“The inner world is a fascinating thing. Everyone has it, but it’s the most elusive concept,”
Otto taps on the book I was reading.
“Do the method you just read in the book. First breathe, and hold that stillness within. Afterward, form a barrier and enter a trance. I will do the same and will greet you in the dream.”
I nod and proceed to perform the steps again. Breath for 4, hold for 7, and let out for 6-8. Numbers that seem so formulaic but never rigid. After 3 sets, I held a weight, a nauseous feeling that's hard to describe. My vision started drifting into the darkness behind my eyelids. Suddenly, light started popping in and out. Like wisps dancing in the corner of my eyes. Make a barrier… Make a barrier. The wisps started to swirl around my form. A thin layer of light surrounded my form. In the next moments, I felt a poking sensation outside of my form.
“Don’t worry, that’s me ” Otto mumbles in a rather soft voice. “Just try and imagine the recurring dream and I will enter afterwards.”
The soft tapping of the rain echoed through my head, and the void behind my eyelids started to stir. I felt an ever expansive darkness wrapping around my mind…
I stood in the room once more, and saw the world beyond the window covered in rain. It was pleasantly dark, like the sun had descended the horizon. It was almost by instinct, I reached for the cane leaning on the desk. Letting out a sigh of relief, I went through the door.
The weight of the cane felt comfortable in my hands as I delved into the dark hallway beyond the door, which was illuminated by obnoxiously large windows. The pale moonlight streaked the hall with shadows-like tendrils that danced lightly from the rain outside. Slight creaks ran chills down my spine as I carefully wandered this infinitely stretching, decrepit hallway. Suddenly, a bird pierced through the window.
CAW* squealed the bird laying on the shattered glass. I braced along the wall, away from the window, and raised the cane towards the bird. It laid there, unmoving and silent. Gently lowering the cane, I kept my focus towards the windows as I crept along the wall.
Progressing forward, my attention lingered on my breathing, as I cautiously dragged my feet along the floor. Leaning against the wall and glancing out the windows, the sky turned dark. As if a cloud was blocking the moonlight. The pitch dark hallway ran goosebumps along my skin as I stopped moving. The sea of darkness hid soft thuds on the roof above. I glanced around the hallway but to no avail. The awful cries of crows gradually grew louder as I stared out the windows. Holding my breath, I braced for whatever was approaching. The entire hallway became a chamber filled with the cacophony of crows. It was at a moment's notice when the window shattered. I took it as a sign and darted as fast as I could along the infinite darkness. The crows shot past me as their sharp beaks cut and stabbed into my flesh. My pain-filled wimpers were muffled by the sounds of feathers flapping, and the obnoxious cawing that echoed throughout the hallway. I felt my breath thinning as I curled against the wall, pleading for the storm to pass…
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The mass of crows vanished as quickly as they came, leaving behind eyes that peered from the darkness. My vision wobbled as I felt blood trickling down my pant leg. I propped myself up with the cane as the hallway gained back its moonlight. Staring off at the shattered windows, the world outside was open. Like a moth to a candle, I felt my very soul burning as I wobbled towards the windowsill. The shadows started to morph and words filled my mind.
“Go… Out… Leave this… rotten cage…”
I felt my mind stir as I leaned against the windowsill and looked down. An ever expansive void stretched beyond my sight. The shadowy tendrils drifted enticingly along the cool breeze that paled my face. I felt my eyes gazing at the moon that pierced the clouds of rain. A beautiful jewel that glimmered in purity. This unknown world inside my mind holds an ever-enticing beauty that I deeply desire. The pleading of the shadows dulled my thoughts as I dragged the tip of my finger on the shattered window. A droplet of blood gathered on my finger. Its pristine crimson color glinted from the peerless moonlight. Taking a deep breath, I pulled away from the temptation of the shadows. Leaning against the cane, I felt my legs wobbling. The eyes glared into my form as words started to scramble into form.
“Be… free… Go…”
The gripping desire tugged on my mind as I felt my mind stirring once more. The moon seemed to grow larger and held my eyes. Suddenly, a frigid hand rested on my backhand on top of the cane.
“You fool. Why are you outside your room?”
I felt chills run down my spine as I immediately recognized the old man's voice.
“This world does not need your presence, Nor your friend poking about.”
His sunken face soured while glaring at the shadows.
“Do not listen to those fiends. They will tempt you into the unknown.”
My gaze lingered on this old man and I furrowed my brows with frustration,
“So. What then? What is out there?”
The old man’s stern eyes peered towards me.
“It's not safe. Go. Back. Now”
A weight fell on my shoulders and my legs froze. I gazed at the world beyond the window. A flowing void, folding and warping in on itself. Uncertainty gripped on my legs as I took a step towards my room. My heart ached as I took another step away from the window.
“Do not regret this…”
I thought as I inhaled deeply. The weight of the world pressing against my head. I turned around and saw the beautiful moon and the shadows that swayed so gently. My legs started running towards the window. The cacophony of crows sang its mad song as I lifted into the air.
…
“fool…”
The old man spat towards the silhouette falling out of the window. His dull eyes glinted against the moonlight. The horrid shadows shivered as the old man gathered the darkness towards his palm.
“…Good work.”
He steps into the darkness with a smile plastered on his face. Leaving behind a lonely, dilapidated hallway, and a room door tarnished by time.