“I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as a plant and rose to animal,
I died as an animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?”
― Jalaluddin Rumi
----------------------------------------
I've never really liked death in movies. They get shot or something falls on them and their friend or lover holds them in their arms and has some long drawn-out talk with them while they lay dying. It always irked me. That's just not how it happens it real life. People rarely have the chance to make peace with a loved one or hear their final words before death. In real life, death either comes far too quickly... or far too slowly.
And when you die slowly... You start thinking about your life. I haven't led a great one.
I was born in New York City in October of 2000. I've never been what you would call blessed. My mother died due to complications giving birth to me. My older brother died in the ongoing war against terrorism. Little sister was hit by a drunk driver while playing in traffic. No aunts or uncles, grandparents gradually died one by one as I got older. From age ten to later it was just my dad and me. Dad had lung cancer from smoking but he said he just wouldn't die until I was old enough to take care of myself. It seems everyone in my life succumbed to something that modern medicine could help, but not enough. Injuries, diseases.
Even I wasn't immune to it. I found out I had AIDS at age eleven. It had been lying dormant in my body for ten years. It was a long battle against it but I stayed smiling for my dad and what few friends I had. I was often avoided because, ya know... AIDS kid. I was pretty much a walking zombie contagion to most kids.
You can imagine why I turned to anime, manga, video games, and the Internet for entertainment. I wasn't exactly fit for athletics or socializing, after all. I even planned that, if I made it to graduation, I'd try to become a doctor. I usually played MMOs as a healer class of some sort. I loved RPGs, especially, and I also got really into isekai manga and anime. The idea that there were other worlds out there that you could get sent to just fascinated me.
I was just approaching my seventeenth birthday when I could tell my end was coming. My immune system had weakened considerably from my disease and I had just caught the flu, of all things.
I lay in my hospital bed, barely conscious and staring up at the ceiling. It was a feeling that not many people are familiar with... facing your own mortality. I didn't know what was on the other side. Was it like a toy that was just turned off, your existence vanishing entirely? Would my consciousness be cast into a void with only my own thoughts to entertain myself for all eternity? Would I be reincarnated with no memories of my previous life? Or was heaven, hell, or some other mythological afterlife real?
My body grew cold and my eyes closed. I felt myself drifting in a black void, my last thoughts turning to how how much my life would've been better if injuries or diseases were as easy to fix as waving your hand and wishing them away. That was when I opened my eyes again.
I was staring up at a wooden ceiling, composed of old-fashioned rafters instead of the blank whiteness of the hospital ceiling. I gazed around to find myself in a wooden crib and that was when I realized how large everything was. I wriggled my body but found myself wrapped tightly in a blanket. When I opened my mouth to call out, instead only a crying sound emerged.
Clacking like high heels caught my attention and someone walked into my vision, looming over me. She had black hair and dark brown skin, but it was the strangest thing... She had rough, floppy ears coming out of the side of her head where her human ears should be, covered in brown fur, while little nubby horns emerged from her long, curly black locks. She stared down at me with big, doe-like brown eyes, a warmth in them like a mother. She reached down and lifted me to her chest, undoing her blouse to reveal a surprisingly large breast. Bringing me to her nipple, instincts took over and I began to suckle, relieved when warm milk trickled down my throat. It was sweet, at that.
She cooed and whispered soothingly to me, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. It was like she was speaking an entirely different language. I reached my far hand up to grasp at the bosom I was held against and suckling from, surprised at the tiny size of my hand. Before I could properly contemplate this, the sweet, warm, thick milk filling my belly made me sleepy and my eyelids fell shut as the horned woman placed me back in the crib.
----------------------------------------
I awoke and this time was able to fully grasp my situation. I was a baby. Reincarnation was real, and I'd been reborn, but somehow with my memories of my previous life intact!
