Roses rained through the air like snow, painting a scene of transcendent beauty that is rarely seen.
They continued to fall for what seems like hours as this scene danced through the moonlight and made me fall into a trance.
Suddenly, something wet touched my cheek, shocking me out of my daze.
Looking around in confusion I realised for the first time that the roses where covered in red paint-no, blood. By chance one had brushed by and painted me with the familiar sensation, stopping my trance. Suddenly the ‘beauty’ of the scene was replaced with horror as I stared at the roses painted red with blood dripping from the sky and the ground threatening to drown me in them.
Struggling I desperately tried to claw my way to the surface as the thorns cut into my skin and the blood threatened to drown me with that ever sickly sweet smell roses produc making me so nauseous it was a miracle I didn’t pass out.
Crying, I slipped backwards off the wall of thorns into the sea of them below. While falling time seemed to slow down and I stared at the moon, my panic disappearing and only despair replacing it. I wouldn’t die. It would hurt but I would survive… atleast for a few hours, days if I was unlucky. After that, the blood loss, pain or the blood drowning me would claim my life and I would be no more, dying pitifully and painfully in some forgotten hole.
Then suddenly everything changed, a slender hand reached out and grabbed me, making the horror around me spill away like water. She was like a goddess when she saved me and I never felt more emotional then that one moment, being something that could never flee from my memory.
But it was only later I found out what price she had paid to save me.
Digging desperately through the wall of thorns she had scarred her face and hands horribly, all to save me…
And because of that I had ruined her life…
In a world of wolves I had given her a glaring weakness, her scars, to paint her as a target. No matter how powerful her pack or how loyal her friends, the numbers where overwhelming and eventually, they dragged her down, tearing her to shreds in the process…
And that is when I snapped.
They had killed my saviour, my goddess, my sister! I would kill them all!
But I was weak.
The only thing I could do was collapse their packs one by one, tearing and burning their futures and picking them off from the shadows once no one was watching by using the food my pack had an abundance of to lure the desperate into murder. I got my revenge but I was never happy with it. In fact, it only made me angrier…
My pack feared me so they ran away. They abandoned me because I was the Alpha and dared to do what my pack should have from the beginning. Cowards, hypocrites, betrayers…
Why do you abandon me?
All I wanted…
All I wanted was to take from them what they took from us…
And yet it was you cowards that let them take from us that where the first to run…
I hate you… mother… father…
Why did you let her die?
----
I woke up crying. It was that dream again, the one that simplifies my entire life down into a natural ecosystem instead of a complicated and disgusting abomination called civilisation.
In a way it felt unnaturally correct to the point where I can barely remember the truth but yet the scene where she reached through the thorns and saved me was still as clear as day. Blood trailing over her body like crazy and tears streaking out of her eyes, she smiled with relief as she ignored the pain and hugged me to her tightly.
My heart ached at the memories and my rage burned for release but eventually I just settled down to stare out the windows in a daze while letting the memories flood over me like a broken dam.
Everything was my fault. I was the reason my sister got scarred and ostracised by the vicious creatures called humans and I was the reason her bright life of fame, popularity and happiness was turned into despair, loneliness and pain. If she didn’t save me then she never would have had to die.
‘If you where to die, do you really think I would have a reason to live anyway?’ She asked one day after I confronted her about it.
Ever since then I lived only to be her sole reason of living. Everything I did, every action I took and the undivided love I gave was all for her. Somehow, I managed to keep her for almost five years and she was just beginning to look like she could pull through and get her life back on track.
But then she came.
And within two weeks, my sister was dead.
In the rare moments of having my own mind after it happened, I used my family’s wealth and influence to collapse everyone’s family who had hurt my sister and then bait scum into targeting them. In the end, she was the only one left. The one I couldn’t touch.
Oh how gleeful I felt when she got caught up in a car bombing and had half her face melted off. Everything was returned to her and within months she was forced to do what she made my sister do to herself by those she considered friends. That was the only day I had been truly happy since my sister died.
After that, I slowly spent years recovering as I lived without a purpose. Depression took hold for the first time now that my one-tracked mindset of revenge had loosened and I was overcome with despair. But I deserved it. This is what my sister felt, I deserve to feel this when I was the cause. I knew I was an idiot for it since logic would never tell me to do such a thing but somehow I had survived due to that notion.
