I told you before, oh great Duke of Rivka and I will tell you now. Mazurian presence *was* low across the board, but this phenomenom has happenend many times before! Soon we will have Mazurians attacking all across the border again. That isn't even mentioning the effect the failed assassination attempt would have had on this. I strongly urge you to raise funding for the guard, before something terrible happens that will put us all to shame.

-In a letter from general Maltza

POV Esstrey

It has been around 37 sleep cycles since I woke up in prison, no doubt kept asleep by some spell while they kept me in transit. While I was in prison, I at least managed to learn about this magic stuff and found out that magic resistance is important and how to build it. Luckily, despite what my memory says, I was very much turned into a mermaid and wasn't just always like this.

"Hey Esstrey."

Despite me being located in what looks like a worse version of Guantánamo Bay, things could really be much worse. While my mansion is roughly 25 square meters in surface and 4 meters in height, it leaves much to be desired furniture-wise. They did equip me with a surprisingly nice fishbowl, which I use for sleeping and hydrating.

"Oi Esstrey you still there?"

What is concerning to me is the clear fact that the mission was a total failure, my entire team is very dead and the Queen very much alive. Which brings me to another point, why am I kept alive? I'm just a security risk, and I am rather certain these people are backwards enough for the more old-fashioned displays of public execution, especially for attempted assassination. I mean, come on! Monarchs? Royal families? Talking to all of them back to back when your country has a history of killing them was incredibly awkward.

"OI ESSTREY!"

"WHAT IS IT, JIMMY?"

"Just checking if you are still alive."

"Fuck off Jimmy, you are not getting my corpse."

"Aww come on lady, you told me about what your patch looks like, it be a match made in the underworld."

"And I told you a dozen times now that the patch has fuckall to do with necromancers, and I regret telling you about it."

That was Jimmy, my lovely neighbor and also the only one that talks in a language I can comprehend. As one could guess, he's a necromancer and very annoying. Unfortunately, he's also my only source of information, since the guard haven't been too helpful to me. He also told me the Mazurians tend to stick anyone dangerous but potentially useful into this place. In his case, he is apparently a rather big player in the whole necromancy business, or at least one that cares if he dies so he can be negotiated with.

"You say that Esstrey, but the 4 dead guards say otherwise. Hell, you give me the vibe that you bat less of an eye to murder than I do, and I'm a fuckin' necromancer! Can you at least keep it down a bit? I don't want you to be moved to a maximum security cell because they actually started treating me better because I got you next to me. I'm tellin ya, ya must be some high rankin' mermaid lass cuz' the warden must have a soft spot for you after the shit you pulled."

"I don't give a damn about the warden going easy on me, I'm going insane in here as is. Johnny isn't exactly a great conversation partner, and Jimbo is somehow even worse!"

"Hey, why did ya have to give me a name like them anyway, you gotta admit I'm a much better conversation partner than the man-eater and whatever Jimbo is."

Jimbo gives a dissatisfied howl that sounds like someone replaced his vocal cords with a shrill violin in obvious response to being insulted by Jimmy, he's clearly a much better conversationalist.

"I gave you that name because they are all very American names, and you are all very American to me."

We banter back and forth for a while longer, as it's the only thing worth doing in an attempt to stave off insanity. Successful or not, it at least passes the time until some guard gets careless again. Until at some point Johnny Maneater starts clattering his teeth, signaling the smell of fresh meat moving down the hall. He stopped doing that to me a few days after I arrived, or specifically the point I killed the first guard and took a bite out of her.

"Patrol coming, ETA thirty seconds." "Patrol shouldn't be here for another three hours."

As running footsteps are heard in the distance, it becomes clear quickly that it isn't the patrol which is coming by.

"Six unknowns, ETA ten seconds." "Quit that! I don't think it's a patrol."

"Prison level one, section eight, cell eight. Which Should be a level six security cell, honestly I expected higher for the person we are here for." I'm going to call that voice Pierre.

I think that's my cell, I hear them walking down the stairs with loud steps but great confidence. Are they assassins come to finish me off? Possible, but they wouldn't be from Mazurio considering the Queen could have me killed at any point if she wanted to.

