Lex’s head hurts, perhaps it’s a symptom of his abhorrent sleep schedule. Or maybe it’s the aftermath of a hectic Sunday he’d had with Everlyn and Eren, his girlfriend and best-friend. They’d been a close group for about four years now and it had already been about a year since Everlyn had first asked him out. A light smirk plays on his face, a small memento of the moments shared since that day. Time sure does fly, Lex thinks to himself, studying the intricate patterns in the gravelly wood on his desk. The late morning sunlight pours through the windows casting light across the desk like an unfinished painting.

Lex looks up at the other 17-year-olds in his class. Just the sight of their uninterested faces is enough to bring his mood down. The classroom, far from bland, is cluttered with textbooks lining the shelves and posters with advanced calculations plastered on the walls. Mr Hevley, on the other side of the classroom, is writing down another spell on the whiteboard. Slouching deeper in his chair, Lex reflects, his thoughts growing darker. The clock’s movements a painful reminder of the time he’s letting slip away.

Often thoughts of his future plagues his mind, and today is no different. He knows that what he is doing now will lay the groundwork for a stable career - a fact drilled into him by his parents. Contrary to this, though, he still yearns for excitement from his fading childhood and the joy of expressing himself through his music. Yet, like a sled on an icy hill, he only seems to move further from the decision he’d started with.

His breath quickens as his mind spirals.

Why does it all feel so meaningless?

Looking down at the open textbook Lex feels a headache well up, a cold embrace wraps around him.

Is someone watching me? He thinks, his heartbeat quickens.

Suddenly, the opening of a window on the far side of the class, wafts a draft of intense perfume from Roisin’s hair, sickly sweet smells invade his nostrils. He scrunches his nose, yet the unpleasant sensation lingers. Turning his head to avoid the scent, he still can’t shake the icy cold embrace, that refuses to lift from around him, heavy and suffocating.

The window, like a screen in a cell, offers him a glimpse at the outside world. Maybe once I make it there, I can be happier? Lex wonders as Mr Hevley turns around. Pft, even he doesn’t want to be here. Maybe next time I just won’t show up, Lex scoffs in his head, knowing full well he could never muster the courage to even be late, much less skip.

Being late isn’t even worth it. Lessons move so fast, there’s barely time to live, much less catch up. And subconsciously, for Lex, every day takes a little more from him. He knows he is meant for a life which is more… or maybe just different.

“Oi, Lex, are you with us? Please focus on the board,” Mr Hevley drawls.

“Yes sir,” Lex mumbles, looking back at his hands as intrusive thoughts swirl up. Suddenly, an apprehensive feeling spreads through him, now like a knife held at his back, this anxiety complementing the pressure of being watched. His breath hitches before rubbing his back, as if to wipe away an unseen target.

The others in the class barley register the interaction before going back to work.

If Eren were here, maybe this class wouldn’t feel so dull.

Across the room, Hailey and Rege whisper behind Mr. Helvey’s back, their conversation effortless. Better at it than me, that’s for sure. Lex woes.

Peeking at the clock Lex checks the time. A moment later, he glances back, the clock seemingly frozen as if it’s taunting him to walk out. The temptation grows as his vision becomes hazy and the boredom creeps in.

Attempting to break through this fog, Lex rapidly jots down the last pieces of information from the board. Meanwhile he keeps one eye on the clock, as if to catch the last minutes of the lesson slipping away.

The chatter swells as the clock ticks closer to its apogee. Like a discordant symphony the piece is abruptly halted by a weak-willed warning from Mr Hevley, only for it to return full force at the discretion of the bell. The final notes echo in Lex’s ear as he collapses onto his desk. A small sigh escapes him.

With the exodus of people from the classroom, Lex stays seated and puts on one headphone. The strange sensations have dulled now. Still, it’s hard for him to avoid the overwhelming feeling of emptiness in his chest, like an abandoned orchestra hall where no music ever comes.

Lex slaps his cheek, come on, life has never been better, you have everything you’ve ever wanted… Well, not really but you have a beautiful girlfriend, all your friends are with you. You’re moving on in the world. The slap doesn’t help. This isn’t a dream. Deep down, maybe it is the monotony or the boredom of the real world, slowly peeking through the surface of the ice. However the discordancy doesn’t settle. 

