A blink.

A blink is all it takes and the office is gone and I am in The Realms. Taking stock of my newly acquired in-game body I realize I’m on one knee, with both hands on the ground on either side of my front foot. Realizing I’m not naked, I allow myself to chuckle with relief that I’m not running off to kill someone named Sarah before she can get laid...

Wait, how am I not naked? I never picked any gear. I thought to myself. I didn’t mind spawning in armor but I’d still like to know where it came from.

“I can answer that, sir.” came Alfred’s voice as he was suddenly standing beside me.

Oh yeah, he’s here. I thought to myself. Although, I guess it was thinking to him, too.

“That I am, sir.” he said, once again responding to my thoughts.

Having a psychic AI with me would take awhile to get used to.

So, where did the threads come from, Alfred?

“System assigned starting gear for a Rogue, sir.” came his very simple explanation. It made sense I guess, but some choice would have been nice. From what I could tell, it looked like basic clothing with a boiled leather chest-piece that just barely protected my vital organs.

“Now, we do need to select your starting weaponry.” he instructed, shifting gears.

Why wasn’t this part of Creation? Why wait till now?

“To allow players the opportunity to test weapons for themselves in the actual game world.” came his response. “Each weapons feels different, so it was decided that each player should try any weapon or weapons that may interest them before they choose their preferred style.”

So our beginning selection determines what weapons we can use later?

“Yes and no.” he explained. “Your initial selection determines your primary weapon skill. You can earn more primary weapon skills later, but you are required to use a trainer to receive them and they may also be restricted by class and other factors.”

He paused before continuing. “Secondary Weapon skills can be learned as well to augment your combat abilities, but the methods through which you gain those are not the same as other skills. For example, as a Rogue starting in the kingdom of the Gnomes, you receive Trick Weapons and Gadgets as bonus secondary weapon categories.”

Interesting, but not important right now I assume. Let’s get started.

After looking through and testing everything Alfred suggests, I narrow it down to a few options:

Longsword x2

Short Sword x2

Dagger x2

Longsword + Dagger

Rapier + Main Gauche

I tried going single weapon melee, but dual-wielding just felt right. Unfortunately, two long swords felt too long, two daggers felt like it just wouldn’t pack enough punch early on, and the thought of fighting a heavily armored opponent with a rapier just felt like it wouldn’t end well.

The only option that appealed to me in the end was dual short swords. After I officially received my basic swords and placed the sheaths on my back in an X, I took off towards the town.

Alfred, how do NPCs interact with you? I asked, not sure how to handle bringing him around with me talking to NPCs and fighting monsters.

“No one can see or hear me except you, sir.” he said. “Additionally, no one can physically interact with me and vice versa. Also, no one can see your side of our interactions. It is happening, as you might say, in your head.”

Well, that was good to know. I thanked him for the clarification right as we got to the gate.

“Welcome to Gnometheran, adventurer!” The guard exclaimed with a welcoming smile. “We were told to expect your kind to start appearing but I never expected to see a human in the Gnomish lands! Anything I can help you with?”

I know Gnomes are friendly, but I really didn’t expect such a warm welcome considering I’m a human AND a rogue. I said, somewhat shocked, in an aside to Alfred.

“Rogue does not equate to thief or criminal in this world, sir. And as for his question, I’d suggest looking for someone you can begin your training with.” I follow Alfred’s suggestion and was rewarded with my first quest in The Realms.

Rogue 1

Objective: Find the Rogue Mentor and request training.

Reward: 50 XP, Secondary Weapon

Accept: Yes/No

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

No-brainer I suppose. Yes.

“Well, looks like for the training you require, you’ll need to talk to El over at the Proving Grounds. I’ll mark where she

is on your map. She’s easy to spot in town, but remember if things start exploding around you, you went too far!” I thanked the guard and made my way into town. Not sure if he heard me though. He was still laughing at what I’m hoping was a joke.

Explosions? What the hell. Alfred?

“Gnomes are notorious Tinkerers and Artificers, sir. There’s likely a designated area for the Gnomes to test new inventions safely.”

Tinkerers and Artificers? Interesting.

As I approached the spot marked on my map, I realized just how easy El was to spot. “What the fuck’s an elf doing here?” A near-instantaneous 180-degree pivot on her part made me suddenly aware of the fact I’d said that out loud...oops.

“Do you have a PROBLEM with my race, HUMAN?”

Oh shit. This isn’t starting well. No Charisma score to leverage so this is all up to me. Since I didn’t have an in-game mechanic to rely on, I froze for some reason. Thankfully, Alfred was there to help.

“Pardon the intrusion, sir, but might I suggest an apologetic approach. Elves of The Realms tend to be unappreciative of Human efforts to be charming. They prefer directness.” Alfred’s input was definitely appreciated. While I wasn’t exactly going to try flirting my way out of this, I did have a tendency to lay it on thick when trying to get myself out of trouble with a woman.

Thanks for the help, Alfred. I definitely would have misspoken in that situation. Although in the future it’s probably best to let me learn the hard way.

“Very well, sir.”

A quick flare of little Elf nostrils reminded me I had a situation to contain. “Apologies, Miss...El I assume? I meant no disrespect to you or your people. It’s just that, other than myself, I haven’t seen any races other than Gnomes, so I was merely surprised to find I was reporting to an Elf.” I said hoping it didn’t sound like bullshit.

