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Apostle of Sin [Overhaul]
Chapter 38 - Dilemma of an Unconsenting Father

Chapter 38 - Dilemma of an Unconsenting Father

Chapter 38 - Dilemma of an Unconsenting Father

Listening to Gadeun’s story, Jae realised just how screwed up the Seronian royal family was.

“That’s just... Why would they push the responsibility onto you? The bandits were the ones at fault. The princess was even healed back to normal, right? So why...”

It was difficult to discern whether it was a common line of logic to follow in this world or if the Seronian royals in particular were another kind of horrid; either way, it couldn’t possibly leave a good taste in the mouth.

“You don’t need to feel bad for me, lad. In part, yes, the bandits are the ones who caused the ruckus. But, it was the duty of the village to provide a secure environment for the royal family to stay in and feel safe. As chief, I failed in that, and that deserves consequences. I understand that some punishment had to have been made; it’s just that I resent said punishment given.”

In truth, Gadeun should have ordinarily taken the full brunt of the punishment himself. However, due to a secret only he out of everyone in the village guarded―something that also lay within the scope of the Bahgwud chief’s responsibilities―the king ordered for him specifically to be kept alive. Of course, the punishment couldn’t be simply called off entirely, as that would make the royal family seem "soft" and "undecisive" to certain political parties. Thus, the chief’s son ended up as settlement instead.

Gadeun didn’t see the need to explain all of that additional context to Jae, though.

“Is that how it is...”

Still, it's... It sounds insane, but maybe that’s just how things work here... I guess it explains why those two from earlier didn’t seem so bothered about Rena being a Demon, as well as Gadeun himself. After all, even though the one who cut the princess’ arm was a Demon, the rest of the bandits were human―and it was a human who ordered for the life of his son...

The more Jae thought about it, the more he found himself repulsed. Even with Gadeun's explanation, it wasn't something of which he could understand the underlying logic. Was it simply the standard of behaviour for entitled people in this world, or was it something unique to Seronia?

At this point, who knows...

“Anyway... I’m sorry something like that happened.”

“Bah, don’t be. It all happened so long ago that it brings more harm to muster pointless hatred than simply looking to the future. You’ve probably lost something to them yourself, haven’t you?”

“Oh... Well, yeah.”

If you count me losing my life, then I guess so...

“Anyway, it’s not all bad these days.” Working a small grin onto his face, Gadeun gestured with his thumb towards one of the house's closed doors.

“I have a new boy I’m looking after now; name's Bailey. Abandoned here by his adventurer parents, see―There’s a lot of such cases, since apparently, my Bahgwud is quite the handy place if you happen to have a child to get rid of. That’s why, I’ve recently decided to start working on building an orphanage in the next few years.”

Jae’s eyes naturally widened upon hearing the news. “There are that many...?”

“Haha... Yes. Turns out, many adventurers only accept our requests because they have something to dump, and somewhere far out in the hinterlands like Bahgwud is, well, a prime dumping ground.”

“...I see.”

Parents are doing this? How irresponsible are these guys... No, wait, that’s exactly what I’m doing now, isn’t it? Well, no, I’m not a parent, so it’s different... Uh, anyway.

“I think it’s an admirable goal, even if the root cause is something unfortunate.”

At least then, the children would have somewhere to stay that was both safe and, hopefully, indiscriminate. Well, as long as Gadeun is the one running the place, I don’t think there’d be any issues in that department.

A trusting smile gradually formed on Jae’s face; he felt relieved that things could progress a lot quicker than he had expected. Softly patting Rena's head, he continued. “Anyway, I’m hoping you can look after her in the meantime while I search for the real parents. I don’t wanna take too long, so I think I should probably get goi--”

“Mmmh... muu...”

Suddenly, both pairs of eyes snapped to the source of the abrupt groaning. Noticing the girl's flickering eyelids, Gadeun spoke with a soft smile.

“It seems she’s awake.”

“Uh...”

And soon, she very much was. Opening her Soul State, Jae glanced at the changes.

Condition : [Soothed], [Confused], [Well Rested], [Anxious], [Drowsy]

The previous negative conditions such as Frightened, Distress, Tired and Heavy Confusion had all but vanished in place of statuses that were far more relieving to see.

Really, it’s great and all... But what do I do?

