The road was the best she’d ever ridden down, being perfectly smooth and flat. She didn’t know how the elves did it, but she was impressed.

Even the forest is clear and nice. I don’t know...how do they take care of so much land? I thought there weren’t as many elves as humans or dwarves. How can so few people do such a good job?

Voekeer had tried to explain, but he was only fifteen when he ran away, so he didn’t know much about the outside world, and Lyreen, well, she was just spoiled, so she didn’t know much either. Thokri knew more than both of them. Though the last time he’d been in elven lands was decades ago, not that much changes amongst the elves in such a short time. It was hard for her to think of spans of time that long.

I’ve only been alive for two years. Twenty or two hundred, I just… I can’t do it yet.

A village came into view. It was a strange sight.

I still can’t get over them not having walls. I mean, how good are the rangers?

The elven rangers were sort of like the guards and the army put together but not really. They were made up of the best hunters in the forest sent from each village to train for a century before being assigned to forty person units and sent out to patrol the roads to gain experience for a few centuries before they are allowed to head into the forest. She still didn’t get why so much training was needed. Voekeer and Lyreen were good at what they did with only five years of experience, and Barika was amazing with twenty. Thokri seemed to know everything, and he had fifty. She just didn’t see the point in training for two or three centuries.

The elf village was clean, spotlessly so, and the perfect road split off into perfect streets with slightly raised sides for people to walk on. There were street signs that had directions to popular places around the town like the inn, which they had here, or food places, or even the town hall.

She followed the directions the sign had to the inn. She looked around as they went. The buildings were all made from wood which she expected because they were in the middle of a forest. What she didn’t expect was the amount of craftsmanship that had been put into each one.

Human buildings were well built, but unless it was for some lord or wealthy merchant, they wouldn’t be decorated past some white wash and a flower box. But here, every building was not only perfectly crafted, all the wood was sanded smooth and stained or painted in bright colors. Most of it was carved in some fashion as well with long curves and round doors and windows. Every building had glass windows as well, and a few had little panes in the doors.

An elven wagon rode past them. It was just as well made and decorated as the buildings, and she got a little jealous. Her own wagon felt kind of frumpy now.

“I want an elven wagon,” Anna said.

“What’s wrong with this one, lass?” Thokri asked.

“It’s ugly,” Anna replied. The look Thokri gave her was priceless.

“Lass, it’s a wagon, not a wench. It doesn’t matter what it looks like so long as it carries you and your shit!” Thokri said.

Anna just gave him a look and went back to watching the road. She pulled up next to the Inn, and the elves came out to take care of their wagon. When she went to pay them, Thokri shook his head no.

“We pay inside all at once, and don’t give the wenches tips. They don’t like it,” he said.

“Don’t call them wenches either,” Lyreen added.

“I’d never do that anyway. I call them barmaids or barmen,” Anna replied.

“Don’t call them that either,” Voekeer said.

“I just won’t talk,” Anna replied.

“You can talk, just, you know, don’t act like him,” Lyreen said pointing at Thokri.

“I’m not changing, lass,” Thokri said.

“You’re a dwarf. Everyone expects you to act like an ass, but she looks human, and people will get angry if she does, so shut it!” Lyreen replied.

“BAH!” Thokri said loudly. The elves looked annoyed at their bickering, so Anna slid off the wagon and the nearest elf took the reins.

“Will you be needing anything brought in from your wagon?” he asked.

“Uh, my friends are still in there,” Anna replied. He looked at her like she was stupid.

I feel kind of dumb for saying that actually.

Voekeer said something in elvish as he walked up. The elf nodded and replied in elvish before hopping onto the wagon and flicking the reins. The wagon jerked into motion and off he went.

“What did you say?” Anna asked.

“I told him to get the horses shoed and have the wagon looked over,” Voekeer replied.

“I could have done that, lad,” Thokri said.

“No one would have let you use their shop or tools,” Voekeer replied.

“Bah! I’m a forgemaster, lad. They should be happy I’d even walk into their farrier,” Thokri said.

“And some of these people have been at the forge for a thousand years longer than you’ve been alive. They don’t care if you’re a forgemaster or not,” Voekeer replied.

“Bah! Elves!” Thokri said and started for the inn.

The rest of the party started to walk after him, catching up quickly. He pushed the polished wooden door open, and they went inside. Instead of being greeted by a room filled with tables, this inn had booths like the carriage stop had.

An elf woman waved them in and led them to one of the large booths in the back next to a huge window. They sat down, and she left them there without saying a word. She returned a moment later with a silver tray that had seven glass cups filled with water by the smell of it. She set them down in front of each of them then left with the tray, again not saying a word.

“What’s going on?” Elaine asked.

