I have given death many thoughts throughout my life. I have often wondered why I was even alive and when it would all end. I have often wondered if I would grow old and die with my children and grandchildren around me, or if one of my weird chemistry experiments would go horribly wrong. None of my weird ideas of how it should end could prepare me for this ending.

I was on my way home from work after dark in mid-December when the car decided to die in the middle of a traffic light, which funnily enough had also gone out. Here I sat on a late December evening debating with myself about what I could do, but before I could do anything big, the worst thing I ever thought could happen happened. A large snowplow, of the pointed kind they hardly use anymore, came running, without the slightest light on. He hit my car in the front right with the tip of the plow before I could react.

All I got to experience was the feeling of being hit in the side by something hard. The next thing I know, I'm standing and can see myself being torn in two by the plow, while my lovely car is smashed to pieces by the great forces that hit it. If I wasn't already dead when the plow hit me, all the metal pieces that drilled into my stomach and skull would have killed me. funny that it doesn't affect me a bit to stand here and watch myself being torn to pieces in slow motion. When time finally returned to normal speed, the truck just kept going.

Here I stood for a while wondering what I should do now, when a calm voice is heard behind me. "Well, it was finally your turn." the voice sounded, at the same time, to be having fun, but also to be very annoyed. "Or do you have another trick up your sleeve?" Asked the voice again and this time the iteration was clearly audible. “Tricks?” I blurted out in shock. "Yes tricks! you've almost died so many times now it's absolutely ridiculous.” it came back again with this voice that sounded both angry and happy.

I still hadn't turned away from the wreckage of my car. "how many times?" I asked quietly as I wondered how long it would be before someone found me. "How many times should you have died?" now he sounded completely puzzled. "Yes, I'm really curious how many times I've managed to escape you" I said as I turned to him I knew was standing there.

He didn't look at all like I expected. Instead of an old man with a big scythe, my old friend Mattis, damn it had been a long time since we last saw each other, stood in a fine black suit. How he found one that didn't make him look fat I don't understand, he's always been a little too fond of food. "You should have been dead approx. 3 times a year, so it turns out to be really many times.” He answered now with a big smile. I think I probably looked a little wrong in the face just now. "Is there anything wrong with the look I've chosen?" he asked and I could tell he was having fun right now.

"No, it's just funny that you look like that, but I'm not complaining. With that face I can at least relax" I said cheerfully. "But what are we going to do now, is it heaven, hell or something completely different for me" I asked a little nervously.

"You're coming with me for a walk." He smirked as a portal opened up behind him "There are some who want to meet you. My siblings think you deserve a reward for keeping me like this for the past several years.” He said as he walked over and gave me a pat on the back towards the portal. "They are absolutely right, there is something special about you, can't remember the last time there was someone who could avoid me for so long and at the same time still have the strength to hold on to themselves after their body gave way .” he commented as we stepped through the portal, it felt a bit like stepping through a bank of fog.

On the other side of the portal was a large bright room where 3 other figures sat that I instantly recognized. On the far left sat my old friend Tor playing with a few dice, his long hair and unfocused eyes made him look like someone who was really bored.

Opposite him sat my best friend and Groomsman Mads, with his big black beard, writing in a book while there were 5 stacks of books around him. And in the middle, Emma sat and smiled sweetly at me, it wasn't her normal flirtatious smile, but she was still full of life and joy, just like the last time we were together.

"What do you mean by holding on to myself" I heard myself ask as I stared at my old friends. “Most people would have lost their form by now, and be just a ball of energy. But take a look at you, you are still in your full form.” Mattis explained as he lashed out at me.

while I had been studying the others, Mattis had found his way to the others in the semi-circle, and placed himself between Emma and Tor. Tor suddenly turned his focus away from the dice he had been rolling with and steered it towards me. "Finally it didn't work anymore!" he grinned with his normal big grin. At the same time, Mads looked up and fixed his gaze on me, and smiled while he made a donkey's ear on the page of the book he was writing, and put it down.

When Emma was about to open her mouth, I interrupted her with the words "can I ask something before you start telling me what's going on?" "You just ask Jack" Mads said calmly and patiently. "I know for sure none of you are dead yet, so I'm assuming you just borrowed these faces to make it more comfortable for me?" it came off as a question, even though I was reasonably sure it was right.

"You are absolutely right in that assumption," Mattis said. "Can I try to guess who you really are?" I asked cautiously. "It would be fun to see what you would come up with," said Tor cheerfully. "Let's see. Mattis is easy enough, you usually go by the title of death.” Here I got a small nod from him, and followed up with the question. "Would you rather be called Mattis here and now, or do you have another name you normally use?" Here they looked at each other a bit, and I have the feeling that they were talking together without me being able to hear it. "You can call me Mortimer if you like" It came from the now-named god of death. "The next one, I'm also almost certain, pages and writes in a book and has taken the form of my best friend, who is a historian, so you're probably the god of fate or something like that" I said confidently. "Right on the first try. Just as you usually do" It came from Mads. "You can call me fate if you want"

"Nice to meet you fate" I said as I turned towards Tor. “You are much more difficult. Judging by what you're doing, I'd think, god for probabilities, it doesn't feel quite right, but if I combine that with what I remember about Tor, it's probably more that you don't "just" are probabilities, but all chaos in our lives.” Here Tor almost dropped his jaw.

Stolen novel; please report.

"You're absolutely right, I'm the epitome of chaos theory, and you can call me that" I couldn't help myself with a big smile and the comment "Love your work" While I carefully turned away from Kaos and towards Emma. "There is now only one important perspective that is missing." I said cautiously. "Some would have been blinded by the fact that you have taken the form of the girl I have been in love with ever since we met, but I believe you are more than just the god of love." I started cautiously, looking down at my feet, which were still completely solid.

