Ch 5 Am I What?

I woke up early. It was still dark. Not even false dawn. I tried to focus on myself. Something happened last night. I fought against Martha. And it caused something. I could tell Marsha was doing her needle work on the couch from the candle glow. So, I lay there and shuddered. Something was going on. But I didn't know what.

Why did I get three maids? Why was I always being watched? Why wasn't I allowed to learn? To go outside? To be a child? Why did I have to stay inside this room all day? Why couldn't I see my own status? Why didn't I know my own name? I wanted to start crying. But that would tip them off. Something truly was wrong. Why did they call me little miss. Shouldn't I be called young lady? Aren't I a noble? Even though I'm a bastard? Why else keep me?

Why did the baron give me three maids? Did something happen? Is it the baroness? Am I the baron's bastard instead of his sisters?

I had too many questions and no one I could ask either. Maybe I should just run away. Far away. Except they would find me, because he's a baron and it's the empire. There isn't anywhere on this continent that isn't part of the empire.

It isn't fair. Why was I reborn here? What did I do to deserve this? Did I do something bad in a different previous life? that I have to pay for in all my lives after?

Suddenly I felt my mind calming. It was my skill. I wanted to shudder and cry, but I couldn't afford to. I didn't know what was going on. That was the second time my mind had gotten foggy and I just fell asleep. It couldn't have been a coincidence. I needed to focus. I know it wasn't very child like the focus I have, the drive. But if I wanted to live a long happy life, I would have to fight for it. I didn't know how I knew that, but I did.

i slowly slid to the edge of the bed. And softly slid down. I knew Marsha could hear me. But I wanted to go to the bathroom alone. So, I did. A stool appeared less than a day after I needed it. So now I have no trouble using the bathroom whenever I wanted to.

Coming back out, Marsha was ready with a new dress. But I was not. “Shorts please.” I said to her. She looked at me. “Sword training today.” is what I told her. She went to my wardrobe and searched through it. If I guessed correctly, I didn't have any.

Marsha backed away from the wardrobe. Looks like I was right. What will happen now I wonder. She looked at me and motioned me to stay here. So, I sat down at my kiddie table. Ever so patient. It might have been twenty minutes it might have been an hour. I barely noticed as I was browsing through the store.

I had a chance to look over some of the bloodlines now. Some sounded great but all of them left some kind of marker. So, nothing I could get now. So, I went to look for talents. I found an increased perception one that looked good. But I couldn't get it until I was older. my mind was simply too young to be able to process that much. There was an increase intelligence one. Where you can increase the amount of knowledge you retain. It sounded interesting so far, I was looking to see if there was any downfall. There was. You remembered everything. Good and bad. At higher ranks you could remember for every sense too. entire recall sounded cool on paper. but I don't need to remember getting my nappies changed. or the smell of it. If I could edit what I remembered? That would be a blessing.

I bought myself two short practice swords, that were sized for me. They were a good weight. I wanted more so I bought extra and stored them in my inventory. I set the practice swords onto the low table. For now I'll look into things I can store. Maybe books? I can't read yet. It's not like I really need anything right now. I looked at my feet. Decent shoes would be nice, but they would be noticed. Maybe a super soft pillow? mine were all uncomfortable. So, I bought a soft one. I'd have to keep it stored though. Is there a sleep skill? I'd have to look later the door was opening. So, I quickly shut down the system window.

Sitting at the kiddie table waiting I was. The entire time. Yep. Thats me. Marsha came in with the bundle of cloth. It turned out to be several pairs of shorts and shirts, with a vest or two. She motioned for me to stand in front of her, so I did. She held the clothes in front of me and made certain motions. The clothes looked to be my size after that. The shorts and vests were brown and the shirts cream. She had me take off the night gown myself and had me put one of the shirts on. It was large and baggy and went past my hips. Then she had me step into the shorts. After I did so, she tucked the shirt into the shorts and then had me put on the vest. The sleeves of the shirt were nearly too long. So, Marsha rolled them back several times. The shorts went past my knees. and the vest was actually a good size for me. Going from above my collarbone to past my waist. The shorts were tied, the shirt had buttons, and the vest was tied. Seems like I was ready.

I looked at her and asked “breakfast?” she nodded to me and pulled a cart into the room. Setting a larger plate on the kiddie table I sat down to eat. Instead of three plates there were three sections on one plate. Eggs, sausages and fruits. I ate it all. Guess I was hungry again.

Marsha handed me my outdoor shoes. Which were only different from my indoor shoes as they were waterproof. I didn't really have boots or anything. But I wanted them. These were more like leather slippers.

