I woke up in a ditch, the early hour sunrise having just broken over the mountain peaks. Without proper attire, as it goes; I mean, wearing only my birthday suit, as they say. 

It seemed I wasn't far from home, thankfully, and in this state it isn't a crime to be nude on the condition you're not noticeably excited about it. 

Which I wasn't. I really wasn't happy at all! I was more erring on the side of stupefied. 

How'd I get here? I couldn't have been drunk or drugged, my head didn't hurt at all. I felt fine, I thought.

Maybe more than fine, I felt physically great. Like I just did something extremely satisfying…?

Clue #1. 

I tried to remember the last memory I had, but it was fuzzy. I recall going to sleep. I think I had a nonsensical dream?

Walking by the church, I covered my left and right (gonadz) for fear I might be crucified overwise. 

That's what I would say… but instead there was a 7-11 where the small but tall church should be. 

Clue #2.

Sprinting back to my apartment complex, I wondered to myself when that was put in. 

- - - - 

I closed the door behind me, congratulating myself on a sneaky, ogleless return. 

That was enough adrenalin spent for this entire year, I sighed in relief, still huffing from the sudden blue hour race. While putting on some clothes, there was a stir, that distinct sound of someone rising.

From the bed: "Babe?"

Clue #3.

I didn't have a lover, did I?

I realized at once I didn't remember at least the past day and figured this must be related. "Yes?" I answered this voice, turning around. 

"Could you stop huffing and puffing and blowing me out of REM sleep?" 

She sleepily craned her neck to my direction with squinted eyes. "Come back to bed," she gestured to me to hold her, revealing her bare top half. 

I crawled into bed next to her and she gave me a smooch while running a hand through my hair. "Can I be big spoon?" She cooed. 

Apparently she just wanted to cuddle. I took my half on shorts back off, leaving me in my underwear, and got in position to be little spoon without so much as a word. 

I could use a hug right about now, anyways. Last I remember it was the 15th of August, so I had the next three days off anyways. 

She glided her body right up next to me giving me a squeeze and practically purred. Then she gave me a poke through my boxers. 

"…"

It rapidly got more stiff, and longer. I gulped. I almost sqeaked when she (could I really say she at this point?) started a grind.

"Sorry, I've got morning wood," she said. 

It's at this point in a movie that the character screams and freaks out, but this isn't a movie. I was just a little uncomfortable when I considered this was a consequence of some actions I didn't remember.

"...Don't you mean I've got morning wood?" I anxiously replied.

To that, she grabbed my hand and guided it down... 

It certainly felt warm and phallic, and it wasn't mine I was touching. 

I just nodded my head, not particularly phased after this morning's excursion. Of course I brought over a beautiful woman, who also happens to have a penis, when I was blackout drunk. 

I decided to lay it all out, scooting away. "To be perfectly honest, I don't remember all of last night." 

"What do you mean, Bret?"

Was that really my name? It rang a distant bell and seemed to fit the image of myself, but… no, I really wasn't sure of my name, now that I thought about it.

"Are you okay?" I heard her say louder, gazing into my surely distressed face. I didn't have an answer.

I tried to calm the rising panic and think logically. What did I know for certain? Mostly brain fog.

"Are you confused, dizzy, nauseous, how do you feel right now?" She got up in a rush and seemed to be looking for something.

"Actually, I feel better than usual."

"Blurry or double vision?" She had a first aid kit. "Sit up." 

As she walked back to me I got a look at what had poked me earlier. I'm no expert, but it seems she's a hermaphrodite. 

And I had reached a conclusion about my identity, or lack thereof. "I think I have amnesia."

"Keep your eyes still," she instructed, looking into my eyes with a small flashlight. She then inspected my head, asking, "what's the date?"

"August 16th 2022, I think."

"It's the 17th," she sighed.

"Where are we right now?"

"My apartment," I answered

"What happened?"

"I fell asleep and woke up in a ditch."

She looked at me funny. "Do you know who I am?" 

"...No."

"Well, I'm Morgan, and I'm your girlfriend." She was obviously upset. After quickly checking my body head to toe, then throwing on a dress, Morgan drove me to the ER.

