Early morning the next day, Jessi had one more try to get his door code right. He squinted, trying to bring the TouchPad numbers in focus. Behind him, Alex was snickering and mimicked jabbing the pad on his back.
"Maaann, you better get this right!" Alex said, managing to sound somewhat sober, yet still loud enough to echo in the hallway.
"Jus shhh! I gotta foo-cus!" Jessis' finger hovered over the three. “Ish it three first or last?"
Alex leaned in to stare at the pad with jessi, then said, "First! No, nah last? Fuck.”
“It's the last digit." A heavily accented reply came from the right.
Both men were intently focused on the touchpad that they failed to notice that the door had opened. Both heads turned slowly to take in the person standing inside the doorway. Jessi squinted, taking in the bulky blurry form.
“You're not-" Jessi stopped with a frown of concentration. Alex finished the sentence. “Bahliah got chonky!"
"I am not Bahliah. I am Bob." Bob spoke slowly and deliberately, pointing to the apartment number above the touchpad. "You're in the wrong apartment again. This is 307. You live on the top floor in 703.”
Jessi blinked in confusion. Bahliah had a nice rent stipend, but he was sure the top floor had been outside her budget. He didn't manage to express it before a shrill voice called out from inside Bob's apartment.
"If it's that bekaar again, I'm calling Lady Ganesh!”
Not answering the voice, Bob checked his watch and sighed.
“Dammit, Jessi." Bob said in a whisper. “it's 3:11 am and you'll probably set off the building alarm. Again. C'mon. I'll get you to the right apartment.”
In just a few minutes, Bob expertly escorted the two drunk men to the correct apartment. He settled them against the wall, then put in a code on the panel. The door automatically opened.
“There you are." Bob motioned them in before turning to leave and saying over his shoulder. “Hope you survive the Mrs."
Safely inside the apartment, both men relaxed.
"Where shat new whiskey?” Alex asked, pushing past Jessi and bolting to the kitchen.
It took Jessi longer than normal to comprehend the loud crashing noise that followed.
Alex had crashed - shins first - into a wood and glass coffee table. The glass and middle brace broke under Alex's full weight coming down, but Alex sprang back up, unphased in his drunken state. Surveying the wreckage of the table, his eyes were wide.
"She moved shit again?” Jessi asked in a loud whisper.
"Bro, did you see that! Total ninja man!" Alex yelled, but quickly covered his mouth.
Both Jessi and Alex froze, staring towards Bahliah's bedroom down the hall. To their relief, it didn't open and the two men started to giggle like school girls.
Finally, Alex managed to talk around the laughter.
"Dude, how's she gonna sleep through that, but wake up like a bat out of hell if we get above 30 decibels?"
"Fuck if I kn-"
Jessi cut off suddenly, holding a finger up to his mouth and pointing. It took Alex a moment, but he went dead quiet too.
Bahliah was asleep mere feet away, on the couch. Her phone was propped up and pointing at her.
Afraid to say more, Jessi moved with more grace than Alex. He motioned for Alex to get her door, then Jessi carefully scooped her up in his arms. Easy part finished, he did his best to stand up with her. It was much easier deadlifting weights than a feral sleep demon like Bahliah.
He managed it, though he almost fell backwards on his ass. Alex let a low whistle.
"Bet that's easier without shots." He whispered from the door. "Speaking of…"
Once Jessi passed him with Bahliah, Alex ran off like a giddy child to the kitchen. Jessi found himself staring at a single bedroom with a California king bed.
Why was his stuff on one side table and hers on the other? It was like they were sharing a room or something.
Placing the still asleep Bahliah on the bed, he pulled her covers up, hit the fan on, and made sure the white noise app was running.
He gently closed the door as he went out of the room.
He was puzzled, but decided to worry about it later. There was whiskey to be had.
Alex was standing in the living room in front of the Antique Horizon. He was staring at it with two tall shot glasses in his hands. Jessi took his glass, downing the whiskey in one go and sitting on the couch.
"That is hideous." Alex took his glass, refilling it as he spoke. "No way it's that good."
This time, Alex came back with the bottle. He drank straight from it and passed it to Jessi.
"Well, it is." Jessi gestured towards Bahliah's room with the bottle. "This thing is a total trip.”
"Huh." Clearly not impressed, he continued. "Miss Princess still have that smoking ban in place?"
"Yup, but we can vape." Jessi produced a vape, brandishing like it was a prize won. "Pop Rox OG."
"Hell yas, bitch!"
Nearly half an hour later, Jessi was sprawled out on the couch while Alex scrolled through Jessi's tablet on the floor. Both had agreed that Bahliah kept it too hot and had foregone clothes. Alex insisted it was platonic, but Jessi just smirked, knowing full well it was bull crap.
"Hey, Jes," Alex was holding the tablet up to him. "Look what your wifey posted while we were out."
Alex had been doing the "bro" duty of hearting all of Bahliah's posts and commenting sweet nothings. Knowing what his part of the bargain and her special tag for his attention, Jessi took the tablet. He fortified himself with another whiskey sip.
The post was already opened up. A heavily filtered picture of Bahliah in front of their console. She was in her parent approved gaming gear, complete with makeup. Jessi chuckled to himself, wondering if her parents would figure out the makeup was a custom filter. The clothes, however, were real and he realized he had put her to bed in them.
Now, she was going to be mad about that and the table.
Sighing, Jessi took the vape from Alex and checked the timestamp. It was made fifteen hours ago. Jessi mentally added a one to his total of reasons to be mad in the morning.
Turning his attention to the text of the post, it took him several tries to comprehend her lingo when sober. It took even longer now.
