Chapter 1 - Alvina

Alvina stared at herself in the mirror. Scrutinising her reflection in the vain hope that everything would change back to how it had been. She tightened her fingers around the roundness of one of her cheeks. This face was soft, angular and pale. Her eyes were now green, not brown. She also had braided brown locks, so light they bordered on blonde, instead of her short cut dark brunette. She took it all in, but couldn't bear to look below the neck again.

She contemplated sinking her fine cut nails into this beautiful face and ripping off the mask she had been forced to wear. But she knew it'd do her no good, rather she'd be healed up before being punished. Maybe she should do something more drastic? Irreversible? Twinkling emeralds stared back at her, trembling from side to side, as she contemplated such a drastic course of action. Her fingers on her cheek tensed, leaving slight red markings in their wake.

She wasn't sure she could do it, but what was the alternative? To live like this? A prisoner to this monster, a prisoner to this body? Before her thoughts could get much deeper a knock signalled someone coming in. She quickly folded her hands on her lap, facing the doorway. A woman with the same features as her, but aged 20 or so years entered.

"Good morning my dear," she said softly and caring. The woman was anything but, though Alvina knew she had to stay in character.

"Good morning, Mother," Alvina responded with a practised smile. To anyone else, they would have seen the grimness and disgust in Alvina's eyes, but the older woman ignored it.

"Mmm. That's how a daughter should be." the woman murmured as she walked into Alvina's personal space. She caressed the younger woman's cheek. "You're not going to deny I'm your Mother any more, sweetheart?" Alvina gulped before smiling shakily, the punishment from the previous day's denials still fresh in her mind. She was impressed with herself that she managed to suppress her flinch.

"Of course not, Mother. I just have problems remembering sometimes."

"I know you do honey. That's why we have our sessions together. To help you remember." Alvina wanted to gag whenever the woman gave her endearments. She hadn't lost any of her memory but this woman was convinced she had.

"Now, breakfast is ready for you and after that, we can get on with the day's lessons." She pulled Alvina's head to her chest, hugging her and stroking her hair. "Okay?"

"Okay." the younger woman choked out. Her fear spiked as she was dragged into the hug but to try and deny the woman would only make things worse.

"I'll see you downstairs." With that, the woman kissed Alvina on the forehead and went to leave. "Oh," she said turning around.

"I think you'd look good in the baby blue dress today." With a smile, she left the room. Alvina wanted to throw up. She wanted to scream and rage but fear of punishment kept her from it. Ending it all was very appealing.

She went to bite her nails in nervousness, but before she could her training kicked in and she sat up straight, refolding her hands. That she had done as trained, like a puppy, made her all the angrier. The depths of her depression set aside she thought on the past. Only a few weeks ago life was looking up, then the world went to shit.

Alvina Meda had previously gone by the name Reyner Hughes. A male office worker. It was a simple job of logging data, but it kept him occupied. He was estranged from his family; they just gradually fell out of contact and before he knew it, they hadn't spoken in years. He lived from month to month, slowly saving to one day buy his own home. And this was how he lived his adult life. It was quiet and uneventful but Reyner was content with that.

Then six weeks ago a swirling mass of energy appeared in his home whilst he lay on his couch reading. He was frozen with fear at the sinister-looking swirl of dark purple and black, his fingers clenching so tightly that the paper cover tore. The room's atmosphere plummeted in temperature. When he finally went to move he found his body frozen still.

He could only watch in horror as a slender hand reached down from the energy and buried itself in his chest. It didn't pass seamlessly through the skin; instead, it carved away at his chest. He couldn't move but felt everything. Time seemed to pass slowly as his flesh parted and his nerves screamed. But he could do nothing.

Within his chest, he felt as the hand grasped, not around his heart, but something else. An ache echoed through every part of his being as his eyes struggled to see what was happening. As the hand withdrew it pulled out what looked like translucent film. It wasn't something he'd ever heard of, yet he could feel it was inexplicably connected to him. The more it was tugged out, the more sensations of feeling he lost. His hands and feet, then his arms and legs. He was getting dizzy headed and with a final sharp pull, he felt the film disconnect and he blacked out.

