The breeze was filtering through my hair. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins…

“Ack! Ouch! Owie!” Sticks were carelessly colliding with my face. The man, holding me by the collar like a battering ram, was dashing through the dense and hilly landscapes of a mist enshrouded woods that mimicked the type of temperate rainforests you’d see in the northwestern areas of the United States. My newly attained wings, which should’ve also been protruding and getting scraped to bits, had somehow instinctively curled themselves around my back, so if there was any consolation to this insanity it was that.

Why was he doing this? Well, I couldn’t really say, as he gave me the same exact reason that he gave me for why we needed to leave the isle ASAP and also for why he chucked me like I was last week’s newspaper. “Don’t you know? It’s lilydog season.”

“Well I didn’t know, and I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I just wanna be put down!” Thinking back on how the man had suddenly yanked me off the ground and took off running, I continued to harbor immense resentment towards being pushed along by life like this. Sure, I guess it was an adventure, but still; I wanted to carve my own adventure, not be dragged around without any input into the manner.

“Trust me, I get where you’re coming from, but it’s just not safe!” The man, as nonchalantly and earnestly as ever, gave me a dismissive but kindhearted response that once more showed to me that he was truly trying to help, but…

I wasn’t gonna let him off the hook just yet.

“I ask you a simple question, “Who are you?” from a place of absolute and awestruck sincerity, and your response is to shrug it off, equip me like some sort of makeshift lance, and charge forward acting like you’re about to storm the fricking Bastille! What the heck, man?! What the actual heck?!”

“Ahaha, you’re certainly something, aren’t you lass? Truth be told, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, but I think I understand. Next time, I’ll let you know before I pick you up and start running.” Clearly unperturbed by the exhaust that should have come with such a long, consistently paced run, the man simply laughed at my tantrum and kept on about his day—

Wait, did he say next time? What does he mean next t—

Whack!

Before I could finish realizing the man’s considerate inconsideracy, I was met with a giant branch making direct contact with my forehead, nearly knocking me out of the man’s clutches. Since I was being carried head first, my face was repeatedly the victim to his failed attempts to proficiently weave through the forest.

“Hey, could you at least slow down a bit?! It’s not like we’re in any immediate danger yet. Why don’t we just take it easy for now?” Realizing that reprimanding the man wasn’t working, I decided to plead with him to appeal to his sense of sympathy and reason, with the intent of regaining even slight control of the situation.

“So, you’d rather wait for danger to appear and then run? Even though you could’ve just avoided that danger in the first place? Is that it, lass?” The man, not even paying heed to my request and utterly lacking the ability to understand where I was coming from, took his turn trying to appeal to my sense of reason, ironically slowing down to more carefully select his words on why we should keep on moving quickly.

“Well, if we were in mortal danger, it’d make this whole running away thing a lot more intense and fun, wouldn’t it?” From my position, scrambling to escape a situation of certain peril was exactly what made adventure stories so adventurous, so naturally I craved a scenario like that. But the man… he was as oblivious to my wants as always.

“Ahaha! You’re hilarious, lass! What a unique outlook.” Yup, he laughed his hearty laugh—like always—and just kept on going. I was starting to doubt if this person ‘helping’ me could even hold a serious conversation if he tried. If he couldn’t, that’d certainly become a problem for me, as I planned on questioning him after this whole ordeal.

“Listen here, guy, I’m not looking for your sentiments. All I’m looking for is my very own advent—“

“Stick!”

Whack! Another stick struck me across my forehead, leaving a huge red mark in its wake.

“Thought I’d give you a little heads up this time.”

“Thanks…” And with that final and decisive blow to my face, all my rushing optimism, will to reason, and intrigue had been wholly soaked up and replaced with the purest form of sulking one could ever sulk. So, just that one time, I decided to concede to the will of life and just ride out my position in a first person luggage simulator.

The man kept dashing for upwards of fifteen minutes, never once slowing down in pace or chutzpah. Skillfully maneuvering up and down mountains, in between trees, and around thickets of thorns like it was his day job. Sadly, that job’s requirements clearly didn’t include being a professional jouster, as my face began to look more akin to a kitten’s—no, a lion’s—scratching post with the amount of scrapes and bruises covering its contours.

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But luckily for me and my face, we seemed to be nearing the end of our forest expedition, as we neared the top of an enormous mountain that we’d been climbing.

With one final hoorah, the man slid down the mountain, yelling his typical thrilled “wahoos” and “cowabungas” along the way. I was barely fortunate enough to have been angled feet first as this happened.

Upon touching down at the bottom of the mountain, I realized that the mist had all but dissipated, and I was finally released from the man’s clutches. Staggering to the ground, I became one with the moss, purposefully faceplanting in mental exhaust.

