I ran. Into the forest, over a stream, past ancient ruins. The frenzy that was building up inside of me was moments from bursting. After my first taste I couldn’t stop thinking about that moment of foul ecstacy. If the survivors had been more freshly bled, if the fight with the fiends had drawn out into a brawl, any number of things would have set me off. I felt relieved to be away from my temptations, but felt lost when finally alone.

At some point I stopped running. My body was becoming more and more slow, sluggish, exhausted. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, what I even was. When I first awoke I simply accepted this body was some strange fact of existence, now as my mind and body continue to develop and change I felt a fear and shame building that was moments from reaching its peak. What was I, why did I crave blood and death, why could I use such strange powers, and why can no one but that woman understand me?

There were too many questions and no one to answer them. I needed peace, I thought. I found a pond, a serene place of tranquil quiet. This tranquility was ruined by my fell presence. The water was still, barely a bubble in the clear liquid, and I saw myself. A cloaked figure who seemed vaguely alive. A shadowed face and unclear build. Enough I could probably have passed as a person and infiltrated the city. My description was so vague and blurry a thought invaded my mind; I could probably have indulged in some of the diseased or downtrodden to satiate myself and no one would notice…

I stopped. Staring into my own reflection I realized what I had just thought. A sort of shameful terror was setting in, “How could I think something so… foul…” I said to the water. I removed my hood and the magic disappeared. A blood-covered skull looked back at me. Empty save for an unnatural darkness where eyes should be. As I investigated myself I realized almost every part of my body was coated in a layer of dried blood, it felt foul despite giving me no sensation at all. I decided that I shouldn’t walk around covered in such gore, and the pond gave an easy solution to my woes. So removing the magic robe, then climbing into the pond, I scrapped, clawed, and ground myself clean with a disgusted hand.

For whatever reason, immersing myself in the water and cleaning the gore made me feel worse. I had to become painfully aware of just how far my carnage and sanguine urges reached. I seemed to be tormenting myself, it felt strange and wrong to hate what I had done in this way. I didn’t know any better, I have no memories, what if this is natural? I thought to myself. Yet my logic wavered against a war with some voice of morality that had no identity. Why did I think in certain ways, who was I before I awoke like this, and why did this happen to me?

I noticed that, in my dread, night was quickly coming. The dark was almost unnoticed, my vision adapted so naturally as the sun disappeared and the last rays of light fought to enter the forest. I used the last rays of light to dry myself, as my mind was further spun into a whirlwind of chaos and frustration. As the night continued to fall, my chaotic thoughts began to melt away. Something about the dark was almost soothing to me now, despite my eagerness to escape it before. I just couldn’t seem to make up my mind on anything now, my instincts fighting against my mind and both of those being subjugated by some invisible morality I didn’t even understand.

As the night drew on I instinctively put my robe back on, bundling myself against the night for whatever reason. My body reacted on its own, craving warmth that was impossible and hiding from a cold that wasn’t there. I almost laughed at how strange I was. Some incomplete person in a body that made it a monster, yet unable to become monstrous due to their incompleteness. If I was anything I must’ve been some failed experiment. A mistake of magic and power born into a body that was neither dead nor alive. Yet whatever I was or wasn’t, I was hungry.

The hunger I felt had been growing since I used my powers after my sanguine ritual. They increased more and more every time I used any magic or exerted myself. I felt that even walking made me hunger for blood and death. Yet I still had enough control over myself to further steer myself deeper into the forest away from the city. I might become deranged, if I did I didn’t want to risk hurting my savior or their kin.

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The further I journeyed into the dark forest the less light there was. The trees grew tall and their canopy enveloped the sky completely. No rays of moonlight shone through their thick branches. As the trees grew taller and the light dimmer, the ground became easier to travel. Where once bushes, patches of tall grass, and newly grown trees had once been, now bare dirt conquered all. The forest was silent and empty, a perfect place for me to hide myself away again. I didn’t want to be locked in some eternal rest like I had done accidentally in the ruins, but I didn’t trust myself near society with my urges so powerful. The forest will have to shelter me for now.

