I sat in the back of the ambulance, watching the red and blue lights reflecting off the parked cars and the windows of the houses. I could see people peering through their curtains, watching the drama unfold across the street, trying to figure out what had shattered the quiet of their neighborhood. I winced slightly, as the paramedic dabbed antiseptic on the deep scratches that crisscrossed my neck and chest. Acrylic nails, worse than fighting Wolverine. I felt the ambulance shift slightly and looked over to find Gail sitting down on the tailgate.

“You sure know how to retire,” she observed.

“You know me, Gail. I’d do anything for one of these crinkly blankets,” I shrugged, shifting the emergency blanket on my shoulders. “I’m not in shock, by the way.”

The paramedic frowned,

“Just leave the blanket on, alright? You’ll get me in trouble with my boss.”

I rolled my eyes,

“I don’t believe that for a second, but fine, if you insist.”

He finished cleaning my wounds, and bandaging the worst of them, then stepped back, looking me over.

“Alright, I’m done. You can go, when you are ready, but please sit tight for a few minutes and left the antiseptic soak in before you put your shirt back on, ok?”

“Thanks, Rajesh.”

“And if you start running a fever or have excessive redness or swelling, go see your family doctor for some antibiotics.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know the drill. Don’t worry about me.”

He rolled his eyes and walked away. I turned back to Gail,

“How’s Mia doing?”

“They say you got to her in time, she should recover. But it was a close thing. Much longer and…” she left the thought unfinished.

“It’s good she’ll be alright.”

“Thanks to you, Ray. We owe you one for this. It was happening right under our noses, and we didn’t see it.”

“You can’t be expected to see everything.”

“No? Simon came to me with this, same as you. I told him it was nothing. I dropped the ball here, almost got these girls killed.”

“Well, I doubt you’ll be thanking me when this triggers a riot, or a war. Like you said, one bad rogue incident…”

“That isn’t on you,” Gail cut me off. “Let me deal with the spin on this. You did the right thing. What we should have done. Thank you.”

I waved her off,

“Forget it. I didn’t think it was anything at first, either. You couldn’t have known.”

“Maybe,” she sighed. “But that’s the problem. There was a time, not that long ago, when something like this couldn’t have happened without us knowing and stopping it. We need to rebuild, repair our network. Before this gets any worse.”

“How are the others doing?” I attempted to move the conversation along. I wasn’t going to let her rope me into the conversation about this, especially not right now.

“Kate and Lena are… combative, as I am sure you noticed,” she looked pointedly at the scratches across my neck.

“Yes, they did seem to get awfully agitated after I shot Cramer,” I agreed.

“They are being transferred to a clinic for therapy, of a kind. There are people currently working on methods to deprogram victims. But it is still in the early stages. They get to be guinea pigs, I suppose. It’s going to be a long road, for them, but at least they have a chance, now.”

“Yeah. Speaking of, they mentioned another girl, Ashley. It seemed to me like he traded her to someone. Which means there are more victims, and more rogues, still out there.”

“We are already working on tracking her down. The other women haven’t been too helpful. If Cramer survives surgery, we’ll see if we can get any names out of him.”

“Makes it hard to decide which outcome I should hope for.”

“Well, if you wanted him dead, you shouldn’t have given him first aid.”

“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t really that keen on killing anyone, tonight. Besides, Simon did most of the work.” I shrugged.

“I was wondering, how exactly did he get involved? I thought you went in alone.”

“He broke in when he heard the gunshots. I would be annoyed that he didn’t listen to me and wait in the car, but it worked out, honestly. He helped me extricate myself from Cramer’s victims, without having to hurt anyone, then started first aid on the incubus.”

“With your help.”

“Well, yeah. I wasn’t just going to stand there.”

“He handled himself pretty well, it seems,” Gail noted.

“Yeah. He’s not bad under pressure, he’s just terrible at subterfuge.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“Depends on the situation. Anyway, hopefully Cramer pulls through, so you can at least get some information out of him. But even if he doesn’t, there’s still phone records, surveillance from the club he frequented, testimony from the neighbors, the other victims. You’ll find something.”

“You sure you don’t want to handle this? You already seem to have a plan of action.”

“Nope, retired, remember?”

“Uh huh,” Gail rolled her eyes. “Which reminds me, I am going to need your gun. Evidence and all that.”

