11: Existentialism

Mark found himself unable to sleep, tossing and turning in his bed in a vague attempt to find the best position, but sleep seemed to elude him. He ended up sighing and sitting up.

For some reason, his mother's words kept swirling in his head for no apparent reason. Why did it matter? Why did he care about what she thought of him or his actions?

Mark looked at the palms of his hands, pondering another question somewhat related. Why didn't he kill Omni-Man in Flaxan? He could have done it, not at the beginning, of course; at that time, he was still too weak. But later, when the man finished teaching him what he knew, when he trained him to become stronger, much stronger.

When he was sure that even without the speed force, he could have a chance to win.

Why, then, didn't he deal with the problem at its root?

He could give a thousand excuses, say that it was better to have him as an ally, say that he might have useful information about the Viltrumite Empire, that killing him was less useful, pretend that his thinking was logical and pragmatic, but none of that was true.

The reality was that deep down, he knew that his will had been waning.

How many years did he spend in Flaxan? 10? 50? He didn't want to calculate it, but during that time, he had been dealing with a persistent annoyance.

"Why do you keep coming to me?" he spoke to the air; there was no hallucination, no imaginary image or ghost.

He simply spoke to those stupid memories that kept coming to his mind without him being able to do anything to stop them.

Mark, the original Mark, was still there, perhaps not in the same way a living person would be, or a soul. Calling him a remnant wouldn't be incorrect, but saying that was all he was would be underestimating him.

What makes up a person's being? Isn't it their experiences? Their memories? So if he had the body and memories, did that make him equal to Mark? Or was he less just because he also had the memories of another person?

"It's been a while since I had an existential crisis" Mark rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was during an exhausting day in Flaxan that he began to reflect on himself, where doubts began.

What should he choose? Embrace these memories and live with them, thus fully accepting his life in this world?

Or reject it and seek a way to get rid of the ties and feelings of the original Mark?

He looked at a poster on his wall with the image of Omni-Man flying in the skies with his fist raised.

"Soon, huh..." Whatever his choice, he would know it after the funeral of the Guardians, once he heard what his father had to say, he would know what to do.

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"You look tired, man" William looked at him with concern, noticing his tired face.

"I haven't slept at all. I've been questioning my existence and place in the universe. Why are we here, William?"

At the question, William blinked in confusion.

"Um, did you accept the offer from those weird kids in the hallway? Drugs aren't the way, brother."

Mark sighed.

He shook his head and looked at the crowded school halls, normal boys and girls living their day-to-day lives without worries, unaware that at any moment, a bunch of space Nazis would fall from the sky bringing them "Freedom."

In hindsight, he didn't envy them as much anymore.

"Hey, Will, have you ever thought about the consequences of your actions?"

William furrowed his brow.

"First of all, don't call me Will! Secondly... maybe? I've done things without thinking, and when everything went to hell, I regretted it. But other times, things turned out really well, and everything was great... what I'm saying is, why think so much about the actions you take if in the end, you don't know if it'll turn out good or bad? You get me? I'm just saying, we can't control our future; it's like a game of chance. We can only choose and hope everything turns out great, and if everything goes wrong, just face it"

Mark pondered it; that seemed to make some sense. Had he been overthinking things too much? But at the same time, he remembered who he was now and the power he held in his hands. His actions weren't as simple as choosing to sneak out of the house to go to a party or stealing a dollar from his mom's wallet.

Unlike Will, he couldn't afford to play games of chance; he already had his cards dealt and had to use them to win with absolute certainty.

But maybe Will was right about one thing, no matter what happens, he must face it.

"You're not so bad after all" he patted Will's shoulder, making him look at him strangely.

They entered the classroom and parted ways, each going to their seats.

Mark sat down without paying much attention, debating whether he could take a short nap.

"Are you okay?" the familiar voice made him turn; Eve looked at him from the side. He had forgotten they sat together in biology class.

"Do I look that bad?" Mark rubbed his face.

"Like a panda. Did you not sleep well? I heard from Robot that you worked on something together yesterday. Did something important happen?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual stuff. A guy from another dimension came by for a stroll, and Robot thought Flaxan had returned for revenge" Mark said absentmindedly.

"Since we're not in the middle of a war, I'll assume everything ended well."

Mark waved his hand.

"Well, we're friends, I guess. He'll probably come to visit later, but that's not why I'm tired"

Mark looked at Eve, thinking that maybe a girl could help solve one of his current problems.

"Tell me, what do you think about casual relationships?"

His question seemed to catch her off guard, and she looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"You know I'm still dating Rex, right?"

Mark laughed.

"Of course, the guy is an idiot, but not stupid enough to leave you over a misunderstanding. He knows you're too good for him."

Eve wanted to be a little offended on Rex's behalf, but she couldn't find any arguments that would help him.