But I could walk in them all day without blisters, which is saying something for modern inventions. And they weren't wooden. Which is a lot to say about the times right now.

As I pick up the practice swords from the table Marsha doesn't say anything. I lead the way out to the training yard. Where I know the captain is waiting for me. I'm dressed for training this time. And I should have better endurance. If I get a chance I should look into sleep skills. get better sleep.

We got to the training yard and there were a few people there. More than I expected certainly. The captain for sure, but one of the cousins? That I didn't expect. He was likely there for training as well. I could hear him from where I was walking. He was complaining the captain wasn't training him.

Ah, I see. The baroness likely found out the captain would be training me personally and took offense, so sent her spawn to disrupt us. The captain sent my cousin to the training guardsman and told him he isn't going to change his trainer. I was glad. I supposed that I was a little unfair I was getting the captain though. But phoughy on them I didn't care. It's not like any of the guards would train me anyway. the captain would and be fair about it.

Entering the side yard. A much smaller arena. I set the swords down. Cousin could be heard laughing at me and stating how could I possibly wield two swords when I can barely lift one?

I ignored him. I waited for the captain to come to me, as I waited, I started stretching and warming up. I didn't know many stretches, but simply things like bending your knees and a few jumping jacks, get your blood flowing. Those are good things.

The captain approached me, and calmly said. “I see you got some practice swords, your size even. Well done. I think we should work on stance for a bit, then do some position sets. Ok?” his cheeriness was showing through. It warmed me. He was just nice.

I smiled and nodded and tried a little salute that I've seen the guards do. Where they hold their fists to their opposite shoulders. It didn't quite work for me. But he laughed and started placing my feet for me. Even without the practice swords it was hard work. Moving my feet from spot to spot as he told me. Trying to remember what position each spot was. I was getting better at it the more we did it.

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After a bit he handed me my swords. I had chosen two heavier swords so I would build more muscle. Since I had pain resistance I could learn faster. And I could heal the damage later. So, grow muscle even faster. Captain had a staff in his hands. He pointed to where he wanted me to strike or defend. As he would say high, middle, low. We would switch off between offense and defense. It was repetitious, but I know it would be worth it when my body knows these moves better than I do. We kept at it.

i was getting tired. Not necessarily sore but fatigued. I was getting more and more sloppy. I couldn't keep up. At one point I simply dropped both my swords and looked at the captain and apologized. He looked at me and said it was alright and that I did well. With that I just passed out. I had spent my all-in-one morning training. I think it was worth it.

*

I woke up while Misha was giving me a bath. There was no standing water in the tub. Just running water. She had me leaning against the side of the tub. So, I was just being wiped down and cleaned up. I suppose I did get extremely dirty. “thanks” I whispered to her. I was so thirsty. “Drink?” I asked her. She picked up a small bucket and held it under the faucet, then held it to my face. I drank deeply. It helped immensely. “thanks” I whispered again. and floated back to sleep.

*

I woke up later that afternoon. Misha was sitting on the couch sideways. Just looking through a book about something I couldn't tell. I slowly sat up. My head was a little dizzy. “What happened?” I whispered to her.

She apparently heard me as she stood and hurried to me. “Hello little miss. Seems you pushed yourself too far today. I hope it was worth it, cuz twont happen again.” I looked at her alarmed. I couldn't train with the captain again? “Seems to be the captain took a hard look at what a little miss can do, and then what a little miss should be able to do. then compared them too. And came up with a handful of questions. You little miss. Came up too hard.” I was deeply confused about what she was talking about. What did she mean I came up too hard? “Seems to me, you aren't all man but some kin in ya. Or so the baron thinks. the baroness thinks that be a mighty bad thing for you to pop ears and a tail.” kin? she meant I could be beast kin? And the baroness thought that was a bad thing? Maybe racism has a different look here.

Huh, what was that about ears and tail? I looked at Misha. “Ears?” I asked her. She went to explain that not all kin the was born of man or fey had their ears and tail when they were born. Sometimes they got them at puberty instead. My first thought was that it could be a surprise adoption.

Too bad I couldn't check my own status, that would be really helpful right now. Huh, I could be beast kin. I didn't know who my father was. So, there is a fun surprise. Does he even know about me? Does he care? Does he know about my mother's death? Is the baron keeping him away from me? now I had a few thoughts in my head.

Misha brought over a small lap table and set it up in front of me. I did feel like a noodle. So, I suppose I was on bedrest. She had a bowl of soup on the tray. I reached for the spoon, but she beat me too it. And tutted at me. I was affronted. the tut. It made me giggle a little. I was so tired right now though. I guess I did go all out. It was fun though. To be able to move for real and not a pretty little lady.

