I didn’t want Francis to get mad at me about the King.

With Bugbear scolding me for something he couldn’t even understand, I just felt like it would be better to be alone for now. It was time to Tread the Sky and find out for myself if Red Thorn’s lessons were all lies or if there was truth behind them.

Red Thorn.

Akwa…

She’d been such a good friend to me. How was it possible that she could be one in the same with that stab-happy…! Ugh. Jellybitch wasn’t a strong enough insult.

I hated Red Thorn. But I didn’t hate Akwa.

I just didn’t want to think about that. I was angry – furious actually – and for the first time, I felt like it might just be a good thing that I lived in a dead world. I didn’t have to worry about killing anything that might care.

I was level seventeen when I descended into a level twenty zone that looked like a graveyard. I’d discovered that my Jellyfae form kept all the buffs that came from the armor I was wearing as a human, so I didn’t feel too afraid of the slightly higher level.

The weather seemed to be different in this zone. I was amazed as I crossed into the area and the sky darkened. Purple clouds with thinly veiled lightning bursts just beneath their surfaces set the whole place echoing with thunder and constant eerie light.

The level was much lower than that of the Jungle, so I could safely assume the creatures were weaker. The Jungle probably acted as a natural barrier, preventing adventurers from traversing it easily, which is why my sky counter occasionally ticked up as I entered areas unexplored by other users. It also might’ve been the fact that I was flying high above where most adventurers walked.

When I descended, sudden groans and moans assailed me. To my shock, grotesque simulacrum of humans and elves and dwarves began to pull their dead flesh out of the earth before slowly shambling towards me.

They were festering even as they approached. In pain as they began to attack. They were deformities. Wrong, dead things, twisted by the uncanny valley in a way that made them uncomfortable to look at.

I would never use Fae Touch on one of these creatures.

On the other hand… they were perfect.

The first one reached me, what few teeth it had bared and drooling. I shocked him and was rewarded with a wide-eyed yelp before the zombie crumpled to the ground, now truly dead.

That seemed so strange to me. Damage was what killed the living so wouldn’t healing be how you destroyed the dead?

It didn’t matter. I grinned, dodging between the slow swiping hands of zombies, occasionally felling foes two and three at a time with each shock. I cast it over and over, utterly destroying enemies that would likely have overwhelmed my human body.

It was satisfying. My dictionary gave me the word cathartic, when I struggled to come up with the right one and I found it apt. Destroying things that were truly mindless. Built to be mindless and to never be alive in the first place, I almost didn’t notice when my level up counter tinged to level eighteen.

With nothing better to do, I simply continued on. I never grew tired, and I didn’t need to sleep like humans did. I had no need to quit in order to care for some otherworldly body. Percussive therapy in action, I vented all my frustration and rage on the undead as I’d never been fully capable of doing on the more animated of NPCs.

Occasionally I activated steal. When their numbers thinned, I switched to my human form to slice them with my dagger, gaining proficiency in the weapon before the sheer number of zombies began to inevitably wear me down and I had to revert back to the safety of my Jellyfae form.

This. This was why adventurers came to this world. The sheer joy of self improvement mixed with the almost unhinged glee that came from steadily killing the creatures that weren’t real enough to make me feel guilty.

Over the hours, I began to calm down a little. Francis would be mad about the king, but he would get over it. Iron would be happy again now that Amy was learning to live. And Red Thorn…?

Well. I didn’t know what I might do about her. Nothing probably.

I leveled twice before I finally got the notification I’d been hoping for. Iron Crock logged in.

“Derek,” I thought, excited. Finally something was going to go right! I immediately invited him to a party, and he joined quickly.

“Hi Gell. I’m sorry for staying away for so long. You didn’t deserve that. Could you come back to Jungle Home? I’m a little concerned. We need to talk,” he wrote to me in the chat. It took him forever.

He was right, though. We did need to talk, but how could I reach him without one of the False Gods dropping in?

“You’re right! We need to talk in person! Uhm. I’m kinda in trouble with Francis again though and I really don’t want to go somewhere that’s easy for him to find me? Could you meet me at Bluebell Bridge? You have a Home Point there, right?”

Francis did know I’d been to Bluebell Bridge, but I didn’t think he’d go there first if he was looking for me. He’d probably check Jungle Home, the entrance to Dungeon Home, and Variak before anywhere else.

Bluebell bridge was the first town I’d ever been to. It was my second homepoint, but I wasn’t particularly attached to it. If I ever needed to abandon one of my allowed three, this would be the first to go.

“In trouble? What happened?” he messaged.

“Nothing major! He just might be a teensy bit mad at me is all! I’d rather avoid him until it all blows over. So, Bluebell?”

His reply took a long time to show back up. I grinned, thinking about what he looked like. I bet he was that silly mix of amused and worried that he always got when I was in some kind of trouble.

"Sure, Gell. Bluebell Bridge it is. I'll be there in a bit,” he said with an amused sigh. Relief washed over me. At least I had Iron to share this with.