Almost on a beat drop, Everlyn enters the room with Eren in tow, a slightly annoyed look on her face. Lex scans both of them, taking refuge in the comfort of their presence. Like a lifeline, it calms his beating heart and the isolation fades for a moment.

Everlyn is wearing grey trousers and a white shirt, both of which are a bit big, must have been hand-me-downs from Lilly. Though anything looks great on Everlyn, somehow, Lex thinks. Her tie is loosely done, a habit she has picked up from him. Her black hair is tied up in a ponytail, and her brown, round eyes stand their ground against the rich crème of her skin. Her face is neatly composed, with features that are relatively strong. On the other hand, her height is totally average, a fact anyone who she tells plays basketball always reminds her of.

Lex turns his attention to Eren. They spend so much time together that his face is already ingrained in Lex’s mind. He’s known Eren since junior school and by some stroke of fate they ended up in the same senior school. Eren’s features are on the daintier side, but his eyes always stand out, calm and happy even if the rest of his body doesn’t quite show it. His floppy brown hair  falls neatly around his collar, sitting exactly within the boundaries of the school’s regulations.

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Unlike Lex, Eren wears his uniform by the book, his tie perfectly in place and his trousers neatly ironed. I have no idea when I last ironed mine, Lex thinks with a grin.

“Come on, Lex, stop skimping on the common room,” Everlyn says, her words cutting through his thoughts like a preemptive strike, ripping him out of his headspace.

“But there are too many people. Why don’t we just hang out here?” Lex says. Realistically, he was just planning stay in the classroom until lessons started again, but he wasn’t about to tell them that. His mind is barely lucid enough to think straight, and certainly not enough to keep up with the rest of his friends’ antics today. He can just about deal with Everlyn and Eren.

Everlyn sighs and drags a chair over to the wooden table where Lex is sitting. Eren follows suit until they form a small circle almost like they’re about to tell ghosts stories.

“Well, our basketball competition over the weekend went well!” Everlyn exclaims clearly unfazed by Lex’s apathy. She’s been with him so much she finds it slightly endearing when he went into his hibernation mode. She smiles knowingly, aware that he’s probably been up all night playing games.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there, but those guys did beat the Lich King,” Lex explains, sincere regret seeping into his voice. “I couldn’t exactly cancel our weekly D&D sesh.”

Eren, eager to feed Lex some energy, interjects lively, “Yeah, yeah, Joey pulled out this magic item he’d been saving for months and easily beat him. You really need to work on balancing that dude.”

A smile plays on both of their lips. For the first time today, he feels parts of himself filling in. When he’s with his friends, he always feels like he can find himself. It’s just the getting together with them that’s the hard part, or rather finding the drive to. Everlyn, however, is always the proactive one in their group.

“Oh no, Lexe summoned a zombie and it’s going to hurt the princess! Watch out guys,” Everlyn teases, mocking shock.

“Lay off it! And I told you to stop calling me that, anyways did you score?” Lex chuckles, giving her a friendly push on the shoulder.

This small ray of light allows him to truly see the good in his life, if but for a moment.

“Fine, fine and yeah of course, though Jack stole the show from the whole competition. He scored three, three pointers and got like, five dunks in one game. It was really impressive” Everlyn explained.

“Well that’s cool, wasn’t enough to win the whole thing though. I heard the starting games put us on the backfoot.” Lex replies.

“Yeah, all the teams need to stop relying on the best players, we had, too many slip ups…” She responds letting the conversation peter off for a moment.

“I saw you were playing Risk of Rain. What difficulty are you at?” Eren asks attempting to bring back a lighthearted tone to the conversation and away from sports.

“Don’t even get me started. I spent all of last night trying to clear Monsoon, but I wasn’t lucky enough. I’m awful at it,” Lex replies, in a mock rage.

“Wait, you two play too? I was playing in English today and- “ Everlyn averts her gaze and halts her happily surprised questioning. She looks down as Mr Murry, her English teacher, walks past the door.

Eren and Lex start laughing as Everlyn continues, “Well I beat Monsoon with challenges enabled.”

“Dude, I swear I can never beat you at anything,” Lex replies.

Lex puts his face to the desk as Everlyn pats his hair, as if to console him.

