It was a nice spring day. Surprisingly enough. After all, I still could hardly tell why the seasons in Zabal were analogous to those that could be found on Earth, even though the realm was supposedly flat and had two very visible suns. Well, to be fair, perhaps the latter were just luminous discs in the skies that looked and felt like suns... Whatever the case, I had long since decided to take things at face value and explain anything abnormal away with a simple, if convenient statement; ‘magic’. And, despite having spent only a little over three years on Zabal, I was quickly growing to become quite the master of that particular skill, if I dare say so myself.

For example, why was the center of the Realm apparently its warmest spot, and perennially carpeted by what sounded very much like a dense, impossibly expansive rain forest? Easy, magic! Then, why, at least according to Grisella, things gradually grew colder towards the edges, which were permanently covered in ice and snow? Again, magic! And finally, why were said freezing lands occupied by roaming hordes of the undead? Why, magic, of course!

Granted, I could probably have dubbed the latter an ‘emergent phenomenon’, to pretty much the same effect, but I felt like staying true to my innovation.

Whatever the case -and even though I felt like being forewarned of the existence of large, raging groups of undead creatures could certainly prove quite useful, somewhere in the future- none of it was particularly relevant at the moment. Except, perhaps, the ‘nice weather’ part. After all, I was currently out in the wilds, so to speak, a good couple of hours on foot away from the village. Why? Well, ‘magic’ too, surprisingly enough!

Though, when it came to my escapade, in particular, ‘magic’ was not the origin. Rather, it was the objective. Curtly put, after fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft a squealing Ghordl and unceremoniously brought an end to its life -something that, incidentally, had taken place just about a couple of weeks prior-, I decided to take advantage of that newly discovered shortcut to try and get some magic of my own. In simpler words, I realized my road to power was killing shit.

And kill shit I did. Even gleefully, at that. At least, until Grisella mentioned she couldn’t keep financing my genocide of Ghordls, or rather, that she could, but wasn’t willing to. She considered she had already eaten enough meat to last her for a while, as in, perhaps a few decades. Having fed her enough to keep an entire platoon satiated for a few months, in the span of just a handful of days, I couldn’t find it in me to even try and disagree.

Since I couldn’t well buy the beasts myself -never mind that I wasn’t even sure there were beasts left to buy-, wasn’t willing to wait for heavens know how long for the witch to experience a change of heart, nor did I consider it morally acceptable to start wantonly slaughtering my neighbors or their cattle, I found myself in a bit of a conundrum.

Thankfully, it just so happened that this new world of mine was filled to the brim with nasty critters that no one would mind me killing. Well, aside from the critters themselves, of course, who probably wouldn’t be too enthused by the idea...

Just like on Earth, though, no one gave a flying fuck about what vile pests might think. Thus, the only thing standing in the way of my bloody plan was that I was still trapped in a three-year-old body. Hardly a suitable tool to step out into the wide world, let alone going on a hunt for monsters.

By sheer happenstance, however, that is where ‘magic’ came to the rescue, again!

While the most recent progression of my hold over Pneuma had not yet allowed me to graduate from juggling around slightly misshapen, shiny balls -even if, after just a week of practice, I could now produce six of them, instead of my previous limit of four-, it still had, however, brought along rather astounding benefits. Chief among them was a newly discovered ability to temporarily enhance my physical capabilities by infusing -for lack of a better word- my limbs with the ethereal substance. True, the technique did not come without its drawbacks, but it was still manageable...

So what if any strengthening received lasted only for as long as I could hold my breath, in a literal sense? Did it even matter that using it was excruciatingly painful, not unlike forcibly breathing-in blistering fumes only to then let the fire spread through the rest of the body?

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

No matter what, the infusion of Pneuma still let my childish body temporarily match the strength and agility of a well-trained, athletic youth! Also, at least according to Grisella, despite the agony involved, it was not only a perfectly safe thing to do, but would even prove beneficial to my muscles, bones, and tendons in the long term! In fact, from her own admission, a profuse application of that very same kind of enhancement throughout her life was what had allowed the witch to remain agile, even without any active supernatural help, despite her stupidly advanced age.