“The cook is going to come out and talk to us,” Voekeer replied.

“Why?” Elaine asked.

“Because that’s how we do it,” Voekeer replied.

To Anna, it was a perfectly good answer. Her human friends had used it plenty of times to explain far more horrifying behavior than a cook wanting to talk to the people eating the food he or she made, but for some reason, Elaine didn’t seem to like it very much.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

She took a drink of the water. It was far colder than it had any right to be on a warm day this late in the spring. It had the faint hint of some acidic fruit, reminding her of the ones the ships would carry with them to stop the men from getting sick, although this wasn’t the same fruit. It was sweeter than that fruit had been.

She held the glass cup up and looked through it.

How’d they get it this clear?

She looked over at the huge window and examined the glass it was made from.

It’s just as clear and the same thickness across the whole thing!

She took another drink of the cool water and looked around the room. The more she looked, the more she realized just how much effort had been put into everything here.

They stained and sanded the rafters?

An older elf woman walked over to their table and sat down. She smiled.

“So, what brings all of you to my inn?” she asked.

“We want a place to spend the night and eat. What else would we be doing at an inn?” Anna replied. Lyreen punched her.

“Why are you like this?” she asked.

“Like what?” Anna asked. Lyreen looked back at the innkeeper.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive my friend. She’s simple,” she said.

“Hey!” Anna said.

“Hush!” Lyreen replied.

“I’m not simple!” Anna said.

“She was asking why we’re on our trip, not why we stopped her for the night, so just hush. You’re making it worse!” Lyreen replied.

“You didn’t have to tell her I was stupid!” Anna said.

The innkeeper laughed causing both Anna and Lyreen to look at her. She said something in elvish, and Lyreen turned red.

“She’s not my sister!” Lyreen replied quickly.

“Of course, you aren’t. You’re flat,” Anna said.

“Why is everything about tits with you?” Lyreen asked.

“’Cause they’re fun and bouncy. You’d know that if you had them,” Anna replied.

“I’m an elf, you idiot! Elves don’t have huge fat sacks hanging off their chest!” Lyreen said.

“I’m going to smother you with these huge fat sacks if you call me an idiot again!” Anna replied.

The innkeeper burst into laughter; the kind that would have done a dwarf proud. Every time she looked up and saw the looks on Anna’s and Lyreen’s faces, she burst into laughter again. She took a few breaths and smiled at them.

“I haven’t laughed like that in decades. Anyway, we have roast meat, stew, fresh greens with sauce, or baked river fish with a side of pickled cabbage,” the innkeeper said.

“I want the fish!” Anna replied. The innkeeper nodded.

“I’ll have the roast meat, lass,” Thokri said.

“I’ll take the stew,” Voekeer said.

Elaine ordered the roast meat as did Barika and Rose. Lyreen ordered the greens.

“We have ale, wine, mead, and cider,” the innkeeper said.

“Is the mead sweet?” Anna asked.

“Yes, very,” the innkeeper replied.

“I’ll have that,” Anna said.

“Do you like sweet drinks?” the innkeeper asked.

“Yes,” Anna replied, smiling at the thought.

“I’ll bring you out some cider as well. It’s sweet as well. I think you’ll like it,” the innkeeper replied.

“Okay,” Anna said. Her friends ordered what they wanted to drink, and then the innkeeper left.

“She was nice,” Anna said.

“Just wait till she brings back the food and tells us about it, lass,” Thokri replied.

“She’s going to do that?” Anna asked.

“It’s another thing we do,” Voekeer replied.

Why do they all look like someone died? That sounds fun!

She sipped the water while waiting for the food. Her friends were talking about the journey again. She already heard everything each of them had to say.

I wonder why people repeat themselves so much? Maybe it’s because they can’t remember everything like I do. Or maybe they’re just bored?

The innkeeper came back carrying a tray. The other elf was with her also carrying a tray with the rest of their food and drink.

They sat the trays down, and the other elf woman left. The innkeeper passed out their food, stacked the trays, and slid them to the center of the table, then sat down with them.

“Those greens are from my garden. I have a greenhouse behind the inn, so we have fresh vegetables all year round,” she said. Lyreen poked one of the chopped leaves with her fork and stuffed it in her mouth.

She looks like she likes it. I still don’t get why people eat raw leaves like that. I mean, how hard is it to cook them? I like cooked leaves and meat. I wonder if you can cook bark ‘cause it’s kind of gross raw. Maybe wood would taste good cooked. I should try it some time.

“Now, because most of you wanted the roast meat, I’ll tell you that I bought the meat from butcher this very morning, and that the pig was butchered today before the sun came up. I don’t know how that man does it, getting up every day when it’s still dark to work until after sunset, will the tree bless him for all he does,” the innkeeper said.