“Mmh...?”

Near silence enveloped the room as Rena rubbed her blurry, sleep-ridden eyes. Finally, she opened them wide enough to see the world before her, revealing a pair of crimson eyes so bright they seemed to radiate a faint light. Being that her head was right below Jae’s face looking down at her, the first thing she saw was simple.

“......”

“......”

Neither said anything to the other, even as the girl slowly raised herself up and sat by his side. There, she continued to bore a hole into his head with incessant staring.

Uh... I-Is there something wrong with my face...?

Feeling a level of pressure that was somehow comparable to what he felt from Aphy, Jae glanced at Gadeun for help, who just sat there, smirking.

What? Hey. No, come on... I don’t know how to deal with children...

Unable to bear the oppression of the subtly glowing rubies, Jae was about to open his mouth to say something when, thankfully, Gadeun acted first.

“Good morning, young lady.”

“!!”

Rena flinched as if noticing him for the first time. Clearly anxious, she turned a wary gaze towards Gadeun and tugged Jae’s arm to hide behind; immediately, he noticed something.

She’s trembling...

Presumably, it stemmed from the trauma of what she had gone through. Shooting a subtle glance at Gadeun, he flashed a smile and began to speak slowly to not make her jump. “Hello. Can you understand me? My name is Gadeun. Yes?“

“......”

Seeing no visible change in her overalert demeanour, he nodded in understanding.

“...You must be hungry after everything. Please wait for a moment and I’ll be back with food and drinks.”

Again, the door closed behind him with a click, seemingly causing the anxious girl to calm slightly. Watching her quietly sigh, Jae thought to himself. She must know I’m not human somehow, right? That’s why she acts so comfortably towards me compared to Gadeun. Hm. Is it possible to sense mana at that age? It must be her Spirit blood... Or, is there something else? I don't get why she keeps staring at me...

Before he realised it, Rena resumed staring straight at his face, to which Jae could only smile awkwardly. Not wanting to stay in such an uncomfortable silence the entire time, he was about to speak, when...

“■■■?”

She spoke a single, incomprehensible word.

Oh... Right, she wouldn’t be able to speak Seronian, huh... Hah. Duh. Then, let’s see. Ah, since mental communication doesn’t utilise language in the same way speaking does, will Aphy’s method work?

Concentrating for a moment, Jae mustered a floating string of magic energy in the air. Perhaps curious, Rena’s eyes sparkled as her attention was immediately drawn towards it. Grabbing onto the string of mystery, a voice suddenly spoke inside her head.

[Hello?]

“!!”

Jolting, Rena turned her gaze suspiciously. Her thoughts were transferred to the other.

[Who are you...?]

This was a method of communication described most simply as Telepathy, and it was also identified as such by the Status. It wasn’t the same form of Telepathy that Aphy used, but one that focused on transmitting ‘meaning’ rather than the words themselves, allowing the caster to communicate with those of other languages and in some rare cases, even monsters.

The underlying problem with this method was the sheer amount of focus and constant mana it took to uphold, as well as the short effective range and the fact you could only communicate with one target at a time... But, in terms of the former, Jae was not one to lack in either, and as for the latter, well, there was only Rena who he needed to talk to right now.

It works! Thank, er, Aphy?

It was at this moment that Jae felt fully grateful to his past self for spending the time to learn and ingrain this method into his arsenal, as well as to Aphy herself for teaching him, of course.

In any case, with worry apparent on her face, Rena looked to Jae for reassurance at the emergence of a disembodied voice, to which he patted his chest twice and smiled.

[It’s me.]

“■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■!?”

She burst out as if in desperation, but of course, her words were indecipherable.

Y-yeah, I can’t understand a thing when it’s like that... Ah, hey, don’t look at me with those eyes...

[Uh, Rena? Please, try and calm down for just a moment, okay? I can’t understand you when you speak out loud, so can we talk using this?]

The string gently waved about by itself in the air alongside the question. Slowly, Rena’s panic waned as she realised what was going on.

[Yes...]

[Good. Now, are you feeling okay?]

Everything seemed alright judging by her Soul State, but there was nothing wrong with confirming that by asking directly.

[......]

Receiving no response, Jae’s expression turned complicated.