Here there was complete silence "I believe more that you have taken this form because of the light and life she brings to my life." I said as I tried to hold back the tears, it only dawned on me now that I wouldn't get the chance to see her again. "Would you be nice to change to another form" I asked weakly, "It hurts too much to look at you in that form."

"Of course my dear child" it suddenly sounded from the god of life, and when I looked up my grandmother was standing in front of me. “Is this form better?” She asked cautiously. "yes, I have moved on after her death and the form still fits the same values."

Here Mortimer clapped his hands and interrupted us. "Shall we get started with this meeting, now that Jack has once again proven that he is not some normal soul." The others straightened up and nodded. "Jack we have called you here to this meeting, in part to give you a reward for having entertained us so over the years" My Grandma started. "It has been incredibly entertaining to watch you stumble through life, and always made the best of every situation I threw at you." Chaos grinned as Mortimer and Fate scowled at him.

"You may have found it fun, but it has caused enormous amounts of clean-up work for us" commented fate sourly. “Do you have any idea how many times I've had to rewrite other people's fates because he always took advantage of the opportunities you gave him? And you have probably never thought about how many times Mortimer has gone in vain because he has been able to avoid him through your loopholes.” Hissed fate.

"Hello! We ourselves have agreed that I must always give mortals a way out of bad situations, so you cannot hold me responsible for Jack, who is standing there and feels excluded right now, even though we ourselves have called him here, has been able to figure out how to take the chance when it presents itself.” Chaos quickly defended himself.

"Calm now" said Grandma, "Kaos is right that we agreed on it ourselves so we wouldn't get bored, but that doesn't change the fact that Jack has been far too good for it, and his soul is incredible strong. Take a look at him, even after being here while we chatted, he still hasn't started to disintegrate.”

Here I got their full attention and they looked really impressed. Mortimer was the first to recover and finally begin to explain why I was here. "Jack we have called you here because we want to give you another try if you want it." One more try?” I asked while raising an eyebrow, "As in an attempt on life?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, one more attempt on life" Mortimer replied sourly. "The only problem is that we will have to erase your memories of the first time you lived life." Here I couldn't help but drop my jaw.

"Is it something you are interested in, or do you just want to be allowed to have some peace" came from grandma. "What is the cost of my memories" was the only thing that came out of my mouth. "What do you mean" Fate asked, but Chaos was already dying of laughter, so he probably figured it out.

“He….Hahaha… wants to know….Hahah…. what he has to ….HAHAHAH… do for.. HAHA sorry HAHA just give me Haha… a moment..haha….. “After a deep breath chaos continued “He wants to know what he has to do for us so he can keep his memories” came from Chaos, who was still barely holding himself together from laughing.

"What will his memories cost him?" Grandma asked wonderingly. "Yes" I broke in "What do I have to do to keep my memories of attempt number 1?" They looked at each other for a bit until Chaos seemed to get an idea "Brother Mortimer don't you have some you wish you could have killed yourself so they couldn't cause so much chaos before they died?" chaos asked excitedly.

"Yes, I have," said Mortimer. "You think if he agrees to find and remove these problem people, then we should let him keep his memories?" Asked Mortimer and fate quickly jumped in with "I agree, there are so many people who have taken advantage of the loopholes Chaos has made in the rules to kill far too many people before they could complete their original destiny." now he sounded all energetic

"Imagine if I could see their stories unfold as they were meant to, I'd like to see that, so if you don't agree to let him remember it, I'll find a way to do it myself" Now I almost dared to believe that there was hope ahead, until grandma made an objection "I can't allow him to only remember his last attempt so that he can kill people, so as to compensate for all the death he will have to bring , I think it's time for me to have a new representative on earth. The last one is over 2000 years ago now, but his ability to heal people will be worth its weight in gold to our young Jack.”

Here I was completely out of it. It seemed that I would be allowed to try again if I agreed to kill some people and I would have healing powers similar to what Jesus had. I could hardly grasp my own ears, but it only went completely wrong for me with the next chaos said. "If he's going to be able to kill some of the people Mortimer wants to kill, and still have time to live his life and heal people, we'd better make sure he can get around easily." Here the others looked in wonder at Kaos. While he just looked at me saying. I wonder what chaos could think of? And then it hit me "the chaos theory" I whispered quietly and Kaos started to laugh.

"Quite right Jack, what's with the chaos theory" Here I have the others' full attention. "according to chaos theory, an atom can be everywhere at the same time, but as soon as it is observed, it is only one place, so if my guess is correct, you will give me opportunities to teleport myself."

"Quite right" exclaimed Chaos as he clapped his hands. Here Mortimer cut through again with the good question "What do you say Jack, do you want to take this task on yourself?"

I stood for a moment and thought about it. "You will send my consciousness back into my body while I am much younger, and give me some incredible abilities, and the only thing you ask of me is that I must remove some people who have fucked up your plans. and heal as many people as I can?” I asked puzzled.

"Yes" It came from fate, "And I will even allow you to decide one thing that will be guaranteed in my book" he said with a big smile, and lifted the book he had been sitting and writing in when I came here to. "I only have one thing I would like to write in the book, but I don't know if it can be done," I said hesitantly.

"What is it" Chaos asked over from the other side of the table. "Fate, can you write it so that no matter what happens, Emma will somehow get her son Jamie? won't be without that kid for anything in the world.” fate sat a bit and ruffled his beard before nodding slowly. "I can handle that, it's just a matter of me bending a few rules with life's help" the last was met with a smile and a nod from life.

“With that addition, I would like to accept your offer to try again. Hope it will be many years before we see each other again” I said as I could sense that my consciousness was leaving this plane of existence