A-CHOO! I was sneezing more. I felt another tingle in my nose, and A-CHOO! Doctors and nurses filed into the small room. I was scarcely breathing at this point. I started to cough. The last thing I saw was a young man in a white lab coat stick a needle into my arm, and everything went black.

I’m surely dead. I thought. I’m on my way to Heaven… I slowly opened my eyes, but the bright light gave me a headache. I shut my eyes again, and only dared to barely lift open one eye a few minutes later.

I was in a hospital room. Beeps and Boops filled the room. Two nurses and three doctors were all doing their jobs, all of them completely ignoring my awakening.

“H-” I tried to say, but my stomach complained by giving me an awful cramp. A doctor turned around. He gave me a sad look, and then turned to a machine that represented how much my heart was beating, or something like that. I looked over and saw that the line was going lower, and the beeps came out slower.

I could feel tears running down my face. I tried to breathe calmly, but every breath I took was sharper and more painful than the last.

My vision began to blur. I closed my eyes and let death take me away. I could hear a faint beeping.

I tried to put it out of my mind. I began to try and picture what a good afterlife I would have, if that even existed.

Beep. . .Beep. . .Beep. . .Beeeeeeeeep…..

I woke up all sticky from sweat. I put my hand over my heart and let out a sigh of relief.

“Just another stupid dream.” I mumbled. I stood up and stretched my aching back. I walked over to the lightswitch next to the door, and turned it on. I blinked several times before finally getting used to the light. I looked around the room I had lived in all my life. It was small, but all I had. Across from the door was a small airtight window, that showed a view of a busy street. Facing the window was a desk attached to the wall, and a comfortable desk chair. Next to that was a door that led to my bathroom. To the left of the window was a big mirror, about as tall as myself. To the right of the window was a twin sized bed with white sheets and a matching pillow. Facing the bed was a tall wardrobe.

In between all these things, there was just enough room to take two big steps if I really tried.

I walked over to the window, the only contact I had with the outside world besides the doctors who came to check on me.

The sun was just starting to rise. It must’ve been about two o’clock in the morning. I groaned, realising that I’d woken up in the night again because of a nightmare. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. I pulled the comfortable sheets over me. Rolling onto my side, I began to daydream of a world where everything was good…

Walking to my locker, I bumped into Fiona, my best friend. She had bright red hair and freckles all over her face. Big brown eyes looked great with her purple framed glasses.

“Hi, Mariel!” she yelled over the noise in the school hallway.

“Hey, Fiona!” I called back. I continued walking to my locker with her on my trail. There was the usual crowd of kids gathered around my locker, waiting for me to come.

“Hi, Mariel!” they cried in perfect unison.

“Hey guys.” I answered with a smile. I pushed my way through the crowd and opened my blue locker. I beamed at the mirror I had placed in there. I was gorgeous. Too beautiful for words.

Suddenly, as I was combing my hair with the crowd of teens around me, my nose started to feel tingly. A-CHOO! Slowly, the image in the mirror changed, and I realized that I was dreaming. In the mirror I saw a girl about twelve, with a long narrow face, a head much larger than normal, blue eyes so pale they looked transparent. Her stringy copper color hair slung over her bony shoulders.

My nose felt tingly again, and the world around me began to dissolve. I felt dizzy, and fell on the floor. The kids swarming me morphed into what I pictured my parents looked like. Hundreds of each one called me names and laughed. Then the laughter died down as one version of them came and picked me up. I went back in time, to the day I was born, except that I could think like a twelve year old girl.

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My parents called me ugly, and then left at the hospital. I cried and cried, but they didn’t come back. The doctors set up my room in the hospital, and a nurse came in to bottle feed me until I was old enough that I didn’t need that.

I woke up, even sweatier than before. A pleasant daydream had turned into an awful nightmare. I stood up and looked out the window. The sun was high in the sky, and the clouds were just starting to cover its bright beams for the day. Maybe it was about eight o’ clock in the morning. Rachel would be here soon for breakfast.

