Jax sat on the edge of the bed staring at the floor, the towel laid in a disheveled heap beside him. His thoughts were chaotic as memories flooded his mind. His pain was evident through his furrowed brows, tightly clenched teeth and the scratches that he was unknowingly making across his skin. Water dripped from his hair, and his skin glistened, still damp from his shower. The creaking door startled him and he looked over his shoulder.
When Bren had left Jax he was still in the shower savoring the last bits of therapeutic warmth the shower had to offer. Bren had dressed quickly and left Jax alone so he could talk with Fuchsia. Now having just returned, he stopped in the doorway realizing that he had startled Jax and said, “It's just me.” Jax gave a somewhat spaced out smile as he slowly turned away. Bren walked closer and stood in front of Jax, his eyes followed the droplets of water that were trickling down his back and shoulders. He let his eyes follow the droplets of water down Jax’s arms and he spotted fresh scratches and angry red welts. He reached out and placed his hand on the curve of Jax’s jaw pulling his face gently up to look at him. Jax’s eyes looked glazed and tired.
One of the benefits of Bren’s eye was that it could collect data from whatever was in his vision if he wanted. He closed his other eye, because sometimes the difference between the two would give him a headache. Fuschia told him it was only temporary that his brain was still trying to adjust and learn to accept information bilaterally. Bren winced as he saw the thermal imagery produced a purple and blue glow on Jax’s skin. He had been gone for about 40 minutes and Jax had let himself get into this frigid state. He eyed the towel laying beside Jax and looked into the eyes that still stared at him solemnly as he wondered what was going on his head right now.
Bren let go of Jax and reached for the towel, the towel that felt mostly dry. He sighed as he ran the towel across Jax’s exposed shoulder and said ”You are going to get sick!”. Jax had let his eyes close and didn’t respond. Frustrated, Bren placed a finger underneath his chin and pulled his face up toward him again. He raised his voice and said, “Jax! Are you even listening to me?” Jax opened his eyes and stared blankly at Bren.
After they had been locked in a silent stare, Bren worriedly said Jax’s name again.
Jax’s eyes sparkled as they formed convex pools, he blinked several times trying to relieve his vision of the blur. He reached up and forcefully pulled Bren’s hand away.
Bren stepped back quickly, his breath stilled as he was afraid he had upset Jax by raising his voice.
Jax placed his hands over his face and leaned forward. His body trembled as he said, “I can’t take this anymore! I feel like I am going crazy!”
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Bren froze and looked down at Jax afraid to say anything.
Jax pulled his hands away and looked up. “My head is a mess and nothing makes sense.”
Bren stood silently listening to Jax. He didn’t want to see Jax like this! What could he say or do to help him? Most people would have lost their mind completely by this point. Every time he looked at Jax he was afraid he was going to give up or reach that point of no return. And yet he kept surprising him, somehow he kept finding the strength to keep going and survive.”
Bren stepped forward wanting to comfort Jax but stopped abruptly when those sparkling gray pools finally broke. Tears ran down Jax’s face as he said, “It hurts! It hurts so much, Bren! He hit his chest with one hand while he wiped tears away with the other”
Bren dropped to his knees in front of Jax, he reached out to hold his fist and pulled him toward him.Tears formed in his own eyes as he said, “I know, Jax. I know! I’m so sorry!” Jax’s head was just below his face and kissed it lightly. He could feel Jax’s body tense and tremble as he knew he was experiencing a flood of emotions. All he could do was hold on to him and let him know that he wasn’t alone.
They stayed in that position until Jax finally calmed down. Bren finally felt like he could speak and said, “I think we can trust General Morgan! I think his people are going to be able to help you!”
Jax pushed back and he squeezed Bren’s shirt tightly in his hands, his eyes were red and he had a look of panic on his face as he said, “Promise me you will stay with me!”
Bren didn’t answer him immediately, his own worries surfacing. How could he promise something he didn’t know he could keep. All he could do was try. He didn’t know what General Morgan would allow him to do.
Jax pulled on Bren’s shirt tighter as he said, “Please, Bren promise me!”.
Bren pulled Jax into his arms as he said, “I promise!”
Luckily Jax couldn’t see the worry showing on his face. He would do everything he could to keep his promise even if it meant pissing General Morgan off.
Jax began to shiver and Bren was reminded that he was still soaking wet after his shower. He pulled back and reached for the towel that he had dropped on the floor. He sighed and looked at Jax again, his lips had started to turn purple and his skin had begun to look translucent.
Just as he had wrapped Jax in the towel and started trying to summon some warmth with his hands the door opened. Fuschia stood at the door and calmly asked if everything was alright. Bren’s back was to Fuschia so he couldn’t see her but he could tell by the tone of her voice that she had been listening.
He lowered his head and sighed and said, “Can you bring Jax some hot tea to get warm.”
She stood there a moment assessing the situation and said, “Of course! I will be right back!”
Jax leaned forward and rested his head on Bren’s shoulder and said, “I’m sorry!”
Bren wrapped his hands around him and said, “What are you sorry for?”
Jax turned his head a little to the side, and quietly whispered, “For everything.”