The woman who was tending to me, besides her ears and horns, also sported a long, whip-like tail with a tuft of fur at the end that emerged from her under skirt. The source of the clacking on the wooden floorboards that I assumed was heels were actually hooved feet complete with brown fur going up her legs into her dress. It was clear that she wasn't human and that meant one of two things. Either this was the future and animal-human hybrids had been genetically engineered, or this was some kind of fantasy world where non-human races were aplenty.
Looking at my hands when I could, I saw I had the same dark skin as I had back home, but something was off. I felt something present on the top of my head, but couldn't reach to feel what they were. I also felt something twitching against my leg in the folds of the blanket, but just didn't have the strength as an infant to extricate myself from its folds and check.
I also couldn't understand what my caretaker, possibly mother, was saying. Other people occasionally came in with her, and they either looked fully human or had the ears and tails of various breeds of dogs. Others still were extremely short and petite in hoods, too small much so to be human but not like the little people back on Earth. Their clothes consisted of tunics and breeches and some even carried daggers or short swords, further leading me to believe that this was some medieval fantasy world. Time would only tell what kind it was...
----------------------------------------
The first time I soiled my diaper wasn't pleasant, but I'll spare you the details. Luckily, a lot of crying got the attention of my caretaker. The cow-like woman came in in a hurry, giving a sniff to the air. With the care of a woman trained and experienced with babies, she took me to a nearby flat surface and unwrapped me from my wrapping, then began changing my diaper. I call it a "diaper" but it was just a piece of cloth and judging from the stains it had been reused many times. I shuddered at the thought.
My first changing gave me my first chance to better examine myself. To my surprise, like my caretaker, I had a tail! But this one was long, thin, had a rounded tip, and prehensile. Like a monkey tail, but covered in black fur.
My legs were also a shock. Digitigrade and ending in paws, covered in black fur all the way up to where my thighs met my hips. It was then I realized that the presence I felt on top of my head were ears. I was some kind of cat-human hybrid! Question was... was I a black housecat or a panther? Hmmm...
Also worth mentioning, I could see I was female, just like my previous life. So... that was a plus. Yay!
----------------------------------------
Sleeping was an issue. The first few nights were fine, but eventually I started to feel like something was missing. Every time I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, I felt an intense feeling of longing, like a piece of me was missing. I only ever felt it just as I was about to doze off too and it always jerked me awake and set me crying beyond my own control. My caretaker,who I'd taken to simply calling "Caretaker" in my head, would rush in and rock me to sleep against her bosomy chest. Feeling her warm body against mine seemed to complete me somehow and I would happily fall into a sweet sleep.
However, when Caretaker placed my sleeping form back in the crib, the lack of warm softness against my infant body would cause me to stir awake again and begin crying. Eventually Caretaker found a solution.
She brought in an old teddy bear. It was clearly a hand-me-down and had been patched and mended several times. What was likely brown fabric at one point had long faded into a kind of beige. She placed it against me and I happily wrapped my arms and legs around it, even suckling on its ear a bit. The feeling of that stuffed animal's soft, plushy body against mine, while not as warm as Caretaker's, still fulfilled my need to have something close and pressed against me. I had no issues sleeping once Caretaker had given me 'Theo,' as I called him.
----------------------------------------
A year passed and I could finally understand what people were saying.
My caretaker was named Cremia, so I figured it was about time to stop calling her 'Caretaker.' There was a woman with pointed dog ears and blonde hair who helped out named Shiba and a human woman named Kate. They were dressed similarly to Cremia. Modest long dresses with buttons on the chest, aprons over them, and scarves over their heads that honestly reminded me of spring cleaning. Cremia and Shiba's though made sure to make room for their ears and, in Cremia's case, horns.
I still didn't know what exactly Cremia and Shiba were, but I could gather they were some non-human race, possibly similar to my own cat-like one. I was old enough to sit up and reach up to my head, so I could confirm there were indeed flicking, twitching, live cat ears atop my head.
I also learned that this was an orphanage in a city called Grandia in a country called the United Federation, but they generally didn't discuss politics or history around me. I was actually really eager to learn more about this world, but I guess that would have to wait until I was older.