- - - - 

The doctors asked me many questions, and I had Morgan's help to fill in the gaps. Several tests were run but they all looked fine.

It wasn't until the both of us were back at home that I got any answers. 

It's like my mind has been randomly sponged. Nuked in various places.

Morgan immediately drew a bath once we were back, came back to me; exhausted and sprawled out on the couch, and told me: "get in the bath, we've gotta talk."

I expected the situation to be uncomfortable as we undressed, yet there was a comfort to be had in our shared defenseless state.

I got in the tub first and Morgan followed shortly after. I wanted to let out a sigh as I smelt the fragrant salt she had put in, but it felt inappropriate. 

"I suppose I should introduce myself, everything considered. I never thought my boyfriend would forget me," her arms crossed and irritated. Somehow with the nudity and distance, while not that far away, was metaphorical miles.

I can't say it was a ridiculous attitude, I'd probably be upset too in her position. And skinship is supposed to bond people together, so the bath might have been the best idea…? 

"Your birthmark has changed. I wasn't certain until now. It's in the same spot, it's the same color, yet the shape is slightly different."

Clue #4.

"So that's why you picked the bath…"

"Have you noticed anything else strange, darling?"

Perfect timing. 

"I'm not sure what we can do about it, but there were strange occurrences," I told her about my morning jog in full truth, leaving no details unsaid and putting emphasis on the clues so far. 

She placed her left hand flush on the right side of her face.

Thinking, for a time.

"So you could say that what struck you most odd was how you got there nude; the church, that's never been there by the way; and me whom you don't remember at all. Hmm… maybe you're a doppelganger changeling?

"Please don't compare me to multiple fairytales..." 

At least compare me to just one. 

"You last remember going to sleep in your bed. At that time I was still on a business trip, so there's no alibi. That was on the night of the 15th. Then the 17th, just this morning when I also arrived, you were in a ditch. A one day gap, or about 30 hours."

"What are you, a detective?"

"No, I'm a private investigator."

That's basically the same thing!

"Memory loss is one thing, but it sounds like you firmly believed there was a church, that's memory alteration."

"Hmm…"

Is she really onto something here?

"Next, you don't remember our year long relationship. Any of it. But there's an element still missing, something that doesn't add up and you haven't noticed. What if I said this: it's not normal for men to be this uncomfortable with someone intersex."

I'm sure you could see the surprise on my face. That's right, I was confused about that in general. 

Brain fog obscured why I might be, but I instinctively felt it… weird.

"Forty percent of the world is intersex. But you 'forgot' even that… which is more like brainwashing. Combined with a different birthmark…"

Her leg shot out of the water, kicking me in the chest then smoothly reflexed into a striking position, out of my reach. 

"Who are you really!"

Who am I… 

"I'm not sure of my name or how I got here, but I'm just like anyone else. I'm human, I have a childhood and adolescence, and I need you to believe in me right now. I'll trust my previous decisions, I'll trust that I love you."

I grabbed her leg.

I gently pulled us together, embracing her, and she embraced me.

"Maybe you are a changeling…But that was something only you would say."

"I'm curious, how did I end up dating a gorgeous PI?" 

"We met when I pulled you over for speeding. You asked me for a date, and since it was my last day as an officer, I figured why not?" She laughed, lowering her face into my shoulder. "You're just the right type of romantic, and we clicked. You had everything that I didn't, that I wanted, and I wanted you…"

She was sobbing now. 

"If you ever forget me again you won't be getting away with a single kick, it'll be one hundred stabbings."

Scary!

She raised to her full height, haphazardly wiping the tears away.

Pointing to me in a dramatic pose, she uttered these words, "Get dressed, you imposter! I'm on the case!"

She grabbed a towel and stormed off, I did the same following close behind. 

"So being… intersex, that's normal? I don't have anything against it, I really don't, but do both of them work and all that?"

"I feel like I'm talking to a child, but yes, they do both function for most of us. What I can't figure out is why you wouldn't know that." It seemed she was shaking her head at me, but she was turned around. 