“But yeah, especially after that Saturday, I’m surprised you could even play. We were up until one or two watching your amazing mini golfing skills.” Lex smiles again then starts to chuckle, which ignites a chain reaction around their circle.

Through tears, Everlyn manages to burst out, “I am never teaming with you again. You didn’t make a single shot.”

Eren chips in, “Me and Maddie should’ve just not even come”

“And you still would’ve scored more points than us,” Everlyn wipes away some tears. “But you went wild with the karaoke! You’re actually a great singer!”

 A warm feeling of happiness washes over Lex, like nostalgia for the present.

“Yep, you should join a band or something, or are you saving your grand debut for uni?” Eren smirks.

The mood spreads like a drunken song lifting spirits and breathing life into everyone around him.

“Sure, sur- “ Lex’s breath halts in his throat.

Like the drop of a pin, his’s mind becomes clear - awfully clear, almost as if he’s seeing in double time. He begins breathing in alien air that makes his whole body shake. The feeling forms a sense of foreboding, like a monster hiding in the shadows. One might experience such a sensation in a dark, quiet house, where the heightened anxiety making you hear things that aren’t truly there. All you can do is run back to bed and hide. 

And Lex too, can only run, and hide.

Without another word, Lex stands up completely shutting down the conversation. He runs, despite his friends’ calls almost as if pulled by an unseen force. His mind clammers, washed in fear and dread. The homogeneous hallways blur as the LED lamps, confined in bars on the ceiling, illuminate Lex’s path. He rushes through a double door, right past a teacher. Without even thinking about the trouble he might be in. Lex opens the door to the common room, not knowing where he’s going, only that he needs to go somewhere else.

The collective noise of the common room forms a gloopy sea around him as he wades through the sounds, moving quickly, yet seemingly making no progress at all. People he knows call out to him, surprised to find him here. Lex ignores them, he can’t hear them, only the roaring terror in his brain. A scratchy vinyl sends shivers down his spine as doors creak open. Running through it, Lex finally sees a clear escape to the bathroom, where he can finally breathe.

He makes it there and locks the door. He puts the seat down and sits for a moment, letting the sensation dissipate with the noise, like sand falling from orbit. Finally, having the courage to stand, Lex looks into the mirror, clutching his hands to the sides of the sink. Performing a sanity check, he throws cold water onto his face.

The cold outline of the sensation bites back against the monsters in his mind. As he opens his eyes, he sees his softly pretty face staring back in the mirror. His black hair is tied in a small ponytail, almost mimicking Everlyn’s. Standing tall, Lex looks deeper into the mirror to see an unfamiliar sight, the eyes of prey, glassy and distant. He feels hunted. Almost immediately, he shuts down again, his legs shaking. This feeling is so overwhelming, he almost cries out loud.

Slowly mustering the strength to stand, he straightens his tie and forces a smile, knowing that if he shed a single tear, he could never live that down. With the threat of mockery holding him together, Lex takes out his phone to apologize. Wh-what did I do that for? Why did I even run?

“Hey guys, sorry for that, I don’t know what came over me. Can we talk about it over lunch?” Lex types and sends. So, no data in the bathrooms, I guess. I’ll just have to wait for it to send.

With his breath still shaking and his eyes still fixed on his phone, he opens the door and steps into the corridor.

Immediately, as he looks around, a sense of claustrophobia claws at his mind, despite there being not a single soul in sight. That’s odd… where is everyone? Did I miss an assembly? That’s when Lex stops. There is no sound, no matter how much he holds his breath. A silent note echoes, sending chills throughout Lex’s frame. The feeling of being hunted, the overwhelming sense of being watched, returns with full force. Yet, he needs to understand what’s happened, what the explanation is.  

Lex runs up the steps and into the staff room, pushing his fear to the back of his mind. They’ll know where I’m meant to be Lex thinks, not quite ready to accept it. He keeps running, feeling as though he might collapse under the pressure at any moment.

Lex stands at the door, a single piece of wood between him and certainty. Summoning all his willpower, he opens it - only to stop. His heart contracts as beads of sweat slowly form on his brow.

There is nothing there, nothing outside the window - just black.

As the silence settles, the sharp sound of shrapnel pierces the quiet. Two familiar voices drift up from downstairs.