Slowly, I began to feel a hollow sense of happiness again as friends entered into my life and pets were bought for me and I continued to live day by day and year by year until eventually the world changed and the haze covering my mind was lifted. I was free and I was happy about being free.
But I still had the guilt that told me I shouldn’t be free when it was my fault.
Pushing it aside and having it effect me in the background rather then deal with it I continued on in this apocalypse as if I where a new person but now… I let it all flood me at once.
Much later I opened my eyes and smiled softly.
“You really spoil me sister…” And like that, I was once again crying.
‘Sis loves you no matter what so be happy for sis or sis won’t be happy.’
A single phrase had seeded itself into my mind, once forgotten but now burned in so permanently even death might not erase it.
“I must have made you so sad these last few years. Sorry… I’ll try harder sis.”
As if the world agreed, a beautiful sunrise tore through the room and despite being created artificially from the dungeon… it brought warmth I had been lacking for a long time.
----
“Why do you bother sleeping?” Leo asked in the cafeteria as he came to eat with me. There was no need to do these sorts of things but routine and the taste just made it addictive.
“Dreams I guess?” I shrugged off.
Choosing some simple food from the NPC’s, I bought a plate of bacon, sunny side up eggs, mushrooms, some toast and a bit of black pudding on the side.
“Someone died yesterday.” He said after a while.
“Really?” I went straight to sleep after meeting the old man so I didn’t hear anything.
“Yeah. A group of three went out for levels and only two came back. Apparently they where surrounded and almost died but the guy somehow burned their own body for an explosive increase of strength. The other two survived but he was literally turned into ashes a few hours after the fight.”
“It’s not the first and won’t be the last. Atleast not all of them died, others weren’t so lucky.” It felt wrong treating death so coldly but it didn’t really effect me beyond the guilt of not being effected.
“Ah, and finally he wakes up and stops playing hero, hurray for the return of the ice prince” He said sarcastically.
“Well it’s not all bad. Around five people trickled into the city and apparently a few of them where just scouts for larger groups that will come once they report back. The numbers will kick up and defending the place will be easier, especially since they lived out there compared to these idiots holing up in a box hoping it will pass over them. Maybe it will give the others motivation to risk their lives a bit before they die from inactivity.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“How about the dwarfs?” I was curious about how they integrated.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Lea made them some forges by playing god with the money and they are fitting in nicely… well, for now atleast. People are still thinking of them like either NPC’s or monsters so there might be problems in the future.”
The future huh? I’ve been getting a weird feeling lately like I won’t be able to see this places future until, well, the future. Like I’ll leave or disappear after a while and only come back much, much later. It’s honestly scary because I don’t understand how or why I have this feeling and the implications if I’m right are massive. If not for my eyes I would dismiss it as paranoia but what really scares me about it is that I like the idea. Being alone in this world… for some reason it appeals to me. Leo, Ally, Page, Tiny, Mini, the old man, it’s like I could happily abandon them all other then tiny. That’s definitely not like me.
I even love Ally but yet I could abandon her? What bullshit is that? Being abandoned is what I hate most.
----
Time flew by and the feeling got stronger.
To distract myself from it I threw myself into fighting and training as I grew at a stupid rate.
By the end of the month I could travel freely in the seventh ring and venture into the eighth with caution and if I had used my stat points there is no way my progress would be so slow.
The old man has already given up disbelief and has instead layered every bit of knowledge he can onto me. Now, I’m at a level of general knowledge that even without him I’d be able to improve, though naturally with him will be faster.
At the last second before the raid I officially entered the next rank.
[Status Card]
Name: Jean Paradox
Rank: Novice
Age: 17
Affinity(s): Chaos (100%), Blood (75%), Mana (23%), Wind (40%), Fire (11%), Spatial (3%), Lunar (17%), Crystal (10%), Life (15%), Cloud (15%), Rose (60%).
Mutated Affinity(s): Rose - Devine White (100%), Cloud - Purple Void (100%), Lunar - Blood Eclipse (100%), Crystal - Life Shard (100%).
Special: Void Connection.
Teacher: Dean Patios.
Other: Origin Guild Leader, Valued Talent.
With
[Achievement: First to reach novice rank!]
[Average Enhancement: Mana Sense!]
As my reward.
It basically just enhances my sense of mana by a lot passively and helps my ability to understand it’s movements but isn’t so helpful overall. I’ve learnt not to trust my senses so much now and I could do this even before I got the enhancement so it’s not really so great.