“It’s fine pork, lass,” Thokri replied.

“A complement from a dwarf! I never thought I’d see the day!” the innkeeper said.

Thokri laughed and took another bite. Anna twisted a piece of the fish off with the fork provided.

“Careful. There might be a bone or two in it still,” the innkeeper said.

“Not the first bone I’ve eaten,” Anna replied.

The innkeeper covered her mouth and giggled. Anna looked up at her.

“What?” she asked.

“Think about what you said, child,” Barika replied. Anna pondered for a moment before realizing what the innkeeper was laughing about.

“Oh, that’s right. Bone is another word for pecker. Well, I haven’t had any of those in my mouth, but I did eat some balls once,” Anna said. The innkeeper turned red and kept giggling.

“You really didn’t need to say that last part,” Elaine said.

“Was it weird?” Anna asked.

“No, but it sounded dirty,” Elaine replied.

“Oh, right. I didn’t mean it that way this time,” Anna said.

“It’s alright, sweety. I was just being bad. So, how’s the fish?” the innkeeper asked, still smirking.

“It’s good,” Anna replied.

“There’s a river nearby, and some of the boys go out to fish every day. I buy the big ones,” the innkeeper said.

It’s kind of pitiful compared to the ones I used to eat, but I really shouldn’t say that. People get mad when you call things small, unless it’s supposed to be small. Then they get mad if you call it big. I really don’t get people.

“I lived in a fishing town. I used to eat fish all the time,” Anna replied.

“Oh, that must have been wonderful. I love fish,” the innkeeper said.

“Oh, it was. My favorite was when we made fish stew!” Anna replied.

“That sounds interesting. How is it made?” the innkeeper asked.

“Oh, it’s really easy,” Anna replied. She then went on to describe how to make fish stew, at least the kind served in Fishport anyway.

“I don’t think the boys catch enough fish for a big pot, but I might make a small batch for myself.”

“You can use salted fish too, but it’s not as good,” Anna said.

“We don’t get much salted fish in the great forest, but I’ll keep that in mind,” the innkeeper said.

Anna took a sip of the mead. It was very sweet and didn’t have much alcohol in it. She nibbled the pickled cabbage next to the fish.

Tangy and sour. I like it.

She was surprised that elves served something like this. Everything she’d been told about them suggested they liked bland food, but this was anything but bland.

Maybe the dwarves were just being jerks. They don’t like the elves for some reason. Every time I ask a dwarf why they don’t like elves, they just say they like them just fine, but then whenever they talk about them, they go Bah! Elves or something like that. At least the elves told me why they don’t like dwarves, but I don’t think dwarves are all that uncouth or barbaric. They just like to drink and joke, that’s all.

She took a fork full of both the fish and the cabbage and took a bite. The tangy sourness of the cabbage blended with the smokiness of the fish, and it tasted wonderful. She made a happy sound, and the innkeeper smiled at her.

“Well, I’ll let you enjoy your meals. Just let us know if you need anything,” she said as she stood up.

“Thank you,” Lyreen said.

The innkeeper smiled again and then left. Voekeer looked around for a moment.

“Where’s Lord Emerald?” he asked.

“I didn’t know if he was allowed in, so I over fed him, and he’s sleeping it off,” Anna replied.

“That’s a lot of food,” Elaine said.

“It really was,” Anne replied. They finished their food, and the first elf came back out and cleared the table.

I did like that cider!

They paid for their rooms and were given a large iron key. Anna looked it over. It had some kind of enchantment on it, and while she didn’t know what it was, she guessed it had something to do with the lock on the room.

They climbed the stairs. They were clearly for elves and much taller than she was used to. Her room was at the end of the hallway near a window that had a large plant sitting on a table in front of it. The plant didn’t really look like anything special. She looked at it for a few minutes and decided that it must be an elf thing to have a random plant sitting on a table in front of a window for no particular reason and went into her room.

The lock clicked in a satisfying way when she turned the big iron key. She removed the key and put it in one of her belt pouches before turning the door handle and pushing the ornate door open. The inside of the room was well lit, even late in the evening. There were bright mana lamps on the walls and a huge glass window that was decorated with lead inlays of a huge tree.

Anna undid her belt and set it on the small desk next to the bed. Then she pulled her dress off over her head and tossed it on the bed before walking over to the window and looking out. The view was of another street. There were still people walking around outside. One of them looked up, and his eyes went wide when he saw her. She smiled and waved. He waved back and nudged the man next to him who looked up as well.

He grinned at her and waved as well. After a moment, the first man nudged the second and they walked off. She went back to her bed and laid down looking at the ceiling like she aways did before sleeping.

I can’t believe they polished the rafters here as well.