[
OMG, y'all gotta peep this epic haul my #burlygameebae just blessed me with! It's straight fire and we can finally #squadup and #wreckittogether! Pfft, this gift is so lit, it's gonna take our gaming sesh to a whole new level of epicness! #couplegoals
]
Jessi stopped reading all the hashtags and went to hand the tablet back to Alex, but he was staring at the console. He tossed the tablet down on the floor next to Alex..
"It got any shooters?" Alex asked, but got a shrug in answer. "How's it work?"
Jessi carefully stood up and helped Alex to his feet. Their hands lingered together a moment. “Come on, I'll show you.”
The two sat in the Antique Horizon. The plastic seat seemed to mold itself to Jessi's bottom more than usual. He grabbed his key off the dash and inserted it. The screen glowed to life.
[
Profile Jessi Smit detected.
Guest detected. Please register as a guest.
]
At that, a panel Jessi didn't know was there popped open. There weren't more keys, but there was a stylized fingerprint.
“They gave us these keys to start it up. I guess it doesn't come with spares,” Jessi said, shrugging. Alex placed his thumb over the print. He jerked it back a second later, hissing in pain. No blood, just like their keys, however the print now glowed a ruby red.
“The fuck, bro? Am I gonna get tetanus from this junk?”
Jessi rolled his eyes. “Want me to kiss it better? Look, it didn't even break the skin.”
Meanwhile, the screen updated.
[
Guest profile created. Defaulting selection to Eon Path.
]
With that, the Sundial UI popped back up like when Bahliah and Jessi had first joined the game. Apparently you could reach this from the main screen or in the hub.
Jessi began turning the dial. His face scrunched up as he tried to remember significant dates through the booze haze.
“Let's see. That's Vietnam. There’s World War 1. Uhhh. What’s that about? Hey, Overlord, what happened March 1836 in America?”
A female voice replied, “March 6, 1836 is the date of the Battle of the Alamo in San Antonio, Texas.”
“Oh, snap!” Said Alex. “I haven't played anything in that time period. Is that like, cowboys and stuff?”
Jessi puzzled over the new voice, but settled on Bahliah messing with settings.
“Hey, Overlord, when was the old west?”
“The Old West time period is generally considered to be between 1865 and 1895.”
“Well, it's close. They had guns. Wanna go shoot some shit?”
“Hell yes!” said Alex.
They breezed through character selection, both ending up with stubbly white cowboys, the biggest difference being Jessi having a black hat and Alex a white hat.
They were given a choice of weapons. There were matchlock and caplock rifles, single-barrel shotguns only. Jessi's eyes lit up as he saw the revolvers. The only free one was the Colt Paterson revolver, which Alex chose as he couldn't spend credits as a guest. Jessi went to the anachronistic section. This part had notes.
Apparently, the more out-of-place a weapon was, the more it cost. There was the double-barrel shotgun, invented in 1875, which cost 12 credits. A semi-automatic M1 Garand, invented in 1932, cost a whopping 50 credits. They were a bit too rich for Jessi's blood.
He settled for the Colt Walker, a .44 ball improvement on the Paterson for 3 credits. The notes said it was invented in 1846, and had more firepower and reliability than the smaller caliber predecessor.
There was a general note at the bottom saying additional ammunition could be purchased with credits, as the availability of anachronistic munitions was low to non-existent.
Both pressed their hands to the screen. He watched Alex's face with some amusement, and then they were drawn in.
They found themselves standing in…
[
Jessi: is this a post office
Alex: WTF just happened?
Alex: hell if i know
Alex: it sure is raggedy though.
]
Like magic, Morty appeared in a flash of gunpowder. He had a silver metallic cowboy hat.
[
Morty: Hello again! And greetings to our guest!
Morty: Guests have limited actions. They cannot make quest decisions, but can still interact with you and the world!
Morty: As you can see, this mode has more free movement than others you've experienced.
Morty: You'll be able to shoot, fight, run, all like it's your own body.
Morty: Certain decisions will still use the thought interface.
Morty: To use it, simply think of the word Command and which command you want.
Morty: For instance, my favorite is Command: help. You'll find lots of useful information out that way!
Alex: The fuck is that?
Alex: So Microsoft…
Jessi: he's weird,but whatever
Jessi: shoo demon paperclip!
]
Morty cocked an eyebrow, and suddenly pistols were spinning in the air beside him from invisible hands. They both shot upwards, and Morty disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
[
Jessi: what happened to my buzz
Alex: woah, yeah im sober now
Alex: what kinda game does that?
Jessi: wait, i gotchu, fam
]
With that, Jessi pulled out a flask from his side and downed some of the contents, then passed it to Alex. Alex found he could move freely. He took a swig from the flask.
[
Alex: thats gotta be the worst whiskey i ever tasted
Jessi: still burns right tho
]
At this point they realized they had garnered the attention of the man behind the desk.
He let out a soft cough and said, “Y'all sure you don't want some coffee with that?”
[
Choose an option:
Take some coffee
Decline the coffee
Jessi: Take some coffee
Alex: Decline the coffee
]
“I'll have some.”
“Naw.”
There was a small wood-burning stove to the side with a battered kettle on it. The man bent down and pulled out a clay mug from below the counter, grabbed the kettle and poured some into the cup.
Jessi felt his body move automatically as he downed the scalding liquid in a gulp.
[
Jessi: fuck that's hot! and strong! not bad aside from some grounds in it
Alex: bleck
]
Inwardly Jessi grinned. Alex was more the pumpkin-spice latte sort.
“Alright, the boys should be nearly done loading you up. You've got a couple deliveries for around San Antonio, and one for the Alamo.”
He handed across a piece of paper to them, detailing which cargo went to which place.