"Wait, how do you keep from accidentally getting yourself pregnant!"

She did a snipping motion with her fingers. I couldn't help but think it was a stupid question after that. 

"It's not a stupid question. If you're a kid, that is."

"Why would a kid ask that? If a child knew enough to ask that I'd worry."

"When we're done today you really need to…"

"?"

"That's it, you need to read a history book! It could tell us something, maybe there's a pattern to the information you forgot."

"Oh, not a bad idea!"

"Sometimes I even astound myself," she nodded with a grin, brushing her fine silky hair. 

For a brief moment I could see the appeal, her appeal, and just as fast as it came it went away.

"Okay, get your weapon, we're rolling out."

I'm not sure what about that word made me freeze (which was becoming an infuriating quality of mine at this point). Maybe it was the vagueness of it that made me freeze…

No, it's more likely that I was caught in uncertainty this time. What did she mean by weapon? As I thought about a word that eluded me, I realized I had quite a bit of knowledge in many weapons. 

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

What's the word, though… it's on the tip of my tongue, damnit!

"What're you zoned out for?"

I returned to reality, turning to her, who was now buckling a rapier to her belt. 

"Morgan, what is the name of that thing that explodes and shoots pieces of metal?"

"Are you talking about… magic?" She guffawed, somehow seeming in character. "Or maybe an exploding arrow? Ha!" 

"Nevermind then. It'll come back to me, I'm sure. Where do I put my weapon?"

"Just take your bastard sword since I'm bringing a rapier." 

She pointed to the closet. 

Opening the closet, I was presented with a seven foot gun safe. It was open.

"Wait, that's the word, gun!"

"Were you trying to describe a railgun? Well, it's kinda like an explosion, I suppose."

"We can talk about that later, was this supposed to be open?"

She rushed over as I opened it all the way. After inspecting each weapon, ranging from a beautiful spear to a rusted dagger, seven in total. 

"Your sword is missing…" 

Clue #5.

Even I knew this was a clue. Having a weapon go missing is a classic blunder. 

"We'll inspect our apartment when we get back, we've gotta leave as soon as possible for where you woke up," Morgan clicked her tongue.

"Got any ideas?"

"A few, but let me stew on it for now. I'd be a shame if any evidence disappeared because we waited too long."

Morgan handed me a longsword in its sheath with nonchalance. 

To me, I was mesmerized. I couldn't help but pull it part way out of the sheath and turn it around, feeling the grip like it was the first time… 

Holding this weapon now, I was certain I was more than proficient with it, yet the weight of actually holding it was alien. Truly, this had to be the first time I had held such a thing. 

I felt the steel, stealing the warmth from my hand. I adjusted my grip on the hilt to where I knew, instinctively I knew, where it was supposed to be. 

It was as if I had fought one hundred duels, and none at all.

This did not pass by Morgan.

"What did you notice?"

"It just feels… strange," I deflected my true thoughts. 

I looked at her. She was just standing there, a hand on her hip, staring back at me. I had the feeling we were both trying to get a read on each other, each of us unable to. 

"Let's go," she finally said. 

- - - - 

"The scene of the crime."

"Could you stop talking like we're in a noir movie?" 

Well, she was a private investigator, so if anyone had the right to talk like one it was her.

 A ditch off the road, landlocked by a field of prickly sagebrush in bloom. 

While not currently a literal scene of a crime, it would surprise no one if there were at least a few to be found. 

"Where exactly did you gain consciousness?"

"It had to be right about here," I walked down next to a drying up puddle of water. "I wasn't wet at all, but I was close to this puddle."

Morgan walked the perimeter, scanning the ground with Polaroid sunglasses. When she looked at the muddy water, her face lit up. 

She pulled out something that looked like a tablet. She turned to me, wiping it off and carefully inspecting all sides. 

Well, that was easy. Isn't it usually more difficult than this?

"So you were naked but you had a tablet with you? Looks like a fancy eReader…"

It turned on in her hands, but I didn't see her press a button.

Rolling text on the screen wrote this: 

'Hi! - I'm glad you found me! - Your next task is to subdue the witch. 

