The dragons were just coming in for a second landing, but no-one paused to watch them. I suppose that any sight becomes routine if you see it often enough. The dormitories were the very building we were standing in front of, so there wasn’t much delay. Our rooms were on the top floor, subjecting us to yet another flight of stairs. I could feel the stress in my butt muscles, but my knees were unexpectedly unbothered. A perk of the ‘hero’ package, perhaps – the healthy joints of child. I wondered whether I’d be able to get out of bed the next morning, or whether I’d have the recovery of a child as well. Branneth and I had a two-bedroom suite, with a shared living room, study and bathroom. Lilianna had an identical layout for herself across the hall. I was willing to take a bet that they weren’t normal student rooms. Not with the extravagant fabrics and the magical equivalent of a bellpull to summon assistance.
> Other writings suggest that His Devotion, Saint Percival the Investigator, would have lost his bet. They were almost certainly shown to the best available student rooms, perhaps those usually reserved for senior aides, but this was the standard layout for students of that age and class. By sixteen, they would already be considered entitled to many adult privacies and conveniences.
I explored my room and the wardrobe provided for us. More bright white tunics and robes. At this rate, they might as well put us all into striped prison jumpsuits, and I had to wonder if that was their actual intention. I tested out the mattress and rated it about a six out of ten on the cloud scale. Not as good as the overpriced absurdity I’d had on my bed at home, but a step above a cheap hotel. I got up again before my brain took it as an excuse to take a nap. We wouldn’t have that long, and I did not want to be groggy and off my game around others.
Wondering back into the study, I examined the bookshelves. Various religious texts and some manuals, all in the same style. Some sort of printing was available then, whether it was technological or magical. My instinct was to disregard the first category of books, but that might not be wise. I was on a world were both religion and magic were real, so I had any number of instinctive thought patterns I would have to unlearn. I dutifully chose a few to start reading, but they were almost impenetrable. I was happy to abandon the attempt when the servant came to fetch us for supper/
It was still light, but it turned out to be another easy trip. The side entrance of the dormitories, half a floor down from ground level, opened back out into the courtyard. We braved the devil-towels and collected our supper from buffet tables in the upper dining hall. To my surprise the contents were much the same as lunch – small bite-size and largely unidentifiable concoctions on a variety of breads and crackers. I could not imagine just how much work needed to be done in the kitchen to plate these, and it didn’t seem likely it was anything that magic could have assisted with. I made some discrete inquiries, and my assumptions were confirmed. The academy had a staff of servants that outnumbered the even the students. A large working class was not often a sign of good social mobility.
This time we had assigned seating. They’d distributed the heroes, each to our own table of six. The other adults were placed at longer tables, with the existing students entirely absent. I was seated with Shanelly Oakswell, her parents, Academy Leader Silver, and Assistant Oxenden. Shanelly’s parents, House Holder and Hearth Keeper Oakswell, were calm and confidant conversationalists. Combined with Academy Leader Silver’s enthusiasm, they were more than willing to carry the burden of the conversation, with only some mild commentary from me. We were all on our best behaviour, except I could not help but sneak glances at Lilianna’s table. I wasn’t the only one. What was being said wasn’t distinct, but there was an unmistakable argument rising between Minister Greenfield and the parents of the shorter girl. At some point, we stopped pretending and just started outright spectating.
“I have to say that the seating was not particularly well thought through,” said Hearth Keeper Oakswell. “Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to seat the Fairbanks at the same table as Minister Greenfield?”
Academy Leader Silver looked uncomfortable in the way that strongly suggested he was the person to blame.
“No one expected the Fairbanks to be here, did they?” he said. “It wasn’t like Bethany Fairbanks was on anyone’s list of likely candidates. We had no idea until she arrived with her card.”
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“Perhaps,” joined in her husband, either oblivious or indifferent to Academy Leader Silver’s discomfort. “But it isn’t like she landed twenty seconds ago. They had more than enough time to make adjustments.”
Academy Leader Silver huffed. “I invite you to tell an organiser that they need to alter seating arrangements on a formal dinner and see how well that goes for you.”