“Of course,” I removed it from the holster and passed it over.

“I’ll get it back to you as soon as possible.”

“Don’t rush, I’d rather not have it, honestly.”

“It was a good thing you did, today.”

I shrugged and leaned my head back, stretching my back. Gail studied my face.

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

“Seriously though, are you alright?”

I ran a finger along one of the scratches on my neck,

“Well, I think a few of these might scar, but it’s not that big of a deal.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

I looked out across the street and saw Simon talking to the paramedic, then he crossed to join us.

“Raj says you won’t go to the hospital?” he scolded.

“I don’t need to go to the hospital, I have a few scratches,” I batted his hands away from my neck. “Stop fussing.”

“He recommended you go and get prescription antibiotics.”

“He already put some cream on it, it’s fine,” I shrugged off the blanket and pulled my shirt back over my head, the antiseptic seemed dry enough. “Now, am I getting arrested, Gail?”

“Not tonight, Ray. I have your statement, your weapon, and this is looking like a clear-cut case of self-defence. I’ll present things to the cops, if they have questions, we know where to find you, right?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Gail rose and clapped me on the shoulder,

“Then go home, get some rest. I’ve got to check on some things here, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ll come by tomorrow and we can talk more.”

“Just don’t make it before noon, huh?”

Gail shook her head and turned to Simon,

“Look after her, huh?”

He nodded and Gail headed back across the street.

“Alright, come on, I’ll take you home,” Simon gestured to his car.

“You don’t have to do that; I can catch a cab. You should go be with your girlfriend.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not leaving you to take a cab home after everything. Besides, I called Carissa already and filled her in, she is going straight to the hospital to see Mia. I’ll go and see them tomorrow. For tonight, she told me to stay with you, and to thank you for her.”

“Look, I am just going to go home, get wasted, and pass out on the couch. I assure you I can handle that all on my own.”

“I know that you can, I just don’t think you should.”

“Alright, fine, you can drop me off, if you insist,” I relented.

“Good. Let’s go,” Simon led the way back to the car.

I tossed my keys on the counter as I walked in the door and headed straight for the cupboard. Extracting a bottle of whisky, I briefly considered getting a glass, but decided that would just be a waste of valuable time. I collapsed onto the couch and cracked open the bottle. As I took a swig, I looked up to see Simon standing at the foot of the couch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Absolutely not. No time. I have a whole day’s worth of drinking to catch up on, thanks to you.”

“Look, Ray, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for this to get so…”

“Forget it, Simon,” I waved off his apology. “I was just giving you a hard time, don’t take it so seriously. You did the right thing, alright?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, obviously. I didn’t want to be involved in any of this, but at least we found them, before it was too late. I can’t really be mad about that, can I?”

“But you are clearly upset,” he gestured at the bottle in my hand as I took another swig.

“I almost got my head bashed in, today. Then, I shot someone in the chest. I promised myself I would never do anything like that again, but here we are.”

“He didn’t leave you a choice.”

“No, he didn’t,” I took another pull from the bottle. “Anyway, I think it is time to call it a night, don’t you?”

I looked pointedly at my front door, then back to Simon.

“You mind if I stay for a beer? After today, I could really use one.”

I sighed. He had promised to leave me alone for a week, if I did him this favor, but now didn’t seem like the time to enforce that promise. Simon hadn’t exactly had it easy tonight, either.

“Be my guest, it’s in the fridge,” I nodded towards the kitchen. “As long as this isn’t just a ploy to get me talking.”

“Nope, it’s… been a rough day.”

“Fair enough,” I looked him over. “Are you ok?”

He looked down at his shaking hands, clenching them to hide the tremors.

“I will be. This whole thing has just brought back some unpleasant memories. Those women…” he swallowed hard. “That is what Carmine and the Domini wanted for every human, isn’t it?”

“That, or something worse,” I shrugged.

He crossed to the fridge and popped open a can of beer, dropping on the couch opposite me.

“I can’t believe I was ever a part of that.”

“You weren’t a part of that, Simon. You helped stop it before it ever got that far. Don’t dwell.”

“They were chained in a basement. And they wanted that. What Cramer did to their minds… How many others are out there right now…”

“Simon?” I interrupted. “I am nowhere near drunk enough for this conversation. Let’s just, watch TV for a bit, ok?”

