"It's about Desmond."

Amy entered the bathroom accompanied by that statement. She had knocked first, asking, of course, and Christina had let her in since she was only washing her hands.

So she wanted to talk about the boy.

And while he wasn't in the room. She couldn't think what it could be due to. But she had to give up hope that this would be an easy conversation. If it was, then Amy would have had no qualms about talking about it in front of Desmond himself.

Anyway, more headaches, she thought.

As usual.

Christina turned off the faucet, shutting off the water flow. She wished baths and showers were just as convenient. Turn on or off, that's it, just that. When she showered, what she wanted was not to have to concentrate, even if only minimally, but the opposite.

To stop thinking. To relax.

"What about Desmond? "she asked, looking at Amy in the reflection of the mirror.

"Do you like him?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course, don't you?"

"No, I mean..." She hesitated, as if regretting talking to her about this. But in the end she continued, "In a romantic sense. Do you like him that way?"

What was this about?

Was she jealous? If so, then it would be a real mess.

Christina didn't have much experience when it came to romance, if the occasions when both boys and girls had tried to seduce her could be considered experience in the first place.

But she had common sense and she read a lot.

So she knew that relationships, even the ones that went downhill, could end in friendships.

They could leave everything broken and twisted, with no way to get it back to the way it was.

And it was even worse, of course, when relationships failed. When broken hearts, with thorns stuck in them, were added to the mix of disaster.

By the gods, anything but that.

"Wait. "Amy walked over to the bathtub and went through the process of opening the portal to let the water fall, and made it fall in great quantities and at a speed she surely would not have endured if she had been under that stream. "Just in case," she added.

There was no need to ask what she meant.

Amy was afraid, and for good reason, that Desmond might come back at the most inopportune moment and hear this.

Christina wasn't sure that the noise of the rushing water would be enough to block their conversation from Desmond's ears, if he used his magic.

But hey, he would have no reason to reinforce his ears in the room. Surely they would have been safe even if Amy had only turned on the faucet of the sink.

She wanted to be cautious, though, and wasn't going to argue with her about it.

"Well?"

"No. Not at all."

"Really?"

Amy sounded surprised, even, for some reason.

"Yes. Don't get me wrong, it's not that he's ugly. He's tall and has a clearly well-trained body... but it even feels weird to say that, really. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Because it's like talking that way about a brother."

"So you love him like a brother. Like family."

"That's what I said, yeah. So you don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to stand in your way if you want to go after him."

Things would probably go very wrong. For her, for everyone.

But she was her friend.

The least she could do was show her support. If it had been some other kind of stupidity, Christina would have tried to steer her in the right direction, at least. But she had no right to say anything when it came to love.

Amy turned red as a tomato and that confirmed to her, as if anything else were needed, that she was right.

That the girl was in love with Desmond.

"No!" she protested vehemently, but it didn't sound very convincing with her face so red. And from the general tone of the conversation. "No, that's not... That's not what I meant, not at all!"

"You don't need to deny it. I am your friend."

Speaking of headaches, that strong stream of water was going to give her one. It was very irritating to have to talk with that as background noise and raise her voice higher than normal so Amy could hear her better.

"I deny it because it's not true, Christina. I really don't. I don't even... I don't even..."

"What's wrong?"

Amy took a deep breath, as if fortifying herself.

"I don't even like men," she said, though unable to look her in the eye, she had shown great courage.

But best of all...

"Okay."

Amy didn't need that courage with her. Christina wasn't ignorant enough to have a problem with something like that.

However, her acceptance wasn't everything.

She wouldn't end this in a clean way, without anyone getting hurt.

If it were possible, then she would have considered dating Amy, even if she had no special feelings right now. Would have at least given her a chance.

But it wasn't possible.

So she had to be honest. Rip the band"aid off as quickly as possible, for both their sakes.

"So it's because of me?" She continued "I'm very sorry, but I'm straight. I can't accept your feelings."

"Why do you keep going on about it? I'm not in love with Desmond and I'm not in love with you, please, are you making fun of me?"

Her emotions indicated that she wasn't lying, now that Christina looked closely. That she didn't have that kind of interest in her.

"No. I honestly misunderstood. So, what do you mean?"

"I mean that, well, that.... "She was so red she could have smoke coming out of her ears. "That...your behaviour could... raise doubts. In Desmond."

Christina stopped. She turned that idea over in her mind, and her face turned into a grimace.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Before this, I was convinced that you had fallen in love with Desmond. I was convinced, to be exact, that Desmond was the only one who didn't know."

"Why?"

"You cling to him a lot. And you hug him. Without a second thought. Such, er, liberal physical contact with a person of the opposite sex… Well, maybe it shouldn't be like that, but it tends to make you think..."

