Chapter 10: Trauma

A day like this should never be this bright. The sun was shinning high in the sky with a gentle breeze that only slightly caused one to shiver this early in the spring. The last bites of winter not yet willing to release its hold, and yet… it was still a beautiful day for something that shouldn’t be.

Elaine stood in front of the plain wood box. It wasn’t adorned with extravagant handles or even polished very well, even the flowers that where around seemed to come from some cheap bargain store being that they were fake and all. Even her own mother’s tears were fake, she knew because she heard her mother practice before they got here. That had made her all the more hate her mother.

Though today was not the day for her to worry about what her mother felt or what she did, after all she was just capitalizing on what had happened. Life at the house only got worse when her father would go out on consultant work, or personal field study of his favorite animal: the north American brown bear. Her mother would constantly tell her pre-teen daughter that it was none of her business and that she should stay out of the affairs of adults. That’s when Elaine started to pay more attention. It was one night when she caught her mother on the phone with someone who didn’t sound like daddy on the phone at all… and the things she was saying sounded just like what some of the other kids talked like at school. So she put two and two together…

Her dad had just come back from a consultant job for his firm that was about some sort of land they wanted to turn into a new bypass. They needed a professional's opinion on the wildlife there and its long-term effects if and when they planned on building the bypass itself. Her dad had come through the door to his house calling out for his wife and daughter as he always did, announcing his arrival. It was routine, and something that she now missed, and would never have back.

When greetings and many hugs where given he walked into the kitchen ready to start cooking. He had always loved to cook… That’s when she slid into her favorite bar stool and watched her dad start preparing food. He had been gone for two weeks this time in a whole different state this time. Though it never failed to see him in the kitchen, he was a better cook than her mom any day of the week.

“Daddy?” she asked tentatively with a bit of apprehension in her voice. “Can I tell you something without getting too mad?” She asked crossing her fingers together infront of her rubbing her thumbs together.

Her father turned to her seeing something was amiss. “You can tell me anything and I’ll never be mad at you princess bear.” He said putting down the knife next to the cutting board which he was using to cut up some vegetables. He walked around the island and sat on his bar stool. “Whats wrong? Are you ok? Did something happen at school?” he asked in a bit of a rush… “Is it …. Boys?” he asked really not ready for that conversation yet.

Elaine looked at him slack jawed. “Oh God no… Boys are still stupid and will always remain that way dad.” She blurted then lowered her eyes. “Its… not boys… but mom.” She said barely a whisper. “Umm… don’t be too mad at me ok?”

“Oh did she over spend again at the mall? And did you finally help her out this time?” he said with a chuckle rubbing her head.

God why is this so hard to say… was it because mom told me not to? Didn’t daddy have the right to know?

“No… maybe… god why is it so hard to say?” she said lowering her head on the counter.

That’s when her father got a bit more serious. He put his hand on her shoulder giving it small rubs in reassurance. “You can tell me anything princess bear.” He said waiting patiently. “Just blurt whatever is on your mind aloud. You have no worries with me.” He said knowing whatever was bothering his daughter was really bothering her something fierce.

“UGH!... mom… she… umm… Talks to other Guys! I heard her a few nights ago on the phone and it wasn’t you.” she finished in a rush putting her hands over her head. “She goes out almost every other night and I usually don’t see her til the morning and she always tells me not to tell you. I don’t know what she does or where she goes. It just feels wrong like… you know?” she asked looking back at her dad worry in her emerald green eyes.

Her dad sat still for a moment, thoughts crossing his eyes as his brow knitted slowly together, something that she rarely saw… it was emotion… almost like sadness til it turned slowly into anger. “Your not in trouble… thank you.” he said taking the cooking towel off his shoulder and placing it on the counter before getting up and walking towards the back of the house.

For some reason, Elaine sat there and started to cry. That’s when she heard loud hush voices coming from the back of the house… then it turned to anger…. Then yelling. She flinched when she heard her mother scream and then something crashed into the wall in the backroom. She kept her head buried in her arms as she cried… That’s when she heard the front door slam and daddies big red truck crank up spilling out of the driveway…

…

But its my fault…

She cried as she slumped to the ground before the casket. Her mother joining her with her almost believable cries as well… even though she hated… she was still her mother and would take even the most fake comfort at this time. In the back of the young girls mind… she knew that her mother was doing this for the attention and to look like she actually cared.

