Inside her room, drawing away her feelings late at night, the crescent moon staring at her, a white owl watching her from the outside of her window on a tree branch, Angela was finishing her brother's birthday present. She finished the last details: the shading and darkening of two people being her and her brother. Her table lamp was her only source of light, but she brought out a smile and went in deeper on the detailing.
“Oh Jack, the times we’ve shared throughout the years, the suffering we’ve endured, nothing will break our bond.” She let out a deep sigh and paused on her drawing.
That’s right, but compared to you and I, I can’t seem to remember much of my early life. But… why?
The pencil in her hand started trembling as it stood still on her own face.
“Why can’t I remember these concepts of having parents and not being able to even define it when I was locked away from society.”
Angela let out a weak chuckle. How humorous, yet it still didn’t bother me until I met ‘Him’ Hmph.
She started applying pressure to the pencil, wanting to snap it in half. “Forever how long I had my memories retained, all I could think of was darkness, solitude, being confined by endless empty emotions throughout my early empty childhood. But—”
She frowned and set the pencil down.
“All that changed one day when He took me in when I was alone, his name being Dr. Cato. When he did take me in, instead of understanding such trivial concepts of hospitality and parenthood, the place he made my new found home brought the worst of me.”
Angela stared at her table lamp for a moment then slapped it away, letting it fall on the floor and breaking the only light source in the room. I fell into a deep depression, at an early age thought of self harming for countless hours, weeks, months, and with all these twisted selfish thoughts swirling around me, pouring into the darkened mind created a conclusion…
The girl pulled her sleeve up and grabbed her pencil again, tapping the tip against her wrist.
“That being the most selfish idea, action a human can commit, that being suicide, and this was made by my tiny six year old mind.”
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Stopping her action of tapping, Angela stared at the ceiling and pulled out her phone, turning the flashlight feature on. She put her phone against some books to give her proper lighting on her drawing so she can continue. Angela’s eyes turned dim, she grabbed and hovered her pencil over herself on the drawing, staring at her own face in gloom.
What made, forced, a little ol girl like me to think of such horrendous thoughts?
Angela brought out a broken giggle and the edges of her eyes started building up her inner sorrow. “Easy, it was the countless bullying, physical, verbal abuse that I had to endure from everyone else who were there in that place too. From the staff, to the kids, security, and the other ill, all were cruel to me because of something I supposedly did without my knowing.”
She continued on her drawing and her eyes were hidden away from the shadow of her bangs. But it was enough to call me the devil, monster, murderer, abomination, every single word that you can think of defining a being of cruelty was laid upon me. Though I always thought to myself, was it because I’m a little different than everyone else?
Angela stopped drawing again and looked at herself in the portrait, realizing she changed her own face from the eyes and hair. “Or was it because of… Her?”
She brushed aside the change, continued onward on her drawing, biting her lip and squinting her eyes beneath the shadow of her bangs. She finished herself on the drawing even though she changed her eyes and hair, making it longer, now she has one person left to finish her ultimate masterpiece, that being her loving brother.
Seeing him in the drawing almost complete brought out a soft smile and undimmed her eyes. She sniffed, wiped her eyes and fully concentrated on her brother.
As I got older and studied more about the full concept of having parents, I still questioned myself why I can’t remember them fully, nor have a caring reason for their existence. But; It’s complicated, my life, but I’ve hung in there throughout the years, haven’t I?
She smiled more as she detailed her brother and tilted her head to ensure he came out greater than herself.
“I’m glad to be alive now, especially being by the side of two loving guardians named Uncle Randolph and Uncle Eric. Both guys are funny, and showed me love, prosperity, and the beauty that is life.”
Angela drifted her hand across Jack on the drawing, making her eyes twinkle.
“Though their love could never come close to the comprehension for my love of the one person who saved my life from that hell, took me out of the grips of death… And the person who claimed me as a sibling, and that person being my dearest brother, Jack Samr.”
Angela finished her entire drawing showing herself and Jack holding hands with a giant beautiful tree behind them as a field of flowers bloomed in front of them. Both siblings were looking into each other's eyes and above the image had a message written on top of it.
To the one person I’ll only love as long as I live, my loving brother Jack Samr.
Her bottom lip quivered and she started crying. She covered her face as she basked in the wonderful piece of her amazing craftsmanship but also shared the emotions of all of her burdened sorrow.
Outside, an owl hooted as rose petals hurtled past it, flying into the moonlight. The owl flew into the light and disappeared.
I love you and I hope one day I can return my gratitude to you for everything you’ve done for me, but for now let’s live out our youth the best as possible, even if your mind is not at the right place. I’ll be sure to fix you right up. Until then, take care of my loving brother, Jack.
TO BE CONTINUED IN VOLUME 3…