Misha slowly fed me soup. And wiped my chin when I dribbled. I kept yawning. I finished the bowl and wanted more. I was still hungry, but why? That was an adult sized portion. Misha took the bowl and put it on the cart she had, and brought back another bowl, of a different soup. I was delighted. And still hungry. She let me feed myself this time. After she set a napkin in my lap and on my nightgown. The spoon felt awkward in my hand for some reason. I realized it was because it was an adult's spoon. Not the child sized silverware I had been given before. I made do and fed myself most of the bowl. I couldn't finish it, but I was finally full. I put the spoon into the bowl and looked at Misha. “Read to me? Please" I asked her. She smiled at me. She set the dishes onto the cart and placed it into the hall. And brought forth a book I hadn't seen before.

Apparently, it was a book of poetry. Her voice was soft as she spoke in melodies. I drifted off not long after. But it was peaceful this time.

*

When I woke once more it was the dark of the night. With the crescent moon high in the sky. I looked around and there was no candle glow. So, I sat up slowly. I was truly alone for the first time. I blinked for a few minutes to adjust to the nighttime light coming in from the windows. Then I focused on myself and called heal. There was a small shine of light, but I felt myself feel better near instantly. All the little aches and bruises I didn't feel were tight and pulling were gone.

Then I cast cleanse on myself. Because why not. I didn't really feel clean. The cleanse spell says it will give you a full clean. I didn't realize what that had meant. Even under my nails were cleaned. My ears were cleaned out. It felt like my sinuses were clear. And I wanted to burp. So, I did, it was nasty smelling. but I felt immensely better for it. Like I was refreshed. My hair was even soft and fluffy now.

I wiggled my toes. There was no pain, no stretching or pulling, I wasn't even tired anymore. Maybe I should take this time and look through the system store? I could likely get dual wield and swordsmanship now, I think. if I didn't already have them that is. And maybe the sleeping skill I wanted.

Scrolling through I found that I did have dual wielding and swordsmanship as I couldn't buy them at apprentice level. so, I hunted for other weapon skills that might help later on, I chose archery and trap making. and spears and staves. Because those are everywhere.

I tried searching for a sleeping skill but couldn't find one. There were sleep shorter times skills, but I wanted a better sleep type skill. Something that let me get the best sleep I could. I went back to the sleep shorter times skills and looked at the higher ranks and found what I was looking for. It was master level which is why I didn't see it.

Best Respite. A master ranked skill. Let's you get the best sleep you can in the shortest amount of time. It was perfect. I wanted it. So, I bought it. It would help me train at night any skills I wanted to.

Then I thought for a moment, if I was going to train at night, I needed to be able to see at night. So, I started looking at different vision types. And the rank goes up. I found one I liked, but there was a drawback. I wouldn't always be able to tell if there was a light or not. So, I had to go a rank higher to the master level. So, I would be able to turn it on or off. It was complete light vision. See everything like it was noon time. Anytime day or night. No matter your location. but I'd still be able to tell how much light there actually is.

There were other vision types I wanted too. but I think this is good for now. Unless is there a talent to increase my reaction speed? I started looking to see if there are sight talents what about other senses? Could I increase how far I can see? Or could I zoom in and out? That would be cool too. I found the one where I could zoom in and a different one where I could zoom out. I bought them both at master level. Now I could see a fine point or see from across the miles. Needlework won't get me down now.

I wanted to laugh, but I withheld myself. No telling when I would have someone come in. Speed. Thats what I needed. If I could be the fastest and react the fastest. I would never be touched. I looked through the talents, where I was most likely to find something. A few possibilities that I had to go up in ranks to find something worthwhile.

Agile mind. Increase the perception of your thoughts and the speed at which you think. It would let me think faster and react faster than others. Exactly what I wanted.

But I needed my body to be able to keep up, so would I have to train it? Maybe look for training materials? So, I did. There was a plethora.

Some to gain dexterity, some to gain strength, some to gain intelligence. They were all enchantments that you would place on yourself. What happens is that you fight the enchantment. And then you break them. By the time you break them you have drastically increased what you were fighting with. This was brilliant. And exactly what I needed.

As I looked through them, I found several I wanted. Speed, agility, dexterity. Wisdom, intelligence, acuity. I was a little scared it would change how I grew if I changed how I thought, however. But those around me are new to me. If I got these now, they would see much change. So, I selected all six. The enchantments placed themselves on me and disappeared. I suddenly felt muddled and slow. my thoughts contradicting. Why did I think this was a good idea? These were meant for adults. Thankfully I could still pay attention. I wasn't sure how long this would last, but I just knew I was going to regret this.

*