“I’ll do it,” Lucas said, as much to keep himself busy as to help out.

Korah considered him as he began shifting loose earth back into the fire pit.

“It will not get better on its own,” She said finally, her first words since the fight with the bear.

When Lucas didn't respond she continued.

“I have seen you use many wonderful powers since I met you, but there is obviously a lot you do not know. I can see what is happening to you, this wound in your Aura is bleeding all over the campsite. Your Aura is very unusual, in that it is so new, it does not have the resilience of an Aura that has matured naturally. That is why you developed all those powers so quickly but it also makes you vulnerable. If you keep trying to avoid dealing with this, it will kill you.”

“You can see what happened?” Lucas said, horrified by the idea that Korah might know what he did.

“No, I can not see what happened, but I can see how you feel about it. It is obvious that you did something you are ashamed of. Whatever happened, it left a deep wound in your Aura. Many hours have passed and it has not yet started to heal. I can help you, but we must talk about what happened.”

Lucas could feel that he was on an unsustainable path. He didn't like the idea of talking about it, but Korah was right. There was a lot that he didn't know, and her help might be his only way out.

“Ok.”

“Good, now come sit with me over here.”

Korah led Lucas up a small rise near their camp that they had used to block the light of the campfire. At the top was a small rectangular piece of stone, bathed in pink and orange light from the rising sun. Korah sat on one side, sweeping loose hair behind one ear. She motioned Lucas to sit on the other, facing her.

“First, I will explain what I know about Aura lore. I am not wise, nor do I know much, but what I tell you now everyone in this world already knows. The Druids tell us that our Auras hold a record of everything we have done. Your actions define who you are, and so everything you do changes your Aura.” She paused for a breath then continued.

“Sometimes those changes are too sudden. Sometimes we act in a way that goes against our nature, or what we thought was our nature. Violent changes or terrible experiences wound your Aura. I have seen many wounds turn into scars, cold and stale, but your Aura is too fresh and vulnerable to endure the shock of it, you will never make it that far. You have no experiences in your Aura that might absorb the blow, like a sapling tree being stepped on before it can harden its trunk.”

Korah had already told Lucas his Aura was ‘fresh’, though he didn't know exactly what that meant. He supposed it was because the Aura was created when he entered this world. By the time they reached adulthood, any native would have had many years worth of experiences built into their Auras.

“You have done something that shocked you and have refused to accept it. As long as you avoid and reject what happened it cannot find its place within your Aura. It will continue attacking your emotional core until you accept the change that it brings, or are driven mad and become an Afflicted.”

“Afflicted? You said it would kill me,” Lucas replied.

“Yes. An Afflicted is someone who has been drowned in a pattern of overwhelming emotions, losing themselves and often becoming mindless killers. If that is your fate I will kill you. The Afflicted are dangerous. You would be especially dangerous, given what you are capable of. I hope you understand.”

Lucas nodded but didn't say anything, dreading what was coming. Korah continued;

“You need to tell me what happened, all of it, moment by moment. Do not make excuses, do not hide from it. We will look at it directly, accept that it is done, and try to understand what it means for you. Alright?”

Lucas began trying to explain what happened. At first he was halting and hesitant, still fearful as the emotional weight began to press in on him. Knowing that there was no true escape from it, he did not push it away or try to distract himself. Tears were soon running down his face. Words came more freely as the shame and frustration welled up.

Korah had sat silently, listening to all of Lucas’s story while picking leaves and twigs off the rock on which they were sitting. When the story was over she stayed silent for another moment, considering what she had heard. Eventually she spoke, having seemingly come to a conclusion.

“That girl, she was Clan. Her tribe might still have killed you, even if you did try to reunite them. Maybe if you had enough strength to give their warriors pause, you could make your good intentions clear.” Korah went silent for another moment before continuing.

“My Sisters in the Water teach us that it is impossible to be good without first being strong. Some of them are very wise and skilled with words, I am not, but I will try my best since I am all you have.” Korah adjusted her position on the rock, then looked off into the forest as if thinking about what to say next.

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“If you had been stronger during that fight with the bear… If you had other powers to fight with, or if you had already made enough spiders by that point, you would not have killed her. It would have been within your power to both defeat the bear and also save that Clan girl. The weak are forced to make immoral choices, because they are not strong enough to pay the price of honourable action.”

Lucas was shocked. That was not at all what he had expected to hear.

“But I did have a choice, I could have just not done it.”