The man, now slowed to a staggering stop, took a deep breath and declared to me, “And that will conclude our relaxing dash through the woods, how you hanging up over there, lass?”

Still face down, I decided to give the man a half hearted thumbs up, so we could finally continue about our day.

✦✧✦

“Basically, there’s a giant snake-like creature called the Rapiter that lurks in those mists. Although they’re typically crepuscular, during lilydog season, they come out to hunt during the day. I’m not exactly well versed with the art of fighting while someone’s in tow, so I just figured I’d get us out of there as quickly as I could.”

It had been a good hour of additional walking since our delightful jog through the woods. On that walk, I adjusted to my body and after only a couple of dozen stumbles and tumbles, I got used to it. The whole time we followed a nearby stream that was a good amount smaller than the ones we’d encountered previously.

We were heading to the man’s home to camp out for the night when me and my horribly bruised face finally demanded answers. So, now positioned on a log by the stream, we sat next to each other talking.

“I don’t know, I kind of think it would’ve been pretty cool for you to have fought it…” Somewhat let down by the idea that I missed not only the opportunity to see a giant snake, but the chance to see a brawl with a giant snake, I idly kicked my feet around in the air in deflated anticipation. “Ugh…! I’m certainly starting to hate that I can’t genuinely grill you about making my face the wood’s personal punching bag, though.”

“ I totally get where you’re coming from. I should’ve been more careful. Sorry about that, lass, I truly am.” The man bowed his head in apology.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you are, but that just makes it that much worse, y’know? Like I said, I can’t even be mad at you.” With only the briefest moment of lament, I soon regained my energy and decided to pursue onwards. I wouldn’t let a few scratches and bruises deter me from experiencing this other world to its fullest extent! No, I needed to press onwards.

So, I derived a scheme. “You really feel bad about it, don’t you?”

“O-Of course! How many times do I gotta say it, lass? I feel bad, I really do!” In a mild frenzy, the man once more apologized; however, it was apparent from how he unintentionally averted his gaze that he was kind of getting sick of reiterating that he was actually sorry—he was, despite how he tended to act, a fully grown man, after all. I knew all of this, but I still wanted to hear it one more time.

“Perfect! Then to make it up to me, you can help me out for a bit, can’t you?” Standing up with a resolute finger pointed at the man, I stated my question as a pseudo-order. That was my scheme—

“Well isn’t that great? Our two objectives are the same then!” With a big, almost mockingly huge, grin the man leaned forward and reached out his hand to me. “I planned on helping you from the start. So, c’mon now, let’s head back to my place, grab some grub, and we can go over our plan of attack. How about it?”

“How about it, you say? I feel like you just ruined my master scheme, that’s how about it!” Upset that what I’d figured would’ve been one of my first (successful) attempts at deception, I took a quick second to pout and ridicule the man, before turning my head to face his and flashing him a coy smile. “But whatever, I’m hungry, so let’s do it.”

“That’s the right spirit! A good meal always brings people closer together, doesn’t it?”

And with that, we, as two strangers from different worlds—two people who didn’t yet even know each other’s names—temporarily intertwined our paths through life via the vessel of a firm handshake. Both now standing, we stared at each other, faces coated with the call of adventure, letting camaraderie soak in…

“Welp, since you’re so hungry… I’m gonna make this quick, alright, lass? Let’s go!” The man’s grip suddenly tightened around my hand, and I saw a childish look of mischief appear in the backs of his eyes.

“Eh? What are you—” Before I even had a chance to inquire his intentions, my fate was sealed. It was happening again.

“Forward charge!”

“No. No. No! Put me down! Put me down!” I was once more equipped as the man’s woodland luggage, as he took off sprinting.

“Onwards, to dinner!”

It took a second for me to realize. To realize that through this whole thing… I was really having fun. No, I was having the time of my life.

Despite saying I wasn’t making my own adventure. Despite my repertoire of minor injuries that I’d acquired. Despite sulking, pouting, growing irritated, and being an overall bummer of a person—overall being unlike my usual self—I was having the time of my life.

“Yeah… Onwards, to dinner! We’ve gotta beat the night!”

✦✧✦

“Psst, April! You’ve just gotta tell the class an experience that made you feel truly alive.” My classmate told me the assignment, and it seemed simple enough, so I gave her a thankful nod in response.

But when I stood up, I couldn’t think of anything. Was there anything I could say that wouldn’t be a blatant lie? Was there a single experience I could relay? That I could even think of?

✦✧✦

—Yeah, there is. There was this one time a barbaric mountain man—or rather manchild—used me as a battering ram.