All she could think of at that moment, was how it was all her fault… After her father had left her mother came storming through the house screaming at the top of her lungs about how her father had cheated on her and every bad thing she could think of. Obviously her father hadn’t mentioned to her mother that she was the one that had told him in the first place. Her mother just ranted and then got on the phone and went back to their bed room calling god knows who.

Elaine remembered it was nearly one in the morning… she had grabbed her blanket and laid on the couch waiting for her father to come back. . . yet… the door didn’t open, instead there was a knock. Did daddy forget his keys? She had thought as she remembered getting up and crossing the dozen or so paces to the front door unlocking it and opening it wide.

What she had expected was her father… but instead was a deputy… the blue lights behind him flashing. Her eyes got wide as her mother came up behind her… Why where there officers here at this hour?

“Mrs. Willow?” the officer asked his hands to his sides… Elaine wondered why she looked at them so closely, but remembered seeing the bandages on his hands and the burnt smell that came from him. He was distressed and had a blank look in his eyes.

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"Oh God..." her mother said, collapsing onto the carpet, sobbing and wailing uncontrollably. Elaine had just woken up, she didn’t quite get it why her mother was crying until she heard something from the deputy.

“There was a wreck on inter----”

Its my fault…

She blacked out.

Its my fault…

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“It was my fault…” she whimpered as she hugged her knees to her chest tightly in the dark hole under the rock. “I shouldn’t have told dad…” she cried softly speaking the words in her sleep. That’s when she accidentally nicked herself with one of her claws and woke with a start. Her eyes full of tears she blinked them away using her back of her hand to wipe away the trails. “ugh… that dream again.” She sat up hitting her head on the rock with a curse… Oh shit… yeah I’m not at college… She thought her mind starting to clear from the grogginess of sleep. Instead… I’m hiding under a rock in the middle of a uncharted forest… he would have loved this. She thought thinking about her father.

“Your dad seems really awesome, if he would have loved this.” Zee stated calmly in a soothing voice. “Tell me a bit about him?” She asked truly wanting to know.

Not… I haven’t… talked about him in a long time. She thought back at Zeraphine. How is Sera? She asked trying to change the subject.

Zee felt that and realized that her charge didn’t want to talk about the dreams she had been having or the thoughts of someone she obviously held in high regard. The angels couldn’t read her memories… they only experienced them through her dreams and thoughts. They were learning who Elaine Willow was just as much as she was learning them.

“Whenever you want to talk about it, I’ll be here.” Zee reassured her human in a soothing voice. “And as far as Seraphion… well shes spent. Used up and threw in the towel.” She laughed a little. “Seriously though… she used up her soul energy and needs to recover, but she’ll be fine I promise.” She said with smile.

How long was I out for?

“about twelve hours at my count… I could be off by a hour or so though.”

Damn… I really don’t want to go back to sleep right now.

“I understand… I’ll stay up with you.”

I’d appreciate that… but right now… I really need… to you know? Umm… ladies room?

“Oh… umm… that would be gross in here though…” Zee stopped and pondered for a moment. “I really, really, don’t want to leave your soul space… its soo much effort… but I also don’t want you to get hurt. So maybe just this one time. I’ve seen Seraphion do it a few times, but I really don’t wanna.”

Elaine paused for a moment thinking about how many times Sera had jumped from her soul space to real space. Did it take energy to do so? Zee had stated it a few times about some sort of soul power that they had been using just referring it to energy. Maybe it did take real effort? She pondered.

“Yes it takes energy to manifest outside of this place.” Zee said with a wave of her hand…

Yup… still felt weird. Elaine thought… I’m never going to get used to you moving around so much… can you… umm please? Please help me out this once? I’d really hate to have those amber eyes sneak up on me while… you know… doing my thing? She pleaded.