"That there's something else there," Christina finished for her.

Amy nodded her head.

"Aha. Do you think Desmond suspects the same thing you do?"

"No. Like I said, I thought he was the only one who didn't know about your... feelings. You know. But well, if you keep it up, he might get some weird ideas in the end... or he might not, after all this time already."

Amy shrugged.

"I don't know. I just don't know, to be honest.But I'm worried about that possibility. I need... I need this to work. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know I'm being selfish, but.... No, there's no but. I know, and that's it. I hope you understand me at least."

"I understand you. I guess I was irresponsible," Christina admitted, "Treating him like my little brother or something and not taking his feelings into account. Or the fact that..."

Christina shook her head and turned off the portal, stopping that maddening downpour.

"Why did you do that?" Amy asked. As if it really needed to be asked.

"Because it's irritating. And because if Desmond comes back and he hears all this racket, the first thing he'll do is knock on the bathroom door. To see what the hell's going on in here."

"I hadn't thought of that."

Christina was a little tired. She had been shifting her feet restlessly for quite a while, as if she wasn't able to assume a particular position.

She stopped doing that and sat down on the toilet seat.

"As I was saying, I was irresponsible. So were you.We've both been thinking mainly about what's best for us. There's nothing wrong with that. That's the way people are."

"I feel a but coming on."

"No, more like a besides. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're not. Only time will tell. But if I suddenly stop behaving like I always do, well, that won't do any good either."

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

Silence fell. Amy looked away and looked at herself in the mirror over the sink.

"You're right," she said slowly and after a while. There's no good way to approach this. There are downsides to everything. "Amy looked at her again. But hey, at least I'm glad you're now aware of the situation you're in. That's a difference."

"And not a small one. Yes, thank you, Amy. I wouldn't have thought of it."

She got up from the toilet seat, without looking, using both hands, she fixed her skirt.

"Let's get out of here now."

Christina thought about making a joke that Desmond might get funny ideas, yes, but of them if they stayed in the bathroom together that long. Decided it was too soon to make that kind of joke.

And that it wasn't even funny. All things considered, it wasn't worth the risk. Christina just wanted her to feel good, less insecure about having revealed she was a lesbian. About what might happen now.

It would make her feel at ease to simply continue with the everyday life they had led so far.

As if nothing had changed.

Because it hadn't really changed. It didn't make any difference that she was a lesbian.

Nothing should change and nothing would change. At least on her part.

They went out.

■

They put their arms around him from behind.

Desmond tensed, almost reacting in an unpleasant way. But he forced himself to relax as he realized that it was not an aggressive act.

That it was nothing more and nothing less than what it looked like: a simple hug.

In this school, there were only two people who would hug him. Well, one, this way only one. Christina. Because Amy had already hugged him several times, but in a group hug, during emotional moments, not just because.

Because Amy wasn't as... physical a person as Christina.

She didn't look it at first glance, but she was very affectionate and clingy. It might sound like he thought she was a bother, but nothing could be further from the truth, he liked her.

Although if it were any other guy, by now he would have gotten his hopes up for nothing.

For reasons... two compelling reasons like the ones he was now feeling on his back.

Axis.

As he was saying, he wouldn't get his hopes up no matter what and he wasn't about to act like an idiot either. He was well aware that Christina wasn't interested in him.

That she was simply treating him, well, like he was her brother or another girl.

As if there were no barriers between them. The distance that guys and girls normally kept.

And that's how it was supposed to be. And that was good.

He didn't want to sully the special bond by getting weird ideas and acting on them. She was treating him this way, well, well, he would act like this kind of physical contact was nothing special.

He had gotten a little lost in his thoughts.

And Christina, because it couldn't be anyone other than Christina, hadn't said anything in the meantime. As if she were waiting for something.

For what?

For him to guess?

■

Desmond smiled to himself and wanted to make some joke, but he couldn't think of anything funny. If he allowed the silence to stretch any further, it would become awkward.

Maybe that had already happened without him realizing it because he often let things slide.

Uh, something. Something clever. It can't be that hard, he thought.

But it was. His mind was blank.

"Hello," Christina said at last. He guessed she'd gotten tired of waiting.

Desmond bit his lip.

He always ended up screwing up at times like this. Sooner or later, the point was that he had a lot to learn. And even though he was getting better every day, at the same time every day he realized that what he had to learn was bigger than he had thought.

"Hello. Is something wrong?"

"Must there be something wrong?" she asked without letting go, and she didn't sound annoyed. Just like she was asking a sincere question, nothing more.