[
New quest: Cargo Wrangling
You've been tasked with delivery supplies. It's fragile cargo and a long trip. Make sure you're prepared before leaving the outpost.
Objective:
Deliver the crates to San Antonio
Deliver the gunpowder to the Alamo
Optional:
Buy the following items from the General Store:
Barrel of water x1
Hardtack (10) x4
Repair kit x1
Bandage x4
]
At the man's gesture, they went outside. There was a wagon in front, loaded with crates. It was large, covered with two horses to pull it and two seats up front. A muscular black man was loading the last one up.
[
Alex: shotgun!
Jessi: they have those?
Alex: no i mean I want you to drive
Jessi: oh
Jessi: so you wanna ride bitch?
Jessi: you can be my bitch any time
Alex: bro…
Jessi: oh shit autochat
]
Meanwhile when they had approached the wagon sufficiently, they were sucked in by the game, moving automatically to climb up. Jessi's hand snapped the reigns without his volition, and off they went down the road.
They automatically slowed when they reached the general store. A prompt popped up:
[
Enter the General Store?
Y/N
Alex: all that shit sounds boring
Alex: Can we get some good whiskey?
Jessi: hell yes
Jessi: Command: Y
Alex: Command: Y
]
Jessi patted his coin purse. It jingled reassuringly. The two climbed down and Jessi automatically tied off the horse. As the two came up on the door, Jessi spat out a wad of chewing tobacco into the spitoon. He reached in a pouch and pulled out a fresh chaw.
[
Jessi: dammit, I thought cowboys were supposed to be smokers
Jessi: never dipped before but this stuff is actually kinda good
Alex: is it up to snuff?
Jessi: fuck off with that nonsense
]
Wagon tied up, they stepped past the heavy wood door to the general store. It was small with a few non-descript items in baskets on the wall and a counter in the back. A bare armed man stood behind it with a brown apron. They stepped up to the counter.
“What can I get ya?" The man asked as an inventory screen took over. As it did, the world froze. The man's eyes were mid-blink. In their vision, the wagon’s inventory was on the left with the general stores on the right. The main quest flashed up with the optional objective, but they ignored it in favor of a box showing up top.
[
Use Command: sell to sell inventory and Command: buy to add to your inventory.
Wagon:
Inventory 9/20
Crates x5
Gunpowder x5
Coin purse ($150)
Colt Walker .44
Colt Paterson .36
General Store:
Salt pork x5
Barrel of water x3
Skin of water x10
Hardtack (10) x40
Bandage x15
Repair kit x5
Whiskey x12
Barrel of European Reserve whiskey x1
Coffee x10
.36 ball cartridge (10) x7
]
There were prices listed, but the two men looked right past them.
[
Jessi: Command: help - what is European Reserve whisky?
This barrel immigrated from Scotland when the general store owner came overseas. Sealed tightly for 50 years, no one knows what it tastes like, but it's got to be something special.
Alex: we've got to try this shit
Jessi: Command: buy European Reserve x1
]
Time resumed. At that Jessi's character spat on the floor and said, “We'll take the European Reserve whiskey.”
The shopkeeper seemed a bit taken aback. “Me da barreled that just before me nativity. I'm proper attached to it you see.”
“If you want to keep it, why have it in yer store?” Jessi challenged.
“I couldn't part with it for less than 40 dollars, sirrah. Is there anything else you like?”
Jessi fished in his coinpouch and slammed down a large handful of coins. The purse was much lightened.
The other man's eyebrows climbed higher. Clearly he hadn't expected it to go that way. He whistled and a burly black man without a shirt showed up. The shopkeeper addressed the slave.
“Jimmy, take the special barrel from the cellar and load it up for these here lairds. Be careful with it - it's worth more than yer hide.”
Jimmy nodded, “Yessa massa,” and went down to the cellar.
The world paused again and the inventory popped back up.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
[
Alex: guess you're on your own with your bullets
Alex: how many do we need?
Jessi: how bout 50
Jessi: Command: buy .36 cartridges x5
]
Time resumed. Jessi pointed at a parcel on the counter. “We'll take them bullets too.”
The shopkeeper appeared even more suprised. “Those just came in the mail, and I didnt even order them. How do you know there's bullets in there?”
Jessi just shrugged and spat again.
The shopkeeper threw his hands up in frustration. “Fine, you can have them for 10 dollars.”
Unflinching Jessi slammed his money on the counter. His purse had nothing left. The shopkeeper pushed the parcel over to them and Alex took it. Jimmy reemerged with a fancy lacquered barrel on one shoulder.
The shopkeeper eyed the purchase, then put two bandages on the counter.
“On the house. Can I help ya'll with anything else?” The shopkeeper asked.
“Naw,” Jessi said, and they turned and left the store. The slave carefully placed the barrel on the wagon, and, with a tip from his cap, went back in.
[
Barrel of European Reserve whiskey added to Wagon (10/20)
.36 cartridges x5 added to Wagon (15/20)
Bandage x2 added to Wagon (16/20)
Quest Updated - Cargo Wrangling
Optional objectives failed!
You did not buy the survival items needed from the General Store:
Achievement unlocked!
Survival of the Fittest
Buy the Barrel of European Reserve whiskey
Who needs food and water when you have whiskey!
]
Back in the wagon, they automatically left the outpost to make their deliveries.
For two guys used to more action in the game, the beginning was nothing but scenery. Both of them only admired it for a minute before being drawn to a small prompt.
[
Quick travel?
Y/N
Jessi: yes
Jessi: i'm not here to sightsee
Alex: Ditto. Where's the shooting bits?
Jessi: Command: Y
]
The ride faded to black and then Jessi was pulling the reins to stop the wagon. They could hear shouting in the distance as they rounded a large curve hidden by a cliff.
