I felt someone shaking my face as I slowly woke up. Everything was blurry as I opened my eyes, I tried looking around but they wouldn't focus on anything. Somebody was trying to talk to me, but their voice sounded muffled. I closed my eyes again as my ears began to level out and stop ringing. I started hearing someone say 'wake up', over and over as they shook me, they sounded distressed. I opened my eyes again and I still couldn't see anything, it seemed like someone was shining a bright light directly in my eyes. I felt dizzy as I tried to get up, I held my head as I felt the room spin and my nausea increase.
"Ezekeliah..." I said, in a concerning, quiet voice.
"Ashley, wake up. The King needs to do his speech." Ezekeliah responded.
"Ezekeliah, I-I can't see."
"You can't see? What do you mean you can't see?"
"There's a bright light covering my eyesight. Ezekeliah... I'm scared."
"Don't worry my child. Let's just go, we can figure this out later." He says as he picks me up from the floor and guides me as we walk. The room is still spinning but slowly subsides.
"Finally, you got her up. What took so long?" The King asks.
"She was in a very deep sleep. I'm sorry Sire." Ezekeliah responds.
"Doesn't she realize I'm only making this speech for her safety?" He sighs as if this is some huge trouble for him. "Come on, the people are waiting." He snaps, grabbing my arm tightly and pulling me out onto the balcony with him.
I began to panic, I still can't see anything, but I know there are a thousand eyes on me, watching my every move, watching me sweat. I feel my body weakening, my legs shake and I want to pass out, my heart beats quickly again. I hold my breath and my hearing vanishes once more. I reach out and my hands touch the balcony bars. I grip tightly at them and then hear a voice come out of nowhere.
"It's okay." The mysterious voice says. "Breathe." And I automatically feel my lungs start to breathe again and my hearing return along with my strength, but my eyesight stays the same.
"Ashley!" I hear the King yell.
Startled I say, "Yes?" With a jump." Sorry, I'm a little nervous. The last time I was in front of a crowd, it didn't go so well." I slightly laugh. I feel the familiar hand of Ezekeliah touch my shoulder and the King continues on with his speech.
"Now then, as I was saying, Alice was in our care. We didn't know if she was sick yet, and therefore I do not condone the killing of her. Whoever that was will be brought in and receive the penalty of death. An eye for an eye after all. If you know of anyone who may have done this, I ask that you tell us as soon as possible. Lastly, Ashley was also in our care, and she watched the incident happen from her cell. I would like to point out that Ezekeliah has discovered that she is not sick. She shows signs of being overly emotional, and that's why she had the outburst that she had. Therefore, if I find out that anything has happened to her, whether it be a comment, or something more physical, I promise that whoever caused her pain will be met with the worst death that I can think imaginable. That is all for now." He says before I can hear him walking away. I stay frozen in place.
Ezekeliah grabs me and guides me back to his lab. He sits me down in a chair and then walks back and forth in the room. I have no clue what he is doing, but every time he gets near me, he stops for a moment and then goes back to walking. He starts making noises and then taps on my nose. It scares me and I throw my head back, he tells me its alright and then I hear nothing for a while. I start getting very suspicious and turn my head all around as if it would help me locate him. But it didn't. I get scared and put my hands in my pocket, I feel something, it feels soft but warm. I take it out of my pocket and start playing with it when I hear Ezekeliah come out of nowhere.
"What is that?" He says as I can hear his feet coming towards me.
"I- um, I'm not sure." I say, trying to remember how it got in my pocket.
"Can I take a look?" He says, touching my hand.
"Sure, where did you go just a second ago?" I said, putting the item in his hand.
"I was... Observing you."
"Observing me? Why?"
"Ow, ow, ow." He puts the item back in my hand.
"Whatever that thing is, it sure doesn't want anyone else handling it but you. I was observing you because it really does seem you have gone blind. But why? How? I'm wondering if you've been poisoned. However, it doesn't seem like we will find out today. Your parents are coming to get you."
"What do I do until then?"
"Let's have breakfast. You haven't eaten in a while."
He guides me to the table and sets it up as I drink a cup of water. I touch the wood, I really hoped this wasn't my new life. But at least it would give me something else to think about other than my sins. I wouldn't be able to see women so I wouldn't be able to think about them, and nobody would date a blind girl.
Not being able to see made me realize how much detail was in everything, how many groves were in the wood table. It was kind of beautiful if you think about it. Ezekeliah puts another cup of water in my hands, I gulp it down as if I never tasted water before. Somehow, water even tastes more beautiful than I remember it. He fills the cup up with water again and puts food in front of me. He made some eggs and sausages. Living the peasant life, this would be my first time actually eating sausages, a delicacy only for the rich to enjoy.