“And the bear would have killed me, then both of you. The price is paid either way.” Korah replied.

“Well yes, probably, but I still wouldn't have done anything evil.”

“Getting all three of us killed is less evil? And what use is your goodness when you are dead? Tell me, if an ant under your foot was the most kind and good creature on earth, would it matter? As I showed you, the strong can afford to be virtuous. But it is also true that virtue only matters in the hands of the strong. They have the power to turn their virtue into good outcomes for everyone. You see? No matter what, you must first be strong.”

He was sure there was something wrong about what she was saying, but he could not think of a way to refute the point.

“How does any of that help me,” he said at last.

“Your path to power is full of death. That could be said of any warrior, but your path even more so. If you are to be powerful, you cannot avoid death. Are you only going to kill those you consider evil? Are you so sure you would know the difference between someone who is evil and someone who only did what they must because they are weak, like yourself? Is there even a difference at all?”

Lucas needed sleep. He was tired and emotionally drained, but tried his best to consider what she was saying. Her logic was sound and it made a lot of sense, but it just felt… wrong. He did need power, and was willing to pay the price, but to have others pay the price for him?

When Lucas didn't reply, Korah continued; “There is another way. Choose the path of strength and make her death part of something greater. Accept what must be done to become powerful and make your power a force for good, one that is worth the cost. You have the ability, and responsibility, to change this world for the better.

Your powers demand much death and sacrifice. That only means that you must ascend to even greater heights of power, power enough to make it all worthwhile. Accept this, believe this fully and your Aura can heal and slowly become clean. But I warn you, walking this path, your shoulders will bear a debt of responsibility that will grow heavier with every death.”

“And this is how you see things? That's how you live?” Lucas asked.

“Yes. I do not burden myself with unnecessary evil that I have the strength to avoid, but when my duty is clear I will not back down just because there is blood on the path.”

This kind of ‘ends justifies the means’ mentality would not normally appeal to Lucas, but the promise that he had made in the cave resonated with her words. It seemed like the morality of a wild predator. A predator would never stoop so low as to accept being weak, but instead found ways to make predation virtuous, and justify the bloody path they left behind them.

Lucas was already on that path, he was already a murderer, and if he stopped now that was all he would ever be. He had driven himself to the brink of death and madness for the chance to grasp at power, and now he had added the blood of the innocent to the cost. But it was a cost that had already been paid. Like Korah said, it remained to be seen if he could make her death worthwhile, if killing her to save himself ended up being the best outcome for everyone in the end.

He was just a stranger in a strange world, and the morals of his previous life didn't seem to fit here. Perhaps he was only tired, or perhaps was changing in ways he didn't understand, but the standards by which he had been judging himself began to seem imposed. He had been forcing on himself the standards of another world, the expectations of the people he used to know. They were all gone now.

The girl wasn't the only death in his Aura, ever since he got here he had been killing non-stop to stay alive. If he had to cut a bloody swathe through this world simply to live, how could he expect the path to be less bloody if he wanted to achieve anything worthwhile? Most of all, it was the only way forward that he could see. Feeling resigned now, he began to accept it as inevitable.

In this state of contemplation and introspection Lucas’s inner awareness was sensitive enough to feel a shift taking place as he resigned himself, as he allowed himself to change. The look in the girl's eyes was still imprinted in his Aura. But now it fit his understanding of himself, a suitable reminder of the cost paid and the burden of responsibility he held. Just like the promise he had made in the cave, it became a new part of the tapestry of his soul.

Realisation dawned as he witnessed the patterns shifting into a state of balance, this was something he could not easily walk away from. The new paradigm of his self understanding freed up the inconsistencies that had been tormenting him, but he was now deeply committed. It had become a pillar holding up his ability to believe in himself, to continue acting with agency.

But every life that paid the price of his ascent to power would become a permanent increase in the pressure to justify the cost. Failure was not an option, and the price must be justified.

He was beginning to reflect on how powerful ideology could be in this world, but was caught by an idea; In his old world people often became entrenched enough in their beliefs to sacrifice themselves, or others. Perhaps the difference was that in this world the underlying mechanisms were so much clearer. Here you could peek under the hood to watch the psychological machinery at work.

Korah seemed to be watching Lucas’s Aura as he thought it though. A look of relief came over her face as the changes manifested.

“Good, you can heal from here on your own. Now, do you want to get some sleep?”

“No, there is too much work to do.”