"That don't sound good." Alex said as the shouting grew louder. "Best we go around or sumthin."
[
Choose an option:
investigate shouting
Ignore it
Jessi: Command: investigate shouting
]
They didn't need to think on the answer. Both men dismounted from the wagon and removed shiny revolvers from the holsters. Weapons ready, they moved forward carefully to see who was shouting.
Ahead was a large open arena that had large stone out cropping and chunks of fallen logs. Two groups of men faced off against each other. Both groups were mostly sporting normal clothes, but a man on each side stood out with smart looking uniforms. The white man on the left had on black with red trim and white pants while the darker skinned man sported blue with white straps.
Directly ahead of them and hidden from view, a man in plain clothes crouched behind a boulder. He was watching the two groups arguing and waving guns. The man must have noticed Jessi and Alex. When he turned around, they could see fresh bruises and blood on him. He scurried over to them with a look of relief on his face.
"Thank goodness someone's here! Names Harland Evergreen and I need your help." The man was out of breath from his short jog to them. "I need to deliver medicine to the Alamo, but there's trouble ahead. Those damn nationalist blocked the way, stole the medicine, and now those fine Texans are tryna get them gone, except they didn't listen about my delivery! The roads are just too dangerous these days. Can you help me?"
[
Choose an option:
Yes
For a price
No
Alex: Gotta make that sweet Sweet cash!
Jessi: says the trustfund baby
Jessi: Command: For a price
]
Jessi reached up, scratching his chin and spitting out his old chewing tobacco.
"This ain't no free service." Jessi stated. "I can get that medicine and get it to the Alamo for ya."
Harland looked sheepish and stared at the ground, then admitted, "The Mexicans took my money too. Lucky they didn't take my shirt!"
"No deal then." Jessi shrugged and turned away to leave.
"Wait! Tell ya what, you can keep what was stolen from me and take my delivery fee. I just want to go home."
[
Quest available!
Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
Harland Evergreen was robbed and needs help. Hes agreed to let you keep his belongings if you Deliver the medicine to the Alamo.
Accept?
Y/N
Alex: Command: Y
ERROR: Your profile cannot accept a quest. Please see Bahliah (Boss Bitch) to get permission.
Alex: Damn…
Alex: She's everywhere!
Jessi: Command: Y
]
"Ya got a deal."
Jessi spat in his hand and held it out. The man did the same. They shook hands and Jessi tried to contain his disgust. His character didn't even wipe off his hand.
[
New Quest!
Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
You've agreed to help Harland Evergreen get the medicine and deliver it to the Alamo.
Objective:
Retrieve the medicine.
]
Harland thanked them profusely for the help, then ran back the way they'd come from. Jessi and Alex crept up to the boulder the man had been behind, unholstering their weapons and checking the rounds.
A prompt appeared.
[
Choose an option:
Help the texans
Help the mexicans
Attack them all
Alex: Murder and mayhem?
Jessi: goin balls deep!
Jessi: in your butt, bruh!
Jessi: how the fuck do I turn autochat off?!!
Alex: Maybe my mouth first.
Alex: omg you did not just see that.
Alex: ahem, about this quest…
Jessi: Command: Attack them all
Quest Updated!
Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
You've decided to go in guns blazing and asking questions later.
Objective: Kill everyone and take the medicine.
Alex: Is this a cover shooter or what? where's my chest-high walls?
Jessi: i think we need to get our rocks off
Alex: ??
Jessi: shit! i mean stay behind those rocks
Jessi: bullets hurt yo
Alex: wait this game hurts?
Jessi: just a little
Jessi: think of it as some intense vibrations
Alex: …
]
Both sides were oblivious to the two. Jessi was first to fire, one-handed, his other hand braced against the rock. The .44 walker was very loud, and kicked like a mule. His shot grazed the shoulder of a blue-garbed nationalist. The man's head swung in their direction, but no one else saw them.
Alex pushed back from the rock to stand up in a weaver stance, gripping his colt in two hands. It didn't look very cowboy-like, but he pegged the man right in the head. He went down.
[
Jessi: at least mines bigger
Alex: you gotta use it right bro
]
Turning his attention to the Texican side, which now outnumbered the nationalists, he fired again. This time he hit center of mass. His target fell onto the man to his left, sending both to the ground.
This time the others noticed. However, they were pinned down by the nationalists, their flanks exposed to the two players. Jessi and Alex continued to shoot the indecisive men, who finally started to run.
The nationalists reloaded and fired in volley at the Texicans, finishing them off. By now the nationalists had noticed the angle of their fallen comrade and they affixed bayonets and started charging the two cowboys.
The two players started firing at will. Jessi ran out first, and to his surprise found his hands reloading the pistol automatically and quickly.
Alex was less fortunate. His last shot misfired, exploding in the chamber. The weapon dropped from his pained hand.
“Goddamn it!”
[
Achievement unlocked!
The Good Ole Days
Have a gun backfire on you
Colt Paterson .36 removed from the Wagon (15/20)
Alex: shit that looks bad
Alex: i see what you mean, it barely hurts
Alex: but now my gun and my hands are fucked
Jessi: aw hell
]
At this point the three remaining soldiers were on them. Jessi fired point-blank into the chest of the man trying to stab him in the heart, stepping back to get some range. The man went down and his companion lunged past him toward Jessi. Jessi knocked the rifle aside and smashed the butt of his revolver on the man's head, knocking him out.
Meanwhile, Alex used both hands to deflect the bayonet upward, and kneed the man in the balls. He dropped to his knees, crumpling, only to be kicked with a full roundhouse to his crooked teeth.
[
Alex: dude, i've never done close-quarters-combat
Alex: how the hell did I do that?