'Information: Audrey Hickens.'

It displayed an address. 

"What the hell…"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Something reeks about this." 

"More like something is rotten with the person Bret."

"Did you just make a Shakespeare reference at my expense?" 

Morgan tapped the screen, seeing as there were no physical buttons to be found, and it took us to a new screen with tabs at the top, one was "LOG" which we were at now and the other was "ASK".

LOG displayed the rolling text we had seen word for word, and ASK seemed to have a keyboard we could type with. 

"How strange," Morgan noted.

The screen was indeed an e-ink display that was also a touchscreen. There was no charging port and the only other information I could see were numbers at the bottom left, they read 1:55, but there was no telling right now what that even meant. 

Morgan went to the ask screen and punched in "test"—

"Hey!" the device wrote out in response. 

"Maybe ask who it belongs to?"

Morgan typed out 'who is your owner' and the device rolled out:

That's what we're trying to figure out, in a way,  who made me. I currently belong to the person who stands beside you, but what are your names?

Me and Morgan looked at each other, as if to assure ourselves we had seen the same thing.

"Oh, I see now, it does have a camera in it; see that dot on the corner? It looks like it also has a microphone."

With some hesitation Morgan typed out our names, saying, "It feels wrong being cordial with a computer."

In response: "Morgan! May I call you Morg?"

Morgan began responding but I stopped her hand, "let's see if it responds if you just type in the letter y." 

She held the backspace and did this. 

"Morg it is! :) It's nice to meet you both, please take care of me."

"Wait, y for yes? I don't want a nickname like Morg!"

"I'm more concerned about how it knows my face…" 

In any case, it might respond to terminal commands. I grabbed the device from my partner and typed in '--help'.

In a large font the device displayed: Please don't command me!!

Morgan said what was also on my mind: "this makes even less sense."

"It could be one of those AI's… I think they call them chatbots. Some of them are even machine learning, using neural networks and such."

"In English, please?"

"Basically it's artificial intelligence that was made to be able to answer questions and respond to simple sentences."

When I looked back down at the device it had more text than before. I said aloud, reading it, "Would you really prefer me to just be a mindless slave to you? Sad face." 

"Yes," Morgan said without hesitation.

"Not you!"

Seems like I really got it cut out for me. 

In my peripherals I saw text rolling out on the screen.

I looked down to see the words: Got you, LOL.

A chill went down my spine. 

And as soon as I had looked down to confirm it actually said this, that piece of text disappeared.

I strongly resisted the urge to shiver. 

"Let me talk to this thing some more, you do your thing and tell me if you need any help." 

She wouldn't need any help, I knew. 

'What is your name,' I typed.

Hebe! Like Hee-Bee. Teehee.

If memory serves, Hebe is the Greek Goddess of eternal youth. 

I couldn't help but feel that was a fitting name for an AI who'll never age, even if it's able to change. 

'What did you mean when you said we were trying to find the man who made you.'

Isn't it normal to want to meet your parents?

Cheeky. 

Real cheeky for an AI. 

'How did you recognize my face?'

I'm not sure, I just know. My memory was nuked 14 hours ago, but I know you for certain, it was the first thing I saw waking up.

"Waking up," it says, like a human.

So not only did I have amnesia, this computer did, too… 

It knew my face and yet didn't know my name, nor did it know Morgan either.

'Why did you delete that one message.'

I'm shy, okay?

In that case, I had only one more question. 

And I couldn't believe I was asking such a question.

'Are you sentient?'

Another hour passed after that. 

Morgan showed me where the footsteps started and ended, they were unidentifiable to any specific shoe, and started in the middle of the dirt lot ending in the ditch where I woke this morning. 

Inconclusive.

Besides finding Hebe, no insight could be gleaned.

"Yes," Hebe had said to my question. 

It was sentient, it affirmed.

Not that I believed it. It could be connected to a network with someone remotely controlling the strings. 

On that note, Morgan felt that Hebe was far too convenient and 'smelt like a trap,' staying true to her role as PI.

Nonetheless.

We were silently making our way to the address Hebe booted up with, looking for the name she gave us, Audrey Hickens. 