On the bright side the extra magicians dispatched because of my rank upgrade would help with the defence. It wasn’t anything major but they where reinforcing the walls to help force the monsters into the choke point.
The gates where opened behind a group of elites where hundreds more people and NPC soldiers waited for the stragglers just in case.
Honestly I over-estimated the threat because I didn’t realise there where different rings at the time so we should be able to hold on fine, especially with… that.
Glitch has been really cold lately, merely saying the things I am entitled to know rather then seeking out conversations and joking along with me. No matter how much I try to be friendly we’re stuck at this. Before he would have given words of encouragement right now but instead he is completely silent unless I ask anything. His mood swings are confusing.
Leo has been keeping close but I can tell he’s hiding something from me and whatever it is, Ally is in on it. Our relationship feels the same but knowing there’s something between us makes it strained and I’m not sure how to react. It’s the first time since we became friends something like this has happened and I never had any friends like them before them to draw experience from.
Tiny got cuter.
Mini decided to die after all and left a little tree in the magic guild by the guild leaders permission.
And Lea barely even speaks to me.
Page is probably the only one things feel the same with but due to her impatience and childish curiosity I rarely see her lately as my training schedule is boring.
‘Maybe this feeling is just a growing doubt of not belonging? Maybe I’ll just leave by myself eventually?’ I thought to myself rather pitifully before dismissing it. Just because Ally and Leo are keeping secrets doesn’t mean I would leave. That was just a stray thought that forced it’s way into my head, a flame that only burnt for a second. So much for happy thoughts huh? I’m already sinking into stupid feelings after less then a month.
“You’ll be my stress relief” I whispered to the oncoming hoard.
Shooting forwards I instantly entered a slaughter. I could take care of this horde single handily now but there would be stragglers.
Hours, and hours, and hours… I slaughtered freely with the others to back me up and a small army to kill the stragglers that got past.
“Everyone retreat back for recovery, I’m activating the formation.” Lea ordered as we all pulled back.
Suddenly I watched a wall of flames appear and engulf the horde before enlarging until it covered several kilometres. With my area sense, I could still see them running into the flames mindlessly due to the raid mechanics overriding their self-preservation instincts. I could have went on but others where tiring so this was our crowd control method.
Silently, I watched as they burned. Something about the scene was beautiful despite the morbidity of it.
“Hey Ally… I love you.”
Over the sounds of battle, only she heard due to her training in augmenting her senses and before she could react, like a coward, I walked into the sea of flames to drown away the nervousness and frustration by killing the burning tide.
Unexpectedly, I found myself crying as such simple words reminded me that she was the only one other then my sister I have loved.
Luckily the flames obscured them and destroyed the evidence.
For now, I will slaughter.
Sorry for being a coward.
----
“You bastard, don’t drop something like that on me in the middle of battle and then run away!” Ally was fuming as she had me pinned to the wall.
“I’m sorry” I smiled weakly.
I felt rather helpless about the situation.
“Stop smiling! You and your fake assed smiles are so annoying! Always trying to put others over your own damn feelings by smiling nicely and ignoring your own problems, what the fuck is wrong wi- wait never mind, why the fuck did you have to say that then of all times!? Do you know how much that threw me off!? And then you just ran away!!! Your such a bastard!”
“I-“ Before I could speak she cut me off.
“I don’t care what you have to say for yourself. That was a low move and you know it and I refuse to pity and forgive you because of some sob story. Bastard.”
She was beginning to calm down and her face got slightly red but it was like she was physically forcing the blush down. I didn’t even realise that was possible.
“So I guess that’s a rejection then?” I asked as passively as I could despite the beating heart and burning pain asking caused.
“Maybe.” She stormed out leaving me confused in the small room she cornered me in.
----
Short, awkward interactions.
When Leo found out what happened he burst into laughter and wouldn’t stop teasing me.
What made it even worse was Ally walked right up to me one day and kissed me full on the lips saying “Don’t expect this to happen again, I was just experimenting” And stormed off. It’s been stupidly confusing.
Naturally we tried to keep it under wraps from everyone else so of course everyone knows what’s going on which only made the situation even worse. I think I would have preferred a clear rejection than this. Atleast then I’d know what the hell was going on…
----
‘Jean come here, we have an outsider, like outside the dungeon outsider, who wants to see the guild leader and refuses to talk to anyone else.’
I was surprised to say the least. It should take outsiders atleast several months to get here and yet there was one actually demanding to meet me personally? It made no sense.