I initiated the teleport to Bluebell Bridge, my excitement growing with each passing moment. Iron was going to be so happy.

The seconds it took waiting for the world to fade back into view felt like entire cycles, but as soon as the moonlit night of the location came into view, I saw Iron standing there, fading in from his own teleportation.

He looked somewhat less impressive since the last time I’d seen him. I wasn’t sure if that was due to the weight of his loss, but he seemed smaller. Diminished somehow, without Amy. Perhaps it was my imagination.

“Iron!” I exclaimed, bounding over to him with an excitement that I hadn’t felt in ages.

I was self aware enough to realize that I was overexaggerating my happiness for his sake. If I’d been depressed after losing Amy, Derek had been devastated. Also, I just really didn’t want to think about Red Thorn. Akwa…

No. This was a happy moment. The first time I’d seen Derek in ages. I wasn’t going to let that… let her ruin this.

“Gell! I was already teleporting when it happened, but as I was leaving Variak, a bunch of knights started waving spears at me! Was there some sort of event? I didn’t think you could do that inside the cities,” he exclaimed.

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“Uhhh…”

He might look diminished, but he sounded triumphant. Or at least happy. Considering how broken he’d seemed when we last saw each other, this upbeat attitude was unsettling.

“I… Variak…?”

‘Oh shoot!’ I thought anxiously. ‘He was in Variak when he last logged in, and with the King acting up…!’

“Yeah, probably just some sort of event!” I said sheepishly. “Y-you know the developers! Always, uhm. Always trying to make the dead world seem more lifelike!”

My discomfort must’ve alerted him because his eyes narrowed in concern.

"What's wrong, Gell? You look... different," he remarked.

‘Was he on to me!? Already? Jellydamn what did that silly king do!?’ I thought frantically, before Iron reached out and wiped at my face. Viscous dark liquid flicked off me onto the ground before dissolving into nothing.

I hesitated, realizing that my appearance was probably affected by my recent battle with the undead. I was covered in gore and dirt! No wonder he was concerned! Usually those things just faded away over a short time but until just a few minutes ago, I’d been frantically slaughtering zombies.

“Ohh! That. I was just doing something cathartic,” I sighed, relieved. “I was… someone really made me angry earlier so I was taking it out on the dead.”

He chuckled. “I missed you, Gell. God. I… really shouldn’t have stayed away so long. I’m sorry about that. You didn’t deserve to lose me and Amy, and she’d be pissed at me if she knew… well. I’m sorry. Until it's my time as well, I won’t leave you alone again, okay?”

I paused, struck by the heartfelt words.

“I… Thanks, Iron. And, that’s okay. I understand. It feels like my heart was ripped out sometimes, but it never gets better, and no amount of respawning or healing will ever fix it. Seeing you though. Seeing you back. That does. That helps.” I breathed.

“I shouldn’t have stayed away for so long,” he said softly, before reaching out and hugging me.

The gore and guts all over me made a squelching noise. I giggled. I had missed him so much.

We finally parted a fraction of a cycle later, both of us reluctant to let the other go. Both of our thoughts on Amy. I knew I’d be able to make him much happier in just a minute but I felt like I needed him just as much as I’d needed her. With her… wisdom I think I’d possibly overlooked how valuable he was to me as well.

“So. You’ve been dying to show me something. What is it?” he asked as he leaned against a nearby wall.

Bluebell Bridge was alive with the bustle of background activity. It was more lively than it had once been, most likely due to the knights that had been pushing people firmly out of Variak over the course of the last few cycles.

What I was doing suddenly felt sneaky and secretive, as if logging Amy in was another one of those things Francis might get mad at me for. People were constantly coming and going, mostly appearing out of thin air next to the Home Point. If Amy logged in right here it wouldn’t look any different than anyone else teleporting in, but… it felt wrong to show Iron that his wife was still alive here in this busy place.

“Uhm. Can we go back to the inn maybe? Or somewhere a little bit outside of town? It’s a big deal! You’re gonna be so happy!” I exclaimed.

He grinned. I could tell from his expression that he was both amused and skeptical. Oh well. He didn’t know yet.

I grabbed his arm and began eagerly tugging him. The place where we’d first had Steak and Broccoli seemed like it would be perfect for this!

“You’re still an abomination, Gell,” he said fondly as he allowed himself to be dragged along.

My dream of evoking a similar feeling to the first time I’d been in a town was shattered as we walked into the inn. It was filled to the brim with invaders. Where before there had been a few npcs following their cycles and maybe an equal number of players, now there were hundreds of them.

The inn was cramped and there wasn’t an unused table in the place. Men and women were laughing and drinking and tossing dice. Food was everywhere and the poor npcs seemed like they could barely keep up.

As usual when I went anywhere public my message counter spiked to hundreds of messages almost instantly, but when the people at the door noticed me they all began to excitedly congregate on us.

“The AI?”

“Yeah, that’s her! Gell! They were talking about her!”

“Did you really call that reporter a–!”

“Gell! Want to party?”

“Hi Gell!”

“Do you know anything about what’s going on in Variak!?”

