Before the new arrivals to Flagstone…
A foot sinks deep into the mud following a trail of footprints…
‘Come on…come on…it’s gonna rain any second now and mess up my perfect sexy hair!’ Club continues her pursuit of a new discovery with twigs and leaves stuck in her locks.
She stops at the top of a small ridge that overlooks tall grass and takes a quick peek at the overcast skies. Yep, they’re in for a big storm, alright. You can always rely on the weather report. She looks back and down and listens to the rustling of the tall grass, watching the new discovery waddle through the stalks. The waddles stop at a small nook under a tree.
Club smiles and folds her arm. ‘Right where I want ya!’ She slides down the ridge and tiptoes through the blades of the yellowed meadow.
Making her way forward, she flinches as she hears a faint clattering sound. Almost sounds like porcelain? She grips the stalks ahead, ready to surprise what’s on the other side.
Club inhales deeply aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…pulls! “GOTCHA YA LIL’ EEEEEEEHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”
1_monkey_fixed.png [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/864949614338506773/1029757820956065852/1_monkey_fixed.png]
Club can’t believe her eyes! Her eyes couldn’t believe it either, so much so that they shot right out of her sockets! It’s….a spider monkey wearing a top hat and a suit, and pouring itself a cup of tea!?!?!?
The gravity of the situation hits them both like a truck.
Club tiptoes closer, still in either absolute shock or abject horror, like it makes any difference. The spider monkey sweats bullets as it tightly grips the teapot's handle.
Club takes another step, and the spider monkey's sweat hits the dirt.
Club takes another step, the reeds rustle, and something catches the monkey’s attention.
A sharp talon trots out, followed by a snot that pokes out and grins with a wide mouth lined with razor-sharp teeth, following that are claws that slice through the reeds. Club and the monkey were not alone. They are surrounded by three hissing, drooling, voracious, and ready-to-feast on cavegirl hide and monkey face, Velociraptors. Colloquially known as “Swift Seizers.”
teaparty_1.png [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/864949614338506773/1029757822155620413/teaparty_1.png]
The monkey can feel the still pouring searing tea against its hand but doesn’t flinch. Instead, it's careful not to make any sudden movements. The monkey reckons that it and this cavegirl might just survive if they handle this situation sensitively and methodically…
“UGH! WHAT SMELLS LIKE DINOSHIT!?!?” Club holds her nose and starts swatting the air.
All three Velociraptors growl in unison and snap over at her.
The most agitated of the three pounces first!
*BOP* Club slugs under its chin with an annoyed uppercut.
The most honorable of the two lunges next to aid its comrade!
*CRAAAACK* Club delivers a valiant firm backhanded slap across its face. Shattering all its teeth in rapid succession.
The remaining one that might as well do something makes a pathetic *grr* and stumbles forward with wobbly legs.
*BOP* Club gives it a well-practiced effortless flick on the nose. Its eyes water as it trots away, whimpering.
Club walks over to the monkey and bends down. “You ok lil’ fella~?”
“I am quite fine, madam, and thank you,” says the monkey.
“That’s a relief, I was worried that they would…EEEEEEEHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?” Club screams.
Realizing the severe error in its ways, the monkey dives into the reeds and hauls ass out of there!
Across ponds, across vines, across perilous slopes, the monkey makes his escape. The more progress he makes, the more distant Club’s begging nagging voice that goes, “WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! COME BAAAAAAAAAAACK!” fades and becomes more distant.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Feeling it’s made it more than far enough away to safety, the monkey stops on a floppy tree branch at a distant clearing a few miles away, give or take, from that nightmare of an unintended guest at his tea break.
‘What was with that crazy woman? Homo sapiens, all the same. All crazy.’ The top-hatted simian hangs upside down with his tail and listens carefully to his surroundings. Nothing but the chirping of insects. The monkey drops to the ground.
‘...finally lost her.’ He smacks a mosquito creeping on his arm.
*RUSTLE* He raises an eyebrow. Must have been the wind-
“GOTCHA~❤️” Club slides across the dirt and clutches the monkey with both hands.
The monkey tries to play the fool and creates clever primate gaslighting by going OOH! OOH! OOH! but Club is having none of it.
“Is that any way to thank your hero?” Club grins. “In English, por favor~❤️”
“You mean En Ingles!” retorts the monkey.
Club blows a raspberry at him. “Bleh! Says you!”
“...and for your information, I could have handled those rapscallions myself!” The monkey assuredly knows better than her, at least according to himself. “I’d like to humbly request that you release me at once!”