I did however learn that Cremia was the founder of this orphanage and she wasn't native to the United Federation. She was also quite skilled in healing magic, since I'd seen her using it on an older child who'd scraped his knee. For someone who'd lost so many people, including herself, to injury or disease, it fascinated me. Would I be able to learn it, perhaps?
I also learned that my name here was Kaya. They hadn't mentioned my surname and I was beginning to wonder if I even had one. No one else was being referred to by a surname either. It piqued my curiosity.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
----------------------------------------
It was soon after my second birthday that I got my first playmate. Cremia called him "Runey" but I think that was just a pet name. His skin was a dark brown like mine and Cremia's, but his hair was white, his eyes were yellow, and his ears were long and pointy. His face was also quite angular. I realized he was probably a dark elf, further cementing that this was a fantasy world. I played with Runey quite a bit, though I found it a bit awkward to interact with him. While I couldn't show it since I didn't have the dexterity to talk yet, I still had the mindset of a teenage girl, though I thankfully lacked the hormones for a sex drive. I shudder to think how my thoughts would've been had that carried over while I was nursing from Cremia.
Still, I did my best to entertain and play with Runey. Mostly blocks and dolls, but I noticed that he was... well, kinda mean. He often knocked my blocks over or hit me on the head. I don't think he meant any malice in it, since he always laughed gleefully when he did it. Still, I'd keep an eye on my first friend, just in case...
----------------------------------------
At three years old I was talking like a pro, but I held back any questions that might hint at an overly precocious nature. I didn't want to alarm anyone by showing I pondered things I couldn't have pondered. Still, Runey giving my tail a hard tug and running to cry to Cremia about it gave me the perfect opportunity to ask something very important.
"Hey, Mith Cremia, can I athk a quethtion, pleathe mith?" I asked, tugging on her skirt as she chopped some vegetables.
It was odd how a lot of my speech was involuntary. While the words were clearly formed in my head, I spoke them with a lisp without meaning to. Also, that 'please miss' on the end? Totally didn't intend to say it.
Cremia seemed surprised, but with the tail-tugging incident with Runey, seemed to understand. She knelt down and reached up to rub my ear. I was deeply surprised by how good it felt. I even felt something I didn't know I could do until that point welling up from my chest: A purr.
"You're a Cait Sith, Kaya. They're part of the Beast Races. Your's is... kind of a race of kitty people," she explained.
"Mmm... Prrr... Prrr... What about you, Cremia, mith?" I asked, downright enthralled by the ear rub.
"I'm a Minotaur. We're cow people. You've seen cows in your picture books, right?" She said with the patience and warmth of a mother.
"Yeth, mith! Bu' how come we're the only cow and kitty here, mith?" I asked. I'd intended to say 'Minotaur' and 'Cait Sith,' but it somehow came out like that. It was like my mouth couldn't keep up with my mind.
"Well, Minotaurs aren't native to this country, sweetie. As for Cait Sith, well... Um..." She seemed downright uncomfortable at something, and I couldn't fathom what. Was my race dying out, or something? "Your people just aren't usually in orphanges, hun. Okay?"
She was clearly covering up something, but I just smiled and nodded up at her.
It was through questions to Cremia that I learned that there was actually quite a list of races in this world. The ones native to the United Federation were Humes, Kerdils, Hellhounds, and Cait Sith. Hellhounds were the dog people I saw walking around, and Kerdils were the tiny humans in hoods that reminded me of Hobbits. Yeah, they were all wearing hoods, usually as part of a cloak or hooded cape, and always raised. I asked Cremia why and she just said that Kerdils 'liked hoods,' which seemed like a silly answer you'd give a child, but I let it slide. Humes, which were essentially humans, were part of of the "Human Races' category alongside Kerdils and Dark Elves, which was what Runey was. Hellhounds, Cait Sith, and Minotaurs were part of the "Beast Races" group. Whenever I asked what other races were in those groups or if there were any other categories though, Cremia just rubbed my ear and told me not to worry about it. Being young sucked...