“Gell! Do you get along with Siri?”

“Well. I thought you were popular before,” Iron said, stepping in front of me and the crowd that had unconsciously been surging towards us.

“I… yeah I guess! More here than I was in Variak though. Maybe we should get a room to talk in?” I suggested.

He nodded and we began to push our way through the throng of adventurers towards the desk. It didn’t take us too long to get one of those temporary rooms. The attendant at the desk was a very simple NPC, mostly just asking if you wanted a room since the waiters and waitresses were the ones who actually sold the food.

I picked up a Cherry Delight on my way to the Innkeeper’s counter and beamed when it appeared in his hands.

The customary loss of control and fade to black as we entered the room no longer frightened me as it once had. I was also quite pleased with myself. I’d racked up a hefty quantity of coins and could easily afford rooms now with my ill-gotten gains.

“Whew. What a madhouse. The Devs must be planning something big in Variak if they’ve really kicked everyone out of the city. Think it will be fun?” Derek asked as he sat down on the room’s single chair.

I scowled. I really wished he’d stop bringing Variak up.

“Uhh, sure,” I replied. “Maybe. I don’t know. That’s not important. What is important is Amy!”

He winced, and I did too. Right. He still didn’t know.

“Sorry. That… I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just, Amy isn’t as gone as you think. She might have–!” I paused with a stutted. “M-might have died in your world. But she didn’t die here. I wanted to show you what I found. So… get ready!”

Iron frowned at my words.

“Gell. I don’t want to sound callous, but–!”

“No! Just. Just wait a second. Let me show you what I’m talking about,” I told him.

I brought up the command line quickly and entered the login command. Sure enough, right before my eyes the glow of a player logging in to Tread the Sky formed.

It only took a few seconds, but then standing there before us was Amy Thyst.

“See!” I said excitedly. “I know she’s not… y’know. Not all there yet. But she’s going to be! I made her alive! Sooner or later, once enough cycles have passed, she’s going to be real! Like you and me and bugbear and all the adventurers!”

My excitement faded as I saw his eyes. Pity. Grief. Calm, infuriating understanding. Different species, different origins, and different worlds, and still Bugbear and Iron somehow had the exact same look.

“Gell,” Iron said calmly. “I know how badly you miss her. God help me, I miss her more than I can fathom. But… this isn’t her.”

“Well of course not right now!” I insisted. “She’s only just been Fae-Touched! But look, see!”

I waved my hand in front of Amy’s face and she blinked, reacting to the sudden potential pain. Reacting. Seeing. Learning!

“See!? She’s learning! And soon she’ll be talking just like bugbear! With a little effort and some time she could be just like she–!”

“No,” Iron cut in, his words as hard as his name. “She might become real. She might be every bit as real as you in time, but she’ll never be her, Gell. And that’s okay. Loss is a part of–!”

“NO!” I screamed. “Dammit! No! She’s real! She’s gonna be Amy again! This is the one thing my world has over yours! No death! So it’s okay if she’s not Amy yet! She will be! It’ll be just like it was before… before…”

His arms were suddenly around me. Rather than comforting, I found them cold and unfeeling. I pushed him away and glared. “Why can’t you see that she’s real! Why can’t anything in my world be real!?”

“Gell…”

“No! Get out. G-get out! I’ll show you. I’ll prove she’s every bit as real as any Adventurer. Just like me!”

“I never said she wasn’t real. Just that she won’t ever be Amy. Not as you knew her,” Iron said. “I see what you’re doing. I understand why, but it isn’t going to work. This is just… just an Amy-shaped doll.”

“I… but… but I…”

He turned to look at Amy, a wistful smile on his face. Amy just stared straight ahead. Unseeing. Her eyes flickered to his for just a moment. Wary. None of the love that had been there before. Then there was nothing once more. Blankness. Emptiness.

I’d known it the second I’d seen her. I’d even thought that it wasn’t and couldn't ever be her. But I didn’t want to believe it. So I’d used Fae-Touch in the slim hope that whatever magic that ability seemed to hold over this world might well and truly bring Amy back.

The magic of a real god maybe. Of miracles. Of Amy’s God?

It hadn’t though. All it had done was give this… this random npc without even an instinct to guide it, the barest hint of a chance to be something more. Gods, dammitall.

Tears came to my eyes. It shouldn’t have been, but it was as if I’d lost her all over again. The memory of that day, cycles and cycles ago now, staring at Amy’s gravestone with fucking Red Thorn at my side, patting my shoulder as I lost the realest thing I’d ever found.

The warp of a teleportation didn’t even make me flinch. Of course I couldn’t hide from Francis. Not anymore. It was his world, after all, and I was just another little creature in it he had to manage. I knew it would be him before the sound effect faded.

The anger in the false god’s eyes felt appropriate. He knew what I’d done. He’d only given me a few little rules. They should’ve been so easy to follow, but I’d broken them.

I’d expected to be afraid, but staring between the blank-faced mockery of Amy and Derek, who’d only ever tried to help me, I only felt ashamed.

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