He awoke in a very pink room, surrounded by pillows and soft toys. He felt strange though and, sitting up, he saw why. In the mirror opposite, mimicking his movements, was a young woman, no more than 20 years old. 

She learned in time that his 'Mother' as she called herself, had finally fixed her. This strange woman was so convinced Reyner was her Alvina, and no amount of pleading changed that. The woman sought to control every part of Alvina, and stubbornness on her part was not tolerated. The weeks passed by in a blur of strange lessons with the woman. From how she should dress, to how she should smile, and refusal was not an option. That was the most important lesson. Refusal led to pain and anguish. She still occasionally did refuse on reflex, though it was much less frequent now.

Alvina pulled herself out of her mind before going to the cupboard and pulling out the blue dress her 'Mother' had referenced. She stripped off her pink pyjamas before looking at herself in the mirror, feeling disgusted with herself. This bulging chest wasn't hers, the shoulders were too narrow, the arms and legs too short and thin. It was all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

To add to her disgust and shame was the nappy she had been having to wear. Her urethra muscles worked differently when she was male, and she lacked bladder control. And today was no different. She slid off the stained cloth, cringing as the sound of its wetness hit the floor. Alvina grabbed a towel and dampened it in the bedside bowl of water, before wiping herself off. She then pulled out another nappy and slid it on. Until her 'Mother' said otherwise, she'd wear these things. 

One day she'd thought refusal to be a good idea, her 'Mother' wouldn't know as a nappy was hidden. That was until she urinated on the couch. The older woman had been furious and lifted her off the couch, forcing Alvina to kneel before it. She then proceeded to push the younger woman's head into the mess soaking the cushion.

"You'll learn that what Mother tells you is for your own good."

In addition to being painfully handled, Alvina had her face rubbed in her own urine. It was degrading and dehumanising. Tears were abundant but the older woman didn't let up for about 10 minutes. And when she did, she put Alvina in her lap and rocked her soothingly. She asked if Alvina was going to be a good girl, and Alvina promised and swore through her sobs.

At this point, more than a month after living in this body, Alvina thought she'd have control of when she had to pee at least. But fear and night terrors, in addition to the foreignness of her vessel, kept her from making progress.

She used the towel to wrap up her damp diaper, placing in her laundry bin in her room. Alvina then pulled the dress over her body. It was short-sleeved and frilly, reaching just above her knees. Reaching into her bedside drawer, she pulled out a pair of full white tights, gently pushing her feet in the rolled-up fabric, before unfurling them up her legs. Finally, she put on Mary Jane style shoes, which were black with a butterfly patterned on the toes. 

Alvina looked at herself in the mirror, looking like a brown-haired, green-eyed Alice in Wonderland. Looking up to her face, she saw redness and moisture. She wiped them with her pyjamas, whilst sniffling, before putting the clothes in the laundry bin. As she reached the door and took the handle, she could feel her hands quaking. She pulled them back, clenching and unclenching them, before rubbing them on the sides of her dress. Closed eyes and a few deep breaths later, she took the handle once more and pulled it down, pushing the door open.

Her 'Mother' wouldn't wait for long, and it was always better to meet her expectations. Plastering the best doll-like smile she could muster on her face, she stepped out into the hallway to face another day in this hell. Her thoughts went to dark places this morning, and she wondered how long it would be before she either broke or killed herself.

 Chapter 2 - Breaking

Alvina had learned that her mother liked to sit at the head of the stretched table. So Alvina sat at the tail end, at least five metres from the older woman. She waited anxiously for Mother to appear and fidgeted with her hands under the table whilst slouching.