Thus, I cajoled the old crone into escorting me out for a hunt. The small price involved was merely revealing to her what little knowledge I had ‘suddenly’ managed to remember pertaining to the domain of ‘Arcane Lightning’, in a clear enough way for it to be useful. Honestly, turning Maxwell’s equations into something mystical-ly sounding enough had been a bit of a long shot, especially when I still had yet to find out exactly how the ‘arcane’ part worked, but I had apparently done a good enough job. Or, at least Grisella had seemed to believe so, looking absolutely thunderstruck after my slightly obtuse explanation, only to then spend an entire week behind closed doors. Then again, I don’t mean to brag, but I have long since turned the act of blowing meaningless air out of my mouth, while making it sound insightful and profound, into a form of art!

Conniving tendencies aside, after meandering around for a while, I finally found myself confronted with the bane of the locals, so to speak. And what a sight it was! Whether crops or Ghordls, I had been told these little bastards preyed on everything they could sink their dirty fangs in.

I stared at the enemy from afar, a good twenty steps away from it. Rather than a forest proper, my surroundings reminded me more of the small woods that can sometimes be found on the steppe, but there was enough vegetation to hide from my prey’s red, beady eyes. Biding my time, I inspected its roundish, furry form for any weakness. There were none particularly evident. My eyes did, however, note that its antlers looked sturdy and dangerous enough, as did its frontal teeth. At least, dangerous to a midget, or someone the size of a three-year-old kid. Otherwise, though, I have to admit that the small rodent looked fragile enough, as a whole, not unlike any random bunny, and thus not particularly intimidating.

That’s right! My terrible foe was no one else than the legendary jackalope! Because, just like cousin Kasha, Reality was apparently still not even close to getting tired of mocking me.

Of course, the locals had another name for the dastardly creature, but I couldn’t care less! Who the fuck came up with ‘Tainted Hare’ anyway!? A jackalope’s a jackalope!

Watching the tiny rodent snack on some nondescript shrubs, a soft sigh escaped my lips.

Alright, let’s get done with it.

The dagger Grisella had gifted me was properly held in my left hand, in case things somehow managed to go south. You never know. Hopefully, though, I wouldn’t be needing to make use of it, any time soon.

Instead of the beautiful, if rather impractical sharpened bit of metal, my weapon of choice was something with a bit more range to it. True, made of just a few strips of tough leather and a patch of hide, the tool hanging from my right hand was rather unbecoming, but my time in the Legio had really taught me how to put the thing to good use. Plus, one could technically say that at least one king had been crowned thanks to one of its multiple siblings, which did lend it some prestige.

Still, I felt a little dumb, slowly spinning the oversized sling above my head and, honestly, the scene undoubtedly looked even sillier than it felt. That thought didn’t stop my brain from focusing on the task at hand, though, methodically commanding my arm to gradually accelerate. A few seconds later, I clenched my teeth in anticipation of what was to come. Then, into the metaphorical bonfire I went.

Taking in a sharp breath, I held it down, mentally commanding the Pneuma into motion even as the pain that ensued quickly threatened to make me lose consciousness. The effects of stoically enduring the torture were glaringly obvious, though, as the weapon’s dull thrum soon turned into a sharp whistle.

Even as the jackalope stopped to look for the source of the alien sound, I gave the sling a final whipping, letting the stone shoot forwards. The fierce beast barely had any time to react. The projectile struck it center mass, smashing its body into the ground. The small monster didn’t get up after that.

Congratulations! By plundering the essence of your fallen foes, you have improved your own standing.

“Well,” A raspy voice suddenly started, almost right in my ear. “that was kind of anticlimactic. When you said ‘monster hunting’, I figured there’d be more fighting involved. Maybe a bit of a risky stunt. You could at least have had the decency of missing a couple of times to spice things up!”

I knew Grisella had been shadowing me -we had agreed as much-, but I hadn’t felt her walking up to me so, honestly, her suddenly speaking up had almost given me a heart attack.

“Silence, doddering trollop!” I glared at her, a smirk curling my lips. “We have a deal! We’re still doing this all day, and tomorrow, and the entire week after! Even if you grow so bored that you finally decide to depart for the afterlife! ”

The witch glared back, before sighing. “’Biggest mistake of my life...”