Nothing...? It's still working, right? Oh, wait. Even if she knows I’m not human, it’s probably a stretch for her to just trust me off the bat, isn’t it...

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[Listen, Rena. I know it’s confusing, and I don’t expect you to trust me. But--]

[No...]

[Excuse me?]

[Um, are you my Daddy...?]

“Da--”

What!?

[No, no no no no. I’m not your dad. Alright? But, I am going to look for your parents, and in order for me to find them, I need you to stay here for a while. Is that okay? At least, the person in charge of this house is a good person, so you’ll be alright here. Do you understand?]

[But you must be Daddy...]

“???”

What the hell is she talking about?

[No...? Listen. I’m not your dad. Why do you think that?]

It’s obvious just by looking at the Soul State, isn’t it? Spirit/Demon? I’m neither of those, so how can I be her father? It sure as hell isn't me, so where is she getting this idea from?

[Mama said Daddy was young, nice, strong and kind!]

“No...”

You’ve got to be kidding, right...? Is her mother a-- No, sorry, that's rude. Stop it.

“Haaa...”

[What do you mean by 'nice and kind'? Did your, uh... ’Mama’, say they were different qualities?]

[Mhm! Nice is nice and kind is kind!]

“No, that’s-- Oh, my god...”

Covering his face with a palm, Jae took a moment to calm himself and think. Gadeun had purposely left to give the girl some space to open up, but now she had opened up too much.

So, she doesn’t even know her own father. What does that mean? It means, unfortunately, that she thinks I’m her father. For some reason? Anyway, on the bright side, if her mother is the only one taking care of her, it means I only have to find her and probably don't have to worry about finding her real father... Hopefully. Actually, if she thinks I'm her father, then finding her real dad is probably a bad idea. I don't want to get killed for something stupid like that...

There were a lot of questions, but none of them were answerable at the moment. If he thought about it, a lot of them didn’t even really matter, anyway.

Right... What matters now is to find her mother and return her... And, to stop the delusion that I’m her father. If she’s convinced of that, and I leave her here anyway while I go look for her mother, that would do more harm than good. Besides, it’s irresponsible... And what would her mother say in response to that? That wouldn't be any better... Damn it. Why is this happening...?

For someone who had rarely dealt with children before, Jae didn't even know where to start.

Seriously, it's like taking a person who had never swum and throwing them into the pool's deep end... What am I even supposed to do...?

Creak~!

Rather abruptly, the door Gadeun previously disappeared through, opened once more with his return.

“!!”

Predictably, Rena jumped behind Jae’s arm again and held up the fur blanket in front of her like a makeshift shield.

Click-!

Closing the door quietly behind him, Gadeun smiled wryly at the girl’s actions as he approached the table with a wooden tray.

“Is everything alright in here? I heard a raised voice just a while ago.”

Already exhausted, Jae sighed. "Well... There’s a bit of an issue, but... Hopefully, it’ll be fine...”

Glancing to Rena beside him and noticing her slight tremors, he felt sympathetic towards her evident fear.

[Hey. What’s wrong? He’s friendly, you know?]

[Mmn... Human...]

“......”

...Maybe it’s lucky that I turned out to be an Undead after all. If everyone here was human when she woke up, I can’t imagine anything good would happen... It must be stressful.

Before she had woken up, Jae didn't even consider her reacting like this, but in hindsight, it should have been obvious.

[Then, what race do you think I am? I look human too, don’t I?]

Hearing the question, Rena turned to face Jae and tilted her head.

[I don’t remember what Daddy is. Daddy isn't a Demon or a human, though. That's silly.]

Silly? Are you trying to say it's silly that I would be human? Oi, this girl...

[Is that what Mama said?]

[Mm! Mama said Daddy is comfy too.]

Oh, that’s something new. Comfy. Isn’t that just because of the blanket?

[How do you know if I’m comfy or not?]

[Mama said I’ll know.]

“Hm...”

Having laid the tray on the table, Gadeun took his seat. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh... For now, yeah. It’s just... Things are more complicated than I thought.”

“I see. Well, I’ll let you get on with it. Do let me know if you require anything, I'll be here.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Maybe I was wrong about the mother... Let’s see.

[Rena, can you tell me everything Mama said about Daddy?]

Nodding her head, she began to lift her fingers one-by-one.