He nodded mutely. I grabbed the remote and flipped on a random sitcom; we both lapsed into silence for a time.

To his credit, even though I could tell it was killing him to do so, Simon managed to hold his tongue until he was nearly finished his second can of beer. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Am I allowed to talk, now?”

I rolled my eyes,

“If you must. How about this, I’ll answer one question.”

“Only one?”

“I’m too tired for an interrogation, Simon. Take what you can get.”

“Alright,” he raised his hands in surrender.

“Do you need a minute to decide?”

“No. I… I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while, now, but I wasn’t sure you would answer. So, this seems like as good a time as any,” he took a breath. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

I raised an eyebrow,

“You are going to have to clarify that one for me.”

“What I mean is, you clearly still enjoy what you do. I saw you today, so don’t bother pretending that you don’t. And you are obviously good at it. So why do you keep stubbornly refusing to go back to work? I don’t get it. Is this just you punishing yourself, or what?”

“Well, you are certainly more direct when you’ve had a few drinks,” I noted.

He blushed faintly but set his jaw,

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Fine, fine. Look, it’s not like it’s some big secret, I just don’t see the need to talk about it. I can’t do it anymore because I know I can’t trust myself.”

“What? Why?”

“I mean, you can see the way things have turned out, after the last set of big choices I made. Even what happened tonight stems from it.”

“Hey, you have no reason to feel guilty about that. The situation with the Domini… It was bad all around, but the choices you made were the right ones. You did what had to be done.”

“I know! That is exactly the problem.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s not that complicated. Maybe it had to be done, but even so, I watched people I care about die, and if anything, the world seems worse off than it did before. Yeah, I did what I had to do, but the consequences are hard to live with.”

“Ok, I think I get that. Making the tough choices came with a cost.”

“Yeah. And there’s the rub. I don’t think I have it in me to pay that cost again,” I bit my lip. “I don’t trust myself to make the right choice, if it really comes down to it. I don’t think I could do it.”

“Ray, I think you need to cut yourself some slack. A lot of people might make imperfect decisions, in a situation like that.”

“Then they shouldn’t be doing this work, either. If I can’t trust my instincts, my decision making, then I need to make sure I stay far away from all of this, or any other kind of work where lives are on the line.”

“I don’t think it’s really as dire as you are making it out to be, Ray.”

“No?” I shook my head, ruefully. “Because it was tonight. You know, when I was down there with Cramer, backed into a corner, I should have pulled my gun. I had it the whole time, I knew what the stakes were, but I just couldn’t make myself draw on him. I couldn’t bring myself to shoot.”

“You did though, in the end.”

“At the last possible moment, long past when I should have. I waited far too long, and it could have cost three women their lives. I shouldn’t have been the one in that room.”

“I don’t necessarily agree with you there, but even if that is true, you don’t have to do field work. You could do something behind a desk…”

“Too risky. Look, Simon, I know myself. Once I get involved, I can’t step back. You saw that tonight. So, it’s best for everyone if I don’t get involved in the first place. And that’s what all this is about, me trying my hardest not to get involved. Even if other people keep trying to force my hand,” I gave him a pointed look.

“Well, I am still not sure I agree with your assessment. But I can tell how important this is to you, so I’ll back off. You won’t get any more cases from me.”

“Thank you.”

Simon tossed back the last of his beer and stifled a yawn.

“Can I ask you a favor?” his tone was sheepish.

“Another one, already?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I know, it’s just… could I crash here tonight? I, uh, probably shouldn’t be driving.”

I chuckled,

“Yeah, no problem. You can have the bedroom.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t…”

“Don’t worry about it, I am going to stay up for a while longer, and I was planning to pass out on the couch, anyway. It’s no trouble.”

He hesitated for just a moment,

“Well, if you’re sure. Thanks, Ray.”

“We’ll see if you are still thanking me when I eventually call in all the favors you owe,” I laughed.

“Please do. I owe too many, already. I would be happy to pay it back a little,” he rose, a bit unsteadily, and headed towards the hall. “Goodnight, Ray.”

“Goodnight, Simon.”

Alone at last, I sunk back into the couch and returned my focus to my drinking. Today had been a mistake. I was going to have to work harder at not getting involved, from now on.