I let out a nearly imperceptible sigh of relief when her anger visibly faded. Unfortunately that relief disappeared as a near-predatory grin spread across her face as she said “Reporting to me? Guess I’m to train you? Oh this will be fun.”

I’d pissed off enough women in my day to realize that absolute terror was an acceptable thing to feel right now. I bet she can smell fear, too. Probably a special trait for female Elves.

As my mind filled with countless terrifying hypothetical scenarios involving Elvish torture disguised as “training,” El sized me up for a few moments before doing the one thing I never expected her to do. She started laughing.

I’m not sure if you could call it a belly laugh because she had nothing resembling a belly, but it was certainly heartfelt. Realizing the laugh was at my expense washed away any previous fears and replaced them with embarrassment and, well, anger. I felt my face begin to flush from the emotion and she must have seen it as well.

“I’m sorry. No need to get too hot over it. I just couldn’t help but mess with you.” she said with her hands up in a placating gesture. “It’s always fun to see how Adventurers react to things like that. Yesterday a Gnome pissed himself!” The memory was clearly a favorite of hers as she started laughing all over again.

Seeing as it was apparently all in good, harmless fun (and I clearly was going to be relying on her for training for now) I patiently waited on her to get the laugh out of her system and wipe away the few tears starting to form in her eyes. Thankfully, it gave me an opportunity to prod Alfred for info.

Alfred, what did she mean Adventurers?

“In-game lore refers to players as Adventurers. Unfortunately, I cannot give much more information than that regarding World Lore as you have not uncovered more of it yourself.” came his explanation.

So what you can tell me is limited? That’s unfortunate. I was torn between my disappointment I couldn’t find out now and my hatred of spoilers.

“Yes sir, and I do apologize for the inconvenience. Allowing Guides to tell Players everything about the lore would discourage them from discovering this information for themselves.” he continued. It did make sense from a design perspective.

Fair enough. Looks like El is calming down. Thanks, Alfred.

My guide nodded in response and I returned my attention to El. “So, you’re probably wondering why exactly an Elf is providing training in a Gnomish village. The answer is easy: If you want someone to be good, have them trained by someone who’s great.” she said, answering my unasked question. “Glad to see I’m training under someone with a firm grasp on humility.” I responded with a smirk.

Not sure if sarcasm exists in medieval fantasy settings. If it doesn’t I honestly don’t know how I’ll survive this adventure.

“Oh don’t worry I can teach you plenty of humility if you plan on keeping the smart-ass comments up like that.” she fired back with a wink. “Assuming you’re planning on losing the attitude, we can get started training. First, take a look at the weapons on the table over here and see if something catches your eye.”

Update!

Rogue 1

Choose your Secondary Weapon

Wow these are some weird ass weapons. As I approached the table I noticed a nervous looking Gnome watching me from a short ways away. Hope it’s poor social skills and not murderous intent. The killer “little person” trope is a bit played out. Deciding to hope he wasn’t a Murderous Mini Man, I slowly began looking over the table in front of me as I focused on each individual weapon until it’s information appeared in my vision.

Most sounded overly complex, entirely situational, or just downright weird. Mancatcher? What the hell is that? Looking down at the weapon the name belonged to brought my attention to what looked to me like pole with a spiky corset on the end that opened and closed somehow. I really thought it would be more self-explanatory.

“Well, sir, the name does adequately explain the device’s expected function.” Alfred deadpanned.

Is that British sass, Alfred? It’s so dry it’s hard to tell...

Alfred continued unfazed “Unfortunately, proficiency with this weapon is not automatic as it does not fall under your bonus for starting in the Gnomish region.”

And why the hell not? It’s on the table isn’t it?

“That is correct, sir. However, it is a weapon that relies on the leverage and weight of the wielder, which makes it a very poor choice for Gnomes.”

Oh that is a fantastic mental image. Thank you for that.

Before he could respond, the shy “Not-a-Nasty-Gnome” approached. What is it about this guy that lends itself to alliteration?

“E-excuse me, sir. I noticed you don’t use a umm... shield based style. If I may, I would suggest the A-arm Crossbow.” I gave the Gnome a bit of a blank stare before my Guide pointed his super useful “invisible to all but me” hand to point to what looked kind of like a crossbow, but with no normal trigger and a series of leather straps underneath.

One dumb question avoided.

Picking it up and studying it gave me very little in the way of how to use it. On cue, a block of text popped up thanks to Alfred. I probably would have been angry about the pictures he decided to include, but honestly they were so helpful I didn’t even care if he was being condescending.

“Interesting concept, but why this over anything else? Damage seems low, too.” I could see the Gnome lose what little steam he convinced himself he had. His determination almost wavered, but he took a deep breath and steeled his resolve.

“From the scabbards on your b-back, you’re focusing on a two weapon fighting style, yes?” he said, finally finding the gumption to continue his spiel. “The Arm C-crossbow provides you ranged capabilities without having to drop or sheath a weapon. As far as stats go, the n-noob model is pretty mediocre but it will help you start ranking up the skill.”

He took another deep breath and I had a feeling he was getting to the real reason he wanted to talk. “And if you can help me get my Artificer class, I can make you a much better one.”

Getting buddy-buddy with a player focused on crafting? This could go places.

“Alright bud, you got yourself a deal! The name is Jack. Jack Alltrades. What’s yours?”

“Nikola Nelson, but you can call me Nik.”