‘I’ll be right there.’
We where basically texting through magic but it had a lot of limitations I won’t go over.
“Where are they?” I said as I met up with her on the bottom floor.
“IT is by the biggest waterfall. There’s no way that thing is human.” I frowned a bit. Well, almost nothing would be human by now so what was she expecting? But I’m guessing it must have looked completely different to warrant such a reaction so I didn’t comment.
It was disgusting to look at.
A red heart floating that was around one metre big with pulsating black and purple veins covering it and matted, greasy thick hair dotted in patches with rotting skin added in just for good measure. With the creepy hole cut out for it’s sharp teeth it was like looking at something straight from a horror film.
“You are the guild leader?” I winced, even it’s voice was disgusting. Glass grating together and somehow forming sound.
“Good. I have a note for you.” Ugh, did it really just vomit a note up to me? So gross…
Welcome!
Confused I looked up and saw the heart grinning as a spatial tear opened up and began to swallow me. Panicked, I sliced the heart into pieces before being sucked in and everything turning black.
----
[Ally POV]
“Hey Ally… I love you.” My heat skipped a beat before returning back several times faster then usual as I looked at his form disappearing into the flames.
Did… did he just confess and leave me here? Really? That’s… that’s… ugh!
“Bastard, get back here!” I yelled while slashing at the flames with magic.
“Ally stop! You’ll break the formation!” My brother tackled me and forced me to calm down before getting off and returning to kill the few that made it through the fire.
“Meany… I love you since we’re kids and when you finally confess to me like I dreamed of you ran away… I hate you… but I love you… dammit, bastard!” I cried silently to myself as I went back to killing to distract myself.
Idly I thought about how odd it was to be angry about the thing I fantasised about for years happening but I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything but anger at him running away.
Supressing it for so long because of how screwed up the guy I loved was mentally to the point where he never even considering love, I waited for this moment for years but then they just left me alone with my thoughts instead of hugging and treating me like a princess. Dammit. Why were my expectations so high? I’m such an idiot.
It was only an hour later that the blush hidden by the fire finally retreated.
----
“Why couldn’t you have just hugged me and apologised? If you did all of my anger would have flooded away and we could be happy.” I complained while leaning against the door to the room I finally cornered him in.
I so badly just want to hug and kiss him, never letting him leave my side… but yet this irrational anger is stopping me. Ugh, this is so frustrating!
When all I want to do is melt in your arms… why can’t you let me?
“Idiot Jean” I muttered before walking off angrily.
----
“It’s not so bad, you said maybe right? That’s better then you would usually react in that situation.” She comforted.
“Lea that doesn’t help at all” I groaned with my head buried into a pillow on her bead.
“Think about it Ally, he’s a clueless idiot when it comes to anything social, especially love, and you said maybe. Why not take advantage of that and tease him a little until your anger comes down? You can get hugs and kisses under the excuse of experimentation and then once you’ve calmed down you can monopolise him like you want to. Naturally he’ll catch on quickly due to not being an idiot by nature but you’ll get to have that for a while. Well not like I even understand your irrational anger anyway… your weird.” My eyes lit up before dimming at her last comment.
“My race change made it worse” I complained to her as my head went straight back into the pillow.
“But just the fact it was there to begin with was weird.”
“Ugh”
“Anyway just use this as a chance to calm down a bit. Everything will be fine.” Looking up at her with innocent eyes, I saw a shiver wrack her body.
“Nononono, whatever you have planned I refuse!” She called out immediately.
“Tch. I just wanted you to hook up with Theodore so I could observe and learn from it. What’s the big deal?” I complained.
“You are a terrifyingly selfish person. Please spare me.”
----
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit! I feel like my hearts beating so fast that I’ll pass out! Did… did I really just kiss him!?
Gahh I can’t take it anymore, I have to tell Lea!
“Sis, where are you going so fa-“ “Shutuporiwillcastrateyou” I said rapidly as I ran passed him in the hallway.
“Why is my sister such a heartless monster?” He was practically crying. Although he whispered I still heard and sent a small needle into his arm before continuing.
“Guess what Lea!” I burst when I finally found her.
“You stabbed your brother and terrified half the guild? I heard.” Her glare deflated me a bit. Damn rapid communication.
----
[Leo POV (ally became too scary to show her thoughts about this)]
“Are you screwing with me?” I asked unbelievingly as the book in my hands fell to the ground.
