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1. The Castle of Carnage

Among adventurers, there were three essential rules when it came to exploring a dungeon. The first rule was to only enter dungeons that were reasonable for your skill level, the second rule to be prepared for whatever you may face, and the third was to never enter a dungeon alone. At the moment, Mill happened to be breaking all three.

“What glorious gears… what magnificent mechanisms! Truly, this is the platonic ideal of a perfect puzzle! Really, being able to rotate this whole room around is just inspired.” The Castle of Carnage was renowned for being one of the world’s most dangerous dungeons, and yet here Mill found themself, completely alone. They stared at the glass wall in front of them, so enraptured with the clockwork machinery visible behind it that they didn’t notice the sound of footsteps behind them.

“You there!” a rough voice called out. Mill spun around to see an eight-foot tall minotaur with muscles that would make any bodybuilder bow down and beg for guidance. “Nobody’s supposed to be here right now! Go and get back to— wait a minute. You’re a human, aren’t you?” The minotaur narrowed its eyes.

Huh!? A hostile sapient monster!? But I thought the heroes cleared this place out back during that whole business with that evil emperor guy! There should only be natural dungeon-spawned monsters here! Belatedly, Mill noticed the scarf around the monster’s neck, emblazoned with a stylized picture of a clawed hand. It seemed familiar somehow, but they couldn’t quite place it. Oh, but he’s not attacking me, so maybe…

“Who, me? A human? Perish the thought! I’m just your average everyday shapeshifter! I’m taking this form because I just got back from doing, uh, shapeshifter stuff! You know?” Nailed it.

The minotaur nodded. “I see. A shapeshifter, huh? That makes sense— AS IF! Did you really think I would be stupid enough to believe such a flimsy lie!? You don’t even have our uniform on! Don’t try to pretend to be one of us! And since you’re an intruder… that means you must DIE!” He lowered his head to charge at Mill.

Ah well. It was worth a try. All I can do now is RUN FOR MY LIFE! Mill dove to the side and the minotaur crashed into the wall, his horns bouncing off the surprisingly sturdy glass. Rolling to their feet, Mill made a mad dash towards one of the room’s many doors. The minotaur roared in anger, a sound that made Mill’s teeth rattle, and rushed after them.

They ducked through the doorway, the angry minotaur hot on their heels. The path in front of them narrowed into a dimly lit corridor lined with brick walls. Feeling a gust of wind, they glanced behind themself, only to see that the minotaur had pulled a huge axe out from somewhere to swing at them! They ducked to the side, narrowly avoiding the attack, and the axe smashed into the floor, burying itself in the stone. Yikes! I wouldn’t want to get hit with that!

Noticing that the minotaur was busy trying to yank his axe out of the ground, Mill turned a corner into another hallway. With luck, their pursuer wouldn’t have noticed.

“YOU AREN’T GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY!” Unfortunately, luck was not on Mill’s side. The minotaur came barreling around the bend, axe back in hand. He chased Mill down the hall, never more than a few steps behind. Mill could feel their stamina flagging, their breath coming in spurts.

I really need to find a way to lose this guy! Mill saw another side path and made the turn. It didn’t work the first time and it probably wouldn’t work again, but it wasn’t like they had many other options. Once again, luck was not on their side, as the path they were taking lead to a dead end. They turned around, hoping that just maybe there would be enough room to squeeze past the minotaur, but was met with the sight of him advancing down the hallway.

“I’ve got you now,” the minotaur growled as it walked towards them. “Do you know just how annoying it is to deal with intruders like you? Every so often, those pathetic human kingdoms will send a group in here to ‘investigate.’ To make sure that our order is as dead as they think it is. But they are fools.” His face twisted into a horrific bovine grin. “After all, what kind of human believes that they can traverse a dungeon better than a monster?”

Mill backed away as he talked. “Wait, your order? What does that… ah.” At that moment, Mill recalled where they had seen the symbol on the monster’s scarf— it was the emblem of the Order of Annihilation, the military force that had served the now-fallen Emperor Interitus. The organization that had supposedly disbanded in the wake of the heroes’ victory.

“So you… your army has secretly been in here the whole time?”

The minotaur took a step forward. “That’s right. And as much as I would like to slaughter all that come here, your teams never returning from their investigations would be suspicious. So we hide. We bide our time so we may strike back twice as strong. But you,” he took another step forward, “You’re just a single person. It’s perfectly natural for a lone adventurer to never return from a dungeon, is it not?”

Mill gulped. “Uh, yeah, I guess so, huh? That was pretty careless of me, wasn’t it? Haha! Actually, since I’m so unimportant, being just a single person and all, you wouldn’t mind letting me go, right?”

The minotaur snorted. “Not a chance. Did you think I would tell you all this just so you can go rat it out to your human leaders or something? No!” He raised his axe and smiled wider. “I am telling you this because you won’t live long enough for it to be of use.”

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Staring death in the face with their back against the wall, Mill was panicking. Seriously? I didn’t sign up for this! I thought there would only be dumb monsters I could lure away by throwing bags of treats, not a secret conspiracy to restore a fallen evil empire! I just wanted to see what kinds of puzzles and traps a real dungeon had! Wait, traps? That’s it!

