“Listen to this, Desir! Sienna, that woman… she actually dared to blame me for us being late for that badminton session! Even though she forced me to clean the house before! I told her that I’ll finish the cleaning when we got back, but NUOOOO! It just had to be done right there and there!”

“Well… Cleaning the house isn’t really a pressing thing...”

“Isn’t it?! So why must she be that particular? It isn’t like a few hours away would make any difference? The house won’t get any dirtier anyway!”

“Haha, sounds like you have it tough...”

I placed my elbows on the restaurant table as I rested my head, struggling to hide my sigh. As much as I would like to tune out from this conversation, the man before me would likely drag me back in with some emotional blackmail from my past. That was the curse of having a friend that knew me since I was ten. It didn’t matter if it was elementary school, university or my current job. The only constant was this man.

Len Petram. That was the name of the perfect blonde man right before me. His crystal blue eyes flickered in the light of the barbeque fire as if it was reflecting the inner turmoil that was messing up his drunken state. A clear complexion with next to no blemishes and a sharp jawline that seemed to reject fat… was this guy really a man?

In my objective opinion, Len could give any movie star a run for their money, and I wasn’t the only one who felt so. Lazily glancing to the left, I could see at least two tables of office ladies secretly stealing glances at him. However, in his drunken stupor, Len was unable to identify those hyena gazes.

Taking in a deep breath, I straightened my back and replied: “Well, I told you that living together would be tough. You were intoxicated by the rose-coloured lenses and jumped right into it. Did you really think that every day would be a honeymoon and you won’t be forced to do the dishes?”

“Yeah, I know...”

“Since you’ve already made the choice, you’ll have to live with the consequences. If you really want to build a future with Sienna, you’ll have to accept her obsession with cleanliness.”

“I know… that...”

“Though, I guess that she could learn to compromise with you too.”

“That’s right! Why must I always be the one who takes a step back! Sometimes I would like her to be in my shoes!”

In the end, I’m just a bystander in their relationship. Although I was friends with Sienna too, there was no way I could leave my failure of a friend out in the lurch. I reached out and flipped the piece of pork belly on the grill. After cutting it into pieces, I placed a thick slice onto Len’s plate.

“Here, have a bite. It should be perfectly cooked.”

“Haha, always the chef!” Len chuckled, downing the thick slice of pork in one gulp. “Phew! Your cooking is as delicious as always!”

“I didn’t do anything, you moron. We’re in a barbeque shop. You just put the meat on the grill, wait for a few minutes, and it’s done. If you want to compliment someone, compliment the farmers that reared the pig or the chefs who marinated the meat.”

“Can’t you just take the compliment?”

Len shrugged his shoulders and stifled a laugh. He picked up his beer mug and took a few big swigs from it. Evidently, he had some leftover grievances from their prior quarrel, so Len was letting it loose.

“Hey, why is it that you give the best love advice even though you’ve been single for the longest time? Is it the wisdom that comes from being a virgin monk?”

Oh… This guy is getting kind of rude.

“I don’t know if I give the best love advice, but it’s probably because I’ve never been in a relationship that I can see things objectively. I’m not clouded by the disease called love.”

“Disease, huh? As usual, your choice of wording is harsh.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Hehe, that’s because you’ve yet to experience the sweet nectar of love! Now, let’s find you a girl as soon as possible! How about those two ladies? See, they’re looking at you right now!”

Len pointed his gaze to the adjacent table where two office ladies were seated, the very same ones that had been ogling Len all night. Bloody moron, it’s not me that they’re targeting, you know?

“Don’t be stupid. I think you know my stance pretty clearly by now. I’ve sworn off relationships.”

“Tsk, you’ve just haven’t met the right girl! Being in a relationship is great, you know!”

“And who is the person that had been complaining about his girlfriend all dinner?”

“Urgh…”

Really, what was this guy thinking? I guess the beer had really gone into his head and fried up all of his mental faculties. Hah… Before he gets even drunker and becomes a pain in the ass to deal with, let’s switch locations.