As I walked further and further, I started to realize how strange the lack of any sound was. The forest was silent save for the crunching of dirt and dead leaves beneath my boney feet. Some instinct warned me to be cautious, that not everything was as peaceful and quiet as it seemed. As I began to creep forward, suddenly aware of how loud I was in the dead silence, a part of me started to whisper again. Arcane wisps and fell voices tried to enter my mind once more. Yet a bigger influence was calling for my attention this time, the book I held was pining for my attention.

In a pocket of my robe the book I had taken from that dark grave began to glow. In the dark it was like a beacon, even while covered by my robes. I frantically grabbed it, hoping to silence it. Like before, without even needing to open it or take it out of my robes I could feel the words emanating from the book. The words that came promised their silence once spoken, and my instincts told me not to allow the light to expose me any longer even at the cost of some of my vitality. Speaking the words, “Gaze, far thy shall reach.” I channeled the magic from my power through the book.

In an instant my world changed. The dark, which I thought I could see fine within, suddenly became bright and fully exposed to me. My vision pierced farther than I thought was possible. The detail of every nook and crack on the trees around me was fully revealed, only the quantity of objects stopped my sight from reaching as far as forever. Yet besides what I already saw, but now in more detail, I could also see invisible things. I saw bugs flitting through the air and their insectoid horror, the wind itself carried imperceivable dust making waves curl and blow throughout, I could even swear I saw flits of energy pulsing out of the still living. Trees, bugs, plants, and even water spat out energetic pulses of many colors; almost entirely invisible save for the faintest of impressions. Yet more importantly than that, I saw what was right in front of me.

Before me sat a spectral beast of titanic size. A nearly invisible cat, lion, tiger, panther, and mighty feline combined into one massive cat-god. Like the amalgamation of what all felines should be, the primal form sat staring down at me with an intense glare. The creature was mighty, taller than any I had ever seen, and it looked furious. It bore a lion’s coat with a panther’s sleekness, but with the fangs of a jaguar and mighty claws of a tiger. The beast was as huge as a building, every part of it was exaggerated for power and strength. With a golden coat, silver mane, and obsidian teeth and claws the specter was the very vision of terror in a forest such as this.

The spectral cat-god seemed moments from rage, seeing me as its prey. I tried to dodge behind a tree, knowing my only escape could be in an early flight. As I ducked behind the tree I covered myself in my robes. My instincts told me that nothing could stop such a beast, hiding and hope were all that could avail me here. As I awaited my doom, I was surprised that it never came. Peaking out of my robes I was met once again with the staring face of the mighty feline god. Yet instead of furious glares, it stared at me with a type of curiosity that I didn’t think was possible from an animal; but I supposed this creature was anything except a normal animal.

The spectral beast looked down at me, an intelligence in its eyes that I didn’t expect to find. Its gaze was newly filled with a tint of curiosity; fury and rage having melted halfway. The creature moved slightly, barely shifting its weight, and I instinctively flinched. The beast reacted with a twinge at the corner of its eyes, almost like it didn’t expect me to react. Peering close to me, the beast placed its head directly in front of me. Its head was larger than my entire body at full height.

The mighty creature seemed as if it was trying to tear me apart with its mind alone, it stared so deeply into me. It felt as if all parts of me were exposed, nothing could hide my being from this creature. When it was satisfied with its investigation it turned away and slowly walked further into the forest. The encounter having ended so quickly that I began to wonder if it really happened in the first place, could I have been hallucinating? The confusion kept with me as I eventually tried to leave in search of nothing in particular.

As I began to attempt to right myself and continue my travel, I found myself lost. The trees were strangers to me, despite having just traveled them, my mind and memory seemed all turned around from my haste and recent terror. I thought I hadn’t gone so fast I wouldn’t remember my way back, but somehow I found myself utterly misplaced. With no choice but to move forward, I decided to walk in the opposite direction of the spectral cat-god. The creature seemed peaceful now but I didn’t want to push that luck further.