[Mama said Daddy was strong, nice, kind, comfy, looks young, not Demon and not human, has loooots of mana, and can see into souls... That’s eight things!]

That's a lot of specification... See into souls, huh―That’s the indicator of a Spirit. Then, why does she think it’s me? I can't do th-- No, she can’t sense me using Envy on her, right...?

[Really? Well, I can’t see into souls. I’m not all that strong, either. So, I can't be your dad, right?]

Arguing that I don’t have a lot of mana is pointless. So, let’s see how you respond to this--

[Daddy, why are you lying?]

“...Huh.”

This girl... is tricky.

[I’m not your dad. Also, how do you know if I’m lying?]

There’s no way she can discern whether or not I’m telling the truth just like that, is there? I’ve never heard of Spirits having that ability...

[Umm... I don’t know. But Daddy is strong!]

[Er... Right. Then, what about the ‘soul-seeing’? How do you know if I can do something like that?]

Jae folded his arms as though he won something, but Rena stated it simply.

[I felt it.]

Of course... Well, she is a Spirit, so I should have expected it. It’s not the first time Envy was detected, anyway... Faintly recalling the first ‘boss’ he had ever encountered, the Goblin Lord, Jae barely held himself back from frowning.

[Sure. But, just because I can do that, it doesn’t mean I’m your dad, alright? I'm not even a Spirit, so there's no way I could be.]

[Hrmm... But Mama said I would know if I met Daddy.]

No, what?? Did she really? That’s way too ambiguous; how is a child supposed to know that? I’m even denying it straight up, so why...

“Haa... Why is this happening...?”

“Jae, are you sure everything is alright? You seem quite troubled.”

“Gadeun... She’s convinced that I’m her dad. I don’t know what to do.”

Please, if you have some kind of advice or wisdom, tell me.

“Oh... Is that all?”

“Yes... What? What do you mean, ‘is that all’?”

Strangely, Gadeun looked like he could laugh, but simultaneously as if he was taking the issue seriously.

“Hm. It’s not possible to take her with you? That would solve two problems with one move, wouldn’t it?”

“That’s...”

Of course, I could take her along with me, but even if I’m strong, looking after a child while wandering through the wilderness isn’t at all within my expertise. I’m fine because I can survive off monster meat, but a normal girl like her would need proper meals... Well, things could be different because she’s mixed Spirit-Demon, but I don’t have that kind of knowledge. Besides, I’m not so irresponsible as to bet her life on it, even if she wanted to follow me.

It was entirely possible for Jae to look after Rena if he tried―he could feed her if he cooked food he knew was edible, he could protect her from threats and he could even build shelters for her during the night. Be that as it may, however, it didn’t answer any of the other problems, like finding her mother or even something like education, which was something Jae knew well he wasn’t qualified to do.

He thought she should have as “normal” a childhood as possible, at least to compensate for the fact she was already taken from her home.

Anyway, if I can focus, it’s easier to look by myself as long as I know where to start. Taking care of a kid isn’t my thing; it’s better to leave that to people who are better suited for it.

Maybe Jae truly believed in the reasons he was stating; maybe he truly thought it would be better for Rena to stay under the care of someone else, for her sake.

Maybe, afraid of the responsibility, he was simply listing various excuses to avoid it.

Maybe it was something else entirely, or maybe it was a mix of both.

Either way, he simply wasn’t comfortable with the idea of taking the girl with him. The thought of it wasn’t necessarily displeasing, but his mind was made up, as if he had already ruled it out from the beginning.

And so, having made such a decision before anything could convince him otherwise―

“...I can’t.”

―He could only deny Gadeun’s question.

“The only thing I’m worried about in regards to leaving her here now is that she’ll grow up thinking her father abandoned her... Even if I come back later with her mother, I don’t think that kind of impression is the thing that just goes away.”

And that doesn't even include any of the other risks I'll be taking.

“...Having observed many of the abandoned children grow up here, what you say may be true. Although... No, never mind.”

“I thought that would be how it was...”

Man... It’s hypocritical of me to say, but leaving her here just like that really leaves a bad taste in my mouth... It just doesn’t feel good at all... Haa, whatever. The longer I stay, the harder it’ll get to leave. Let’s just ask first and quickly go.