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“You said that you were coming over, right?”

“Yeah… After that fight with Sienna, it’s hard to just waltz into the apartment and lie down on the same bed.”

“Then let’s go. I still have some beer left in the fridge. You can continue your rant there.”

“Oh my… The big bad man is going to take me home tonight!”

Len put on his best effeminate expression and played the victim. Fake tears started welling up in his eyes, and his handsome face hid a trace of bashfulness. This asshole…

“Fucking… You know what, let me call Sienna instead. I bet she would love to see you drinking alone at a barbeque restaurant surrounded by dozens of office ladies.”

“Hahaha! I’m joking, joking!”

Len took the bill and raced to the counter, half-worried that I would turn snitch. Smiling, I let out a soft chuckle before I traced his steps.

❖❖❖

Twenty minutes passed since we left the restaurant in our taxi. Len was grumbling about Sienna all the way while I had to sit patiently by his side. Fortunately, he wasn’t drunk enough to hurl on the cab, but as a trade-off, he became more talkative.

You know… He’s my friend, but sometimes I wish I could just punch his perfect teeth out.

It didn’t take long for my apartment complex to come into view. Like many others in the city, I lived in a one-room apartment. Though, since I lived on the outskirts of town, it was far quieter than the bustling lights that ruled the city. There were long jogging and cycling tracks, a large park with a lake at its centre and even plenty of supermarkets or restaurants.

It was the perfect residential area for a young bachelor like me who thoroughly enjoyed my peace and quiet.

“As always, this is such a peaceful neighbourhood.”

“Isn’t it?” I puffed my chest, a little proud that I’d found this hidden gem during my apartment hunt. “When you’ve settled down with Sienna, perhaps you should move here.”

“With our social life? It’s impossible. The only reason why we’re renting that stupidly expensive apartment is because of its convenience. Where else can we find a place that’s a walk away from our offices, our gym, all of the good restaurants and department stores? Not to mention, we have badminton sessions with executives from work and frequent cocktail events...”

“That’s a lot...”

I was a little speechless at how busy the couple actually were. As expected, they are worlds apart from me, a mere lone bachelor that stays home all the time.

“Be careful of burning out...”

“Oh? Is that concern I hear? Haha, if you really want to help me, why don’t you find a partner soon so that big brother here can be relieved of his duty?”

“Big brother? You’re younger than me, aren’t you?”

Len had the fortune to be born on Christmas Eve, a date that everyone could remember. At the same time, it meant that he was almost always the junior. Among those of the same age, I didn’t know anyone born on a later date than him.

“Yes, you are indeed older than me, but I have the seniority.”

“Seniority?”

Len placed both his thumbs together and curled the rest of his fingers into the shape of a heart. Boldly, he exclaimed: “Seniority in love!”

… How does he say such embarrassing things without changing his expression?

Desperately holding back my face-palm, I slapped the heart shape with a vengeance and snorted derisively. “Next time you do that, I’m throwing you out to sleep on the streets!”

“Ehhh, you shouldn’t be that cold to your friend of sixteen years!”

“It was nice knowing you. I hope your future endeavours as a sewage rat would work out.”

“What? You’re not just throwing me out on the streets but into the sewage?!”

“I hear the government has upgraded our drainage system. It’ll be warm enough to sleep in… probably.”

“No way in hell that’s true!”

The two of us continued to bicker as we ascended up to the topmost floor. There were eight apartments on every level, each one accessible via two elevators on either side. Since my apartment was right in the middle, there was no need to fuss about which elevator lobby we took.

I led the semi-drunk Len down the corridor, and we gradually reached my door. However, just before I could kick that gold-haired drunkard in, something striking caught his eye.

“Oh? That’s interesting...”

“Hmmm?”