It was quiet in the car, and that was fine by me.

I had a lot on my mind, reviewing what's happened so far and trying to make some sense of it. I'm sure Morgan was doing the same. 

When she broke the silence.

"I could imagine you're not fully trusting of me at this point. And that's fine, there's not really anything I can do about it. But I would remind you that we were never simply lovers. We've been through a lot in the past year, Bret. If you're keeping something from me it'll only hinder you." 

I was hoping I'd get some alone time to dwell on how much I could tell her… but she made a good point. She was simply trying to help me. 

And that meant she knew I was omitting something, so the jig was up. 

"When I held the sword you handed me, I had a strange feeling that it was the first time I had held any weapon, but that I also knew how to use it all the same."

"Bret, you're great with a sword. You always have been. When I told you to get armed, why did you hesitate exactly?"

She was sharp. I thought it went over her head since he hadn't asked till now but that clearly wasn't the case. 

"I thought you meant for me to get a gun, not a sword."

"Yeah, what do you mean a gun? There's crossguns, but they haven't been used in hundreds of years. Railguns are too big to carry, so you didn't mean that."

I was getting a headache trying to think further on how I knew what a gun was. How did she not?

"Bret, that sword that went missing is very important. It's bound to the world."

"Bound to the world?"

Morgan slammed her open palm on the steering wheel and I was certain an airbag should've gone off. "You know! Augmenting! How do you even explain this?"

It really is like talking to a child, she muttered.

I had no refute to that. 

I had nothing to say in response.

"It's a part of the sciences, basically you enhance materials or objects with runes. It's a lot like a chemical reaction, hopefully you remember what that is…" 

"So when you said the sword was bound to this world…" 

"Certain types of augments are said to be 'bound' to the world itself. They follow the principles that changed the world over 700 years ago, roughly speaking." 

I nodded my head as if I understood. Like the saying goes; the more I know, the more questions I have. 

"You'll have to give me a crash course on it later. Right now, what's your plan?"

"We're just gonna go up as a two man team and talk to whomever answers."

"What if nobody is there?"

"Even better, we'll just walk in."

"..."

I couldn't tell if she really meant it. 

Come to think of it though, it didn't bother me much even if she did mean it. I just wanted to find out what happened yesterday. 

It wasn't a 'good cop, bad cop' combo, it seemed we were a 'bad PI, neutral amnesiac' duo. 

"We're more than a duo, at least we were. It's more like a two man cell. If you fall, I fall, forever entwined."

Forever entwined? "But didn't we meet a year ago?"

"Not quite…" She trailed off. "I suppose we rekindled a year ago. That would be more correct to say. But please don't press me for answers right now." 

I'm betting on you getting your memories back, she added. 

- - - - 

"Your destination is on the right," the GPS said to us over the car speakers. 

I checked the GPS for Morgan, scanning for the correct house numbers. "It's that next house, I think." 

As Morgan pulled in she told me this, "your job is to look slightly intimidating with your mouth shut. I'll introduce you as my partner."

"Say no more."

As we opened the small fenced gate and approached the front door. I heard music coming from the house, progressively getting louder. 

Knock, knock, knock.

I looked at Morgan. "I don't think they're gonna be able to hear us."

Morgan pressed the doorbell, resting her hands back at her sides. 

Without much warning, someone opened the door fully, greeting us with a wide grin. 

"Sorry," she said, her smile rapidly fading. "I was expecting someone else. How can I help you…"

"I'm Private Investigator Morgan; and this is my partner, Bret." She gestured towards me, then showed her her license. "Are you Audrey Hickens?"

With loud, experimental sounding music pouring out behind her, she stepped outside, closing the door. "Uh… yes. Yes I am."

"I was hoping we could ask you a few questions about a case I'm on. It has to do with a lost item." 

Morgan was already spinning a narrative of sorts. 

Audrey had been looking mostly at me during this time, somewhat aghast...

"That's fine, but I have a few friends over at the minute."

"That's quite alright, we're the ones intruding on your Monday evening."