"Sit up straight, Alvina." a crisp voice said from the side. Alvina reacted on her training and sat up stiff as a board. Her eyes glanced to her mother, who was now smiling at her. "Well done. Now, what are you doing all the way down there baby girl? I've got a special seat for you next to me." Alvina's eyes were drawn to the chair her mother pulled out from under the table, holding it like a gentleman would for his lady. Instead of burgundy leather with wooden frames, it was a sunshine yellow, with a semi-circular wooden frame for the armrests. 

Alvina rose mechanically and walked over to the chair, keeping her gaze averted from her ever grinning mother. Once sat, her mother pushed her back in so her knees were under the table before sauntering off to get their breakfast. 

Once free of her mother's presence Alvina began to panic. Normally her mother let her sit where she please so long as she ate sensibly and acted 'good'. Was this some new kind of training? What's the purpose? What's going to happen? Her palms became clammy and she rubbed furiously on her tights at the knees. She heard her mother coming back and stopped, sitting up straight once more. 

"Here you go darling, some lovely porridge." The woman's smile seemed to sparkle. Were it not for the punishments Alvina probably would have believed the act. The bowl was set down in front of her, as her mother took the chair next to her. Alvina looked down and realised a problem.

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"Uh..um...Mother, I don't have a spoon." There was an innocent lilt to her voice, something she knew always put her mother in a good mood. 

"Aren't you adorable?" the woman cooed, her green eyes lighting up in joy. "But today, my little Vina, Mother is going to feed you." She scooted round to sit side by side, before scooping a spoonful, blowing on it and hovering it in front of Alvina's mouth. "Ah." Alvina's gaze looked at her mother who was sighing in a feigned exacerbation.

"Silly Mother." She knocked on her head before pulling a cloth from her pocket. "We mustn't forget our bib. We don't want your lovely dress to get dirty do we?" She gave Alvina a little pinch on the cheek, before tucking the cloth into her collar. Alvina's heart was thumping at the woman's actions. She didn't understand the angle.

"There we go. Now, say 'Ahhh'." It was ridiculous and mortifying and Alvina tried to convince herself that she shouldn't. But a gleam in her mother's eye made it clear she had no choice.

"Ahhhh." She had to hold the note a few seconds before her mother put the spoon in the mouth. As she slushed the porridge around her mouth, her mother played with a brown curl falling by her temple. She kept a laser focus on the older woman's hand, afraid that the mood would suddenly change and she'd be hurt. It was about 10 minutes before Alvina finished all of her meal.

"Such a good girl." her mother said as she leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek, before taking the dish away. When she was alone, Alvina licked the bottom of her dress, before wiping her face, focusing heavily on her cheek. Mother's touch made her feel dirty.

Unfortunately for Alvina, her mother had been watching her through a magic mirror in the kitchen. Her look darkened as she watched the actions of her little angel. She shook her head in disappointment, knowing that her baby needed another punishment. She was putting her all into being a good mother, but her daughter didn't seem to appreciate her efforts. The nice approach wasn't working today. Sometimes her darling could be so confusing, hot and cold to her mother's affections. She smiled as she went and sat back down beside Alvina.

"Okay there, baby girl?"

"Yes, Mother." Alvina smiled back sweetly.

"Well that's wonderf....what's this sweetie?" her mother asked, gesturing to the slightly off colour part of the dress. Alvina panicked, and her mother saw the worry flash across her face.

"It's just a little damp, Mother," Alvina said, smoothing out the fabric.

"Well, let Mother have a look."

"Mother, it's oka-"

"Let Mother have a look baby girl." The tone of her voice was more severe and Alvina dropped her head, pushing her chair out from under the table. Her mother took the fabric between her fingers. "How did this get wet honey?"

"It...er...." Alvina was flustered. She didn't know what a good excuse was. "I was licking some porridge that fell on my dress." 

"Really?" her mother asked gently, catching her chin between her thumb and index finger. Their eyes met and Alvina swallowed heavily. "Because I would hope that my little girl wasn't lying to me. Lying is bad and needs to be punished." The older woman could feel the body of her daughter shaking and internally sighed. 

"Why is this damp, Alvina?"

"B-b-because I licked it." 

"And why did you do that?"

