"I want to tell you about a fuckwit I met last year."
"Go for it! I’m all ears for a good story about a fuckwit—lay it on me."
"As fuckwits go, it doesn’t get much bigger than this cunt."
"Sounds like a heavyweight contender in the Hall of Fuckwits. What did this absolute unit of a bastard do to earn the title?"
"Oh, it’s a long story—pull up a seat. This prick ran a freight train through my life, wrecking everything. As if life wasn’t hard enough—working morning to night, caring for two people—this fuckwit had to come along and dedicate his time to trying to kill me. What a piece of shit. It went on for three months, he had countless goes at me. Then, he killed someone else."
"Bloody hell. That’s next-level psycho."
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"Yeah, I ended up hearing it happen. The one silver lining in all this? I heard the whole thing go down and realized exactly who’d done it. But then I went into shock—I couldn’t even call the cops straight away. It took me six days to finally report it because I was dealing with traumatic amnesia from all his previous attempts on me."
"Jesus Christ. Six days? That’s not something anyone could just snap out of. But you got there in the end—what happened next?"
"Well, my tip pointed the police in the right direction, and they started putting the pieces together. But this stupid bastard couldn’t let it go—he kept stalking me. A few weeks later, I got footage of his drone hovering around, sent it to the cops, and bam—they knew they had their man. Drones and stalkers go together. Ten days after that, they took him off the streets before he could kill again. No doubt about it. They saved my life."
"That’s insane. A drone? What a creepy little coward."
"Oh, he was the definition of a coward. But I’ve skipped to the end when there’s so much more to this story. If you’re interested, I’ll unpack it bit by bit, and you’ll see just how much of a pathetic, dangerous piece of shit this guy turned out to be."
"I’m hooked. Let’s break it down—I need to hear the full saga of this absolute scumbag."