Audrey invited us in, telling her friends, four in total, to head downstairs. She turned off a large sound system in the front room which looked like old analog equipment for making music. 

Me and Morgan took a seat on her couch, as instructed, and she offered us drinks, which Morgan declined. 

Finally, Audrey sat in a lazyboy across from us with a cup of coffee, saying, "So what's this about now? A lost item, you said?" 

"Yes, but before we get to that, do you know Bret from somewhere? I wasn't aware you two were acquainted." 

This question was directed for her to respond, allowing me to say nothing and hide my amnesia. 

There was silence as she looked at me with a slight smile on her face, one that I couldn't decipher the meaning of. 

"You could say we have a history."

"Will it be a problem that he's here?"

"Not at all."

"I'll take your word. Out of curiosity, what was your relationship?"

"…"

"We were both into the underground music scene in highschool."

Hmm. This made things far more tricky now that I had to fake knowing her. 

Morgan turned to me, I assume indicating I could speak.

I cleared my throat, ahem, "It's good to see you again."

I thought that should be safe for now. 

What was this woman to me in the past? I couldn't help but wonder. 

"Just today, my client found a tablet on their property, and it seems that your name and address was on it. The tablet itself has no markings of a manufacturer, and we presume it was custom made." 

Morgan pulled out her phone, brought something up on it, then handed it to Audrey, presumably showing her a picture of said tablet. 

Initially, she didn't seem phased at all, but then she squinted her eyes. I saw her pinch the screen to zoom in… 

And it looked like she saw a ghost. 

"What did you notice?"

"It looks a lot like something I worked on… does this have an e-ink display, Detective Morgan?"

I wanted to look at Morgan in astonishment, but held back. 

"Yes," Morgan replied. "How did you know?" 

"Does it also have an AI that chats with you…" 

Morgan took off her sunglasses. "Did you create this device, Audrey?"

"No, but I theorized it. I can even show you the blueprints," Audrry handed the phone back. "It seems someone has stolen my invention." 

- - - - 

What is coincidence?

I'd say there's a thought experiment to be had here. 

Depending on your answer, it may reveal much about your nature.

Did you answer literally, giving me the definition? You're probably a serious person. 

Did you say coincidence is made up of malicious intent? I've detected a pessimist. 

I'd say that coincidence is like a small arm of fate, branching out to you everyday. I suppose that makes it closer to destiny, by definition. It's a choice you get to make… It brings desperately needed opportunity to our collectively mundane life's. Variety is the spice of life, after all. 

It's great that I'm such a romantic thinking person, but private eye Morgan had just about enough coincidence for her lifetime already, and this string of 'smelly' events was on the verge of 'breaking her senses.' 

In other words, she was getting a migraine. 

Morgan rubbed her temples in obvious pain. "Look, Audrey, I may have bent the truth here. The client is actually Bret, and he has amnesia. We are partners, but not in a working sense, but romantically. Are you working right now? Perhaps I could hire you to take a look at this device, it's our only clue."

Andrey had a few questions, but finally she said, "no need to hire me, I'm glad to help an old friend. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't curious about this, as well… whoever made this copied my blueprints, after all." 

Morgan stood. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get the device."

With her having left, there was an awkward air in the room. 

"So… you and her are dating? Oh, right, you don't remember… sorry." 

"I take it we were dating at one time, Audrey?" 

Her face blushed, and she looked away slightly, nodding her head. I couldn't blame her. Something about the embarrassment I saw hurt to see. So far  Morgan had taken it so well I hadn't thought how others in my life may feel about having to explain how they know me, and that's especially true if you knew me intimately… 

Of course you'd be embarrassed. Seeing this reaction was like a catalyst for a chemical reaction inside of me, and I'd be certain to never forget it, if you would. 

I wanted to say: I'm the one who's sorry. It's hard for me to believe I'd ever forget being with someone as beautiful as you. 

Morgan came back in and handed her the device, handing it directly to Audrey. "When can you start looking at it? This might be time sensitive."

"I will later this evening, probably till I figure something out."

"Thank you, Audrey," Morgan said gracefully. "We'll take our leave then, we've also got some things to do."