As the unknowns comes into view that fact becomes obvious, for one they are all human and dressed more for a weak imitation of stealth rather than actual stealth as the shapes of armor is visible under cloaks.

"You sure this is the cell? I only see some mermaid in a fishbowl." As he said that, I hear him snicker slightly. That one is getting called Gaston.

Damn, I don't have a good visual on them despite them being this close, my time here must be doing a number on my skills harder than I thought. Maybe it would have been a better idea to be nicer to the guards and try to build some rapport, so I could have gotten a fitness installation installed. Oh well, it is what it is.

"It seems much more likely to be the creepy guy next door."

Really? They think Jimmy is me? Well I never saw the dude, so I'm not sure if he looks as emaciated as he sounds, but it still feels a bit insulting. Still, that's really harsh of you Gaston.

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"Fuck do you want kid? Come to gawk at an old man in your spare time? I'll curse your ass if ya keep lookin'."

"Okay, never mind rot away then, old man." Damn Gaston you are not good at making friends in prison, are you? He's already rotting away no need to rub it in. It's only okay if I do it.

As the group looks around the other cells they are met with the lovely hunger noises of Johnny and Jimbo's screeches of dissatisfaction.

"Maybe we should try asking the mermaid if she knows, she seems nice." Ah, what a lovely voice, alas I have killed more people in my relatively short stay than the three numbskulls in all their years combined. So while I'm sure she is also nice she is also very wrong and will thus be Jeanne.

The last three that haven't spoken yet don't look like they intend to anytime soon either so I will refer to them as Dipshit one to three. If they wanted better names they should have said something, although I don't blame them if they simply didn't want French names.

"Oi mermaid, we asked you something, so would you be so kind as to respond?" Gaston asked me something? No it must have been Pierre and Gaston simply got upset for his buddy's sake. Even if Gaston is kind of a dick I decide to leave my fishbowl and slowly wiggle closer to the jail bars. As I get closer I notice that they are a lot younger than any team going through a prison has any right to be.

"Say that again? My hearing isn't what it used to be, while you are at it can you tell me your age? I do hope my eyesight isn't failing me either."

Jeanne tries to speak, but Pierre stops her and walks forward a bit. He opens his mouth to ask again before he squints his eyes at me and gestures at Dipshit two for the torch. As he nearly shoves the torch in my face I cover my eyes to the light suddenly getting that much brighter. I hear some gasps from the French trio but nothing from the Dipshits while Gaston rudely gets into an offensive stance.

"Where did you get those clothes? What did you do to him?" Oh, right I'm still wearing my spetsnaz gear, minus hidden armaments of course I spent those already.

"What does it look like asshole? They are my fucking clothes and if you want your own damn set go bother my quartermaster, but don't be surprised if he decides to kick your ass." I'm starting to get real annoyed with these stupid questions and this attitude that reminds me of a bunch of kids.

"We came here to find the man that was rumored to have fought the demon lord and survived, are you him?" Now that I think about it why did it seem like they recognized my gear?

"In the flesh, even if the flesh is a lot softer and more slippery than it used to be." At that statement all of them actually wince a little, even the Dipshits who I was starting to think were actually pretending to be royal guards with their impeccable statue imitations.

"If the man was turned then I suppose there is nothing left here for us." Wow, Dipshit one is clearly not used to breaking into secured facilities if he's planning to leave after confirming only one thing while this far in.

"Now hold on if it's a lost cause why did they lock the man up? Doesn't the spell that would have turned him also turn him loyal to the demon lord?"

"Woman thank you very much, I didn't go into special forces expecting normal situations, and it's a lot less disorienting for me if you make it easier. But as to answer the question something went wrong with the spell, and it didn't annihilate my memories completely, the first thing I did and the first thing I'll do again if I ever see the bitch is try and kill her with a shovel."

"Oh great! We came at the call of an insider who said that the failed assassin of the demon lord would be able to provide information on it, can you tell us?" That would explain a lot except for the part where an insider is a thing, didn't they just worry about the whole loyalty thing?