She was a therapist who came in at mealtimes to talk. She was very nice, but what made me sad was that she always had to wear some kind of a special suit so she didn’t get germs on me. I sat down on my bed as I thought of what to do in the meantime. Rachel loved seeing my drawings, so I finally decided to make one.

I walked over to my desk and grabbed a paper from the small box I had. I took a pencil and began sketching out a landscape of a magical world. In the distance was a tall castle with four tall towers. The starry night sky was populated with dragons of various sizes and shapes. The viewpoint of the picture was a forest. Magical trees sprouted from strange angles, and fairies fluttered everywhere.

I decided to not put this drawing in color, so I began to shade and put detail. Just as I was finishing up the castle’s towers, there was a light knock on the door. I eagerly stood up to see Rachel smiling at me through the window on my door. Seeing my smile, she opened the door and walked in.

Rachel had dark green eyes and frizzy brown hair. She had black skin and dark red lips. Today she had attempted and failed to keep her poofy hair together in a bun. It looked like she used a leaf blower to blow dry it.

“Good morning, Mariel.” Rachel said, smiling and sitting down on my desk chair. “Would you like some breakfast?”

My stomach growled. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn’t realised how hungry I was.

“Yes please.” I answered, clutching her stomach. Rachel handed me a tray covered in clear plastic. I went to sit on my bed, and took the stretchy plastic off. I grinned from ear to ear when I smelled it. Two poached eggs, a slice of bacon, two pieces of toasted white bread, and a cup of water were waiting on the gray tray. A fork and knife sat on the side on a napkin.

“Thank you.” I added.

“No problem.” Rachel said, and then she looked at my drawing. “Oh, my. . .”

“You like it?” I asked, biting into my toast. I knew what her answer would be, whether the drawing was good or bad.

“It’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed. Every time Rachel saw one of my drawings, she used a different adjective. Yesterday had been a drawing of an eye, and she called it charming, the day before had been a house, and she called it appealing, the day before was a half eaten apple, she called it grand, and I couldn’t remember before that. I always wondered what the next day’s word would be. Perhaps tomorrow would be gracious, lovely, or dazzling?

“Thank you very much.” I responded. Rachel turned her gaze away from the drawing, and fixed onto me.

“How did you sleep?” she asked, completely changing the subject.

“Badly.” I mumbled. I didn’t like this subject, and she knew that.

“Nightmares again?” she questioned.

“Yes.” I confessed. Rachel tilted her head. I knew she wanted to ask me what it was this time. I sighed and told her about my two nightmares. The one where I died, and the one where I was in a school, and everyone was my friend, then changed into my parents and abandoned me.

Rachel was a very good listener. She never interrupts, but her eyes show that she has lots of questions. When I finished, she leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Mariel, do you want to have parents?” she asked softly. I bent my head forward. I had completely finished my breakfast and put the empty tray, dirty cutlery, and wet scrunched up napkin on my night table.

I could feel myself wanting to cry. I always asked myself this question, but never thought someone else would ask me. Rachel waited patiently for my answer.

“I. . . Yeah.” I croaked, feeling ashamed.

“Why do you feel shy to say it?” Rachel asked.

“Because, everyone knows I’m going to die soon, anyway. And even if I did get parents. . . ” a tear rolled down my face. I hated when days went like this. “What if my new parents wouldn’t love me for how I look?” I whispered.

Rachel stood up and lifted my chin. I looked right into her eyes. She smiled warmly and wiped a tear from my cheek.

“How you look doesn’t affect who you are and who you want to be. Your birth parents weren’t thinking when they left you in the hospital when you were born. Who cares if you aren’t as pretty as a princess? I certainly don’t. And you shouldn’t, either.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Rachel had always been like a mother to me. I loved her until the day I would die.

Seeing me smile, rachel sat back down and looked at her watch.

“It seems I have to go now. I’ll be back at lunchtime.” she leaned over and gave me a hug. While in that position, she whispered in my ear: “Just remember I’ll always be there for you.”

She left the room that I’d lived in since I was two.