I touch the meat with my hands and rub it, I can feel the light charcoal on it and I can feel the oil soak my fingers as I pick it up. I try a small piece of it and I instantly fall in love with the taste. Usually, mother only makes chicken and stake if she is feeling like making something fancy for us or if more eggs than expected were hatched that season. I scarf down the sausages and eggs, I'm addicted to the taste, it was way better than any chicken I've ever tasted before.
"Mmmm, these are so good Ezekeliah. I want more!" I say, excitedly. He laughs gently and says he will get more. He gets up for a second and hands me another plate of food. "Thank you." I say and start eating this plate of food as well.
"You're welcome, my child. I hope you enjoy it." He says, dumping the empty plate into a bucket of water.
Shortly after eating my second plate of food, we hear a knock at the door. Ezekeliah slowly gets up from the table and walks over to the door when they knock again. He tells them to hold on a moment before opening the door. The voices of these people instantly make me light up, it was my family. They thank Ezekeliah for taking care of me in my time of 'disobedience' as they call it and my mom hugs me. I hug her back tightly.
My father is trying to rush us out of here, but Ezekeliah has to stop him. My dad gets angry, I'm sure he's already mad about me, but my dad snaps at him. He started yelling that he doesn't have the patience to sit around when he had a farm he needed to attend to. The King was expecting the harvest soon, and dad always got anxious around this time, as his crops were more vulnerable to the wildlife.
Ezekeliah laughs and tells my dad I'm blind. Of course, he thinks me being blind is my fault too and he yells at me for being recklass. Ezekeliah reassures him that it wasn't my fault, but it didn't matter, my dad still went off on me. He told my parents he wanted to see me tomorrow for a follow up. But my dad said he wasn't coming back and neither were I until the crops were ready. He grabs me and begins pulling me out of the room. Ezekeliah realizes there's no point in arguing and tells me to be safe as we leave the castle.
My mom picks me up and puts me on the horse, but my dad pulls me back off and tells me that I deserve to walk. Instead, he ties a rope around my wrists and tells the horse to go. The rope pulls harshly on my wrists, making me almost fall. I start walking and figure out the speed of the horse. I can hear people talking about us. They not only say I'm a disgrace to the family, but that they weren't going to buy any of my fathers crops this year, and that it would be poisonous if the King took his crops. This made my father angry, and of course the speed of the horse increases. My quick walk turned into a slow run, and being unable to see anything, I ended up tripping a lot. But he didn't care. He just wanted to be away from here and stop the embarassment I was causing.
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We get outside the gates and he begins to slow down. My brother, the blacksmith is just now going to work and he passes us by. He sees the way my father has me tied and he starts yelling at my dad in front of the guards. My dad slaps him and he falls to the ground, I didn't want to go home now. My mom tells my brother to mind his own business and go to work, and my father takes off again. This time, the horse is almost going at a run, and I can't seem to get my balance. I fall over and start getting dragged by the horse. But luckily, at a run, we would be home soon, if I didn't die first. My back burned from the dirt scrapping across it. I cried from the pain, but it didn't seem to matter.
The horses stop and my dad gets off. "I want her to stay outside tonight. She doesn't deserve to come inside. Embarassing me like that, in front of our entire people. It's sickening. Those filth don't belong in our village, and for you to protect them? I should beat that out of you." I could hear my mom stepping in front of me.
"She learnt her lesson." She says, and my dad storms off. "You know better." My mom says to me.
"I wasn't trying to get noticed, I was just crying." I said to her, feeling her untie my hands and hold me.
"It was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I know. But that could've turned out very bad. You could've died there with Alice. And I don't know what I'd do if you did. Dad's going to be angry for a long time, I don't like what the people were saying. If our crops don't get bought, the King won't support us, and we will have to leave. Hopefully everything will be forgotten soon though. Just go to the shed and rest up, I'll bring you back some lunch and clean you up."
"I ate sausage for breakfast this morning." I said, smiling.
"Really? Did it taste good?"
"It was the most delicious thing my lips have ever got the pleasure of tasting."
"Maybe one day I will have enough money to get it for us so we can try it too. Now, go to the barn. You need to lay down, you've had a hard few days my love."
I don't say anything, I look around for the shed, but my eyes are still blurry. My mom picks me up and guides me there, putting me down on some hay when we got inside. I listen to her leave and I lay there, my body aches and I curl up in a ball. I can feel that thing, whatever it is, in my pocket. I take it out and smell it, it smells sweet. It has curves in it as well. I press down softly on it and I can feel something hard inside. I lay it down on the hay and I sligh, I think about what it may be, but no reasonable thing comes to my mind. I feel my clothes and my back getting wet, I think it might be blood. I cry as I touch it, I then smell my hand and can smell it, my back is bleeding. I continue to cry, I remembered that Ezekeliah told me to do jumping jacks when I got upset, but I couldn't. My body was like a thousand pounds, weighing me down. So I just laid there, waiting for somebody, something to happen as my mind raced to boredom.