"Not before you open this cell, I have been stuck here for a month too long, and I do not feel like staying longer." Gaston actually gestures the team together before Jeanne can let me out or Pierre can go off on his own and fabricate his own idea. After about half a minute of terrible whispering between the group they decide to let me out.

As I'm out I immediately move to my neighbor's cell and give him a smug grin and stare at him, he looks baffled for a while before finally scowling and speaking up.

"Fine you win, I Jimmy hereby acknowledge you Esstrey as simply better than me at escaping and would like to formally request my release." That felt nice, especially after that bastard refused to teach me anything related to magic that wasn't magic resistance or death magic as he found other magics 'distasteful'.

"Hey hey this wasn't part of our deal what are you doing?" Dipshit one is clearly not pleased about me releasing the creepy old man as my first act out of the cell. While his movements look professional it looks more like trained practice with swords than anything else, I am confident he would not survive an encounter with someone who would suddenly pull out years of systema training.

"Relax, this is someone who can help us with this whole prison break thing, I'll tell you all about the Queen on the way to the exit. However, for now we focus on what can be done rather than said."

After I open Jimmy's cell he slowly slumps out, and I get a little more entertainment from seeing the old man step out of his cell for the first time in probably a decade. I don't spend too long enjoying the sight as I move to my next target I stand eye to eye but a safe distance away from Johnny. Who had his face pressed against the bars for a while now.

"More friends of yours? I hope you aren't planning on releasing that one too." Pierre said it like it's a joke, but I can smell the small amount of fear coming off him as he says it betraying his worries.

"No, not yet." As I reach for Johnny and...

Slam him repeatedly on the bars breaking his face and killing him. The Dipshit two and three flinch, Dipshit one puts his hand on his weapon, Jeanne gives a high-pitched yelp while Pierre empties his bowels and Gaston fully draws his sword, As I drop the corpse of Johnny to the ground I turn to the group.

"None of you have still told me how old you are." The Dipshits quickly calm down, but the French trio is rather distressed at the sight of the dead maneater.

Gaston looks about ready to yell at me, but Pierre interrupts him. "We are all roughly fifteen or sixteen years old."

I turn my gaze unto the Dipshits while letting my words drip with venom. "Conscripting kids now are we? You guys are awfully desperate while last time I was at the palace you still had plenty of resources to buy experienced mercenaries instead."

Gaston defends the trio seemingly on instinct. "There is a prophecy that heroes from another world would save humanity, we have to do this for the good of all." Ah, I see how it is.

"Well then, it's odd to meet those who follow in my trail I can tell you right now that you should leave this to the locals."

It's actually Jeanne that speaks up at this. "We fight for our friends, and we have the power to help people! We need to do this!" Need to? Has she gone nuts?

"I don't remember my name you know." The French trio go through various states of confusion while I see the Dipshits wince at my words with a hint of... pity?

"My team is dead, I landed in a prison made to contain dangerous individuals and I cannot remember the faces of my parents. I remember my mother chastising me for wanting to join the army, but I don't remember her face or her voice. You kids seem like pussies and should think a little more before deciding to fight and die for someone else."

There is some silence before Pierre speaks. "We came with an entire classroom you know, we can't avoid fighting for someone else."

Well then they are fucked. You know what I am not going to deal with this crap. I tell Jimmy to use his magic on Johnny and release all prisoners. If I'm gonna break out of this place it won't be done quietly.

"He's a necromancer? Why do you consort with such vile magics former hero? We need to strike down the necromancer at once!" Fucking hell I do not want to deal with this right now. At least with the way he talks it confirms the Dipshits are royal guards or something along those lines.

"Then arrest him once he gets into human territory or did you forget that we aren't in your fancy pants palace where all the things you face are backstabbing nobles? This is now a military operation and as such I decide we will be applying scorched earth on the entire prison to cover our tracks."

Jimmy who was watching the entire exchange cannot hold back his glee as it becomes clear he already killed Jimbo while no one was looking. At least someone around here knows when it's a good idea to start destroying shit.