Leon stood hands clasped behind his back watching the one person in the world that meant anything to him be carried away. It was harrowing, the effort it took to simply keep his feet planted and not follow, to him it was immeasurable. Yet somehow, he managed it. Though even as he did tears took turns on his cheeks, renewing the streams to where they dropped away.

Anara put a hand on his shoulder, her aging frame lending some small strength to him in that moment, “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

Leon nodded, “It seemed like only yesterday that she was pestering me to teach her about the sun, or the stars. Like only moments ago we were sitting on that old stump staring up at the sky watching the streaks of light overhead.” He said, his tone wavering as he watched the wagon round behind some trees. His aura sight extended beyond, and vaguely he could still identify her familiar aura, an aura that even after fourteen winters reminded him of her mother.

Leon always had felt it was a bit strange, no one else he knew seemed familiar the way she did. But all the same, perhaps it was in his head. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t found ways of lying to himself before. Deep down he probably knew that Amanda had been trying to teach herself, but he had ignored all the signs. Talking to others in the village had helped him rationalize things. Fitting Amanda’s actions into some previously trodden pathway walked by some other child, he let himself accept her actions as simple rebellion.

He found it was hard to not beat himself up over that when it came up. It was after all his fault. It was his fault that she hadn’t progressed like she should have. It was his fault that they had drifted apart over the past winters. At what point had he faltered, since when had it all gone wrong. How much time had he spoiled because of his own failures?

He pushed the thought away, as he had done so many times before. It was pointless to keep hammering at himself for the same thing over and over again. He knew that much, but it wouldn’t be the last time, it was all too easy to go down that path again. Just like it had been all too easy to forgive her when she was standing there crying out for him. He loved her too much to stay angry for any real length of time. Because of that, he had somehow ended up spending the time passing on what small tips and advice as he could. It was silly he knew, as though a few days could make up for lost time.

He took a breath, and considered instead, her road ahead. He had been corresponding with someone at the academy for years now, and the letter and coin he had given Amanda herself would help for a few other things. However beyond that he knew that she would need to find her own path. He had seen her isolate herself from others her own age for some time, while hiding what she was doing from everyone else, he finally understood that distant look she had so many times now.

Resisting the urge to once again consider his own role in that, he continued a more productive thought. It was going to be spring soon, and the last thing he wanted was for her to arrive late. In some ways she was already behind, and he had no doubt that he was tossing a very strange task to the professors at Vanshimer. She was already a second or third year student in the magus arts, yet she knew nothing of what else the academy taught.

He was to blame for that equally, he had no interest in history, religion, or politics. So he had perhaps woefully underprepared his daughter for that side of things. But like with anything in life there was only forward, and for Amanda it lay down this road. But for him? What did the future hold for Leon De’Heron now?

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

He wasn’t sure what there was for him, when Amanda was done, would she come back? Did he even want that for her? It was impossible to predict what she might choose, and in truth, he had to admit that he had no say in it. He had always tried to let her find her own path in life, though in so many ways that had come right back to himself. He was likely to blame for that as well, there were days he had wondered if he should have stayed in Synovo, found some way to make it work. But in the end he had taken the easy way for himself, in some ways he thought that was better, in others worse.

It was all too easy to feel her aura flickering along the edges of his perception now. Her entire education brought into question, every choice he had ever made poised on the end of a pin. Had he done the best he could? Could he have done better?

The answer was obvious, of course he could have done better, at least theoretically. But that was to study the world from outside of it, and no matter how far he removed himself from the cities, or people, he could never remove himself so far as to be objective, especially with Amanda.

He simply had to accept that what he had done was enough, that Pluan if she was still with him would be standing by his side, watching Amanda start down her path with a smile on her face. Even as they both would be barely holding it together. Somehow, that made him feel better, knowing that in truth, she would be happy, smiling right there with him. Yet it was all the more painful to not have her, to be unable to share this moment with her. He shuddered even as the tears continued.

He patted Anara’s hand, “Thanks for seeing her off with me.” He was grateful for the woman. He had come to rely on her too many times, in more ways than he cared to realize.

“It's nothing, really.” She offered.

After a moment of letting the tears flow freely, Leon finally spoke, “I should get going...”

“Leon… You don’t have to be such a stranger you know.” Anara said.

“I know.” Leon replied, “But the truth is that I think it's time I stretch my legs, head down a road of my own.”

“I.. I’m sorry?” Anara asked, confused, and not following his logic.

In truth only now did Leon understand it himself, “She’ll head north, I think for now, I’ll head south.”

“But...” Anara started.

Leon turned to her, “If I stay here I’ll spend my days missing her.”

Anara smiled sadly up at him with a solemn acceptance in her eyes, “You’ll come back? Where is she to go when she needs a home to return to?”

“I’ll send letters to the academy and here when I have time. Do me that favor at least, if she comes looking for me, tell her where I’ve gone then.”

“Of course...” Anara agreed.

Leon nodded, “If she does show up, tell her that she can take anything from our home should she need it. You and the others can take whatever foodstuffs are left, I usually keep it lightly stocked as is. But no point in letting it go to waste.”

“I.. understand, but isn’t this too sudden?” She asked.

Leon shook his head, “No, I don’t think it is.” He took her hand into his, clasped it gently and said, “Anara, thank you for all the help. But it's about time I move on.” Then he released her hand, and turned, starting down the worn dirt path, south towards Synovo, towards the gulf, towards the sea beyond. Towards something different, or so he figured.

It might have slipped his mind that the last words he gave Anara were the same words he used to tell her each time he would head back to the front, until Pluan had changed everything.