Jessi: it felt like the system was helping a bit there
Jessi: like I've never pistol-whipped anybody before, but that dude went down hard
Jessi: we're both badasses
]
Jessi's character spit on the corpse of the soldier he'd last killed and turned to his companion. He moved closer to inspect the damage, but then waved Alex off.
"Stop being a tenderfoot." He pulled out a bandage and ointment. "it ain't that bad and it's what chu get for buying cheap."
He left Alex to tend to his own wounds while Jessi started searching the bodies. His movements while rifling through the dead men were practiced, taking any small trinket of value and leaving the rest for Alex to pick through.
[
Alex: Hell yes! Game logic!
Alex: I'm magically cured!
Jessi: well, I left the weapons for you…
Alex: Fucking loot hog.
Jessi: you know it
]
After picking around the weapons for a bit, he settled on a rifle.
[
Alex: Command: help - what is this?
You are holding a British Baker rifle. It is a .61 caliber gun with a rifled barrel. It can be fired quite quickly, and at ranges up to 250 meters. Operation requires lead balls, powder horn, and patch bag
Alex: sweet
Alex: comes with a bayonet too
Jessi: might as well grab one of those big ole knives too
]
Alex found a decent looking knife from the captain and rounded up the necessary supplies for his new gun. There was plenty, though he did have to check the size of the shot to make sure it fit.
He pulled out one of the patches to examine it. It was kind of greasy.
[
Alex: Command: help - why do I need this
This is a muzzleloader patch. It is loaded before the ball and produces a gas-tight seal between the charge and the ball.
Alex: neat
]
Next they made their way to the other side of the map. Fortunately, it wasn't large and they made it to the small barricade where the nationalists took cover.
There wasn't much behind the makeshift wall. Jessi saw a few bedrolls and the embers of an old fire. Behind the bedroll was a small chest.
Alex bolted for it first, opening it before Jessi made it there.
[
Alex: Score! Found the meds.
ERROR: Your profile cannot interact with the quest objective. Please see Bahliah (Boss Bitch) to get permission.
Alex: Aw, man…
Jessi: ha! give it here!
]
Jessi grabbed the medicine out of the chest, automatically adding it to his inventory. There was also a coin pouch that held twenty dollars.
[
Quest Updated!
Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
You've found the medicine. Now to deliver it!
Objective:
Deliver the medicine.
]
They took some time to score the rest of the area, but we're disappointed with the lack of loot. They returned to the wagon,adding their new items to the inventory.
[
British Baker rifle added to Wagon (16/20)
Medicine added to Wagon (17/20)
$32 addee to Coin purse
Wagon:
Inventory 19/20
Crates x5
Gunpowder x5
Coin purse ($132)
Colt Walker .44
British Baker rifle
.36 cartridges x5
Barrel of European Reserve whiskey
Medicine
Bandage
Alex: Hey! We had more money to spend!
Jessi: damn…
Jessi: thought it was only 50
]
Feeling finished, they passed through the exit and found themselves back on the wagon to continue.
After a short ride, the sky began to darken as the sun started to slide down the horizon. A prompt appeared as the wagon pulled up to a cleared area with an old fire ring someone had left behind..
[
Camp for the night?
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
]
They both hopped down from the wagon and a brief cutscene of them setting up camp for the night. They were given control back as they sat next to a large fire.
[
Player 1 is thirsty!
Thirst: 20/100
Player 2 is hungry!
Hunger: 20/100
Player 2 is thirsty!
Thirst: 10/100
]
Alex looked at the brightly painted barrel on the wagon.
[
Alex: I think I worked up a thirst from that fight
Alex: wanna pop this cherry?
Jessi: hell yeas
Jessi: and then we can pop some of your cherries too
Alex: …
Alex: about that drink
]
The two clambered up the back of the wagon, careful to avoid the seats that would suck them down the road.
Both stood there staring at the barrel.
Experimentally, Jessi put his hand on it. A prompt popped up:
[
Open the Barrel of European Reserve whiskey?
Y/N
Jessi: hell yes
Jessi: Command: Y
ERROR: You do not possess required item to open the barrel without breaking the seal
Break the seal?
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
Achievement unlocked!
I got this bro!
Break the seal of the Barrel of European Reserve whiskey
Who needs a tap when you'll drink the whole barrel anyways?
]
With that, Jessi pulled out a pry bar and hammer. He took the lid off in short order. A pungent smell wafted out.
[
Alex: what the hell is that?
Jessi: yolo
]
Taking a ladle that was probably meant for water, he took out a large scoop. The scent made his nostrils burn.
What went down his throat was like drinking pureed tree roots. It was so over oaked and peated he couldn't even taste the alcohol. Jessi tried to abort mid-sip, but his character drained the huge ladle, which seemed to go on and on. He wanted to wretch but his character was locked into the animation.
[
Player 1 is less thirsty!
Thirst: 25/100
Jessi: OMGOMG
Alex: that good huh?
Jessi: …
Jessi: its an experience
]
Finally it ended. Jessi handed the ladle to Alex.
[
Alex: bottoms up bitch
Alex: what, no comments about my bum?
]
Then it hit.
[
Player 2 is less thirsty!
Thirst: 25/100
Alex: WHY????
Alex: what is this???
Jessi: i dunno but I need something to wash the taste out
Jessi: fuck
Jessi: we don't even have water
]
With nothing else to drink, Jessi and Alex were forced to drink the whiskey until their meters were full. Jessi put the top back on and stepped away from the barrel and the two went back to their bedrolls. They automatically slept through the night.
Ignoring their hunger prompts, the ride continued into the desert scenery.
[
Jessi: this is pretty and I'ma let you talk, but
Quick Travel?
