Episode 5

Having said that, I got out of the carriage again. It hadn't occurred to me because I had too much on my mind, but speaking of attracting attention, this was a royal carriage. I had to fix that.

My little friend Plague had started the job by adding a few scratches. That's all right.

I finished it by ripping every bit of gold or anything that glitters off the top.

It should be enough to go unnoticed. If it weren't for the fact that I'd be riding along with a person who looked a hell of a lot like the princess of whatever kingdom it was.

Anyway...

I'd find her a blanket or something? I would improvise. I hit the horses with the reins or whatever they called it, starting the ride.

Yeah. It really couldn't be that hard, could it?

I got out of the carriage and admired the fruits of my efforts.

“Yes, it wasn't so hard.”

I had parked the carriage inside a tree trunk. Half of the carriage was gone, its pieces scattered on the side of the road, the horses had bolted while screaming.

“How did you screw up so badly?” Plague asked with the most human tone and inflection yet. Progress? Progress.

“Life always finds a way.”

“What?”

“Meaning: I don't know man, leave me alone. Fuck's sake.”

I had destroyed the carriage and, even if it were otherwise, the horses had escaped. So we had no choice but to continue the search for civilization on foot. Perhaps it was better that way.

However, the silence began to make me uncomfortable.

It wasn't hard to see why. I had been going from one shit to another continuously. No time to think. This was a first. I had never been good at reflecting on myself, just doing what needed to be done.

I wasn't going to start now. I didn't want to start now.

But it was hard not to think about certain things.

“You know, I had... I have a sister.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

That creature wasn't very friendly. Shocking.

“Because some kind of tentacle monster is the closest thing I have to someone to talk to, all right?”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

I didn't know what thing I had that passed for a brain, but it should be obvious that if I could tell any other person, literally any other person (well, Plague wasn't any kind of person to begin with) I would.

“I have a sister. Her name is Angela, and... Oh, God. I'm really worried about her. Part of me hopes she hasn't learned of my death yet.”

It wasn't unlikely, considering the nature of the business I was in. A lot of people like me ended up sleeping with the fishes and no one ever saw them again. It wasn't like she didn't know, my little sister, so she'll assume the worst if I disappeared off the face of the earth. No, she would assume the worst even if she didn't know what I did for a living.

She knew I would never leave her alone.

“But what's the point? This isn't a fight to get back at her.” That was the crux of the matter, the worst of it. I had taken what was offered, but it was leftovers. “I'm dead and nothing is going to change that. I'm fighting to, maybe, just maybe, see her after she dies too.... If I don't end up in hell.”

I had done bad things. Even in this world it was hard to say that I had started off on the right foot. I had tried to save the princess, sure, but the fact was she was dead. No one gave a shit about intentions, only results. I knew that. If God had made men in his image, then that would be true for him as well.

“Then I'll never see her again and.... Aren't you going to say anything?”

“Do you want me to say something?”

Worst of all, it was a real question. It didn't sound like sarcasm, like it was mocking me. This thing just looked like a human. It wasn't human.

It had even warned me beforehand that it would only accompany me and help me until we found my soul, then it would stab me in the back.

I had to keep those things in mind and be prepared. I hadn't had much luck in killing it the first time. I had thought not once but twice that I had succeeded, and it had gotten up again as if nothing had happened.

I had to start thinking now about how to make sure it fell. Or this thing would devour my soul and doom me to oblivion.

“I... I don't know. Okay, shut your mouth. I will too.”

We kept walking in no particular direction. Seriously, Death or whatever, how did he expect me to solve this mess if he wasn't even willing to give me a starting point? Until I saw a map of the world, I couldn't be sure of the exact size, but I doubted it was smaller than Planet Earth. This went beyond even finding a fucking needle in a fucking haystack.

I turned around, sword in hand.

I couldn't solve many of the problems I faced. But at least one I could, right now.

“Look. Will you at least let me cut your hair?”

“Why?” Plague didn't even stop, so I ended up walking backwards with the sword, feeling really stupid. Feeling like a brat running around with scissors.

“You're very frustrating, you know?” Didn't care about anything, but had questions for everything and zero answers. “I told you. We need to lay low. Just haircut and different clothes go a long way.”

I knew from experience. I'd had to blend in more than once. I wasn't particularly proud, but when your life depends on it, you learn anything fast.

Or you die.

Or you die, of course.

“But I don't want to.”

“Why? Why, genius?”

What did it think would happen if I walked into the nearest town or city next to what looked like the princess, with a dirty, blood-stained dress?

Hell, for all he knew this could be the princess of an enemy country and what would happen would be that they would put the noose around both of our necks.

Or at least try to, of course.

“I'm fine like this.”

This moron surely considered that an answer. Hell.

“Hey, did you see that?” I pointed a finger behind the thing, opening my eyes and mouth wide. Exaggerating perhaps too much, but it didn't notice.

Plague instead turned around, scanning the surroundings for threats.

And I grabbed it by the hair and cut it off in one swift swipe.

“Ha. I got you, bitch.”

She returned my gaze in silence. A silence that soon became more uncomfortable than it had been at the beginning.

“You're angry, aren't you?”

“I'm... contemplating the necessity of your existence. But I'm hungry.”

“Okay. Priorities.”

“Priorities.”

Episode 5: FIN