It felt incredibly weird walking into a place I’d never been before, but was still so familiar, somehow. I’ve played a lot of fantasy-themed games, especially RPGs, so I guess if you’ve seen one quintessential guild hall, you’ve seen them all.

This particular guild hall was pretty standard in terms of layout; it looked to be made of up two halves separated by a pair of decorative wooden archways. The room I was standing in had obviously been designed as a gathering area for adventurers, with long wooden tables and matching benches lining the walls on both sides. Down the middle was an isle meant for heavy foot traffic, wide enough for three people to walk shoulder-to-shoulder, where the floorboards had been stained dark and treated in multiple protective layers of varnish.

Everything had already been set up and furnished, ready for opening day. It was sort of creepy, though…this place should have been loud and messy, filled to the brim with people and laughter, but of course, there was only silence. A weird silence that took what should have been a warm and friendly place and turned it into something much eerier.

As my sister would say, this place puts the ‘eep’ in ‘creepy.’

I winced but otherwise ignored the momentary pang of homesickness.

Peering down through the archways, I could see that the second room was laid out kind of like a lobby. As I walked forward, memories flashed through my mind of different games I’d enjoyed and their titular “guild hall girls”…lovely ladies with heavenly assets who assisted adventurers by managing quests and rewarded successful parties with gold and coy smiles.

That made me think about the ‘help wanted’ paper in my hand.

Huh. That’s why the note says something about cute girls. Damn…maybe landing this job won’t be as easy as I thought. But I probably know a lot more about adventuring than anyone else here, considering what Maude told me. Maybe in this weird place, experience will win out over cleavage…?

I knew better. But I didn’t have anything to lose by applying for the job, regardless of the outcome, so there wasn’t a reason for me not to try. Maybe I can weasel my way in…

I set my shoulders and walked through the archway on the far right, feeling very determined. This is an important part of my plan, after all - I couldn’t let a mere lack of boobs hold me back.

“Hello,” I called out hesitantly. “... Is there anyone here? I’d like to apply for the receptionist job. Anyone?”

No answer.

It was darker here than in the front hall, but I could still see well enough. This room is pretty much how I expected it to be, with a counter set into one wall and a large cork board hung up next to it. The board stands empty now, but I can easily imagine it covered in slips of paper of various sizes and colors, each holding the details of a quest that an adventurer or party could take up.

The wall facing the counter had some chairs up against it, perhaps for a waiting area? And on the wall to the other side of the counter, near the corner, is…

A door! There’s light coming from underneath, so there’s clearly something back there. I wonder if…

Then I caught a few words spoken by hushed voices.

“Hey, keep quiet! You don’t want him to know we’re here, do you?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do! I put the sign up, didn’t I?”

I blinked and tiptoed closer, listening so hard my ear lobes hurt. There was no doubt about it; the voices were coming from behind the closed door.

“Yeah, you sure did put it up, without even asking me!”

“Asking…? Ask you for what?”

“For what kind of receptionist I wanted!”

“… We’re not hiring a receptionist for you, Teak.”

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“But I’m the mascot, right?”

“No, Teak. I told you, there is no mascot.”

The voices seemed to be a little closer, but they sounded a bit distorted as well. It was like the sounds were coming to me from underwater…I could make them out, but just barely, and the closer they got, the more distorted everything sounded. Ugh, it’s going to give me a migraine…

“But…”

“No ‘but’s. Now, I’m going to go interview this candidate…”

“No! Please just wait one more day…?”

“No deal, Teak. We need to get up and running! Now, let go of m- ”

“No! You can’t! Don’t do this to m-”

Yelping, I barely managed to jump out of the way as the door crashed open, sending the voices’ owners sprawling into the room in a cloud of books, papers, feathers, and shouting.

…Wait. Feathers…?

The commotion settled as the pair landed in a heap where I’d been standing. I blinked, trying to take it all in at once.

There was now a girl laying face-down on the floor in front of me, wearing a blue and brown outfit that looked suspiciously like a uniform. She’d clearly had the wind knocked out of her, thanks both to the fall and to the round, fluffy-white-thing that had landed square in the middle of her back.

It was this strange white thing that had me the most surprised. It looked like a cross between a baby penguin and a bear cub, with a plump body, wide beak, and bear-like ears. It had a pair of stubby, useless-looking wings, and large bear-like paws for feet. About the size of a large house cat, it looked both hilarious and adorable, and could have been mistaken for a stuffed animal someone had brought to life.

A few final papers settled to the ground around the pair of them. The room was quiet for a moment, then the girl let out a low groan.

“Um…hello? Are you alright?”

She groaned again and started to push herself up off the floor. I took a couple of steps closer to her, wincing out of empathy, and asked again, “Are you okay? Can I help?”

Sitting up now, she was rubbing her face with one hand and feeling around on the floor with the other. The white poof-ball had rolled off her back when she sat up and had come to a stop a few feet away, propped up against a wall. “Uh, yeah, I think so…but I can’t see.”

“You can’t see? Err…” That hadn’t exactly been the response I’d expected. I didn’t really know what she meant. “Um, hold still, let me…” As I went to take another step forward to help her stand up, my foot nudged something. I stopped moving instantly with a cringe, not wanting to step on anything since the floor was an absolute mess, and saw a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles glinting by the toe of my boot. “Oh! Now I get it; you can’t see!”

I bent down and picked them up gingerly, folding them carefully so I wouldn’t smudge the lenses. I didn’t wear glasses myself, but my Mom had a pair for reading so I knew the basics, at least. “I found your glasses, miss. This should a…ah….help.”

I looked at her again and stammered, realizing for the first time just how cute she was.

She was sitting up with her legs tucked under her blue and brown pleated skirt, her brown eyes wide and looking right at me. She looked to be a human girl, maybe a year or two younger than me, with creamy-pale skin and a splash of freckles over her nose and cheeks. She had waist-length brown hair done up in a thick braid that looked about to come apart at any moment, and the figure under her waistcoat and skirt was slim and pleasant, if not terribly curvy. Her outfit is a uniform for sure; There's a pin of some sort on her coat lapel, but I can't make it out in this low light.

“O…oh! Good! That’s a relief. I’m afraid I can’t see anything without them,” she smiled up at me, and I noticed she was blushing faintly.

“Here you go,” I said and knelt down in front of her as she moved her hand away from her face.

“Thank y-you…” She lifted her hands to retrieve her glasses from me, but I was still on autopilot from moments before. Before I knew it, instead of just handing them to her like a normal person, I had unfolded her glasses and slid them delicately on for her, hooking the arms over her ears and setting them gently onto the bridge of her nose in one smooth motion.

“… Oh...Oh, my.”

I coughed and did my best to hide my obvious embarrassment. At times like this, the best thing to do is just steamroll ahead, right? Maybe I can cover up my horrible awkwardness before I screw myself out of a job.

“Er, I’m sorry. Let me help you up.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” she said quietly, still blushing, and reached up to me. I clasped her hand and pulled gently, trying not to think about how soft her hand was, and hoisted her back into a standing position.

“So, you are okay, right? You’re not hurt?” I asked, scratching the back of my head. I really sucked at small talk.

“No, I don’t think so. But where is…?”

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“Teak! Stop…!”

I let go of her hand and turned towards the source of the yelling.

"Crap!" I ducked instinctively as a white blur rocketed towards me, barely getting out of the way in time and sending it right over my head…

... Directly into the poor girl in front of me. The pair of them crashed backwards together, rolling end over end, sending up a second cloud of feathers.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, uh, I mean, I didn’t…I don’t…” I gulped. “Maybe I should just come back about the job tomorrow?”