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An Alien in Wonderland
A Curious Report

A Curious Report

The following is the court scribe's transcription of high general Velmoore's report to our majesty Deimos III about the battle with the Cloud Empire.

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Scribe: Today is the eighth day of the sixth moon cycle. The start of summer. For recording purposes, may you state your name?"

Velmoore: Belfry Velmoore.

Scribe: My thanks. You may begin your report about your loss against the Cloud Empire two days ago. I would advise you to keep in mind that your report will determine whether your head remains on your neck or not.

Velmoore: I understand.

King Deimos: Enough with the pleasantries. I understand that we have lost over twenty thousand men. Three of our legions have been crippled, and yet you promised victory. You have much to answer for.

Velmoore: My deepest apologies, my liege, but you cannot blame me or my men. By all accounts, we had victory in our hands. The battlefield was a wide, open plain where our infantry and cavalry reign superior. In addition, our squadrons of wyvern riders far outclass their kirin corps.

The only issue was that they held high-level cultivators within their ranks that acted as one-man armies. Even then, we disabled them with a new spell the witches of our dark magic department developed that disrupted the mana they call 'Qi'.

King Deimos: Yes, yes, you've already told me this. These were your battle plans, and I was the one to approve them. However, you lost and have come crawling back with thousands of dead. Obviously, the Cloud Empire outmaneuvered you.

Velmoore: They did not, my liege. We did not face defeat at the hands of the Cloud Empire.

King Deimos: Then what? Careful now, Velmoore, though I respect your tactical head, if I hear an unbelievable yarn, I will not hesitate to take it and have it decorate my throne room.

Velmoore: We lost due to...a peculiarity.

King Deimos: Details, Velmoore. Give me details. 

Velmoore: It came from the sky. Fell down in a ball of fire and landed in our ranks during the thick of battle.

King Deimos: A falling star, is it? Like the one the Knightsguard blades are forged from? Our astrology department has not divined any such event to occur.

Velmoore: Not a star, not a ball of rock and metal, but a thing. A creature.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

King Deimos: A monster that fell from the skies? A wounded dragon?

Velmoore: I'm afraid not, my liege. For if it were a dragon, we could have handled it, as we had Diamond-Class Adventurers on standby for monsters or undead that came close from the scent of blood. It was not a creature that the adventurers recognized even with their decades of experience.

King Deimos: If not a monster, then what else? Has the Cloud Empire created a new beast of war?

Velmoore: Not at all. When it broke from its shell, it did not seem to know friend or foe. The first thing it did was split a man in two with its claws.

King Deimos: The soldiers did not fight it? No monster can afford to stay in the middle of an army without falling eventually.

Velmoore: I do not mean offense, my liege, but if you were there, you would understand. There was no fighting it. A few men tried, yes, but their spears snapped in two off the creature's hide. Swords shattered. Arrows bounced off. Yet each swing of its great arms cleaved dozens of men in half.

King Deimos: A monster with a diamond-class danger rating or above. Well, it's fortunate that there were diamond-class adventurers for a diamond-class threat - fitting, no? Did they engage the monster?

Velmoore: Indeed, my liege, but they fared no better than the average soldier. One swipe, and the halves of their bodies fell into the growing pile of corpses just like the average peasant soldier. After they died, the captain of the Knightsguard, ever the courageous and battle-hungry warrior, engaged it and managed to trade blows with the creature for a few seconds. Far more than could be said for anyone else.

When the captain fell to the creature's blows, the creature…ate the captain.

King Deimos: That is what monsters do, no? What is so surprising about that?

Velmoore: Yes, but the results, I have never observed before in a monster.

After the creature devoured the captain, it shrunk. It looked more human and yet still monstrous, much like an arch-demon. And it spoke.

King Deimos: Why pause. Tell me, what did it say?"

Velmoore: It shouted so loud that soldiers near it bled out of their ears. At the backlines, many hundreds of meters away, with the sound of screaming men and clashing weapons in my ear, even I could hear it clearly. Must I repeat its words verbatim? It does not suit my character.

King Deimos: You are required. Speak.

Velmoore: "FACE ME, YOU WHO CALL YOURSELVES HUMANS, PROVE THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF DEVOURING. THOSE WHO STEP FORWARD AND FIGHT, I WILL CRUSH THEIR SKULLS AND GRANT THEM PAINLESS DEATHS, BUT THOSE WHO RUN, I SHALL TEAR THEIR SPINES FROM THEIR BACKS AND MANGLE THEIR CORPSES SO THAT EVEN THE INSECTS DARE NOT FEAST UPON THEM."

King Deimos: A lively creature, eh. Since you have come scrambling back from a retreat, I assume the creature made true on its words.

Velmoore: Yes. It certainly did. It proved its words with twenty thousand of our own lives. When the Cloud Empire pressed forward to attack when we retreat, the creature attacked them too. I am sure it brought much suffering and misery upon their encampments as well.

King Deimos: Have these events been recorded by observing sorcerers?

Velmoore: They have, my liege. Though my story may sound far-fetched, I have more than enough proof. You may question the peasants drafted for that battle as well, if you wish, or the Knightsguard that saw their beloved captain squashed like a bug.

King Deimos: Enough. I am harsh out of necessity. I do not truly doubt your words, and you have proven to me an honest and good man already. I merely wanted to hear the situation from your own mouth.

This report is over. Go rest.

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Thus concludes High General Velmoore's report to King Deimos III. May our kingdom continue to prosper through these trying times.