I’m literally so low, I’m considering asking the floor to be my best friend. Solid, reliable, always there for me. Honestly, it’s already doing a better job than most people in life.

Meanwhile, Donny-oh, Donny is out there being a prodigy. A literal Saint-rank mage at 12 years old? That guy’s a walking cheat code. I’m 17 and I can’t even figure out how to boil rice without creating a small house fire. Life’s not fair, but hey, who needs fairness when you’ve got…Uh whatever it is that I’ve got.

Then it happens. Donny, decides to show off by summoning a literal storm . The air started crackling and I’m pretty sure the sky is reconsidering its life choices. Meanwhile, I’m standing here like, “Yeah, no big deal,” while secretly praying not to die.

But one thing’s clear I want that power. The kind that makes the world take a step back and go, “Whoa, maybe we shouldn’t call him a ‘disaster’ anymore.” Yeah, I know what they say about me. Amon, the Calamity. Real creative, guys. I’ve got dreams, okay?

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

So, I make a plan.

Step 1: Find treasure. Not just any treasure. The kind that makes you op like in those generic novel.

Step 2: Become stronger. Preferably with zero effort involved because hard work is overrated.

Step 3: Betray everyone who ever said my hair looked bad. (Still salty about that, by the way.)

Step 4: Steal stuff. But, like… don’t get caught. I have my limits.

Step 5: Find a teacher. Not a good one just someone gullible enough to think I’m trying.

Step 6: Somehow become a legend. Not sure how yet. Probably involves pretending I had morals all along.

No morals. No talent. Just vibes.

Also, can someone teach me how to cook? Seriously, the rice thing is getting embarrassing.