"Squeeze... The... Heart." I heard a voice say.
I look all around for the voice, I begin to breathe hard. "Who's there, what's going on? What heart?" I yell, I wondered if this were my imagination playing tricks on me.
"Squeeze... The... Heart." The voice says in a more demanding tone, as it seemingly echoes.
"Where are you?" I ask.
"Squeeze the heart!" The voice yells, knocking me backwards, sending pains through my head.
I hold my head between my legs as the voice continues, I started screaming due to the pain coursing through my brain. I feel someone grab me, I scream again and push whoever it was away from me, but they grab me again and hold me tight against them. I know this scent, it's my mother. Her shushing voice slowly overpowered the one in my head and I fell into her arms, weakily crying. She kept asking me what happened, but I couldn't answer, because I myself didn't know either. I was already deemed crazy, I couldn't risk adding onto it.
My dad shortly came in afterward and started yelling, saying I needed to stop causing a ruckus and that my mom needed to get back in the house and take care of Lilly. My mom tried fighting back, saying she needed to take care of me too. But my dad didn't care. He told my mom to leave, and when she wouldn't, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her out of the barn. He then slowly walked back over to me, his feet pounded loudly on the ground with every step. My fear was rising with every inch that he got closer to me and I slowly started crawling backwards on my hands and knees until my back hit the wall.
"You want to go around screaming at everybody and embarass us? You want to throw tantrums in this barn, in the village? Stop being a child!" He grabs me, "You are pathetic! I'm embarassed to call you my daughter!" He screams before slapping me. My body flies out of his hand and I slam into the floor. "You can't even see! You mean nothing to me on this farm, I should do what everybody whispers and throw you out. You've ruined my reputation." He grabs me again and slaps me, he then spits on me. "I should of never wasted my money in giving you an education. You will never go back into the village." He kicks hay onto me before leaving.
I burry my head in the ground and force myself not to cry. I felt so much pain all over my body, and now in my heart as well. The only heart that was being squeezed was my own. I lay there as still as possible, and listen as the voice comes back again. 'Squeeze the heart.' It continues to say. I couldn't stand those words. I covered my ears as if it would make any difference, but it didn't. Images started flickering in the sky, but I couldn't make anything out. Flashes of blues, reds, and yellows showed up the most. The voices continued through the images.
"What do you want!" I said, loudly, forgetting that I should be quiet.
"Squeeze the heart." The voice echoed.
"Where is it?" I say, just wanting the voice to go away. But at last, the voice doesn't tell me where it is, it just continues to repeat the same words. "Do you mean my fathers heart?"
"Squeeze the tangible heart." This voice said. At least it added a new word, but I still didn't know what heart it was meaning.
I lay there trying to make light of this voice, finding any way I can to make it less annoying. But it doesn't work. For hours I listen to this voice repeat the same three words, even as I slowly fall asleep. The words showed up in floating bubbles in my dream. I just wanted this familiar voice to stop driving me to near insanity. But nothing I said had any impact, I needed to find this heart, wherever it is.
"Ashley!" I hear a voice say. It feels weird fearing someone else talk. "I brought you some dinner." My mom says.
I slowly sit up and put my hands out to grab the food. She sets the plate of food in my hands and I take it from her. The beautiful smell of the food floads the room and I eat it slowly. I hear my mom drop a bucket of water on the ground as she takes my clothes off. She dunks a rag into the warm water and lets it drip onto my back. The warm water feels nice on my cuts and bruises. The voice disappears, but my own mind repeats the words still. I wished something would distract me from these words, but not even the relaxation of the water eases the voices.
I finish eating the food and my mom helps me put on new clothes after she washes me down. She then kisses my forehead and gives me a blanket, telling me to get a good nights rest. I lay down on the wood and listen to her walk away when she sees something.
"What's this Ashley?" She says, picking up the object.
"What do you mean?" I say, curious to know what she means.
"There's this Clay heart looking thing on the ground. Is it yours?"
"Yes, I was wondering where that went." I said, wondering if that was the heart my voices were referring to.
She walks over to me and hands it to me. I hold it in my hand, rubbing it. It felt soft, and was still squishy. My mom kisses my forehead again and tells me goodnight. I tell her goodnight back and the voices continue in my head once again. I put the thing in my pocket and ignore the voices. They soon stop and I finally fall asleep, curled up in my own, warm blanket.