One of these days, Vikta was going to eat his agent Flostex alive. Luckily and purely by chance, the biochemistry of Vistasu and Blortex was similar enough for them to eat each other.

Vikta was on his way to Liktiki, the Blortex home world. Flostex, a Blortex himself, had arranged this opportunity. A once in a lifetime opportunity to be able to speak in front of his royal highness, the Blortex Empress.

"They are going to love you. The most famous Vistasu stand-up comedian ever in the whole Imperial Galactic Cluster. Even the Kkßix are not as good as you. And they always have a joke about them actually hovering around instead of doing stand-up."

Flostex had shaken his fury head all the way down to the long tail. The Kkßix water creatures cannot walk on land, so they hover. They themselves say it is the next step of evolution. Smart asses.

What Flostex had not said: he bought the cheapest possible tickets. Now, Vikta had not been able to move the last two days and the Blortex responsible for his excrements, Piptex, was getting annoyed with the sheer amount of shit coming out of Vikta. He apologized a lot, but could do nothing about it. Piptex had once suggested opening the airlock and just let the shit fly out. Vikta was sure, this was suggested in a joking manner, but was not completely sure.

Piptex annoyance is of course not surprising, if you know that the Blortex are about twenty times smaller than the Vikta. And their spaceship was showing it. Vikta was crammed in the cargo hold, his head on the upper gangway and his scaled body curling around him. The upper gangway could not be used to traverse the cargo hold, Vikta blocked it all. Which did not stop some younger ones to use or better abuse him as a playground.

Eating Flostex alive was maybe a bit too nice. How about frying him in boiling oil and then eating him with a bit of Warani spice, pondered Vikta. Definitely made for a better snack.

Among the screaming kids and citizens trying to work, an especially annoying voice to Viktas left started to scream around.

"Now where is that Simplicity?!" A short moment passed.

"Ah, there you are. Complexity! HEY COMPLEXITY." The voice came a lot closer. Vikta could only peripherally see two Blortex standing on the gangway a body length away from him.

Vikta replied cautiously, fearing the topic of the discussion already. "Yes, Complexity?"

"So you are the one kicking my kids around in this cargo hold. Are you aware that Ffiftex has some very serious injuries? What have you to say in your defence?" The Blortex was somewhere between screaming and angrily talking to him.

Oh, that topic. Vikta had nearly forgotten it. A strike or two ago a few Blortex offsprings had - again - used his back and tail as some kind of slide. Their fur had tickled him, causing Vikta to sneeze heavily and throw them off his back. Lucky enough, the sneezing had caused them to run off as well, leaving Vikta alone in his misery of not being able to move without being abused for a toy any more. Apparently, this Blortex thought differently.

"I am sorry, Complexity. These kids tickled me. I had to sneeze and kicked out at that moment. I did not see your kids."

"Oh so now we are invisible to you, Complexity." Seemingly turning to the Blortex next to it, it continued. "Typical Vistasu. They think they are the only important ones in the Empire. Next thing, you bring up the Battle of *Blibtex*."

Vikta wondered if he ever mentioned the Battle of Blibtex in his life before. Probably because to the Vistasu, the outcome of the battle had been more of an annoyance than a victory. A long time ago, Vistasu and Blortex fought each other for dominance in their sector of the galaxy. Well, let us just say that the Vistasu had both managed to find a very hard metal alloy, which in combination with the size differences of the tiny Blortex spaceships and the huge Vistasu armada had led to one single Vistasu destroyer ramming through the entire fleet of the Blortex with ease and little damage. Within a few sprints after their first violent contact, the Blortex were blown back from intergalactic to interplanetary travel. The Blortex diplomat to the Galactic Cluster at the time had frantically called the Emperox, offering to sign any treaty they had to join the Empire. Even before that Vistasu destroyer reached the Blortex home world, the Empire was one species larger and the Vistasu threatened to be demolished by the entire Imperial Galactic Cluster. Very annoying. And too many Autocracies, Democracies and many other cies involved. The Vistasu Senate had called off the invasion, and it was the last time the Vistasu had anything like a decent win.

Vikta also wondered why the Battle of Blibtex was called this way, because he had no idea whatsoever of what or who or when a Blib was. He knew that "tex" was a Blortex word to finish a noun, but what the noun itself meant here, he simply had no clue. 

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Of course, all this information did not really help him in his near-prison experience.

"I never mentioned the Battle of Blibtex in my entire existence."

"You just did. Like back then, you think you can waltz over us and our offspring."