"So I could clean my face." Alvina hung her head dejectedly.

"I see. Your cheek is a bit red. Why did you clean only that one darling?" Terror was all Alvina felt at that moment. If she told the truth she would be punished, but if she lied and her mother knew then she'd be hurt even more.

"I..I..I..." she stuttered. Her mother leaned in close to her face.

"Little Vina, did you not like my kiss?"

"I...I'm sor-" 

SLAP!

Alvina was knocked off her chair and to the floor from the force of the hit. She groaned as she held her cheek, tears appearing in her eyes.

"Wuoooh." Tasting iron in her mouth, she spat out and noticed she was bleeding. Shakily she got on her knees and looked at her mother, who had an arctic expression.

"Now, baby girl, what are we going to do?" her mother asked rhetorically to the room. Alvina began to curl up into herself but her hair was grabbed harshly and pulled up and she stammered to her feet. They both stood, her mother's face so close she could feel her breath. Before anything else was said, her mother stormed off, pulling Alvina along by her hair. She was sobbing and pressed down on her mother's hand with her own to try and stop the pain. She stumbled after her mother as she was hunched over. 

From where she was, Alvina could only see her mother's feet and the steps she took. She had no idea where they were going, and fear welled up in her stomach. As they walked, she could feel dampness between her thighs and it was beginning to run down her legs. But she couldn't focus on the humiliation at that moment, too lost in being scared.

Soon, wood flooring changed to tiles and Alvina was thrown to the floor of the bathroom. She didn't dare look up but heard the taps being turned on. 

"Stand up." She did so. "Strip." Alvina fumbled and kicked off her shoes and removed all her clothing save her nappy. "Fully, Alvina." The stern tone made her remove the last thing that kept her from complete nakedness.

"Good, now get in the bath. You're filthy." She quietly got in, still not looking up. Her sobs had stopped but she was still sniffling and had a headache coming on. She watched acutely as the water rose past her toes, her knees and her thighs until it was level with her belly-button. Having something to focus on centred her. She was lost to the world until she heard something get into the water behind her.

Alvina's eyes snapped up as she felt a pair of legs move either side of her, and a pair of breasts push up against her back. She didn't move a muscle, going completely rigid. 

"Okay, baby girl. You don't like Mother's touch?" It was whispered gently into her ear and it made a chill run down Alvina's spine. A soft kiss behind her ear made her want to run but two arms locked around her waist. "That's okay. Mother will help you." The older woman smiled into her neck and Alvina closed her eyes praying that she was mistaken. The kisses continued and one of the hands holding her cupped her breast gently, rubbing it and squeezing the nipple. 

Alvina held her bile down. Her eyes deadened and her mind seemed to cut off from her body as the fingers, on the other hand, crept lower and lower, dipping beneath the water. As they met her soft entrance, Alvina's mind had already hidden away. The next 40 minutes were a blur of whispers and praises. When she came to, she was back in her bed with her mother spooning her.

"Mother...." she croaked.

"Yes dear?" her mother pressed her chest against her back.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"Of course." her mother smiled. "Don't take too long, I'll be here waiting." Alvina nodded and her mother released her. Alvina walked in a controlled manner, shutting the bathroom door behind her, and stopping in the middle of the room. She was attacked by sensations and emotions of revulsion towards Mother and towards herself. She heaved and was then emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Her mother had come in at some point and was rubbing her back soothingly, which caused Alvina to cry and sob.

"Awww, is my little baby girl sick?" She pulled Alvina up by her arms, before hoisting the near limp body into a princess carry. She put her under the covers before getting in beside her and spooning her again. "Go to sleep darling, you'll feel better when you wake up."

15 minutes later she heard her mother's soft breathing level out, but sleep didn't come for Alvina that day.

 Chapter 3 - Through The Years

After the incident, Alvina rarely crossed her mother. She rarely did anything at all unless she was told to. And her mother revelled in it. She believed her touch had fixed Alvina, that it had made her the compliant, little girl she had been so many years ago. So, such touching became a regular thing.

