Paul was panicking.
Maybe he should have seen this coming. The dream graduation diploma couldn’t be read either, but that was normal for dreams he thought. He recalled from his character sheet that it said ‘Languages spoken: all’ but figured that was a typo.
“A typo!” Paul shouted at himself in his mind. “It’s a thing of magic that a goddess made. How could it have a typo.”
Tim and Francis were having similar existential crisis’s.
“Should we ask for help?” Tim whispered to Francis. “Maybe play it off as a health problem?”
“No way man.” Francis shook his head. “We’ve got to make a good first impression.” He inspected the paper and it’s unfamiliar characters. “It’s a form, they’re shaped like they are for a reason. Just scrawl something where you think things are supposed to go and say we’ve got bad handwriting. Maybe she’ll ask to clarify.”
Tim nodded, then looking at Julia who was still attempting to flirt with Mark. “Would you have a pen for us?” he asked.
Julia dragged her attention away from Marks face with a small frown to say “Nothing that fancy, we’ve only got quills here so let me get you...”
At this moment the front door to the adventurers guild was shoved open roughly and a group of people entered loudly.
“WORTHLESS traders this month. Barely had anything worth buying.” The obvious leader stated. “Can’t believe were still stuck here until the next one pulls through.”
The man complaining about inadequate shopping opportunities was wearing leather armour with a long sword on his hip and a shield on his back. He removed the shield to take a seat at one of the tables in the room.
Entering with the complainer were his companions. A bow wielding woman, and a man wearing gray robes and carrying a staff. The three looked like the kind of people who were in the wilderness regularly.
Sitting down at the table, the bow woman continued the conversation. “I know what you mean. This place is the pits. No good quests, nothing to do most nights.”
It was the man in the gray robes who nudged the swordsman. “Look what we got here, Newbies.” giving the four a side eye appraising look.
The swordsman craned his neck to get a better look before grinning. “Oh Julia! What do we have here? Fresh meat?”
Julia looked annoyed at the interruption of her duties. “Everett you lazy lout. I KNOW you got at least two quests you should be doing right now. What’s keeping you?”
“Market day, as you can expect.” Everett waving his hand towards the outside. “That, and you know those quests don’t have time limits. But I am so very curious about these ‘people’ we’ve got here.” giving the ‘people’ a decidedly off tone.
Everett got up from his chair and stalked towards the counter. His companions watching from their seats with amusement. He got close and snatched the paper out of Mark’s hands.
“Hah, haven’t even filled it out I see.” Everett glanced at the paper. “Have they done the orb yet?”
Julia’s mood continued to sour. “Not yet Everett, I was about to get to that when you interrupted.” said through clenched teeth.
“Oh, well don’t let me stop you.” Everett dropped the piece of paper on the counter top and looked towards Mark. “You’re the big man. Let’s see your [Status].”
“Fine.” Mark stated flatly. “Let’s get this over with.”
Julia moved the crystal ball near Mark and with an official rehersed voice. “Please place your hand on the orb and say [Status].”
Mark reached out with his right hand. As his fingers touched the orb, it lit up with a ghostly pale light in the centre. Mark flinched as a warmth came up his fingers. His palm came to rest making full contact which added a floating white ring of runes above hand and orb together. The feeling of pins and needles lanced through his palm.
“[Status]” Mark intoned.
Status Name: Mark Class: Warrior HP: 12/12 MP: 0/0 SP: 1/1 STR: 16 STM: 14 AGI: 12 INT: 8 DEX: 12 LCK: 14
Julia looked horrified. Everett however, bent in half laughing like a donkey.
“Oh shit, you guys gotta see this!” Everett motioned for his companions to approach before losing his composure a second time. “He’s like a little baby.”
Mark released the ball and shook out his hand o release the phantom pain. He stared down at the laughing man and bit back his words.
“How about the rest of you?” Everett prompted the other three. Malicious glee spread across his face.
Francis took the bait. “Let me up there.” He snarled and climbed up the counters edge.
Grasping the ball firmly and wincing slightly he almost shouted “[Status].”
Status Name: Francis Class: Thief HP: 9/9 MP: 0/0 SP: 1/1 STR: 8 STM: 12 AGI: 17 INT: 13 DEX: 17 LCK: 11
“Oh man!” Everett rolled his smiling eyes. “This is the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks! This ones even weaker!”
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Francis hopped down and aimed for Everett’s toes. Unfortunately, from Francis’s perspective, he encountered a toe cap.
“You little shit. Watch where you’re going.” Everett snapped. “That could have hurt.”
While Everett was distracted, Paul took the opportunity to grasp the orb. He gave out a small audible gasp as the magic took hold. “[Status].”
Status Name: Paul Class: Mage HP: 7/7 MP: 2/2 SP: 1/1 STR: 8 STM: 12 AGI: 16 INT: 16 DEX: 16 LCK: 10
Julia gave Paul a look of pity. “Don’t worry. I hear that MP grows over time. Maybe you’ll have enough to cast a spell in a year or two?”
Paul knew that he shouldn’t feel ashamed. But it was hard not to with the look Julia gave him.
“Guess I’m the only one left.” Tim announced.