----------------------------------------
I was four years old now and running around like I'd been doing it all my life. I occasionally tripped, but I seemed to have a talent for landing on my feet. Must've had something to do with my feline legs and tail. I'd taken to wearing sandals since shoes were uncomfortable on my cat paws and also long-skirted dresses because pants were similarly uncomfortable for my tail.
I found out that besides Cremia being the founder of this orphanage, she was also something of a teacher and taught the older students lessons on math, history, reading, and writing. I was relieved to find that proper education was a thing in this world and illiteracy was quite uncommon. Luckily, despite not being old enough to take classes, Cremia didn't mind me sitting against the wall at the back of the class and listening in. I learned some valuable things about this world in Cremia's history classes.
"Okay, that's enough math. Let's learn more about the history of Arck," Cremia addressed the class, composed of a mix of Hellhounds, Humes, and Kerdils.
I took note that most of the Kerdils had raised hoods of some garment or other, while the Hellhounds all had different ears, tails, and furred legs matching different breeds of dogs. Their hair color and skin color always matched the fur on their ears, tail, and legs. A golden retriever Hellhound had blonde hair and pale skin, a doberman Hellhound had dark skin and black hair, etc. It was kind of fascinating to observe. From what I could guess, Hellhound breeds were like races of humans back on Earth, though I couldn't help but wonder what happened if two breeds of Hellhounds bred. I'd rarely ever seen two Hellhounds of the same breed.
Arck, as I found out, was the name of this world, like we would call our planet "Earth" back in my last life.
"Arck's history only goes back roughly ten thousand years. All records before that just go blank, no matter the location, culture, or civilization. What we do know is that life on Arck seemed to exist before that since we've found cave drawings and ruins that pre-date our own history. But the curious thing is that no matter where on the planet these cave drawings and ruins are located, their etchings on the walls seem to indicate the same thing, and it is from this that we gained our world's name: All the races of Arck came to this world... on a giant ark," she explained.
The class all set to murmuring amongst themselves. Even I was incredulous. It just seemed so farfetched!
"I know, I know, class. If it helps, scholars continue to question and debate the merits of this theory. There's no records of where the people of Arck could have come from in the first place and the numbers needed to sustain so many races to repopulate an entire world would mean the ark used was not only capable of traveling worlds, but enormous. If so, you would think that some trace of that ark would exist on Arck, but so far, no evidence of such a ship has been found. The distribution of races also doesn't suggest a single point of origin, unless the first to embark from this ark decided to divvy up the continent between them. So far, we have only ancient etchings and faith to go on, but it might explain why official historical records just don't go back further than ten thousand years."
Cremia put her book down and clapped her hands once, smiling at the students. "Okay! Class dismissed! Go do your chores then you can go play."
As the class scattered, I got up from my spot at the back and pattered up to Cremia, tugging on her skirt.
"Hm? What's the matter Kaya?" She asked, turning and bending down, hands on her knees to better reach my level.
"Um... Why am I not doing chores?" I asked, hands awkwardly fidgeting with my skirt.
The matronly Minotaur giggled in response. "Honey, you're too young. Children don't get chores until they're old enough to attend classes. Give yourself another three years and you can start."
I stomped my foot. "But, but mith! I am attending your clath, mith! Pleath, I want thomething to do to help out around here!"
Cremia's eyes softened. I just... I didn't want to spend my first few years of life just playing with Runey. I wanted a head start. And I wanted to help the woman who worked so hard to take care of me!
"Well, I suppose you could do some cleaning around here, but... nothing beyond your ability, okay? When you're older, I can probably upgrade you to helping me cook."
"Yay!" I cheered, jumping up and down. "Thankth, mith! I promith I'll do a really good job! Promith!"
Cremia giggled. "You're such a dear... There's a lot of roads on life. I can't help but wonder where yours will lead."
Ignoring that kind of philosophical statement, I turned and ran off, grinning to myself. Finally, a chance to do some good!
----------------------------------------
Between scrubbing the floors and dusting with a long rod, I took stock of my body and capabilities.
