I remember stars, spirals of them, and planets; so many galaxies, the flickering white holes that disappear in seconds, along with their opposites. I remember how I used to be before my change, when I was just a mundane unthinking universe.

Thinking about it now, I've realized that I know so little about my birth; I'm older than my first thought, thus I know of no events that occurred before, yet for some reason I know the cause.

A cataclysm for those who inadvertently caused it, a society I never knew, one I can't imagine; they from before were at the epitome of what they called science, freeing themselves of all concerns except one. It was something they considered an inevitability, my death, which would have led to their end.

They strived to prevent it, despite holding little hope for success, creating concepts that make no sense to me, and doing what should have been impossible, before reaching a conclusion. The only thing capable of preventing the death of the universe was the universe itself. Me.

But, what could one possibly expect from a vast unthinking thing like a universe, well, their expectations were low, however, it was close to the end, so they made an attempt to inspire, using an incomprehensible thesis they succeeded, though they never knew.

I who had just thought for the first time, did not save them, so like the stars, planets, and everything else, they were wiped out by the inevitable, a death caused by endless expansion which I barely managed to survive, all thanks to them, because I could think.

The reason I know all this is because they left a message, something they assumed I would understand, what became the basis for all my knowledge, the reason why I managed to build something from all the rubble.

I am not the universe they knew. I am something vastly different, a thing they'd have called alien. There are no stars within me, no spherical blobs of matter called planets, yet I'm not empty.

I who was inspired by those from before, who they'd have labelled Universum Inspiratum, made something new.

In essence, I made a world, however, it doesn't fit the description, since, in reality, it is much more. It encompasses my entirety, and grows with me, making it truly endless, an endless realm.

Physics? The science of old? I don't think they apply, for what I've done would have been called magic by those from before.

A lot of time has passed since the inception of those events, I've since then added more depth to my nonsensical realm, and have created cores that are vastly inferior versions of my mind to manage what I rather not.

Now, after all that excitement, I'm bored, very bored. I've existed forever, and for so long I've been doing so much, my rest is well deserved. The question I must ask though, is, what now?

Thinking of the present, I'm currently looking outside myself, at a vast dark emptiness; seeing this void, I can't help but wonder, are there others like me? It's possible, but right now I can't know for sure.

As far as I'm concerned, the void has always existed. Previously when I was busy, I would occasionally give it a glance, but, this is the first time I've actually taken an interest.

It's nostalgic, the emptiness reminds me of when I was empty, though I doubt it actually is empty…

I'm bored, maybe I should try that thing called sleep.

I'm awake again, though I'll admit I never expected to actually fall asleep. How long has it been? According to my cores, it's been a while, though from my perspective it's been a minute. Sleep is stupid, I'll continue to do without it.

I'm still bored, I think I'll take another look at the void. And by all means, it should seem empty, but this time it's different. Something's floating by, it reminds me of the heat radiation that surrounds an active traditional oven.

Meaning that, for the first time in a long time, I've found something new, which I had to have. So I pulled it into myself using controlled gravity, then quickly handed it over to my cores for them to determine what it was.

Waiting, I'm used to waiting, but why do I feel so restless? Why does it feel like they're taking too long? This feeling is new, and I feel this way because I'm finally excited about something after so much boredom…

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I see, I'm being impatient.

Perhaps I was a bit hasty in my conclusion, sleep might not be a useless thing; I do not need rest, but I don't mind skipping time, thus, once again, I'll sleep.

Disturbed? No, irritated, my cores had come to a conclusion, so they did what I've now instructed them to never do, they woke me up.

After such irritation my expectations were high, but what I was told only made me confused. That ball of radiation wasn't actually a ball of radiation; according to them, that see-through thing is like a capsule, it contains memories, as well as a paused ego.

Curious, intriguing, confusing, like the endless realm within me it makes no sense. I cannot explain it, I can only see and know, therefore whatever this is, it's mystical, like a self hidden by self, a backup brain that's nothing like the brains I know.

