"Assistant Professor of Remedial Study and Practice?", said Flitwick, sharing the Deputy Headmistress' confusion. "I am not quite sure I understand. The school is running at an all time low budget deficit, we cant keep a defense professor for more than a year. Did someone rich donate a large amount of gold?"

"An old retired auror named Meridius Marrow will be teaching defense, in return for Madam Pomfrey's expertise in keeping people alive. But considering his age and health, I would be surprised if he lasted a week. He is offering to teach without pay. I suspect Gilderoy will be teaching defense under the guise of remedial study. Maybe Aurora as well."

Flitwick chose not to speak further. Sprout continued eating her pudding.

"Defense will be an elective course from now, starting from third year. And it will somehow involve flying on brooms and throwing paint balloons at each other.". Minerva sipped her coffee. "Coincidentally, there is something remedial about brooms and paint balloons."

Flitwick and Sprout were mortified.

***

Gilderoy, the man responsible for all the misery of four house heads, was at home having dinner with his family. For once Gilderoy wasn't the center of his mother's attention. Dumbledore was.

"Its easy to become the headmaster" said Gilderoy, as if missing the spotlight. "You just have to pretend to be mysterious. Thats how Dumbledore stayed headmaster for 5 decades. You dont even need to know magic. Just pretend to have some theories."

That did it. Diana gave her son a rare reprimand. "What--Headmaster, please forgive me, it like he never really grew up. Its all my fault, I should have punished him more often. YOU, APOLOGISE. NOW."

"Sorry professor Dumbledore," Gilderoy chorused.

Arnold frowned in the displeasure that had become his life since Gilderoy was born.

"No matter, no matter. I am used to Gilderoy's jealousy for the gifted and the ardous."

"I do apologize Hilda couldn't be here today. She couldn't get time off from her nursing job." It was clear to Dumbledore that the significant friction in the family had not subsided.

The ex-professor and the headmaster engaged in smalltalk over lunch. And when it was finally over--

"And it is time for me to leave. I have spoken to the ministry warehouse office in Wales and they do indeed have some open positions. From what I have seen Mrs Bailey is more than qualified for the job. I expect great things from you."

"Thank you sir. I am very grateful for this opportunity.", said Eileen.

Then Dumbledore walked into the fireplace to access the Floo network.

***

A few hours later, in a shady pub.

"Who dis?" said a handsome guy in a cloak.

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"D'Artagnan" said a middle aged bald man, also in a cloak.

The handsome man was, of course, Lockhart. He could only rely on a cloack with a few weak anti-scrying charms. While "D'Artagnan" Dumbledore only wore a cloak to blend in with the other people in the pub.

"No movements from Blondie? I'd rather have the book in our hands sooner than later.", said Gilderoy.

"And I do hope you have managed to make something of the cave. Good place to hide some cash, for the future."

"No, Hades. Blondie is being careful. Despite all his contempt for his enemies he rarely, if ever, underestimates his opponents. Dont judge him purely by the hopefully final fate of the Illuminati.", said Dumbledore, referring to Lucius Malfoy and the fall of the Death Eaters.

"Then you did nothing about the Senior and Junior situation either?"

"I have confirmed that he is alive. And Senior is an important member of the ministry, I would rather not step on his toes. We need all the speaking rights we can get when the Noseless One returns with a vengeance. Rest assured I am monitoring the situation so the Senior will be safe."

"I just hope you don't miscalculate. And remember what I want. Stable life and then, if Merlin permits more, then wealth. With my weakness in wand, I will surrender immediately if you die. Or take my family and flee to America. Or commit suicide. Depending on how fast the Noseless finds out. And I also want the Prince to survive. And live like a literal Prince. Quite unfortunate that my sisters vehemently refused to marry a wizard."

"On to the most pressing matter---Paint balloons?"

"Paint Balloons", Gilderoy confirmed.

"Why? And how do you plan to pay for it? And have you prepared for any eventual accidents?"

"Aiming, dodging, general physical fitness, all good for future members of burning chicken brigade."

"Is it really necessary to use code? My magic is perfect. No one can hear without my permission", said Dumbledore.

"I always wanted to be a shady guy from a spy/thriller movie. Except, I don't want the risk that comes with it. Payment for it, I was hoping you could steal some money from the sole heir of two families. You do have the power of attorney, I know it. And you have been using the money to restrict Malfoy in the school board--Ah curses, I meant -- fine leave it. "

Dumbledore sighed, Definitely not spy material he thought.

"As for accidents, there is nothing I can do, if somebody fills a balloon with a nasty option or casts some charm to target one person. or burn the hand that catches it. Nothing at all. I can only mitigate by keeping the balloons in the Room, and having no more than 20 people on the field at a time."

"I haven't been stealing money. I can't make arrangements for you. I can understand the wooden puppets though. I still can't pay for purchase, you might have to give charms and transfiguration students the task to make them. An obstacle course, as you call it, is a very interesting idea, but as with all change the school board won't agree. You tried with other schools. You tried to start your own school. You should know."

"Well--For all I have done the boy should be grateful enough to pay me a few thousand, maybe a few hundred thousand. If we consider what more I am going to do. Do reconsider Dumbledore. If werewolves were rich and the potion easier for me, I would not ask you for money. As it stands all the easy gold minting schemes are unavailable to me. Looks like I will have to purchase it using my lifeline contingency fund."

In fact, Gilderoy had already purchased a few hundred balloons, for a small amount of muggle cash. He just wanted free money from Dumbledore. And of course Dumbledore, knowing muggles, and knowing Gilderoy, knew, but decided not to expose him.

"The classes start on September first, as always. If you aren't careful with your job, the board may force me to replace you before I replace the defense professor."

Aberforth continued cleaning the glasses as if he noticed nothing.