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
Alex: Dammit Jes, you gotta take some time to appreciate beauty!
Jessi: nah, I just appreciate nekkid bodies ;)
Jessi: hell yes, emoji time
Jessi: >:)
]
Alex tried to reply, but was cut off by them arriving at the next arena.
The road was blocked by a number of white Texicans who had pulled two wagons across the road, which was the only suitable way through the area.
Facing off against them was a smaller number of mixed-race people. They appeared to be in disagreement.
“We need to deliver these orders to commander Bowie, on the double!” The apparent leader of the mixed group said.
The other man answered with a more pronounced drawl, “And I'm telling you, Mr Bowie ain't got no interest in your damn orders. You can shove them up that lilly-livered general's ass. In Texas, we dont back down from a fight.”
The other man drew his flintlock pistol. “So it's mutiny then?” He asked. At that every man among the Texicans raised their weapons, as did the general's.
[
Alex: hey look another shootout
Jessi: hope we arent carrying anything explosive on this cart
Alex: that quest text probably said if we were but, boring!
Choose an option:
Help the texicans
Help the general's men
Do nothing
Kill them all
Jessi: what do you think? I picked last time
Alex: i kinda wanna see who wins
Jessi: Command: do nothing
Achievement unlocked!
Pacifist win!
Let the texicans and general’s men sort themselves out
]
So the two sat up in their bench and watched the two groups unleash hell on each other. The Texicans were using inferior muskets, but they had a lot of them. Each man could fire three times without having to reload. The general's men picked their targets more carefully, but were ultimately overwhelmed by numbers.
A few bullets hit their wagon, and then one hit a crate. Apparently, it was full of gunpowder, and exploded violently. Alex was ducking down to present a smaller target, but Jessi was lounging comfortably. His back got a load of shrapnel from the barrel
[
Crate x2 removed from Wagon (17/20)
Gunpowder x3 removed from Wagon (14/20)
.36 cartridges x5 removed from Wagon (9/20)
Quest update!
Cargo Wrangling
You have lost half your delivery cargo to misfortune. Lose it all and you will fail the quest.
Jessi: fuck that stings!
]
The horses had been relatively calm up to this point, but the explosion was too close for them. They reared, neighed, and ran towards the skirmish. At this point it was mostly bayonets and knives, though a few of the general’s men hunkered behind their allies reloading weapons.
The panicked beasts ran right over the speaker for the general’s men, and then they were in the thick of it.
Jessi fired from the hip in his seated position with his Colt Walker, while Alex fired one round and started bayonetting anyone who got too close.
Jessi kept firing and reloading, until suddenly his hand came up empty on his ammo bag.
[
You have run out of ammunition. Would you like to purchase more for 1 credit? Note: Anachronistic weapons will not have suitable munitions in the world.
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
]
His hand was pushed out of his bag as it suddenly filled with large bullets.
Meanwhile, Alex was trying to figure out how to reload. He'd interrupted the automatic process when he'd clubbed a man over the head to get some space. On reaching into his own powder horn he found his hands moving on their own.
He clenched the rifle between his thighs to free up his hands. Pulling out the powder horn, it dispensed a measure amount of gunpowder. Then went the patch and ball, which got rammed down the barrel with the rod that was stored under the gun’s barrel. Finally taking the weapon in one hand, he cocked the hammer and loaded the priming charge in the pan.
By that point, another Texican was charging, Bowie knife in hand. Alex shot him point-blank in the face. Then the automatic loading started again.
[
Alex: goddammit, the game said this thing loaded fast
Alex: that took forever
]
The fighting began to die down. The Texicans were the clear winners. They began to train their guns on the wagon.
“They killed Paul!” one of them cried. “And Mark!” shouted another.
[
Jessi: welp
Jessi: guess it's kill em all anyway
Alex: fuck this reloading thing, man
]
Jessi’s character spat his tobacco juice, “Guess we’re sendin’ all the disciples home today.”
With a war cry, Alex launched himself off the wagon, spearing a man through the heart. Snatching up the man’s gun, he shot the next man and then clubbed another.
Meanwhile, Jessi covered him from the bench, methodically taking out anyone who aimed at Alex, and ducking in the seat to take cover from the return fire. Every time he did, faint pain would go shooting up his back.
Jessi's gun was a force on the battlefield. The soldiers noticed it too. “How the hell is he firin’ that fast?” one asked right before getting a bullet in the teeth.
Alex appeared berserk. He'd foregone the bayonet entirely, and was simply smashing everyone with the stock of his stolen musket. After the last man the weapon broke in half. He drew his knife and went to work.
He wasn’t without wounds though. He'd taken several glancing shots and a bayonet through the shoulder. He slit the last man’s throat shortly before Jessi shot the last man in the chest.
[
Achievement unlocked!
Let God Sort Them Out
Kill 20 people from two or more sides of a conflict.
Alex: i think these guys have the right idea
Alex: if one gun won't shoot that fast, bring more guns
]
He started rounding up the weapons. After playing around with them a bit, he decided the smooth-bore muskets were considerably faster to load. It was mostly the same process, but the ramming part was way faster.
Meanwhile Jessi made a beeline for that officer speaking for the general. He still had his pistol in a death-grip and a messenger case in the other.
[
Choose an option:
Take the orders
Leave the orders
]
Jessi ignored them in favor of the pistol, adding it to his inventory without inspecting it. Then he took stock of his injuries from the explosion. Their last bandage put it to rights.
Alex had moved over to the two wagons, already salvaging for anything usable. As he did, a prompt appeared.
[
Choose an option:
Salvage parts
Leave the wagons alone
Alex: Command: Salvage parts
Canvas added to Wagon (10/20)
Wheel x2 added to Wagon (12/20)
Axel added to Wagon (13/20)
Alex: repair kit? Who needs it?
