A big forehead have joined the battle, as I heard it say 'STOP! you have violated the law! pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!',  I was submerged in my weird world of memes that I forgot to pay attention to what is happening.  I snapped out of my bizarre world to see Inoichi and Shikaku punching each other in the face while Choza trying to stop them saying "Look, you have frightened the kid!  Stop!  Fighting here will only cause more trouble!".

I tried my best to put a pitiful look on my face as I said "Father... Uncle Shikaku!  Please stop...  Don't fight because of me...  Father and uncle were best friends... I always admired you both, what happened?".

Hearing me they both stopped beating each other and looking embarrassed.  Shikaku whispered in the ears of Inoichi "We probably shouldn't fight in front of a kid..."  and Inoichi said "Yeah, you tell me about it" with sarcasm.

Choza smiled and said "Food and a good beating are the best ways to make up with old friends, isn't it?", and as he finished, my stomach growled.  Choza laughed and said "Come, sit, you will eat today here".  I looked at him with pitiful eyes as I have no money, and he laughed "It is on the house you idiot!"  I smiled and drooled waiting for the food.  Inoichi and Shikaku started chatting and apologizing to each other.  They wanted to ask me what happened that night, but they didn't want to burden me with a question, specially that I just woke up from my coma that lasted five years.

I looked at uncle Shikaku and said to him "A Crystal General might not be as wise as a King, but a discreet Crystal General could beat the King under certain conditions".  It was the language of shogi, which only experts that focus too much into detail could grab the meaning of.  Shikaku didn't say anything and started contemplating on what that meant.

The food arrived and I started devouring it as if I was the devourer of the world... Now I wonder, how do Bacteria and Viruses feel when we humans devour their whole world in one go?  It is like if a giant took a huge bite of the earth, and all we can see is his opened mouth ready to eat us all... Yikes...

After eating to my fill, I started feeling sleepy, but I knew I have so much work to do today at least...  Despite drinking, Inoichi didn't become a stupid idiot.  He ordered my instructor long time ago to go fetch Inoichi's most trust subordinates and supporters.  Shikaku did call some Nara clansmen too, so did Choza with the Akimichi.  Soon, we entered inside the Akimichi compound.  All the ninja gathered started surveilling the compound so no one can eavesdrop the conversation between the Ino-Shika-Cho alliance leaders.

Shikaku looked at me with a serious look and said "What do you want to say?  You requested a secretive meeting away from the ears of even the Hokage, is there something going on?".  Inoichi and Choza gave me all their attention.

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I looked at them one by one, my eyes moving from a person to another as I speak "We need to put father back as the clan head of the Yamanaka".  to which Inoichi replied "I am not fit to be the clan head anymore..."  But Shikaku interrupted and said "What is your reasoning for this?"

I smiled and said "I don't know if you noticed or not, but Fū is gaining a lot of outside support, most of it doesn't make sense.  He is most likely a spy planted inside the Yamanaka family, and is from the Hokage's faction... I still don't understand why the Hokage would do that..."

"Now that I think about it, it sounds true, but why would Hokage Sama want to take over the Yamanaka clan?" Shikaku said as he looked at Inoichi.

Inoichi who was now the center of attention gulped and started sweating, then his darkened face brightened and said "I remember now!  The Hokage asked me to see your notes in the Yamanaka library; ever after that point, things were going bad for me and for the clan..."

Shikaku then looked at me and said "Assuming that Fū is really a spy planted by the Hokage, what about Santa?  Why shouldn't he be the new clan head?  He is a respectful ninja with good enough achievements."    To which I reply with "Santa is indeed a respectful ninja, one of the clan's best at that, but unlike Inoichi; Santa doesn't have a strong connection to either the Nara or the Akimichi, not only that!  Santa doesn't have any connection to any other clan...  If Santa became the leader, the clan will be isolated, and will face a huge burden"

Shikaku would have thought about this point if he gave the issue enough attention, but his anger at Inoichi prevented him from caring about the issue of the Yamanaka internal strife.  I turned toward my father and said "You have to be the clan head, it is for the clan's benefit".

Shikaku laughed as I said that and said "You aren't the same as you were five years ago, it is not as if you lost conscious five years ago, but as if you were studying strategy and philosophy... So what happened during your comatose?"

Shikaku looked skeptical, so I replied with my eyes looking straight to his "for the last five years, I have been fighting death with all means available to me...  My encounter with death changed me...  Specially after getting abducted by an Uchiha, I am not as trusting anymore...  It is better to pay a ryō to protect yourself from a disease, than paying 10 to cure yourself from it"

Inoichi and Choza stared daggers into Shikaku forcing him to apologize to me, but I told him it is ok, and proceeded to telling them what happened that night.

"I wanted to make Ino happier, so I told her to play hide and seek with me, but the boundaries she can hide in are within the clan compound...  Those are the rules I sat, but after searching for sometime, I discovered that she isn't anywhere in the clan compound, so I rushed outside to search for her...  She was most likely under a genjutsu, I just don't know who did it...  I don't know why, but reporting to the family never came to my mind, or maybe it did, but I didn't want to be scolded by you, specially not by mother... I was afraid of her."

"As I left the Yamanaka compound, I was knocked by someone who sneaked behind me.  I woke up amidst the Forest of Death.  I knew I was in a very bad place, and that escaping wasn't a choice, so I started training my Mind Body Withering Technique preparing for the one who abducted me to appear... If it was more than one person, I would have had no chance, but I have nothing else I could do...  A man appeared on top of a tree wearing a mask, and before I knew it, he was standing there looking at me as a hunter looks for his prey.  I didn't give him any time to strike first, and killed him using my technique, almost destroying my own conscious in result...  I ran toward the exit of the Forest of Death as I was losing my conscious, but I kept fighting... It was either live or die"

My crocodile tears started flowing out.  At first Inoichi wanted to check using his Mind Body Disturbance Technique, but he ended up stopping himself from asking when he saw my tears.  All of them looked pitifully at me, and Choza said "You must be tired Voidne, go sleep now, let these old people do what old people do best!  You can leave everything for us!".

I nodded and soon was guided to a bedroom by an Akimichi.  I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.