PHOENIX

Phoenix felt light. She shuffled as her consciousness became more aware, her hazy senses taking in the area around her. She moved her body to lay on her back, and her eyes locked with a pair of deep blue eyes, sunny yet misty as a morning sun on a winter season.

The woman beamed at her, tears erupting from her eyes. They sparkled underneath the morning dawn.

“Where am I?” Phoenix sat up and, surprisingly, the heaviness of a broken body she expected was not there.

“You’re in my dream. I’ve brought you here.” Phoenix scanned the world around her, confusion swirling in her mind. Everything seemed more vivid than she would have expected of a dream. However, the serenity was unmistakable—from the still water and the gentle breeze to the chirping birds. She must be dreaming.

Phoenix glanced at her body. No signs of bruises or cuts. If she even looked closely, her skin was somewhat translucent. She pinched herself. Made sure to even dig her nail in. She felt pressure, but it wasn’t painful.

Her eyebrows scrunched as she focused her attention on her chest, seeking for a tingling sensation. This method usually worked when she wanted to wake up from a dream or nightmare. Nothing happened.

Phoenix sensed an airy touch on her cheek, sending a shiver down her spine. She recoiled and turned away from the strange woman.

With her own two hands, she slapped herself. Nothing.

“This feels too real,” she mumbled.

A chuckle sounded from her side. Despite knowing this wasn’t reality, the woman’s timely reaction gave Phoenix a bit of embarrassment.

“Phoenix.” The woman smiled, her tears dissipated when she blinked. “Do you recognize me?”

“No. I…” Phoenix’s words trailed off as she studied the woman’s features. Her eyes were different, her hair was different, even her facial features were slightly different, but her smile, that expression had a comforting familiarity. Phoenix’s head spun.

“What gift did you give me on my 18th birthday?”

“A necklace. An orange sapphire. Sapphire because it’s your birthstone and orange because they remind me of your eyes.”

Phoenix held her breath and asked, “Lilianna?”

As if a dam had burst, emotions flooded the woman’s face. Her eyes brimmed with tears once more. Her hand reached for Phoenix’s and she murmured, “it’s me… it’s me.”

Phoenix’s back stiffened; her mind twisted and turned as she looked at the woman in front of her. She looked so different. Why?

Unable to see Lilianna crying, even as a figment of her imagination, Phoenix reached out, stroking Lilianna’s back in an attempt to comfort her. Countless questions filled her mind. How did she know her birthstone? Phoenix didn’t even know what that was.

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This version of Lilianna appeared lifelike, even forming sentences she had no information on. Phoenix didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise, so she went along with what Lilianna previously said.

“I don’t understand. Why pull me into this dream?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you,” Lilianna scooted closer so that their arms touched. Phoenix could feel the subtle pressure of their skin touching, but something about it felt light, as if she wouldn’t feel any pain if the woman decided to twist her hand.

“About what?”

“I don’t know… just normal things.” Lilianna gazed at the luminous koi fish drifting in the pond.

“How are you? What have you been doing? How’s my family? Anything.” Lilianna pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around it. Her wispy white dress moved along, fireflies finding solace on her shoulders.

She looked like a Goddess.

Phoenix pretended she was talking to the real Lilianna. Perhaps this was what she needed to get closure. “Your parents are doing fine, Isaac got married and I… I don’t know. I’m just living, I guess.”

Lilianna gazed at the firefly resting on her finger, absorbed in her thoughts. She had a smile on her face, but her eyes showed melancholy. “I see…”

“What about you? Since when did you get your hair done?” Phoenix asked and Lilianna chuckled. She was actually serious about that question.

“I feel like I was close to going insane.” Lilianna flopped down on the bed, the fireflies scattered around her.

“You were close to going insane?”

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Lilianna looked up at the canopy, her hands placed gently on her stomach. Phoenix laid down beside her and stared at the white, fluttery canopy above the bed along with the reddish pink sky above them.

“Phoenix.”

“Yes?”

“Do you believe in free will?”

“What?”

Lilianna shifted her position so that she was now laying sideways and facing Phoenix. “If you find yourself one day in a body that you can’t control at all, what would you do?”

“I’d think I’m dreaming.”

“If it keeps happening to you for years?”

“That’s not possible.”

Lilianna returned to her original position, her blond hair draping over her head.

“I didn’t believe it either. When my soul merged with a new body, I didn’t even realize it. It took me years to even remember who I was, but sometimes I think I shouldn’t have realized at all. I might have my memories back, but I still couldn’t do anything about it. I’ve never felt so powerless.”

How was this dream Lilianna able to say something so complex she couldn’t wrap her mind around it? The feeling of Phoenix’s stomach sinking grew stronger.

“What do you mean?” Phoenix’s mind and intuition wrestled inside her. There was no way any of this could be real— but how was everything so detailed? Her eyes constantly searched for signs of inconsistencies, but she hadn’t found any. What on Earth was this place?

Lilianna let out a sigh.

“I can’t go home, Phoenix. I’m stuck in a different world.” Her last words sounded distant, as if someone had instantly torn them apart. The world around them melded together, forming a dizzying swirl of colors.

Phoenix's chest vibrated, its sensation rapidly increasing in intensity. Along with it, her emotions spiraled out of her control.

Confusion, elation, longing, guilt, and disbelief churned within her, each fighting to take over her racing mind.

She clutched at her chest as the vibrating intensified.

Her ears rang. In the midst of an explosion of noise, she heard the clear and steady beeping of an ECG machine.

The amalgamation of colors painted an image of a hospital room. On the bedside was a bouquet of sunflowers.

Everything disappeared.

A moment of nothingness ensued. Then, Phoenix plummeted into an endless abyss.