Alvina felt the weight of depression from what she had been forced to undergo. She developed a fear of mirrors, she never wanted to see looked like. Her mind had numbed from the actions of her mother. She had already been on the precipice and she'd been pushed over. She twice tried to take her life within the next 3 months, only to learn her mother had put an enchantment on her, preventing her from serious harm or death. 

She was forced to endure and resign herself to her vessel and what her mother did to her. Numbness was all she seemed to feel, which became more acute as the years rolled by. The only thing that replaced some of it was sexual gratification, which her mother gave to her regularly and religiously. Orgasms are a physical response to stimuli and, over time, her mother learned exactly how to drive her to that point.

Shame, self-hatred, disgust and many other feels whirled through her mind. That the monster called Mother was her only source of feeling anything positive made her sick.

She would spend most her days lying in bed, under the tender care of her mother, who seemed to enjoy having a doll to play with. She'd dress her, bathe her, feed her. Whatever she could do for her daughter she did, all the while whispering praises into her ear.

There was no escape, no reprieve, only resignation and surrender to what was happening. 

As time passed, Alvina's mind warped and changed to protect itself, to grasp onto some happiness. She began to revert, not to how she was as child Reyner, but instead how she envisioned child-Alvina. As child-minded Alvina, she was able to lessen her mother's actions; the woman was content to have her baby back. Though on occasion she still subjected Alvina to her touch, she felt it wasn't needed as much. 

But even as Alvina changed, her eyes never regained the spark all life once had. The smiles remained empty but came much easier. Her mind took on an innocence all children possess, finding joy in simple things. Embarrassment and loathing were buried far away, letting her act without shame. She was her mother's good girl.

In her childish mind, Alvina came to love her mother and all the things she did for her. She didn't like punishments but understood mommy did it because she loved her little Vina. 

In time Alvina learned to use her magic. Her mommy taught her and showered her with praise, which made Alvina very happy. The older woman also taught her about the bad people, who would want to take Alvina from her mommy, and gave Alvina a special ring for protection.

Her mother felt a feeling of completeness with her daughter. She had finally returned to the joyful little girl she had once been. She completely owned the girl's mind, body and soul. But she knew that the Magus Institute had been searching for her since she enacted the Soul Ripping spell. And she knew from her informants that they were very slowly closing a net around her.

So she taught her daughter about safety and the strange people that would separate them. Seeing her daughter's tearful and indignant face, that they couldn't take 'Vina from mommy', melted her heart.

She was a true genius at magic, and when the 10th year of having her little girl returned came and went, she realised she'd gotten far more time with her baby than she ever thought possible. But she knew their time was coming to an end and she had to make a decision. Was she to perish with her baby girl or die defending her? Alvina couldn't survive without her, but she'd put so much effort into bringing her back and remaking her to how she had been. 

She'd defend her daughter to the death; so could she be the very one to end her? She didn't have long to decide and knew she should make the choice soon. But time passed so very quickly with her daughter. Her laughter, her smiles, her gasps and groans; they all belonged to her. Her begging, her sadness, her pleas and tears; they also belonged to her. Every part of her baby girl was hers but she felt mournful that her death would also be hers. 

It was the right thing to do, yet her maternal feelings held her back from acting on it. So she held onto hope that her information was wrong, trying to gain each second she could with her daughter. Life continued on and for another few years, nothing changed.

She counted each day as a blessing, replaying them on a continual loop in her mind.

And on the 14th year, the 6th month and the 12th day that she had brought her daughter back, they found them.

"Who's outside mama?" Alvina asked as she curled into her mother. She'd felt pulses of energy hitting the house shields.

"No one dear." her mother replied with a gentle smile. "Just rest, and when you wake up it will all be over." Alvina tilted her head, not understanding her mother's words. "Now go to sleep, we can have ice-cream tomorrow."

"Yay! I want vanilla." Alvina giggled before burying herself deeper into her mother's side. "Night night mama."

"Good night, my little Vina."