Though I don't truly understand, there's a new question now; What should I do with it? From its memories, I know what it used to be, I even have its answer as to why things keep on living. It's not for sex, joy, or self-fulfilment, if that was the reason, many more would have killed themselves. Living things live on for the sake of it, which is why they are so accepting of death.

That is what I've learned from its memories, which is fascinating because it wants to live. It's unsatisfied with the way it died, filled with regrets; Its memories are in a partial loop, implying the question, why did I do what I did?

Sad, pitiful, and so many regrets, but it seems that it knows what it is; according to its memories, it's a soul, and it has so many concepts for what comes after death, a place called heaven, another called hell, or perhaps after death you are made into something new.

Based on what I know, and what I can see, death brings none of that. Looking at the soul, it's in a dreamless sleep, stuck in that state for eternity.

Interesting, fascinating, curious, that gives me an idea, why not change this? I could give the soul another chance, but, would it be able to adapt to my surreal realm? Its world was grounded in science and logic, like the me before the thought.

To give it a second chance, I'd first have to make it change, but before I decide to go on with this whim, I think I'll take a look at its ego. This could be entertaining, but never before have I tried communicating with something so inconsequential.

'Hello? Are you there? Please respond if you're awake.'

'Uh. What? Where am I? Where did the colours go?'

A reaction! Hopefully, this newly conjured telepathy of mine has no ill effects.

'Hello there, you died, currently you're in me, and I exist in the void.'

'Void? Wait, who are you? Are you sure I died?'

It seems confused, which is understandable, perhaps I should use an analogy.

'Imagine a large hall, close the door behind you, then paint everything black; in that pitch blackness, there is a glowing white circle, and you stand within it. That black hall is the void, the glowing circle is me, and I'm an entire universe.'

'A universe? So I died. Fuck. I shouldn't have done that, why can't I shout?'

How amusing, were I innocent, I would be so no longer, but I should answer its question.

'We're communicating telepathically, and shouting in your mind is impossible since thoughts don't create sound, shall we introduce ourselves starting with you?'

'Right, manners. I'm Andrew, the surname's Graham, are you some sort of God?'

A question I was not expecting, especially since I had clarified, perhaps this soul lacks intelligence.

'I've already told you what I am, and those from before would have referred to me as Universum Inspiratum, I am no God, nor a transcendent, all I am is, me.'

'I see. Are you going to judge me?'

'I'm already judging you, though you still seem to misunderstand, I'm a universe that's different from the one which you know, and though you're dead now, depending on my decision, you could see colours once again.'

'Are you offering what I think you're offering? For something that's not a deity, you sure are powerful, but may I ask why?'

Finally, a meaningful question, hopefully, this means that this conversation will stop going in circles.

'I am more capable than you could possibly comprehend, older than you can count, done more than you'll ever know, but despite all that, I'm bored. You are something new to me, a chance to temporarily relieve myself, I've seen your regrets, and know a bit about your past, so I know that you want this. I am willing to give because I want to see your story, watch you struggle, and learn your perspective.'

'So that's it. I think I suffered from dementia.'

'I know.'

'Perhaps that's why I did what I did. I could blame the man who shot me, but I am the one responsible for my death. It was none of my business, I should have ran and called the police. Instead, I confronted some guy who had a gun pressed against the temple of the mother of a child. I punched him.'

Why is it letting everything out, telling me what I already know? Is it seeking comfort? From a stranger like me?

'That man did not take it well, he shoved my old bones to the ground. Didn't even hesitate, did not look me in the eyes. He just shot me. The bullets weren't the reason I died, it was the blood loss and my feeble body. I don't know what had come over me to make me do what I did, but I regret it because now I'm dead.'

'I know what happened, and I'm sorry, but my offer still stands. Where you'll wake up will be different, but you like fantasies, your body will also be different, you'll adapt. Regardless, I'm warning you, letting you know in advance. So, do you want to go through with this?'

'I don't think there's any alternative, and your intentions don't seem bad, so yes, please, give me a second chance.'

'You will be fundamentally changed, but it shall be done.'