]
Returning to Jessi, the two of them managed to fix most of the damage to their wagon and then continued again. After some consideration, they went back and looted some canteens and rations.
This time the game didn't give Jessi an option to skip forward. The scenery was gorgeous though. The sun was starting to set, lighting up the clouds in vibrant pinks, blues, and oranges.
[
Jessi: damn, that's something you don't see every day.
Alex: I can feel the air getting cooler too. So cool!
]
This time, Jessi didn't skip and took the time to enjoy the view, but the night moved in swiftly. Near the horizon, Jessi could just make out a few campfires lighting up.
A prompt appeared.
[
Choose an option:
Make camp
Join the campfires
Jessi: well, we've killed everyone we've met since leaving town
Jessi: whats a few more
Jessi: Command: Join the campfires
]
They came across a flattened, cleared space. There were three fires burning. They made for the largest. It had two horses picketed at it, and a pot going above the fire. Their wagon didn't make for a quiet approach.
By the time they stopped, a man had risen from the fire and dusted himself off. He came up to them with an outstretched hand.
“Howdy! I'm Burt. Welcome to my fire. There's taters and salt beef - I can add more to the pot for ya'll.”
[
Choose an option:
Shake the man's hand
Ignore the man's hand
Jessi: Command: Shake the man's hand
Alex: Command: Shake the man's hand
]
Jessi's character dismounted the bench, tossing the reigns down. He took Burts hand and gave it a firm shake.
"Jedediah Buckshot, pleasure."
Alex shook his hand as well, “Whitaker Wheelmaster.”
Jessi took a moment to take in the people in the small caravan. Burt was accompanied by five other men, who stayed around the largest fire. This group of men had gone quiet, but, after seeing the friendly greeting, had gone back to chatting.
The other two fires were smaller and were surrounded by groups of men and women of color. Each one looked exhausted and their clothes were threadbare and dirty.
The shackles binding their ankles to one enough made it clear they were slaves.
Seeing where Jessi was looking, Burt spoke up.
"Don't mind the livestock. They're a quiet bunch." He turned his attention to a young dark skinned girl, who was stirring the cook pot. "Maria, put more food on for our guests."
"Yes sir." Maria moved quickly to do as she was told.
[
Alex: this is awful
Alex: They literally are chained together!
Jessi: Command: help - when did slavery end in the United States of America?
Slavery officially ended in the United States with the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the Constitution on December 6, 1865, following the end of the Civil War.
Jessi: guess that's history for you
]
Burt noticed them looking at Maria and grinned.
“That's a new one. Caught her tryna creep around our camp a few nights ago. Got a mouth on her, but she'll fetch a good price." He motioned to the black woman as she added food. "Unless ya interested?"
[
Choose an option:
Buy Maria for $160
Barter for $140
Decline his offer
Alex: don't even
Alex: Owning people isn't cool, bruh.
Jessi: guess I'll control myself
Jessi: should we have a safe word?
Jessi: ;)
Jessi: Command: Decline his offer
]
“Nah, ain't interested in slaves today.” Jessis character replied.
"Suit yaself. Offer stands till we pack up.”
They joined Burt at the fire and made a few rounds of introductions to the other men. The conversation was boring, mostly small talk and jokes.
Before long, Maria was serving up their bowls, carefully handing each man his bowl. When Jessi got his bowl, he noticed a small scrap of paper under it.
[
Choose an option:
Read the note out loud
Wait for bedtime
Ignore it
Jessi: i smell xp
Jessi: i got a message from the slave girl
Alex: i feel bad for them
Alex: can we free them?
Jessi: i guess we'll find out
Jessi: Command: Wait for bedtime
]
The rest of the night passed about the same. Burt offered them a skin of whiskey. Alex declined but Jessi went bottoms up. It was much smoother than the one he'd had in his flask. The skin apparently had been used for wine before, as he got a bit of a Manhattan vibe out of it.
Not bad at all.
[
Player 1 is no longer starving.
Player 1 is no longer dehydrated.
Player 2 is no longer starving.
]
The two players bedded down like they were going to sleep. They were close enough to the fire to read the note, which Jessi did once everyone else's heads were down. There was someone on night watch, but they were keeping their back to the fire to avoid ruining their night vision.
[
A note from Maria:
Mister Buckshot,
Myself and several others are free people according to the Guerrero Decree made on Sept 15 1829.
I can pay you.
Meet me an hour before sunrise.
Quest available!
Frontier Alliances: Pioneers' Dilemma
Maria wants to meet with you before sunrise.
Accept?
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
New Quest!
Frontier Alliances: Pioneers' Dilemma
Maria wants to meet with you before sunrise. Wonder what she has to say?
Objective:
Meet with Maria
]
Jessi wasn't sure how sleeping worked in-game, but it turned out to be pretty easy. He just laid back in his bedroll, closed his eyes, and a prompt appeared:
[
Sleep until the quest begins?
Y/N
Jessi: Command: Y
Alex: Command: Y
]
Just like that, when he opened his eyes everything was different. There were different men on watch, and the fires had burned low.
Motioning to Alex, who looked a bit disoriented, the two stood up as stealthily as possible. They crept over to where the slaves were kept, where they found Maria waiting, along with several others. Their faces were solemn.
“Thank you for not turning us in. Escape attempts are always punished harshly,” She said softly.
She looked like she wanted to say more, but changed her mind. Getting down to business, she settled her skirt as she spoke.
"My uncle is already across the border. He set up accounts for supplies and travel for my brother and I when we reach certain places." Maria held up a slip of paper. "This note is for $150 in San Antonio. Help us get free and it's yours."
