Once the chaos of that moment settled down, the inevitable questions came. I could see Candace wanted to jump in with all her regular exuberance but I glared at her and she took a step back.

I responded, "Well, after what I called about, I just kept changing more and more. And I don't know why I'm this way."

Mom frowned and asked, "Do you think it's…finished, Kenny? And are you…" She put on a dusting of red and folded her hands. I certainly felt about the same but I had no idea, so I excused myself to check things out properly.

When I left, the tension eased a little. Candace presented Allison and all that she had bought. Of course, there were words about overspending but Candace already launched into her explanations about how everything she'd bought was actually a "vital" purchase.

I could shut all that off for a few moments as I closed the door. It had been like this each time. Candace's (apparent) positive mood helped but there was so much unknown. With mom and dad, they had each other. For me, I had them all but I wasn't quite going through the same thing they did. If I'd become the typical handsome boy then dad could give pointers. If I'd just become some animated version of me then at least I had myself to cling to.

Looking in the mirror I saw a pretty, flat-chested girl. Candace had ditched my hat and reclaimed her cardigan so my hair blasted brightly even if I turned the main light off to let the nightlight show. With it on, it bounced a pastel flash which made me clench my eyes. And my eyes. Those brilliant blue orbs. I actually kinda liked them.

I wondered over the combo of pink and blue with all the rest as I slipped off my clothes. I checked the small clock over the toilet. Thinking back to the time when I'd first seen the spot on my hand, I realized I was pretty close to the longest-observed conversion if it was still ongoing. Even those who had post-animation shifts or who became changelings saw signs in the last few hours.

With that in mind, I undressed and set my clothes aside. I used the big mirror to get a better view. Looking straight down, I felt a flash of emotions. My chest rose a little more. It wasn't much but it did shift a little and feel different than I was used to. Though I wasn't sure why, I had this sense like it didn't have any higher aspirations, certainly not to challenge Parker.

Then, I looked lower and the back of my neck prickled. I couldn't see anything down lower. It took some effort but I eventually found something left. At the same time, it felt different. There was some subtle caving and formation but that was it. Otherwise, it felt like my groin had been mashed inwards. I found I could pee in the normal way as it 'extended' a little when I went. It was simpler sitting down but I found it a small victory that I could manage standing without a terrible mess.

Of course, all victories felt small as I looked in the mirror. I inspected and questioned the mirror. I pinched and tugged at my cheek. It pulled out like a painter's brush smearing a color. And it hurt.

I rubbed at my face until a reddish-tint emerged. Putting my clothes back on, I settled into the dry tub and leaned my head back against the rim.

What if I was one of those few percent who didn't accept their change, didn't want it, or didn't show their animated image at heart? I shut my eyes until I heard soft knocking on the door. I could hear mom's voice.

"Are you alright, sweetie?"

I answered her quickly that I just needed some time. She offered whatever I needed and added, "We're all here for you. It's just a surprise. We love you always and no matter what."

I slumped down in the tub more to look up at the ceiling. The pink hair clustered around my face but I didn't feel irritated enough to contort myself to brush it away.

I wanted to glower at my "inner self", imagining it as a traitorous imp. It could've shown me as a girl like Parker. Although, I never felt her boldness. But at least I could've gotten that over with and decided, "Okay, I'm a girl now, and here it is, all out there". And if it wanted to show me as Candace's shy little sister, it at least could've finished the job. What good was I as this half-baked mess?

I sulked for a while, to the point where I knew that it wasn't really fair to hoard the bathroom so long. I ventured out and was going to hide in my room but Candace was camped out and expecting me. My status update disappointed her as much as me but was relayed swiftly. Then I hid.

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I plopped down on my bed and tried to find the same position as the tub. I could imagine I was leaning back, afloat on invisible water. I clenched my cheeks. I could remember how the water would lap at the sides, pushing to get inside my mouth. They tried to teach me how to float on my back but I knew it was just a way to try to get me to the deep end of the pool.

I imagined my legs dipping down in the water. I imagined them not touching bottom. I could feel the water digging at my lips. I kept them closed. I tried to raise my head like they said. Hands behind my head and flat for more resistance with my chest up. I arched in bed.

I was going to drown, wasn't I? My legs kept dipping lower and lower. But I was bobbing. Just my imagination. Or had that happened? Maybe before I panicked. Maybe I'd actually floated and never realized it. I brought myself back to that moment. I knew there was no real water, so there was not the same fear.

Leaning on my back, I began to shift, I bent forwards and tried to paddle like they told us. I tried one of the strokes. I was definitely better than I remembered. I swam with my eyes closed, I moved by touch. The water was warmed by the long boil of the summer sun but still cool as my arms flicked through the air.

Suddenly, I stopped. I realized I was paddling in the water. My legs were kicking against it. I wasn't touching bottom. I opened my eyes and looked down. On top of my pale, blue sheets, I rested.

I took a breath. Okay. Who was I, if I wasn't who I expected? I examined my hands. With the light of my room, they had a muddled pink coloration ranging to melon in shadow. I touched them together. It was a different touch, different shape, length, and everything. I twisted them in the lamp's light. I swung them.

I poked and prodded myself all over but understanding eluded me. I tried a more objective perspective. Could I be somehow intersexed in a certain psychological way? Maybe some part of my analytic nature had divorced me from a binary division of gender? That didn't explain how much the girlish physical parts were winning over the gender-neutral ones. Perhaps, I subconsciously wanted to better understand my sister and, despite my aversion to a lot of the things she was interested in, I still craved to feel closer to her. So, why didn't I become her ideal sister?

Could it be that I was ambivalent? Maybe, I contained some part which didn't mind a feminine aspect but my male ego still wanted to hold on? Then, some part of me went and (mentally) kicked me with a thought.

I had always tried to be sure. To know as much as possible. To seek to understand and analyze. Could it be my inner self was something of a jokester and wanted to give me the ultimate quandary to puzzle and seek for the rest of my life? It was already working. There was a creeping ache passing across the side of my head, so I let it go and rested.

I was sure I hadn't rested for long before I heard what was clearly Candace's knock on my door. Her knocks never changed.

She'd come to invite me to a clothing try-on, a movie, an impromptu book club, hair braiding, first makeup practice (I glared at that), photos with parents, dinner with parents, a call to/plans with Parker, a sketch with mom, a talk with dad, board games with everyone, along with more random, assorted ideas to make Allison as happy and smiling as possible (but not necessarily in that order).

I could easily recall young Candace planning her mastery of every swimming move as well as becoming girl Neptune of the Seas and a gigantic monster to terrorize all mankind. If anyone was everything in one breath, surely they were my sister. So, what about me?

Any normal day I'd wave off her animated chaos and I'd settle into my relative normalcy. But I gave her a roll of my eyes, deep blue of the distant seas, and said, "One of those first but okay…"

So, she seized me and hauled me out of the room face first.

There would be tomorrow and a school full of uncertainties in strangers and friends. There would be the rest of my life and questions about how I saw myself and how the rest of the world saw me.

But, on a waning Sunday evening, there was my sister's hand wrapped around mine, dragging me into the deep end of possibilities unknown, and I didn't feel afraid.