Betty’s Favor (1): Stealing Back A Heart

--- Mercer ---

Sneaking into the police station was always far easier than it had any right to be.

Of course this was only because after several dozen super powered attacks over the last twenty years all of the city’s stations had been torn down and rebuilt a dozen times over. And it just so happened that the biggest building developers in the city had… an understanding with the city’s Vigils. An understanding that he was fully aware of and had no problems taking advantage of.

Currently, this included the part of the understanding where the construction crews would both reinforce and enlarge the ventilation systems of any building, while also giving a route through the building that started from the roof and did not involve passing through a single fan.

It also included helpfully removable vent guards that didn’t require unscrewing. Guards that were of course for easier cleaning of the vents, and absolutely not so that certain vigilantes can use them to open, enter and or exit the vents, before closing them in five seconds flat.

His feet silently hit the tiled floor of the station security room, the sound covered by one of the two guards watching the monitors exiting to grab coffee for both of them.

Careful not to be seen by the guard watching a football game on his phone, since who was crazy enough to break the police- (Actually, in this city with this number of crazies that isn’t a short list. This guy really is slacking hard in a job that should be taken seriously… Welp, works for me.) He made his way to the missing guard’s seat before opening the computer’s command prompt and entering what seemed like a string of random letters in a specific keyboard pattern.

Hitting the enter key he closed the prompt and immediately made his way back to the vents as the backdoor program the Vigils had installed in all of the city’s police stations kicked in. One in a series of programs that he had stolen and then paid someone to regularly add to the Way’s station so that they couldn’t just lock him out.

This particular program would cause all of the station’s cameras to loop the last hour or so of their footage for the next hour, giving him that long to make as much mischief as he wanted without there being any evidence that it was him specifically to break into the station.

(Now I could just grab the heart and go.) He admitted that much to himself. (But! I could also use this opportunity to scare the station into remembering who they need to be afraid of.)

(That is an even more important point.) He was forced to concede to himself, as he took a slight detour to the break room just in time to watch the security guard from earlier walk out of the room.

After climbing out of the vents he reached a little further in and grabbed the box of donuts he’d swiped on his way to the station, and then left here while he dealt with the cameras. A box of donuts that had his double tapped skull insignia lining the bottom of the box filled with laxative tainted pastries that the officers were free to take at their own risk. (After all, being a corrupt cop is a very risky business.)

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Crawling back into the vents he proceeded to move throughout the station to continue his good work throughout the station, stopping only to place his paper emblem inside random unguarded desks where he would steal all of their pens and unplug all of their computer cords.

But regardless of these (very important) delays, he still eventually made his way to his grand target of the evening: The police captain’s private bathroom.

Walking inside he removed the toilet paper before soaking it in the sink just enough to make it unusable once dried, while still being able to pass a cursory glance once returned to its holster.

He then threw a few of the bits and bobbles he’d swiped before flushing them down, using his extremely experienced understanding of physics and sabotage to measure once the toilet had been properly clogged without being visibly so before use.

To wrap things up he then swiped all of the spare toilet paper from under the sink, leaving his emblem in their place, before breaking the lock on his way out so that it couldn’t be unlocked once engaged.

And because he wasn’t a complete asshole he left a spare roll of toilet paper where it could easily be seen upon opening the bathroom door. A spot where it was helpfully guarded from would be poachers by a totally deserved trophy for honorable service hiding it from every other angle of view in the office.

Checking the time, he saw he still had another twenty minutes to grab the heart and asked himself if he was feeling nice. (Yes, I am.)

He was feeling so nice that he went back to the break room and grabbed a donut before placing it on the desk just for the captain to enjoy when he came in in the morning.

---

“Thanks Mercer, you really are a hero.” One of Betty’s nurses told him as he handed over the heart secured in a cylindrical storage container, keeping it safe for transport and use by the doctors.

“I know.” He nodded humbly. “I’m happy to help in any way I can.”

“I’m glad.” Betty told him as she lit up a cigarette while the nurse took the heart inside. “Especially since that means you’ll also be finding me those meds soon?”

“Working on it.” He assured her. “Just figured the heart took priority.”

“It does,” Betty agreed, “but it’s also been a minute since you’ve gone on a patrol word on that kind of thing spreads fast you know. The troublemakers of the way know to take advantage if one of your ‘trips’ out of the way drag on.”

(Which is why I usually get it handled before I leave.) “I was hoping dropping that guy out of the Den would’ve scared some of them off a while longer.” He admitted. “Especially given how long it’s been since I last did an execution in front of anyone.”

“Yeah, well dropping someone off a rooftop wasn’t exactly memorable by your standards.” Betty reminded him. “What’s more it’s been almost a week since then, that’s long enough with you going to ground that people are wondering if you’re sleeping off an injury or something.”

“Because me dealing with that asshole in the Diamond District didn’t catch anyone's attention in the Way.” He groaned, running a hand down his face. “How bad is it?”

“No worse than usual for the Way, but much longer and scum you keep cowering in the dark might try something.” Betty warned him.

“I’ll take care of it.” He promised as she took a drag of her cigarette.

“You better, there’s no point in getting you back on the streets so fast if you’re going to slack off and let them think you injured.”