"I was NOT kicking your kid, their tails tickled me and I could not control it, Complexity." Vikta was slightly raising his voice in exasperation.

"Oh stop screaming at me. Go on, and I call the captain to vent you out into space."

Vikta was at an end. In his frustration he hit his head against the wall, basically the only small motion he was able to do in the cargo hold. It was barely a tenth of a body length.

"Oh so you lied to us. You can move your head. That means you would have been able to see our small Ffiftex. This is getting worse and worse, I am calling an officer."

In the Verse, Vikta felt the tugging of the small Blortex on the crew channels of the ship. An officer called in - of course, he was a Blortex as well. This was a 99% Blortex ship - the other 1% being a few Bots, Vikta and whatever hijacked its way on the ships outside.

"What is the matter, Complexities?"

"This simplicity in the cargo hold has been kicking my son around and cited the Battle of Blibtex to subvert me."

"Complexity Viktatex, refrain from injuring other crew members. And be reminded, that in the Empire of Blortex, this Battle is a prohibited topic. You have been warned."

If Vikta could have, he would have cried in pain, turned his three eyes to the heavens and asked for help from his ancestors, as was custom in his family. Since he was sure that crying in such an enclosed space would be understood as a threat, he needed all his inner control. Or, what was left of it after being used for cycles as a slide for small, furry and tickling creatures.

"With all due respect, officer. I cannot move in this cargo hold. I was unable to see the young complexity. Since their tails tickled me, I had to laugh and move the little I can. The young complexity was merely and unfortunately in the way."

"In the way," cried out Ffiftex's father or mother. Father or mother, because Vikta was unable to determine the gender of Blortex. The Verse was only supplying its role in the Heart Family: Vettro, the one responsible for knowledge work. Well, that tells you nothing.

"In the way? My Ffiftex was allowed to be there and rightfully play in the cargo hold according to §9131b2 of the Imperial Galactic Cluster Law."

Oh, Aleph's Ass. This Vettro was a lawyer or a very concerned parent. Probably and very annoyingly so, both.

Vikta decided, he would not eat his agent or fry him. He would crucify him in one of those deserts of the Blortex home world, place a nice pool and a bar in front of the cross and just enjoy the screams of Flostex while relaxing in the cooling pool together with a Szisz 400. Though very expensive, he loved the texture of the Rrosz egg in the drink. Of course, he would toast to his agent.

Vikta returned from his both increasingly violent and futile fantasies to the situation at hand, or head, in his case. Vikta had a stand-up bit about one such parent who stalked its kid through the Verse and caused a major police incident. The Verse was only so accurate in position and the father thought, his kid was in an arms dealer shop, while in reality, it was in a comic store with its friends. Both shops were above each other and, for whatever reason, run by the same Zarbizx. Normally, Zarbizx are pacifist, but this one was a Free One and gave a cats-damn about connections to other beings. Unless the connection was created by supersonic pieces of imploding ammunition. Or the latest edition of Bulbric the glorious Marduk fighting against the bad Wari, now in its eighty-fifth season and showing no signs of running both out of topics and Wari to kill. 

The officer went on. "Complexity Vikta, you are to stay within your quarters until our arrival at the homeworld. Complexity Ffistex, you are to instruct your offspring to respect Complexity Viktas bodily limits."

Finally, somebody talking sense, thought Vikta. Though Vikta was unsure, what the officer meant by "quarters". He was already in his "quarters", though it felt more like a public plaza than anything like a private area. And of course, Vikta would "stay" in his quarters. Less out of compliance with the law but rather because he was unable to do anything else. Of course, there was always the airlock out into space, but things had not become so bad, that Vikta seriously considered this.

"Furthermore," the officer pulled Vikta out of his thoughts. "Furthermore, the Complexity Piptex is pulled from service to you. You are to take care of everything yourself. Glory to the Empire." The officer was gone. Vikta was speechless. The journey would go on for a few more days, and he was supposed to take care of his own shit? How? How?! He could not even move, let alone use a toilet or waste dispenser or anything remotely useful. How did the officer image Vikta to pull this off? The answer slowly dawned on Vikta. The officer had only been present through the Verse and probably did not connect to any of the drone cameras. So the officer was simply oblivious to Viktas size and issues.

A big, long sigh went through Vikta, only lessened by his imagination going wild what he would do to Flostex. It now involved both cleaning up Viktas shit out of the spaceship, and a rather brutal and long way of dying at Viktas hands. A short smile appeared on Vikta and he chuckled quietly.

A rather annoying voice screamed: "Oh so you find that funny!"

Not again, thought Vikta.