I appreciated his point, but I didn’t agree. Any organiser worth their salt would very much want to be told. As early as possible of course, but any time was better than never. It was like saying you shouldn’t bother a firefighter. That might be true if your emergency was losing your keys, but it very much wasn’t if your emergency was a fire.
Someone stood up from the table and moved to physically stand between the two. He talked earnestly into Minister Greenfield’s ear. I assumed he fulfilled the function of Minister Greenfield’s assistant, given his seat assignment, even if he looked no more than a teenager himself. The lady who must have been Hearth Keeper Fairbanks put her arm on her husband’s and leaned over herself. That was less than successful. House Holder Fairbanks shook her off before getting up and leaving the hall entirely.
“Poor Bethany,” said Hearth Keeper Oakswell, and I judged she was being sincere. The girl in question was staring fixedly at her plate like she could set fire to it without the aid of a dragon.
“Pity the entertainment’s over, though,” said House Holder Oakswell cheerfully.
His eyes caught mine, and he caught me in a grin of my own. “Shall we graze the second table?”
I turned my head to realise that the buffet table had been replaced with an entirely different set of bites. Branneth’s table had already moved over to them, so I supposed there must have been some sort of unspoken order to it. The plates on offer were much smaller than the previous course, so I picked a random selection of four. By the time I turned back, my table and Branneth’s had been removed by the staff. Alright then. Back to standing. I took a few further steps with Academy Leader Silver, who looked unusually awkward to be speaking to me alone.
“How, ah, does your religion treat you?” he asked.
If he had had to pick any subject for small talk, I don’t think he could have picked a worse one. I scrambled to come up with something. But that was when I was struck by the most important realisation of my afterlife. I served the Court of Discovery. That meant I ‘worshipped’ some god that had the aspect of finding things out. I had an unobjectionable reason to ask whatever questions I wanted.
“It does lead me down some odd paths,” I said. “I have interests that make me seem odd to other people.”
Academy Leader Silver obediently took the bait. “Like what?”
“Oh, like questions about how the recordkeeping handled in the academy,” I said, entirely innocently, I swear.
“What recordkeeping?” interrupted Academy Leader Darkwater. “If the new section has recordkeeping, then that’s news to me.”
“I don’t think this is the appropriate time for this, Academy Leader.”
“You don’t think it’s ever the time. The new section randomly runs out of things, and then just comes and takes it from the old section, like we’re just their personal storehouse. Without even the courtesy of telling us.”
“Are you still on about the dragon lure?” asked Academy Leader Silver, exasperation heavy in his voice. “I told you that I didn’t order that. Besides, you know how much chaos there was when we were moving the mature dragons. We were going through it like water. It’s hardly surprising we were a little short.”
“And failed to notice for months?”
“What does it matter, anyway?” asked Academy Leader Silver. “It’s not like the old section needs any anymore, is it?”
That was clearly the wrong thing to say, and Academy Leader Darkwater hissed like an offended cat. I backed away to leave them to it.
> One of the strongest talents of His Devotion, Saint Percival the Investigator, must be his ability to start an argument and walk away.
I stepped a few paces back, and into the crowd that had filled their own plates. It was the same group of staff that had ‘rescued’ me at lunch, and they were more than happy to absorb me. I took a bite of the first, expecting it to be sweet, and almost spat it out when it wasn’t. Even more confusing to my expectations, the next selection was sweet. I took a moment to tentatively categorise which foods had been ‘first course’ and which ‘second course’. First course was hot, and second course was cold? Was the distinction as simple as that? Or had they simply cooled down by the time it could be served?
“Is someone going to stop them?” I asked of the two feuding academy leaders.
“Who could?” asked one rhetorically. “No, we see nothing, and we hear nothing. It’s safer all around. They’ll get tired of it soon enough.”
It was an excellent prediction, and the two leaders did shortly separate, each heading in a different direction. Next time, I would have to pay more attention to the audience before digging for information. And I would have to make a stop at the table of devil-towels again before I created a visible smudge on my bright unforgivingly white clothes.
Memo to self: find a way to beg, borrow or steal clothes of a different colour.