My legs were digitigrade and ended in soft cat paws, covered in black fur up to where my thighs met my hips. I was slender and lithe like a cat and I found I was much better at jumping and running than the other kids my age. My toes also had extendable claws and Cremia assured me that when I got older my fingers would also develop extendable claws. My tail made me very good at balancing and I was also very flexible, enough to bring both legs up beside my head at once.
My senses were much higher than in my previous life, mostly taste, smelling, and hearing. My ears would flick in response to any sudden sound and I also found my tongue was rough like a cat's. Cremia often had to be careful with spices and sauces in my food because of how sensitive my tongue was to taste and texture. I notably had a huge preference for seafood and dairy products. The orphanage had quite a supply of Cremia's milk, since it was apparently natural for female Minotaurs to perpetually lactate without pregnancy. Go figure.
My ears and tail were quite sensitive to touch. A yank hurt like the dickens, but a rub felt soothing and really good. Not sexually, though. I was a bit young for that and I wasn't old enough for Cremia to give me the birds and the bees talk, assuming that was a thing in this world. I found I was also quite the cuddle bug. Laps felt extremely comfortable and I loved sitting in Cremia's. It just felt right and I admit I sometimes had the urge to climb into some of my peers' laps as well. It was also a trait of my race that we couldn't sleep without someone or something soft to snuggle up against, which was why I had Theo. Purring was something we did went content, happy, or when our heads were pet, backs stroked, or ears or tail rubbed. We could do it whether we were breathing in or breathing out and it seemed to come from something vibrating in our chests. We also never did it alone, only in the presence of others.
Another thing I found was that my teeth were noticeably sharper than a Hume's, more befitting of a carnivore than an omnivore. It was mostly my canine teeth, though. The others were only subtly sharper. I found pure vegetable dishes were a bit hard to chew and weren't as satisfying as meat, poultry, seafood, or dairy. Cremia, ever accommodating of her children's needs, ended up mostly only giving me veggies as a side dish or when they were mixed with meat.
Finally, I had really good low-light vision. Like a proper cat, my eyes adjusted nearly instantaneously to sudden changes in light and I was able to see very clearly in dark conditions, though I had no ability to see color in the dark. It was really useful since Cremia was teaching me to read and I could read in the dark like this. My eyes were yellow and had slit, cat-like pupils. They seemed to reflect light in the way you usually see your pet cat's doing.
However, I found that my ears and tail had a very unintended drawback to all they gave me, besides their sensitivity: They tended to make it very hard to hide my emotions. My tail drooped when sad, went between my legs when scared, hooked its tip when I was playful, and swayed vigorously when I was happy. It was the ultimate betrayer to any poker face I could attempt, and my ears weren't much better. How any Cait Sith managed to lie was beyond me.
The tail also made shorts and pants downright awkward, while my feet-paws made shoes really uncomfortable, so sandals and dresses it was. In fiction you see a lot of people with tails just have the tail go through their pants, but the sad fact is that it's pretty hard to tailor pants or shorts with a hole in them without that hole become an issue to the garment's structural integrity. There were proper shorts and pants in this world with holes for tails, but Cremia insisted that dresses were better for a female Cait Sith like me. Ah well, I didn't really mind. I looked cute in them.
----------------------------------------
My days continued like that. I'd stop by the classroom and sit in the back to attend Cremia's lesson and then do cleaning around the orphanage. I still hadn't gone outside. I wasn't allowed until I was at least seven years old, it seemed. Cremia's rule. Apparently Grandia was the equivalent of a large city in this world, so it wasn't safe for a child to my age to play in the streets just yet.
A strange thing happened as I was scrubbing the floor one day, though. A voice entered my head. Androgynous and monotone, and it clearly wasn't my own thinking voice.
"Skill proficiency reached. 'Cleaning: Rank I' has been granted."
What was that? It honestly scared me! My tail poofed up and I jumped twice my height and everything! Was I hearing things? Was I crazy? I think... it was time I asked Cremia more about how this world worked.