Mill looked around desperately as the axe descended upon them. There! They slammed their hand over a brick on the wall that was a slightly different shape and color than the rest of them. Honestly Mill gave it a fifty-fifty shot that it would be the kind of trap that would kill them then and there, but that chance was better than the certain death that would come for them if they didn’t act.

As soon as their hand hit the brick, the wall behind them shifted. It flipped around, knocking away the minotaur’s axe and carrying Mill to the other side of the wall. It settled back in place, and soon the only thing that was in the dead-end corridor was a stunned minotaur and his axe on the floor.

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When the wall settled to a stop, Mill just blinked. Wait… I’m safe? With that realization, all the tension flooded out of them and they slumped to the ground. Aaagh, that was terrifying! I almost died! Wait, actually, I can’t relax just yet! That minotaur guy wasn’t stupid. He’ll probably find the trigger for the wall to open up soon. Better get moving.

Mill stood back up and took stock of their surroundings. Unlike the corridors they had been in before, this place was a wide open room. High above, a chandelier bathed everything in ominous green light, reflecting off the shattered mirrors that covered all the walls, with the exception of the rotating brick wall entrance they came through. The room was empty of furniture, but there was a large circular platform in the middle of the room. Mill looked around, but didn’t see any doors to continue through.

So this is a dead end too, huh? Wait, I’m stupid. I came in through a secret entrance, so maybe there are more! That platform looks like a good place to start looking. They walked over and climbed onto it, but upon further inspection there was absolutely nothing notable there. The platform’s smooth surface betrayed no imperfections that might hint to a hidden mechanism or a secret compartment.

That’s weird. This platform is the most prominent thing in this room. There’s no way it just does nothing! If I were the one who designed this dungeon, I would put some kind of puzzle controller or trap or treasure here. No, wait, I shouldn’t just discount the dungeon designer so easily. This is the famous Castle of Carnage, after all! Let’s try more stuff until something works.

Mill then proceeded to try a number of things to solve the apparent ‘puzzle.’ They placed an old key they found earlier in the center, they kicked various places on the floor with gusto, and they tried scratching it with a glass shard they broke off one of the shattered mirrors, but none of that had any sort of effect.

Hmm. I must be doing something wrong here, they thought, unwilling to believe that just maybe, there wasn’t any puzzle at all to solve. Their thoughts were soon interrupted with the sound of a shifting wall.

“FINALLY! I’ve got you now! My boss would never let me hear the end of it if he heard I let an intruder get away. It is fortunate that won’t be happening! Whose bright idea even was it to make the button for that door one of many identical looking bricks? That’s just stupid.”

Mill froze and turned to the sound of the voice. The minotaur had found his way into the room, blocking the only way out. Their mind raced, struggling to think of a single thing that might let them live to see another day. Maybe if I could lure him away from the exit I could get past him? No, that wouldn’t work. It would just turn into another chase, and I’m too winded to get away.

“Uh, no! Secret doors are super cool! YOU’RE stupid!” Drat, I can’t think of anything! I’ve got no choice to try and fight!

Mill unslung the staff from their back and held it out in front of themself. At the display, the minotaur chuckled. “Oh, so you’ve decided to stop running like a coward after all, have you? No matter! All roads lead to death! Yours, that is!”

“Then I guess I’ll be doing some off-roading!” The air lit up around Mill as they channeled magic into their staff, coalescing into a single point at its end. Beads of sweat formed on their forehead as they concentrated on the spell. The light grew brighter and brighter until Mill opened their eyes and called out the spell with a shout. “Frost!” Energy shot out from their staff, aimed directly at the minotaur.

“Hmph! As if I would be downed by something so pathetic! I don’t even need to dodge something as lowly as this!” The minotaur stood in place, taking the blast of light head on. When the light hit him, it dissipated into icy blue sparkles that blew over him ineffectively. “Wow, okay, I did say that it wouldn’t do anything to me, but that was more an intimidation tactic than anything. I didn’t actually expect it to be THAT weak. What kind of pathetic mage are you?” He seemed genuinely baffled.

“Shut it. I’m a crafter, not a fighter,” they mumbled. That sealed it. Mill was officially doomed. Frost, the lowest level ice spell, was the only combat spell they knew.

“A crafter…? Why are you even here then? And to think I spent so much time chasing down a mere crafter… well, it matters not. I’ll make your death swift so I can get back to my job.”

Mill sighed. I should have never come here. Maybe Mr. Mason was right, and I should have stuck to learning to build normal things like houses and restaurants instead of being so fixated on dungeons… Nah, that’s stupid. I may be inches from death, but no way am I going to give up on my convictions! I’ll survive this, and I’ll build the greatest dungeon this world has ever seen!

With that thought, the platform Mill was standing on began to glow. Unlike the frosty blue of Mill’s previous spell, this light was a deep indigo— the color of spatial magic. Huh? Wait, did I do something to activate the platform? Well, whatever. If it saves me, I’ll take it!

The minotaur’s eyes widened. “That teleporter… but how!? No one should be able to activate it!”

Mill stuck their tongue out at him. “I don’t know and I don’t care! See ya never, loser!” With an indigo flash, they were gone.

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