"I mention it because I met this girl, and I think she likes me, and I kinda like her too, but I don't want to get into anything serious with her, you know? I might sound like a jerk, but I just want to have some fun. Does that sound stupid?"

Having dealt with Rex for so long, Eve didn't feel as offended as other girls might have been by Mark's words.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't say that in front of her if I were you, at least not in those words. If you just want something casual, why don't you just tell her that? If she accepts, then what's the problem?"

Eve didn't have much experience in relationships. Rex wasn't the boyfriend of the year; he hadn't even been a decent boyfriend for a long time. On the other hand, her parents weren't the best example to follow either. She wasn't sure if her advice was right, but she felt like the situation wasn't too complicated either.

"That was the plan from the beginning; I just forgot to tell her earlier. I'm afraid now she might be getting her hopes up, expecting more from this, and I'll have to be the bad guy who hurts her feelings"

This was his mother's fault. If it had been earlier, he wouldn't have felt so bad, but the original Mark wasn't a shit person, not at the same level he had been in his first life.

This was another of his problems: morality. Remembering how he had been raised by Debbie had made his words have more effect on him than he initially thought.

Eve frowned as she listened to him.

"It's not your fault that she expects more from you" her words came out a bit sharper than she intended. Mark turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. She blushed a little and cleared her throat.

"I mean, you don't have to meet other people's expectations. Just do what you think is right" she let out some of her irritation unintentionally; she didn't like it when other people wanted to dictate what you did with your life. It was annoying and one of the reasons she somewhat hated her parents.

"What I think is right, huh?" Well, the last time he did that, an entire civilization ended up dying, so he didn't know if it was a good choice.

'But that's not entirely my fault...'

"You know what? You and Will are right. Screw it, I'll do it my way, and if it doesn't work, then I'll accept it"

He would have to talk things out seriously with Amber. if she got angry? Well, he would accept it like a man and look for another way to get laid.

It's not like this world lacked beautiful women.

"Thanks, Eve, for that you are the best Girl" he raised a thumbs up, making her look at him with confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

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Classes had finished, and it was time to head home. Mark wondered if he should go out on patrol; he was a Hero after all. But he didn't exactly know how to do that without ending up flying all over the place until something interesting happened. Perhaps he should ask Eve for advice on that or something.

As he walked out through the school gates, he couldn't help but gaze at the blue sky and take a deep breath. Oh, how he loved this place. While he enjoyed the clean air, a pair of slender arms hugged him from behind.

"Did you miss me?"

Mark smiled and turned around, almost returning the hug, but then he remembered his conversation with Eve and almost grimaced.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

"Hey, Amber"

Noticing something strange in his voice, she raised an eyebrow and backed away slightly.

"Is something wrong?"

Agh! Mark knew he would regret this later, but it was time to be a little honest.

He hoped Debbie would be satisfied now.

He took Amber by the arm and led her to a secluded spot where they could talk without interruptions.

"Listen, Amber, you're great, you're cute, and well, pretty attractive, but I can't give you what you're looking for"

He sighed and looked her in the eyes; she had stopped smiling a bit.

"I know you want to go out with me, but I... I can't have a serious relationship, you know, I—" How did he explain this? It seemed like Flaxan had seriously impaired his social skills in the dating department.

"Is it because you're invincible?"

Amber's words left him stunned for a moment.

"You know? Wait, how do you know?!"

Amber smiled a little embarrassedly.

"The other day I saw you on TV, you know, when those green aliens invaded. I recognized you because your mask had been broken a bit. I thought I was mistaken, but when I saw you again at school after that, I couldn't deny it, it was really you"

She fidgeted with her fingers, searching for the words to express how she felt.

"I think it's incredible, you know, how you fought so hard and pushed yourself, seeming so brave and daring. When you entered that portal, I almost felt like my heart stopped, and I truly felt relieved to see you again"

She looked at him and took his hand.

"I know being a hero is hard; you hear about it all the time, how they risk their lives, how they face monsters and villains every day. I thought I'd never have to deal with it. I never really saw myself as someone capable of bearing such a burden"

There had been many heroes who died in human history; once they departed, there was always a wife or husband, a son or daughter, some close relative or friend. They talked about how difficult it was, how their lives were never normal, how the heroic life had distanced them from normal life.

Amber hadn't been much interested in these things before, but she had seen some interviews and read some books.

Not long ago, she thought that wasn't what she wanted, that maybe she wasn't cut out to bear such burdens.

"I thought I was a normal girl and that I'd always remain one. Then I met you. Before you were invincible, and I quite liked you. It took me a while, but I gathered the courage to give you my number. Then I realized you were invincible, and I still wanted to go out with you. Despite everything, I like you, Mark. I know being a hero is a big responsibility; I know things won't be normal, and maybe they'll be hard, but still, I want to give it a try"

She squeezed his hand between hers.