A dialog box popped up with options.
[
Choose an option:
Accept her offer
Decline her offer
(Lie) Accept her offer
Offer to buy her slave contract
Alex: Dude, we gotta help her.
Jessi: I'd rather buy her!
Alex: Slavery is bad, mkay?
Jessi: hey, it's a game.
Jessi: we're allowed to be bad.
Alex: you already got your bad choice.
Jessi: fine…
Jessi: Command: (Lie) Accept her offer
Alex: Command: Accept her offer
ERROR: Your profile cannot interact with the quest objective. Please see Bahliah (Boss Bitch) to get permission.
Alex: …
Alex: really? I want to make a choice!
Jessi: ha!
]
Jessi's character nodded. “Yeah, we'll take you.”
Maria gave him an odd look. She had a faraway look in her eyes. Maria glanced towards the main camp where Burt slept.
“We can deal with them, but the sentries will spot us. You'll need to deal with them."
[
Choose an option:
Follow Maria's plan
Suggest a new plan
Warn Burt
Jessi: warning Burt sounds kinda like the pussy option
Alex: we're freeing them!
Alex: Got a better plan?
Jessi: nope
Jessi: only plan i got is more whiskey!
Jessi: Command: Follow Maria's plan
Quest updated!
Frontier Alliances: Pioneers' Dilemma
You've agreed to help Maria escape from Burt with your fingers crossed.. Maria will deal with him and you will take care of the sentries.
Objective:
Take out the sentries
]
“Y'all come up behind our wagon,” Jessi said. “I don't think you can ride on top of our cargo, but you can walk behind the wagon. That way, you won't look like runaways.”
“Very well,” Maria said. She gestured to the others. They gathered up packs and followed.
There was still the sentry to deal with. Jessi walked up to him openly while Alex circled behind. The sentry looked at Jessi,
“You're up early,” The man said.
“Yeh, just wondered if you might want a nip of whiskey to warm yourself up this fine morning,” Jessi offered, taking out his flask.
Acting like he was handing it to the man with his left hand, he slugged the man hard in the jaw with his right. Alex, who was right behind the man, grabbed him in a headlock as he stumbled. He strangled the man to unconsciousness, and took his gun. The second sentry was taken out the same way with none the wiser.
With the sentries gone, They made their way to their wagon as quietly as they could.
They turned around as they mounted, only to see that their escort had not followed so closely. Instead, they watched as figures knelt over prone bodies, drawing knives and slitting throats. There was a collective gurgling from several slavers at once. One let out a whistling moan. Each slave had taken out their man. Two more appeared to slowly be waking, but they were quickly set upon. The whole thing was over in a minute.
The group of former slaves filed up behind the wagon. They loaded their looted guns onto it with the others Jessi and Alex had gotten.
[
Choose an option:
Confront the slaves
Say nothing
Ask them to grab the whiskey
Alex: wow
Alex: what did they need us for again
Jessi: well its an easy choice at least
Jessi: Command: Ask them to grab the whiskey
Quest updated!
Frontier Alliances: Pioneers' Dilemma
Maria massacred and razed the slaver camp, but, hey, she and the others are free. Now to escort them to safety.
Objective:
Leave the camp and escort the slaves
]
Jessi's character turned in his seat calling back to Maria.
"Don't forget the whiskey!"
He saw Maria nod to her companions and the satisfying thud of the wagon said the barrel was added. Maria appeared at the side, holding up a fresh flask of the whiskey to Jessi.
"For your hard work." Maria said. "We are ready to leave now."
[
Choose an option:
Take the flask and leave
Decline the flask and leave
Jessi: Command: take the flask and leave
]
Jessi drank from the flask, passing it to Alex. The whiskey tasted different. More bitter. Alex took it.
[
Jessi: does this taste right to you?
]
Alex drank.
[
Alex: it's like they added too much cocktail bitters
Alex: not that bad anyway
]
The two climbed up to the bench and directed the horses to move down the road, away from the camp.
The option to quick travel was presented, which Jessi quickly accepted. He immediately knew something was wrong. His perspective shifted instantly between one blink and the next. He was suddenly on the ground next to Alex.
They pulled themselves upright, but Jessi felt like his avatar was unresponsive. His heart felt like it was racing, and his stomach had cramps. The sensations were muted, but still noticeable.
There was a corked glass vial with a note wrapped around it. He pulled it out and read the familiar handwriting.
[
A note from Maria:
There was only one vial of antidote in the medicine you had brought. I poisoned your whiskey. I know you were lying about helping us. Try being a better man next time.
Quest Complete: Frontier Alliances: Pioneers' Dilemma
Maria knew you lied and poisoned you. She took all your belongings and wagon.
Quest Failed! Cargo Wrangling
Maria stole your wagon
Quest Update: Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
Maria poisoned your whiskey. Luckily, you have medicine, but not enough for two.
Objective:
Decide who lives or dies.
Choose an option:
Save yourself
Save your partner
Save both - 500CC
Jessi: the fuck?
Jessi: we just got roofied bruh…
]
Alex's reply took some time to come through, as if his avatars' affliction was his own.
[
Alex: No roofied feels like this. This isn't right jessi
Jessi: big baby.
Jesdi: I'll kiss you better when we're out
Jessi: Command: Save yourself
Quest Complete: Frontier Remedies: Medicine Run of 1836
You chose to save yourself.
You have failed the main quest of this area. Exiting.
]
Alex was typing a reply when Jessi's character reached for the vial. Popping the cork, he downed the bitter liquid and dropped the vial. He managed to look at Alex, who was foaming at the mouth and seizing up.
Jessi's last thought as the game went black was thinking it was only a game, but he lost consciousness before he could think more or see the end screen.