"Well, no. Not necessarily. But your voice sounded a little forced to me. Like you had a lot on your mind. If I was wrong..." Yeah, had probably assumed too much and should have kept his mouth shut like it was now.

"Not a lot of things. Just one, and not particularly worrisome or urgent. But you're right."

That... made him feel good. That he'd gotten it right. He'd felt guilty for being pleased about something like that, but Christina had just

"What's this about?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he answered. Without a second thought.

"It may not be pleasant to hear."

"I don't care. It's you I’m worried about here, not me."

"Okay," Christina said slowly and after a while. She let him go, stepping back to give him room. Desmond turned around and looked her in the eye for the first time since the beginning of the conversation.

Not that he hadn't wanted to. Her violet eyes drew his gaze.

It was a rare color, and quite a bit more so than his own, because it was a color only seen in those who could use shadow magic.

No, if he remembered correctly that wasn't quite true.

Someone with a different affinity could have it, but only if they carried in their blood the lineage of someone who could use shadow magic.

Those kinds of cases were rare, however. The vast majority of descendants with a different affinity had any normal eye color, not violet.

There was something strange today. Not only in her voice, but also her look.

"What is Abigail to you, exactly? A mother, as you told us? Or perhaps a woman?"

Desmond was taken aback.

He had shuffled certain possibilities around in his head, though not expecting to find the answer before she told him, just because.

This one hadn't even crossed his mind.

He wasn't offended.

Well, yes. The question was a bit offensive, but what was occupying his thoughts more was that he had no idea what this had been about at all.

Why Abigail, why now, what exactly was bothering her?

"If you don't want to answer, you don't need to answer, as I said."

"It's not that," Desmond hurried to clarify. "I just don't understand what this is about, frankly."

Christina shrugged.

"Call it curiosity."

Desmond didn't think it was that simple by any stretch of the imagination, but instead of insisting, he nodded.

"As you wish. I told you she's like a mother to me. No, she's my real mother."

"She's a very beautiful woman, though. It wouldn't be strange if you felt something special for her."

True. He wouldn't blame anyone for falling in love with her.

Abigail was a splendid woman with a otherworldly beauty. Any man and not few women would want to possess her as if she were the most precious treasure in the world, even leaving aside her immortality.

Human beings were ugly and dirty to the core. That's why they craved beauty.

That's why they pursued it at all costs and sought to get hold of it. That's why they hid behind so many disguises, illusions and lies.

But instead of explaining to her what he felt... that, for him, Abigail was not only his mother, but that she was too beautiful to arouse lust, like a masterpiece painting, he decided to explain something else.

"Abigail made the same mistake," Desmond confessed matter-of-factly, as if this was a conversation he could have with anyone. Christina didn't make him raise his defenses. Quite the opposite. "The night of our reunion, after you escaped. After we had killed Laura together... She kissed me."

Even after something so embarrassing came out of his lips, Desmond didn't regret it and didn't blush.

It was Christina, after all. What could happen even if she knew?

Yes. There was no reason to be dishonest with her.

"She believed that was what I wanted from her. And she was willing to give it to me. Anything. Still, I turned her down. Because I'm completely incapable of looking at her that way."

Desmond didn't like to talk about that moment.

Not because he couldn't share it with anyone. As he had said, telling Christina about it hadn't caused him a single doubt.

It was about the moment itself. Of what Abigail had thought and done.....

Of the feel of her warm lips and her soft body. He couldn't forget those sensations. And of what it could mean that Abigail had thought that way about him, that she had done such a thing with ease. Without batting an eyelash.

He didn't like to think about such things because sometimes it was better not to think.

Sometimes, for everything to work out the way you wanted it to, it took not thinking. It might not be the right thing to do or a very nice thing to do, but it was true.

Christina nodded, very serious.

"I see."

He found it hard to believe that Christina had gone into the woods, looking for him, for something like this.

There had to be something else.

Or she hadn't told him the truth, but the first thing that had come to her mind.

He didn't know which of the things was true, but one of them had to be true. This couldn't be all that had made her come all this way.

Right?

"Why do you ask? And don't tell me again that you're just curious."

"To get to know each other. She's someone important to you, so everything about her is in turn fundamental to getting to know you. Right? I've wanted to know for a long time. I just didn't see a way to ask it properly... nor have I, of course. I said it in a very thoughtless way in the end."

"I don't think there's any way to talk about something like that politely, so don't worry about it. "He paused for a long moment. "I hope that didn't seem as harsh as it sounded to me. I'm not blaming you or anything, I'm really fine."

"Yeah, I know. No need to explain."

She looked around.

"Do you like it here?"