Zee sighed as she willed herself out of the soul space… “Having a physical body seems to be such a bother.” She pulled herself from the soul space, yet when Zee did it didn’t come with that popping feeling, instead felt like… like water running through her body outwards. It was gentler. Though Zee didn’t just stop there.

Elaines eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped a bit as she saw the pale white glowing haze start to take a step…. On a foot… as she materialized pulling in various mana and cosmic energy towards her. Elaine could have sworn she had pulled the very moon light around her as her body became more solid. What stood just outside of the fox hole was a young woman. Her skin was pale as if her skin had never seen the light of day, and yet it was flush in healthy. Her hair was the same color as her glorious wings, a pristine white, almost like that obnoxiously beautiful mans had been. She wore a dress with a silver band of material around her waist, the sleeves where sheer and seemed to flow with its own breeze as she moved. She was everything that Elaine would have thought a angel would look like… then it was ruined rather quickly.

“Wow this sucks…” Zee huffed shifting her bare toes into the dirt beneath her feet. “Yeah I want to go back… Being here really does suck… *Yawn*” She said her voice sounded like a young female who should have been the best singer in the world, soft and delicate at the same time. “Yeah… I’m tired. Come on human hurry it up.” She said leaning down and grabbing the discarded spear from the ground with her bare hands. Though the branch didn’t seem to cut her. There was a slight glow between the wood and her hands.

“So…. I’m really not schizophrenic huh?” Elaine stated as she pulled herself from her hole. She reached for Zee’s wings to touch the fragile looking feathers. “Can I… Can I touch them?” She asked still reaching for the feathers…

“I thought you had to use the restroom?” Zee stated folding her wings against her back just barely missing the dirty humans touch. “And no… your hands are dirty.”

Elaine sighed… “Yeah your right… please keep a look out.” She said as she looked for a good spot that no one would be able to see… “When in Rome, do what the romans do.” She said as she just found a random spot and used her claws and dug a small hole in the ground to bury the waste. Afterall it may attract other animals if they smelt the random smell and come and investigate.

“You done yet? I’m really getting tired.” Zee said with a small yawn bringing her hand up to her doll like face. Even though she didn’t look like she took this seriously she did keep an eye out. She looked around and walked a few paces, always keeping both Elaine and the trees in sight. She even glanced up a few times. Though when her eyes went over a particular branch she thought she saw something shift. “Fuck me…” she sighed pulling her arm back with the spear. “Stay where you are Girl.” She stated activating her divine right of progression. “I really hate having to use soo much energy…” she murmured.

The makeshift spear tipped with the Cornilagus’s horn started to shift in her hand. The wood becoming smooth and straight, the excess making its way up to the tip of the spear adding stability and a better seat for the horn to be placed. The horn itself elongated and flattened, becoming much sharper and purer. Its brilliant white blade sparkling in the moon light, attached to a polished, smooth, luxurious finish of a deep brownish red. It was a spear of spears in her hands. It had be transformed by her Right of Divinity over Progression forcing the makeshift spear to be the best that it could ever be.

Zeraphine Reared back hiking one leg up as she threw the spear with all her might. With a grunt of effort it went flying towards whatever was sitting atop the branch a mere fifty feet upwards. It flew straight and true, and yet whatever was up there was soo startled it fell from the branch with a… small cry?

Zee huffed feeling drained… both she and Seraphion had used everything they had… holding nothing back as she slowly turned to motes of a haze and flowed back into Elaine who was rushing around the rock.

“I missed…” Zee stated as the creature that had fallen slowly pushed itself off the ground, making small pained sounds before slumping back to the ground, not able to hold its weight up.

Elaine reached inside for either of her… Fucking hell… I mean… I have Angels in my head?! Are you two awake? She asked and didn’t get a response.

“Shit…” was all Elaine could say as she looked around quickly for something to defend herself with once again. Only finding a hand sized rock that she had used for camouflage on the entrance to her fox hole. She held the rock in both hands above her head. She approached the bipedal creature on the ground ready to swing dowards if it made any moves.

“Shit…” she said again letting the rock slip out of her hands falling behind her… It was wearing animal skins… like clothing.