“I-I was there. O-one second he was there and the next a massive hole opened up and swallowed Jean. He managed to kill whatever the thing that did it was on the way but… what the hell do we do now?” She was panicking and in a way I was too.
“Lea that lucky bastard will be fine, I guarantee it with my manhood on the line, but we’re totally screwed. Fuck, how am I going to explain this to my sister? We need countermeasures immediately… think leo… how do I stop a crazy, psychopathic sister going on a killing spree… ugh… I got it! Lea, quickly make a prison with the guild money and trick her into it as a tour! We’ll lock her in until she calms down or even if we can’t die in here we’ll wish we could.” I said dead serious while already thinking of plans to bait her with and backups in case that one failed.
“She wouldn’t do that- umm, maybe? She wouldn’t do that right? Leo? Leo, she wouldn’t right!?!” She yelled out in panic almost crying.
“Ugh be quite! Yes, yes she would! Make the prison now and do anything you can to lure her into a cell and close it!” I snapped at her and she quietened down.
“Dammit why did I have to have such weird friends?” She cursed before storming out.
“Fuck Jean, how could you up and disappear on me? Sis is totally going to blame me for this even though I had nothing to do with it. You are a shitty best friend man.” I complained before slumping into the desk.
“Oh crap, how do I explain this to Page?” After a while a new kind of terror overtook me. Not the terror of physical harm like my sister gave me but the terror of disappointing a little girl and having her crying in front of me. She looks up to all of us but it’s only Jean she really treasures.
“I really need to bring my luck up already, this is horrible. Dammit man, you better not die or I might really be killed.”
----
“I swear I’ll beat the shit out of you when I get out if you don’t let me out now Leo.” Ally said coldly as I looked on from outside the cell.
“I’d like to say this is for your own safety sis but it’s really not, it’s for ours. Anyway please get angry at Lea, she was the closest so it was her fault.” I begged pitifully before being kicked into the wall by the girl I tried to lay blame on.
“What happened?” Ally picked up and her voice got even colder.
“Jean is gone. Some weird thing came and teleported him away and he’s gone.” Lea tried to put up a brave face but Ally just went full on psychotic.
(The following scenes are omitted due to the pure and unrestrained rage, swearing, crying, and all-round craziness of Ally’s reaction. Just for reference, it only ended when she tried to head but the cage open and knocked herself out in the process which was almost half a day later. Something about waking herself up from the nightmare as well as getting out in the process being a win-win? Her race is a little scary with their emotional attachments but saying what it is would be a spoiler. Anyway, imagine away.)
“Why didn’t you tell me he was alive? I hate you” She sniffled cutely while crying in a corner which totally went against the earlier scene burned into our memories.
“We did. Thousands of times, repeatedly, as you freaked out and refused to listen. Now do you understand why we put you in here?” Lea asked dully as her eyes had a slightly dead quality to them.
“No! I should be out there looking for him, not in some random cage!!!” She screamed immediately as we both flinched. Is she reverting? Crap.
“Ally listen to me! You know him the best out of everyone and even I know that he will definitely come back here but if your not waiting for him, what does he have to come back to!? You heard how big the world is now! He could be anywhere! The only chance we have to find him is if we wait until he comes back to us himself! So stop freaking out already!” I yelled at her, snapping. Usually I’m kind to sis so she rarely see’s this side but even she flinched at it when it came out. It meant I finally had enough.
“But everything was so perfect… I hate the apocalypse” She huddled up and began to cry.
Sighing I opened the cage despite Lea’s panic and went to comfort her.
“I’m sorry. Shh, shh, it’s okay. Cry all you want. He loves you and there’s no way that will change with his personality and he will definitely come back so don’t worry about anything. I’m sorry…”
Eventually she fell asleep after crying for hours.
The same thing has happened many times in the past but today… today was the only day I saw how truly hurt she felt.
Our parents, dog and now the guy she grew up with and loves to the point of obsession are all gone. Thrust into a cruel world with only one of her friends she knows of surviving… and a race that heightened all these emotions…
I’m sorry you had to go through so much. I’m a failure as a brother.
“Lea… let’s tell page once ally wakes up. They both need someone to rely on right now and I’m not good enough for that job…” I muttered to her while stroking the hair out of my sisters face.
I hate seeing her cry.
----
[Normal POV]
“Where am i?” I asked out into the seemingly void space.
[In trouble. A lot of it.]