"I like the woods, yeah. Nature in general. It' s so peaceful. I love being with you girls, of course, but sometimes I need to come out here, sit and take a breath of fresh air and just... relax."

"I understand."

Desmond looked back at the lake. It was what he had been looking at before Christina surprised him from behind.

Now that he thought about it, this was where he had that unfortunate conversation with Amy.

Where things had almost ended very, very badly. And for good. A relief that this, at least now, looked like it wasn't going to play out in a similar way.

"Desmond? What do you want?"

"Huh?"

"That night, you chose to come back with us. Even though you could have gone with the mother you adore. And I appreciate that. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart, don't think I don't..."

"But?"

"What do you want? "She repeated the question, as if it were really an answer "I don't think the day will ever come when you can be with us and that woman at the same time. There will never come a day when you will stop chasing after her for what she is, and us...asking us to risk our lives for her..... even after she saved Amy, it's not realistic."

"I know," Desmond said, looking down at the ground between his legs.

It was something he had become aware of long ago. An unknown he had tried to solve, and his search had gotten him nowhere.

Yes, exactly. Nowhere.

"The day will come when you will have to make a decision. That is why I have come now to ask you these questions."

"I... I..."

"But you don't have to answer them for me." Christina sat down next to him and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. It was then that he realized that his hand was shaking. Feeling his hand tremble inside one of Christina's made him feel like a little boy. "I just want you to know that no matter what decision you make, there will be no hard feelings between us. That you can always count on me."

They stood together staring at the surface of the water. In silence.

Still holding hands.

■

"I've made sure he has no feelings for me."

"You approached him directly? How?"

Amy sounded scared. Christina supposed she couldn't blame her. The truth was, she'd come pretty close to screwing up more than once, or so she thought.

"In the subtlest way I could," Christina said. Which was true, even if it didn't mean much. "I brought up something related...I asked him about Abigail, to be exact, and his feelings told me Desmond doesn't think of me that way."

"Are you sure?"

"Not a hundred percent. But really, when can you ever be 100 percent sure?"

"Good point. Anyway, thank you. And I'm sorry. Again."

"What do you mean?"

"For butting in where I shouldn't have. I was worried about messing up this precious thing between the three of us, but I had no right to say the things I said. Putting my feelings above everything else."

"Amy, don't be silly. I didn't want to give Desmond the wrong ideas and you warned me about it. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Not this time. But what about the next one? "Amy shook her head, visibly frustrated with herself. Under the surface, though, there was more than frustration, there was....

A complicated knot that was making her feel like she had a stomach full of lead.

Christina swallowed saliva at the onslaught of those emotions and waited for her to respond because she was not prepared to do so.

She felt the emotions of others, but that didn't mean she knew where they were coming from automatically. Not that she could read them as words on her paper.

Other people's emotions passed through her and left traces. That was all.

"I need you to know that if anything ever, you know, comes up between you naturally...I don't plan to get involved. Try to sabotage your relationship or anything. I'm afraid...that it's going to get messed up...and just that things will change, to be honest with myself. That you would put Desmond over me because he's your boyfriend.... But you already do that anyway, and anyway...."

She took a deep breath. Christina's eyes stung.

Because Amy had the same weight on her, she could tell. Because Amy's emotions were that intense.

"This is something I have to get over. Sooner or later. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? "Christina put her hands on Amy's shoulders. "I need you to know something, too. You think I care more about Desmond than you do. But you're wrong. You saved me, Amy. You carried me while I was bleeding to safety. You were by my side the whole time... I'll never forget that in my life. You both matter so much to me. We're more than just a team, Amy. I know it may seem too soon, but I think we're more of..."

"A family." It wasn't a question.

Amy lowered her head and smiled to herself after saying that. The complicated knot of feelings in her heart had unraveled.

Only a surge of happiness, like the pure current of a river, flowed from her heart now. Christina thought she had the face of a child. Not at all contemptuously.

Happiness.

Everyone, without exception, sought nothing more than that. There were many paths to happiness.

One of those was acceptance. Bonding with other people.

The thing Christina feared most in the world, because it could undo her until there was nothing left of her.

The thing Christina craved most in the world, because it was the only thing that could complete her, or so she thought. She had to maintain a delicate balance so as not to destroy herself in pursuit of happiness.

But she had left that delicate balance.

She had, so to speak, jumped into the pool along with her teammates. Her little family.

Without learning to swim, and she didn't want to leave.

She didn't care in the least.

She wasn't afraid of drowning.

She wasn't afraid of letting go and losing everything.

Today Christina had done nothing but strengthen the bonds she shared with her precious companions.

So, for the moment at least, the girl's heart was as light as a butterfly's wings.