Everett looked forward to the latest bit of humiliation he was about to give. Tim lifted his black stone like hand to the orb and the runes on them glowed in sympathy with the orb.
“[Status].” Tim announced.
Status Name: Tim Class: Healer HP: 12/12 MP: 2/2 SP: 1/1 STR: 13 STM: 16 AGI: 10 INT: 12 DEX: 10 LCK: 8
The expected mocking died on Everett’s lips. He stared at Tim for a moment, the other three, and back at his group, before wetting his lips to ask. “So you’re a healer?”
Tim released the orb and rested his arm on the counter. “That says I am, what’s it to you?”
“My group could use a healer.” Everett launched into his offer. “We can keep you safe while you level up for sure. Get you the right gear. You’ll be rich enough to bite your own coins in no time, I promise.”
Tim looked like he was considering it. Chin resting on his hand, arms crossed, foot tapping on the floor. “Hmmmmmmm” he let the sound rumble out for a long moment.
“Let me sweeten the deal.” Everett started rubbing his hands together. “You’ll get a third of the rewards instead of a regular four way split.”
“While that does sound like a tempting offer.” Tim pointed at Everett. “I couldn’t possibly work with someone like yourself.” He thumbed towards Paul, Francis, and Mark. “I’m with them.”
Everett looked incensed, but quickly tamped down on the angry emotion. “I suspect you don’t know what you’re missing out on. But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Everett turned away from Tim and gave a murderous glare towards the other three before returning to his table. His companions quickly huddled around and they started a hasty whispered conversation.
“Unpleasant.” Tim stated. He turned towards Julia. “If you would be so kind as to fill out those papers for us?”
Julia gave Tim a warm smile. “Sure, I can do that. While you’re waiting, why not look at the quest board. You’ll officially be adventurers after this.” She gestured to her right at a peg board with two pieces of paper attached.
The four thanked her and wandered over to the board. Mark shot Everett a dark look at the back of his head on the way over. As they arrived, the four put their heads together to have their own whispered conversation.
“Quick thinking Tim.” Francis reached up to pat the dwarf on it’s upper arm. “One hurdle passed. Now what should we do next?”
Mark spoke up. “I do believe that those guys back there are planning something bad for us. They didn’t take your refusal nicely Tim. We’ll have to keep an eye out.”
Paul nodded. “That goes without saying. But now that we’re here, penniless I must add.”
“Nibless.” Francis interrupted. “We don’t have any nibs.”
“Right, nibless.” Paul continued. “We got to do something for work, especially if we want to eat...” Paul looked at Tim and raised an eyebrow. “You do eat though, right?”
Tim had to think for a moment longer than usual for this type of question. “Yes, I think so at least.”
“OK so what does the board have, even if we can’t read it.” Paul plucked one of the pieces of paper off the board, one that had a picture on it. “The other one is pure writing, and this one has what I think is a goblin on it.”
Drawn on the paper was a relatively well done drawing of an ugly humanoid with large bulbous nose and wide floppy pointed ears.
“Going off of what I think is happening.” Paul pointed at the picture. “This is a quest to kill some goblins. Fairly standard stuff.”
“What’s a goblin?” Mark asked, rubbing his chin in contemplation.
“Probably a small green guy, about Francis’s height with this kind of face if my guess is correct.” Paul waved his hand around waist height. “Most likely rove around in packs, enjoys caves, general menace, that sort of thing.”
“Ah, varmint hunting. Yeah I can see that being important.” Mark nodded.
“Remove some pests, get paid, then maybe pants.” Francis looked up at Mark. “Especially pants for you.”
Mark opened his mouth in mild scandalous shock.
“All set for you!” Julia called out, drawing their attention back to her. She had the four plates laid out on a tray.
The four made their way back to the counter to inspect their new forms of identification. Etched on the plates were their names, surprisingly legible to them, along with a word they couldn’t read. There was a space remaining that was still blank.
“We got your name, your class, and your adventurer rank.” Julia pointed out. “Sorry I couldn’t give you an easy in to rank one. I don’t think that’d be... safe.” She added nervously.
Mark picked his up and inspected the neat writing. “Thank you kindly Julia.”
Julia fluttered her eyes.
“We also brought over a quest we’d like to take on.” Mark gestured to Paul who laid the paper on the counter top.
With a smile, Julia picked up the paper. “Oh yes, the GOBLINS, that SOMEONE, should have TAKEN CARE OF ALREADY.” raising her voice for the offending trio in the room. “I’d be glad to mark you four down as working on it.”
Paul butted in by saying “Could you give us any additional details?”
Julia blinked. “I mean it’s all there on the page. Goblins, to the west, making sex, harassing farmers, take them out and bring back proof.”
Paul also blinked. “Right, yes, we’ll get right on that. Tomorrow perhaps, it’s getting late. Can you suggest a place for us to stay the night?”
Julia patted Paul on the hand. “Not to worry, I would suggest the Cup and Crow just down the way. Can’t miss it. Gosh you’re soft.”
Paul retracted his hand. “Thank you miss. I suppose we’ll be on our way.”
The others gave Julia waves and nods and turned towards the front door.
On the way there, Francis looked up at Paul and tugged him down to ask. “’Making sex’?”
Paul could only shrug.