I raised my head and turned in the direction of Len’s gaze. A group of five young women got out from the other elevator lobby and began walking in our direction. They were all dressed in warm clothing, befitting that of the cold autumn weather. However, their style was anything but mundane. One girl was draped in a fur overall while another was rocking an adorable fleece jacket.

They lacked the elegance of a working adult woman, but neither were they immature school kids who were just dipping their toes into the world of fashion. In fact, I knew exactly what they were. A few of them were bellowing in laughter, with the one leading the way stumbling as she walked. Clearly, they were just as intoxicated as that fool by my side, if not more.

“Ah, just some university students.”

“I didn’t know you lived in a dorm?”

“Don’t be stupid; this place is way too expensive to be a student’s dorm.” I snickered at Len’s poor assessment. “A few months back, a university student moved next door. They must be her friends.”

“What?! You were hiding a girl under my eyes this entire time?! Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve found a partner?!”

“... Are your ears even working? How could you have possibly heard that I was hiding a girl?”

“But why didn’t you tell me about a girl moving next door?! A university girl nonetheless!”

“Is that really something worth mentioning?”

“Of course it is! You mean to say that all this while, when I stayed over, there was a fresh university girl right next door?!”

“I’m going to record that and send it to Sienna.”

The mere mention of his girlfriend made Len flinch, and he instantly turned silent. Really… isn’t he already wrapped around her finger?

“Also, you didn’t stay over THAT much. After she moved in, you’ve only stayed here once or twice.”

“And yet, I’d never met her.”

“Why would you have? I don’t even know her name let alone...”

Before I could complete my sentence, the door next to mine snapped open its locks and slowly flung open. The five girls that were headed our way stopped and universally plastered a smile over their drunken faces. A young woman emerged from the adjacent apartment and welcomed the five university students with a hug. Evidently, she had been expecting their arrival.

And just before the girl could force them into her room, she turned around and met my gaze.

What stood before me was a perfectly symmetrical young lady that was on the precipice of maturity. Her decanter-shaped waist was wrapped around by a tight red cardigan, complementing the silky smooth black hair that flowed down to her back.

She possessed a sharp jawline, one unlike my wide-squarish one, making her face seem smaller than my hand. Yet, oddly enough, her small face was large enough to highlight the adorable features of her face. Big, cat-like emerald eyes hung ever so proportionately over her pixie’s nose. Her lips were slightly chapped from the cold, but it was still glistening in a rosy-pink hue.

The girl didn’t wear make-up, and yet her appearance was enough for anyone to suck their breath in. In fact, looking to my right, I could see Len dumbfounded the sight.

Yes, just as Len’s appearance was enough to match those on the big screen, the girl’s stunning looks could tower over most actresses. Of course, that was just my own opinion.

While I was lost in thought, the girl shuffled her feet meekly and voiced out her concerns: “D-Do you need something?”

“Ah, no, I was just reaching home.”

“I-I see...”

The girl blinked rapidly, visibly uncomfortable with her current situation. She was even looking towards her friends as if she were seeking safety. Although we’ve been living next to each other for a few months now, I barely communicated with her. Also, because of my intimidating stature, it seems like she had a certain degree of fear towards me.

Damn... I’ve sworn off getting into any relationships, but it did sting a little seeing how visibly repulsive I was to this young beauty. Let’s end this awkward exchange, shall we?

“I know it’s a Saturday, but don’t make too much noise, alright?”

“Y-yes! I’m sorry, I’ll make sure that they’re not shouting past ten.”

“Haha, as long as you understand. Alright, enjoy your evening.”

Pushing Len into my apartment, I bade the young girl farewell with the brightest smile I could give. However, that smile backfired as it seemed like the girl shivered like a squirrel in fear. Holding back my discontent, I whisked Len into the living room while I headed for the fridge.

“Beer or wine?”

“Neither,” Len scowled as he slammed his palms on the wall, barring my path to the kitchen. “I’ve got some questions for you, Desir...”

Ah, why do I have to keep dealing with this bullshit?