"I don't know how this will end, but I don't want to miss the chance just because it's difficult. So let's just give it a try, okay?"

Mark looked at her; she was speaking very seriously. She was a good girl; she deserved better, but he wasn't something better.

"You know, I'm going to break your heart"

Since he had decided to be honest about his desires, he would be honest.

Amber laughed; her face blushed a bit.

"I know. I've heard that heroes often have to leave their families and friends behind quite often"

Despite saying that, she didn't let go of his hand.

"I might suddenly leave for real, you know? There are many things I have to take care of, many dangers I—" Mark couldn't finish speaking as she put her finger on his lips.

"Come on, Mark, I've made up my mind. If you don't want to try, you just have to say it"

She had already been clear; they might not have a normal relationship, but she wanted to see where this would go because she liked Mark and she liked invincible, both parts of him.

Mark looked into her eyes; since she agreed, then why hesitate?

He embraced her, pulling her closer.

"Just don't regret it"

Amber smiled.

"You only live once, right?"

He liked her even more; without hesitation, he kissed her. She was much more enthusiastic in returning the kiss and hugged him tightly.

"A-and you know, I have the house to myself" Amber stepped back and said with a flushed face.

Mark didn't need to be told twice.

(R18)

Spoiler: Cut scene

(R18 End)

Mark stood up and stretched, looking at the sunset through the window; it was about to be dusk. He glanced at Amber again in bed and decided she could spend the night here. He should bring her something to drink since she had lost a lot of fluids, and also some food for both of them.

He removed the wet sheets and did his best to clean her up; she wouldn't wake up soon, and when she did, he doubted she would have the energy to tidy herself up.

He ended up searching through her wardrobe and pulling out a clean blanket to cover her with.

Mark smiled; he felt quite relaxed, quite good.

So many years without this had truly sucked, but now that he was enjoying it again, it seemed like all his doubts and worries had suddenly diminished.

Life was too good to waste time thinking about nonsense.

"Tomorrow is the funeral for the Guardians, huh. Well, no matter what happens afterward, right now I feel pretty invincible, so bring it on"

Did he plant a flag? Maybe. Did he care? Not at this moment.

Let the future Mark worry about that.

The present one had a dinner to attend to.

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Note:

What did you think? I think I should add the "slice of life" tag to this; I know there are many great events in "Invincible," but most of them can be avoided by doing X or Y thing. I don't want to simply repeat the canon. At the same time, I don't want an empty story that just goes from major Event A to major Event B.

At the same time, I know there are other comics happening in the "Invincible" universe, but I'll be honest with you guys, I've only read the "Invincible" comic from Image Comics. Everything else I know from videos, spoilers, and wikis.

So, I'm not exactly sure if I'll be able to expand the "Invincible" universe and cover all its aspects, but I'll try a bit. Still, I won't force anything. If it's useful to make the story more incredible, then it will be there. If not... well, I'm not going to write about something that won't contribute anything.

Moving on to more pressing matters, NSFW. I've read many of your comments, messages, and suggestions. This is my first attempt in that area, and it was certainly difficult. This scene took me a lot of time to write, more than making an average chapter. So, I've decided to change that 40% to 10% or 15%, as it seems that the vast majority of you are here for the plot rather than the smut.

My fault, I started this story as something serious instead of the porn practice I planned it to be, haha. But I guess it's okay. Sometimes you look for copper and find gold.

I'll probably do some omakes or canon side-stories with more NSFW scenes just for practice, but those will be optional if I think they're not good enough to be in the official chapters. Quality over quantity, I suppose.

You know, any criticism and suggestions are welcome.

By the way... I have (P)atreon now! Also, Ko-fi is available with memberships. You can check whichever you prefer. For now, there's only one tier on each. I don't plan to divide rewards into levels; if you support me on the only tier available, you'll get all the rewards I can offer with my limited capacity.

If I add another tier, it will have the same rewards as the first one, just with a different price, as it would only be a symbolic higher donation.

If you prefer not to have a subscription, you can also give a one-time donation via Ko-fi. Every donation, regardless of the amount, I'll consider as a pseudo-monthly subscription, and you'll get early access to the chapters I write during that month.

Again, I want to clarify this, although it's already indicated in the tiers of and Ko-fi.

Early access means a minimum of 12 hours to a week before being publicly published on the various websites where I upload my stories.

At least two chapters per week or more.

Having said that, I'll also clarify one more thing: this story is free! All stories I upload publicly will always continue to be updated publicly and for free. I won't hide chapters behind paywalls. While those who donate and support will, as mentioned, have early access, chapters will still be released to the general public between 12 hours to a week after being written, edited, and translated.

So, if you don't have money or simply just want to read, don't worry. Unless something serious happens to me, updates will keep coming.

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