[Rena, can you tell me about Mama? I don’t know where she is, but if I know, I can take you to her? Or bring her here.]

[Mama is... The strongest and kindest!]

[Right... But, what about location? Where does she live?]

[Home!]

[...Uh-huh. And where is home?]

Please, just give me a place name and make this easy...

[Ummm... Home is the big castle!]

[Oh? A castle?]

Well, that shouldn’t be too hard to find, right? A Demon’s castle... Wait.

[Mhm! Mama, Sister Jiera, Brother Jiyeru, and, um... Lots of people!]

Demon... Royalty? It’s not just me who would assume that, right? No, what are even the chances that I'm wrong?

Glancing at Rena, who seemed full of glee as she described all the people who visited ‘the castle’, Jae couldn’t possibly rid himself of the thought.

This girl is a princess? And she was kidnapped...?

He almost facepalmed again but stopped himself.

...It’s getting way too out of hand now. How did some third-rate guys like that even manage to kidnap her? There’s no way they would be able to sneak into a castle and do something like that...

[I see~ Having so many people around sounds fun, right? Can you tell me more?]

Was it an inside job? If there was someone within the castle who helped her get kidnapped, then it would make a whole ton more sense how things arrived this far. But who would do something like that, and why...?

[Yes!]

It wouldn’t be the queen, right? 'Course not. Well, there’s no reason for her to do it that I can think of, and from the way Rena briefly described her, she doesn’t sound like a bad parent...

[Um, sister is really smart and cool, but she can be scary sometimes...]

So, it has to be someone else―Or multiple people? Could there be a plot for a rebellion or something? But then, what's the point of abducting Rena?

[Oh, and is your sister kind too?]

If the queen’s main troops are focused on finding the kidnapped princess, and that’s what her attention has been drawn to, then it would make sense why someone would kidnap her.

[Mhm!]

No, hold on a second. I’m not smart, but even I can come up with something like this. If Rena’s family are smarter than me, which, speaking realistically, they should be, then surely they would have already figured everything out, right?

[My brother too! And he has lots and lots of big dogs! And he got me a puppy!]

If I think about it, they would know a lot more than I do, so they should know the situation even better.

[Ah~ That’s really nice of him, isn’t it?]

Urgh, whatever. I'm getting way too sidetracked. None of this matters right now, and there’s nothing I can do about it anyway. At the very least, I know exactly where I need to go. It doesn’t seem very safe even at home, though, so maybe I’ll just go there and resolve the situation myself.

It was a lot of progress to narrow the scope down to the exact person he needed to find―that is, the Demon Queen―but, Jae still had no idea where the Demons even lived.

But, that was an easily solvable problem.

“Gadeun, do you know where the Demon royalty live?”

“Royalty, is it? Well, I'll tell you, having lived out here my whole life, I’m not as educated as a city man. Still, it should be wherever the capital city of the Demons is, no? As far as I know, Asphal is east of here; once you get there, anyone you ask’d be able to tell ya.”

“I see... Thank you.”

Asphal? I don’t know what that is, but I guess it must be close to where the Demons live.

“Then, I should leave before it gets too late. I’ll leave some gifts before I go as an apology.”

Without warning, Jae stood up, prompting an exclamation from both Gadeun and Rena.

“My, you’re leaving already? It’s perfectly alright if you stay the night, you know?”

[Daddy...?]

She still hasn’t dropped that...

He watched the bulging, crimson eyes of the girl staring holes into his skull. But, even facing such an adorable, puppy-like expression, Jae had to steel his heart.

“Sorry. It’ll get difficult if I stick around any longer.”

“......”

Noticing the bowl of gruel-like food on the tray―perhaps prepared for Rena who likely hadn't eaten well during her 'journey' over―Jae’s eyes rolled over the rest of the room as he stepped away from his seat.

Maybe I should make them something before I go. I have some spare ingredients on me...

“...Jae. Actually, regarding your concerns...”

“Yes? About the father-daughter thing, right? It’s fine, I’ll just... have to sort it out at a later date. It’s not like I’m actually her dad anyway, and she’ll come to realise that eventually. It'll be fine as long as I'm quick.”

“No, what I mean is that I have something that may be able to solve the problem entirely for you.”

“...What, really?”

Suddenly, Bahgwud’s Chief said something strange.