Club cranks up the sparkles in her eyes. “Only if you promise not to run away~❤️”
“...fine…” The monkey huffs.
Club gently puts him down, hops in the air, crosses her legs, and falls to sit on the ground.
“Fine~?” She adjusts the monkey’s crooked hat.
“Thank you…well, what is it?” he asks.
Club claps her hands. “How can you talk?”
“Because I can,” he answers.
“What are you doing all the way out here?” Club claps more frustratingly.
“Because I need to be,” he answers.
“Listen, if you plan on running the gamut of obvious questions, I don’t have the time for it. I must be on my way-” He starts to hop away but gets cut off by Club already in front of him.
She’s sketching away in the field journal. “On your way to?”
“Hey! What are you writing in there!?” The monkey goes for the journal but is easily evaded.
“Monkey business~❤️” Club jots away with her pen.
“Ta-da~❤️” She reveals a near-perfect replica of the monkey. “Needs a name, though~❤️”
Simultaneously frustrated and impressed, the monkey folds his arms. “What do you plan on doing with that?”
“Maaaaaybe I’ll want to show it to somebody, Curious George.” She flaunts the journal in front of his face.
He reaches for it, but Club is too quick and yanks it back.
“How about a trade?” Club raises her eyebrows. “I’ll trade you this art for a lil’ honesty.”
The monkey grits his teeth. “FINE! One drawing, one honest answer!”
Club taps her finger on her lips. “Why are you here? Politely and honestly, please~❤️”
‘Heh…’ The monkey decides to humor her.
“I’m looking for a creature with amber eyes. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you? Didn’t think so!” The monkey flicks his nails. Got her! Club burned her ONLY question on an answer that will lead her absolutely nowhere-
“You mean like these~❤️” Club decides to humor him and reveals her amber eyes with the smuggest of smug faces.
The monkey rapid fires several uncontrollable, authentic OOH! OOH! OOH!’s in response.
*CRAAAACK* *BOOOOM* The storm finally comes down.
monkeyart.png [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/864949614338506773/1029757821803298897/monkeyart.png]
‘Impossible…’ The monkey rubs his eyes.
Club rips out the drawing from the journal and hands it over to him. “A promise is a promise.” She stands and watches the rain drip off her arms. “If I ever see ya around again, I’d love to chitty-chitty-chat-chat~❤️”
“You shouldn’t have to worry about any more weirdos if ya stick to the valley downriver and through the forest~❤️” Club struts off as her feet patter through the mud.
“WAIT! PLEASE!” The monkey cuts her off.
“Ah, ya don’t have to worry. Even if I blabbered to the whole town about ya, I doubt anyone would believe me.” Club shrugs.
The monkey grips the drawing. “No, it’s not that. Please…”
He sighs. “There is no other way to put this, but you HAVE to come back with me…”
Club leans over and raises an eyebrow. “Uh huuuuuuuhhhhhh, I have to come back where?”
“To my home, I suppose…” The monkey sighs again.
“Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, your home, huh? I hope you only need help framing my high-quality art!” Club folds her arms.
The monkey takes off his hat and bows to her. “Please…please…” Each time he pleads, his face crinkles with pain.
Club is surprised. It feels genuine. She scratches her head and looks around the rain as the wind whistles through the reeds as she postulates. Club’s been away from home and her ❤️man❤️ for much longer than expected or wanted to be.
The monkey feels a pat on his shoulder.
“Is home out of the rain?” Club smiles at him.
“Yes! It’s a cave up north from here, hurry!” The monkey smiles back and hops along. “And my name is Amos!”
Club chuckles and walks beside him. “My name is Fabiana Granite~❤️”
The monkey is taken aback.
“I dunno, something tells me you weren’t lying, sooooo I didn’t think I should either~❤️” Club scrunches out water from her soaked hair all over Amos’ hat.
He groans and rattles water off his suit.
“...sorry…” Club looks away.
The two travel out into a clearing that precedes a vast prairie as rain and shadows sweep the valley…
A sneer passes through the air as a certain Vulture grins at the gradually out-of-view Club and Amos. Being ever faithful and ever dedicated, this uninvited third guest had been careful to stay just close enough but just enough away so as to not disturb the meeting between a moronic cavegirl and a disease-ridden primate. The Vulture had more than its fill for now after this successful spy time. Too easy, too too easy. It’s overjoyed and overstuffed with the informational feast provided to it today. The Vulture can barely contain itself as it somersaults into the air and rockets away, eager to share the delicious bounty with its master…
-CHAPTER END-
-SET IN STONE-
campfire.png [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/864949614338506773/1029757821425827880/campfire.png]